Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Richter on September 02, 2012, 12:16:29 AM

Title: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: Richter on September 02, 2012, 12:16:29 AM
Dune, Frank Herbert:  Employees reading this may develop messianic delusions, and attempt to cultivate loyalty based on charismatic personality and noble acts.  Expectation of leaders to model desired behavior may emerge.  Fanaticism may develop in weaker personalities.  Grandiose statements about environment, resource dependence, or the value of knives may emerge.  Have security or law enforcement on hand for termination proceedings, expect drastic responses and cries of "MUAD'IB"

Add books, reasons, etc, as you see fit.  Go!
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: The Dark Monk on September 02, 2012, 02:21:03 AM
Don't forget the rallying if the Imperial Sardaukar, which may in fact cause WWIII.
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on September 02, 2012, 05:39:06 PM
In my case, I'm fairly sure if I brought "Jennifer Government" to work with me, I'd likely be asked to remove myself from the premises.

Elaborating on that point from a work computer would probably be detrimental to my future with the company, as well.
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: Eater of Clowns on September 02, 2012, 08:21:30 PM
aHouse  of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski:  Employees likely to be found idiosyncratically measuring and videotaping the office space, comparing their findings with building blueprints.  Reports frequently turned in with excessive footnotes and unprofessional destruction of the fourth wall, mocking potential investors under the guise of a misanthropic pseudonym and providing far too detailed information on the literary undertakings of obsure and potentially nonexistent amateur scholars.  Beware pseudointellectualism1.

1Employee may find themelves lost in the ever shifting landscape of the office, escaping an unseen malevolence.a
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: AFK on September 02, 2012, 08:29:09 PM
The Game: The boss,will be damned if you are going to beat him in achieving the conquest of the hot number in accounts payable.
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: AFK on September 02, 2012, 08:30:07 PM
300 Signs Your Boss is that Pointy Haired Twirp from Dilbert:  obvious reasons are obvious
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: The Dark Monk on September 03, 2012, 01:10:07 PM
50 Shades of grey: Your boss' wife may have read it, explaining it in crushing detail like their section on nipple clamps. He then files sexual harassment against you.
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: Faust on September 03, 2012, 03:46:48 PM
Atlas shrugged, may turn employees in to entrepreneurs1

1 libertarians with unwarranted self importance and unwarranted self entitlement

1 Assholes
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: AFK on September 03, 2012, 03:59:09 PM
Garfield Minus Garfield:  May make your boss realise you have been completely redundant and unneccessary all along.
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: Richter on September 03, 2012, 11:36:18 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 02, 2012, 08:21:30 PM
aHouse  of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski:  Employees likely to be found idiosyncratically measuring and videotaping the office space, comparing their findings with building blueprints.  Reports frequently turned in with excessive footnotes and unprofessional destruction of the fourth wall, mocking potential investors under the guise of a misanthropic pseudonym and providing far too detailed information on the literary undertakings of obsure and potentially nonexistent amateur scholars.  Beware pseudointellectualism1.

1Employee may find themelves lost in the ever shifting landscape of the office, escaping an unseen malevolence.a

Also known to cause depression.  Possible madness in the suggestible.  Present termination documents without footnotes, end notes, citations, or trappings of academia.
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on September 03, 2012, 11:50:01 PM
Listen Little Man by Dr. Wilhelm Reich.
I work in a VERY advanced hospital and am absent minded enough to leave it on just the wrong coffee-table(s).
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: Richter on September 03, 2012, 11:56:39 PM
Quote from: Faust on September 03, 2012, 03:46:48 PM
Atlas shrugged, may turn employees in to entrepreneurs1

1 libertarians with unwarranted self importance and unwarranted self entitlement

1 Assholes

Dead on.  For the same reasons as books on the Labor movement, just opposite end of the scale.
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: Richter on September 03, 2012, 11:57:52 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on September 02, 2012, 08:30:07 PM
300 Signs Your Boss is that Pointy Haired Twirp from Dilbert:  obvious reasons are obvious

:lulz:
Title: Re: ITT: Books that are cause for firing
Post by: LMNO on September 04, 2012, 01:31:18 PM
Infinite Jest, because carrying around a 1500-page postmodernist book makes you a pretentious douchebag by proxy.