The scene: Late August, at the St-Louis-de-Blandford warehouse in Quebec.
Street value of the loot: $30 million.
The target: The Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve.
The. Global. Strategic. Maple. Syrup. Reserve. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/03/maple_syrup_reserves_hit/
QuoteCommodity markets worldwide and pancake-gobbling North Americans have been left reeling by the news of an audacious theft which may have seen as much as five thousand tons of maple syrup burgled from planet Earth's "global strategic reserve" of the sticky gunge.
A searing announcement from the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers revealed the facts to an astonished world late last week. The largely Francophone Canadian province is responsible for as much as 80 per cent of world maple syrup production, and fully two-thirds of Canada's output is exported to feed the insatiable demands of pancake-noshing breakfasters in the Dominion's vast southern neighbour.
This is even better than that time I discovered that China had strategic pork reserves.
I'm torn between :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: (where are they going to fence this? is there really a black market for maple syrup?) and :argh!: because real maple syrup is fucking delicious and expensive already.
Quote from: Cain on September 20, 2012, 10:41:55 PM
The scene: Late August, at the St-Louis-de-Blandford warehouse in Quebec.
Street value of the loot: $30 million.
The target: The Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve.
The. Global. Strategic. Maple. Syrup. Reserve.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/03/maple_syrup_reserves_hit/
QuoteCommodity markets worldwide and pancake-gobbling North Americans have been left reeling by the news of an audacious theft which may have seen as much as five thousand tons of maple syrup burgled from planet Earth's "global strategic reserve" of the sticky gunge.
A searing announcement from the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers revealed the facts to an astonished world late last week. The largely Francophone Canadian province is responsible for as much as 80 per cent of world maple syrup production, and fully two-thirds of Canada's output is exported to feed the insatiable demands of pancake-noshing breakfasters in the Dominion's vast southern neighbour.
This is even better than that time I discovered that China had strategic pork reserves.
It was Payne, he is mad at the Quebecois for hoarding all the good syrup and keeping prices too high. He likes to bathe in it, which is cool, because I like the taste of maple syrup. It was either that or he killed all Canadians to obtain it all.
Die Hard 5: This Time it Sticks
Quote from: Cain on September 20, 2012, 10:41:55 PM
The scene: Late August, at the St-Louis-de-Blandford warehouse in Quebec.
Street value of the loot: $30 million.
The target: The Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve.
The. Global. Strategic. Maple. Syrup. Reserve.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/03/maple_syrup_reserves_hit/
QuoteCommodity markets worldwide and pancake-gobbling North Americans have been left reeling by the news of an audacious theft which may have seen as much as five thousand tons of maple syrup burgled from planet Earth's "global strategic reserve" of the sticky gunge.
A searing announcement from the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers revealed the facts to an astonished world late last week. The largely Francophone Canadian province is responsible for as much as 80 per cent of world maple syrup production, and fully two-thirds of Canada's output is exported to feed the insatiable demands of pancake-noshing breakfasters in the Dominion's vast southern neighbour.
This is even better than that time I discovered that China had strategic pork reserves.
Nooooooooo! How can this BE? The Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserves were my last hope for a stable North America! :cry:
My guess: it's evil moosleem terrrists who are about to unveil a whole new kind of dirty bomb. It's gonna be like a sticky 9/11.
Interesting fact about this case: they stole the maple, but left the casks they came in untouched. Given they stole 5000 tons, that is a LOT of maple syrup being redistributed into small, easy to carry packets.
:lulz: :lulz: wut
Quote from: Cain on September 21, 2012, 03:19:49 PM
Interesting fact about this case: they stole the maple, but left the casks they came in untouched. Given they stole 5000 tons, that is a LOT of maple syrup being redistributed into small, easy to carry packets.
THEY'RE MAKING GRENADES! STICKY, DELICIOUS GRENADES!
WE MUST PREPARE OUR GIANT PANCAKE SHIELDS, AND REINFORCE THE WAFFLE BATTLEMENTS!
:lulz:
Quote from: Cain on September 21, 2012, 03:19:49 PM
Interesting fact about this case: they stole the maple, but left the casks they came in untouched. Given they stole 5000 tons, that is a LOT of maple syrup being redistributed into small, easy to carry packets.
Hmm...
suspicious.
i say we get david blaine and chris angel in for questioning.
(how awesome would it be, if it
was a street magic trick, and they made it reappear in some unlikely place, like the capitol building)
Or even better, they somehow moulded it into a replica of the Capitol Building.
It'd attract a hell of a lot more tourists, for a start.
OK Canada, what's going on?
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/09/27/161917296/cheese-smuggling-ring-is-brought-down-in-canda
QuoteA "large scale Canada-U.S. cheese smuggling operation" has been brought down, after an international investigation tracked criminals who were skirting import duties and Canada's higher cheese prices.
"The investigation revealed over $200,000 worth of cheese and other products were purchased and distributed for an estimated profit of over $165,000," Niagara police said.
The smugglers — one current and one former police officer, and one civilian — reportedly sought out pizza restaurants to move their merchandise. News emerged this week that charges would soon be announced against what Mark called a "mozzarella mafia".
Maple syrup and now this? What next? Poutine-based assassinations?
Quote from: Cain on September 29, 2012, 09:35:22 AM
OK Canada, what's going on?
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/09/27/161917296/cheese-smuggling-ring-is-brought-down-in-canda
QuoteA "large scale Canada-U.S. cheese smuggling operation" has been brought down, after an international investigation tracked criminals who were skirting import duties and Canada's higher cheese prices.
"The investigation revealed over $200,000 worth of cheese and other products were purchased and distributed for an estimated profit of over $165,000," Niagara police said.
The smugglers — one current and one former police officer, and one civilian — reportedly sought out pizza restaurants to move their merchandise. News emerged this week that charges would soon be announced against what Mark called a "mozzarella mafia".
Maple syrup and now this? What next? Poutine-based assassinations?
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Oh, Canada!
Also, I am questioning their definition of the term "large-scale" to describe an operation that netted around $165,000 total. I am sure that is very large for a cheese-smuggling operation, but for a "large scale smuggling operation" it seems like a ridiculously puny amount.
OK, LOL, I read further. It was three guys, and they evaded import duties, which, for the record, every Canadian I've ever done business with has tried to convince me to collude with them in doing.
BEWARE THE MIGHTY CHEESE MAFIA!