One last possibility is that everything is exactly as advertized. Tucson is just a city (albeit one with a propensity for statistical flukes), and I am just sitting in an ancient office on the edge of town, gazing out the window onto the blasted landscape that begins where the city ends.
And maybe there really ARE places like Boston and Portland and London, thousands and thousands of miles away...But from a purely practical point of view, what difference would it make? The way things are, the city limits may as well be the end of the world.
You are all down there in your cities where there are things to DO and things to SEE and you can walk damn near anywhere you want to go, or take the subway if it's too far to walk. I am here on this Godforsaken mountain, looking at a city so bleak that we've actually developed a mythology about it, just to make it bearable.
The homeless guys are just crazy people, the police are just underfunded and stressed out, and we have such horrible accidents merely because - being a retirement city - we have loads and loads of drivers from all over the country, with different driving styles, all smashed into one city.
The pervert bars are full of aging perverts, barely able to move because of the various degradations they have inflicted on themselves, and the youngsters are all drones who are DOOMED when we old bastards all die off.
Maybe the sun isn't a hostile diety. Maybe it's just really bright and really hot, because there's less atmosphere between us and it than there is between you and it. MAYBE, just maybe, there's no mystery to this place at all. It's just a horrible little shitty bordertown in the middle of fucking nowhere, and Curly died thousands of miles away and doesn't really still live here.
What a horrible notion. If it weren't for the fact that my desk is demonstratably haunted, I'd probably believe it.
That is not the best of all possible worlds. Reject it.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 03, 2012, 07:36:30 PM
That is not the best of all possible worlds. Reject it.
I was saving that, to bring the horror home at the end.
It's obviously crap, but it's just fiction.
Your city has to be out to get you. The heat has got to be malevolent and the cars on the highway are trying to run your motorcycle over by necessity. It's got to be that way because the alternative is just, well, all these things are happening anyway and you're just in the way. You'll get burnt down or run over or wind up in some beaurocrat's report somewhere and it won't even matter to everything else. Things keep going on in spite of it and you aren't even the main character of your own story.
Zombie fucking Jesus, I am quite impressed with your ability to continuously ramp up the horror levels, Roger. Best not to read all of these in succession like that. I read the first line of this one and damn near flipped a gasket. :horrormirth:
Oh god. No. That's like at the end of the story, when everything is beautiful and the princess lives happily ever after, the camera cuts away and the palace is a dingy room with a lock on the outside of the door in a shitty apartment and the bedridden Queen is a strung-out prostitute turning tricks and the monster is her latest in a string of abusive boyfriends and the Knight who slays the monster is just the meek old man downstairs who always smiles at her kindly in passing.
Quote from: A Very Hairy Monkey In An Ill-Fitting Tunic on October 04, 2012, 01:04:59 AM
Oh god. No. That's like at the end of the story, when everything is beautiful and the princess lives happily ever after, the camera cuts away and the palace is a dingy room with a lock on the outside of the door in a shitty apartment and the bedridden Queen is a strung-out prostitute turning tricks and the monster is her latest in a string of abusive boyfriends and the Knight who slays the monster is just the meek old man downstairs who always smiles at her kindly in passing.
Or not so kindly.
I was in a "place" this morning.
This is like the fucking ending to Suckerpunch.
My God, TGRR. These five are pure :horror:
I didn't say it was a happy place.
Oh, I know that.
But your Holy™ mastering of the english language to convey this stuff never cease to amaze me.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 04, 2012, 01:41:49 AM
I didn't say it was a happy place.
The first 4 are all too familiar and little bits of them actually describe my life or, at least, my whole approach to life. The last one was fucking horrific. Damn you to hell :argh!:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 03, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
One last possibility is that everything is exactly as advertized.
You shut your fucking sick mouth.
I knew not to click on the last one, you warned us in 3. But ever brazen, I ignored your warnings.
Fuck this stupid world.
Quote from: hunter s.durden on October 04, 2012, 04:49:06 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 03, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
One last possibility is that everything is exactly as advertized.
You shut your fucking sick mouth.
I knew not to click on the last one, you warned us in 3. But ever brazen, I ignored your warnings.
Fuck this stupid world.
Another tragic victim of "MUST CLICK SHINY THREAD BUTTON". :(
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 03, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
One last possibility is that everything is exactly as advertized. Tucson is just a city (albeit one with a propensity for statistical flukes), and I am just sitting in an ancient office on the edge of town, gazing out the window onto the blasted landscape that begins where the city ends.
And maybe there really ARE places like Boston and Portland and London, thousands and thousands of miles away...But from a purely practical point of view, what difference would it make? The way things are, the city limits may as well be the end of the world.
You are all down there in your cities where there are things to DO and things to SEE and you can walk damn near anywhere you want to go, or take the subway if it's too far to walk.
I'm the exception that proves the rule. :horrormirth:
QuoteI am here on this Godforsaken mountain, looking at a city so bleak that we've actually developed a mythology about it, just to make it bearable.
The homeless guys are just crazy people, the police are just underfunded and stressed out, and we have such horrible accidents merely because - being a retirement city - we have loads and loads of drivers from all over the country, with different driving styles, all smashed into one city.
The pervert bars are full of aging perverts, barely able to move because of the various degradations they have inflicted on themselves, and the youngsters are all drones who are DOOMED when we old bastards all die off.
Maybe the sun isn't a hostile diety. Maybe it's just really bright and really hot, because there's less atmosphere between us and it than there is between you and it.
:?
QuoteMAYBE, just maybe, there's no mystery to this place at all. It's just a horrible little shitty bordertown in the middle of fucking nowhere, and Curly died thousands of miles away and doesn't really still live here.
What a horrible notion. If it weren't for the fact that my desk is demonstratably haunted, I'd probably believe it.
Curly is forever.
Ah. Thanks.
Yes, pretty close to sea level here. We breathe soup.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 04, 2012, 06:00:18 PM
Ah. Thanks.
Yes, pretty close to sea level here. We breathe soup.
We get coyote poop and radioactive dust.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 04, 2012, 06:07:57 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 04, 2012, 06:00:18 PM
Ah. Thanks.
Yes, pretty close to sea level here. We breathe soup.
We get coyote poop and radioactive dust.
Is must be blowing over here. A lot of our coyotes are mangey mutants that make the evening news as "chupacabras".
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 04, 2012, 06:13:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 04, 2012, 06:07:57 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 04, 2012, 06:00:18 PM
Ah. Thanks.
Yes, pretty close to sea level here. We breathe soup.
We get coyote poop and radioactive dust.
Is must be blowing over here. A lot of our coyotes are mangey mutants that make the evening news as "chupacabras".
The eye witnesses have been drinking sterno again.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 04, 2012, 06:21:05 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 04, 2012, 06:13:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 04, 2012, 06:07:57 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 04, 2012, 06:00:18 PM
Ah. Thanks.
Yes, pretty close to sea level here. We breathe soup.
We get coyote poop and radioactive dust.
Is must be blowing over here. A lot of our coyotes are mangey mutants that make the evening news as "chupacabras".
The eye witnesses have been drinking sterno again.
It's a step up from Bud Light.