In my toilet just now: A turd the size of a human head. Dark brown with a bit of green in it, worked and smoothed on one side & cracked and chipped on the other. It rests in insufficiently deep water. Many small but horribly undescribeable islands surround it. The turd was placed there purposely, with great effort. The turd calls to me. It has chosen me, not me it. I have dreamed about the turd before in my youth but forgotten until now. Why?
Nations desire the turd and rage at my possession of It. Their agents call me at all hours making threats and sending Mr Chop and Mr Scratch around, but I have taken the necessary precautions.
The contract plumber has threatened my life. Again.
Look upon the things your Holy Man™ must endure, to keep the world turning, and take a minute to thank God that you're not me.
:lulz:
Bump, because I am feeling unappreciated by you ingrates
My asshole clenched in sympathy.
I am speechless in the face of that much Holy.
I could politely skirt the implication - but here goes - No one since Zeus has had so vivid a tale of birthing a god into this world. What ever became of this Fecal Athena? Did is disappear into the pipes with a howling cackle? Did it levitate of it's own ill-begotten vileness and hum off into the night to spread malediction, the smaller tagnut postules cirling it like bab-elemental ioun stones? Or did it just lay there? Content to let men build nestled chapels around it, like the Dome of the Rock?
I need to know - mostly because sending folks to it as a later-day miracle amuses me.
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2014, 12:46:00 AM
I could politely skirt the implication - but here goes - No one since Zeus has had so vivid a tale of birthing a god into this world. What ever became of this Fecal Athena? Did is disappear into the pipes with a howling cackle? Did it levitate of it's own ill-begotten vileness and hum off into the night to spread malediction, the smaller tagnut postules cirling it like bab-elemental ioun stones? Or did it just lay there? Content to let men build nestled chapels around it, like the Dome of the Rock?
I need to know - mostly because sending folks to it as a later-day miracle amuses me.
:lulz:
A gift, for your plumber. Because I can't see anything that could possibly go wrong.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2014/06/04/318542635/a-new-way-to-unclog-a-toilet-at-your-own-risk
I would request video of the first time he uses it in your john, though.
Quote from: Luna on June 06, 2014, 07:56:49 PM
A gift, for your plumber. Because I can't see anything that could possibly go wrong.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2014/06/04/318542635/a-new-way-to-unclog-a-toilet-at-your-own-risk
I would request video of the first time he uses it in your john, though.
The mind boggles in horror.