Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 19, 2012, 08:53:31 PM

Title: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 19, 2012, 08:53:31 PM
Jim:  I want Mike to head up the high volt panel work, since you'll be busy on the tower.

Mike:  Okay.

Me:  Have you ever done this before?

Mike:  Loads of times.  <--- Blatant lie. 

Me:  Do you need help setting up a written plan?

Mike:  NO.  I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Me:  Okay.

*add 3 weeks*

Ernie:  Hey, we just tried to bring up the scrubbers, and nothing works.  The lights come on, but the motors don't.

Me:  So we have control voltage, but no three phase.

Mike:  What did you guys fuck up?

Me:  Let's go look.

MIKE FORGOT TO THROW THE DISCONNECT THAT FEEDS POWER TO HALF THE PLANT.

Me:  *engages disconnect, everything turns on*

Me:  Mike, can I SEE that written plan of yours?

Mike:  NO!  *throws hardhat against wall, goes home*

Me:  :hammer:
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 19, 2012, 08:55:33 PM
For what it's worth, not having a written plan when working on 13,800 volt panels is a felony (and if someone had gotten hurt or killed, Mike would be going to jail).

Mike will not, of course, receive any kind of discipline over this.  Not even a write up.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Juana on October 19, 2012, 08:58:49 PM
What.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 19, 2012, 09:00:32 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 19, 2012, 08:58:49 PM
What.

What most people don't know is that 13,800 volt power doesn't act like wall current.

It acts like a hungry fucking octupus that reaches out through the air to kill you.

Or Godzilla, when it blows disconnects right off the wall.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Juana on October 19, 2012, 09:06:17 PM
That is not at all terrifying.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 19, 2012, 09:29:15 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 19, 2012, 09:06:17 PM
That is not at all terrifying.

It isn't, actually, IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

It follows very simple rules.  If you take those rules into account, it can't hurt you.

Allowing some arse biscuit jackass to put his mitts all over it because he has "PE" after his name is just BEGGING for a fatality or three.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 19, 2012, 09:29:34 PM
 :horrormirth: What the fuck is wrong with that guy?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Phox on October 19, 2012, 09:29:50 PM
Good fucking Krishna. The hell is wrong with that guy?  :lulz:
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 19, 2012, 09:30:56 PM
Quote from: Man Green on October 19, 2012, 09:29:34 PM
:horrormirth: What the fuck is wrong with that guy?

He passed his PE test.  He knows EVERYTHING!   :)
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Aucoq on October 19, 2012, 10:35:39 PM
Holy crap that's scary!  I'm glad no one was hurt though and that he didn't cause any major damage.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on October 19, 2012, 10:47:52 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 19, 2012, 08:55:33 PM
For what it's worth, not having a written plan when working on 13,800 volt panels is a felony (and if someone had gotten hurt or killed, Mike would be going to jail).

Mike will not, of course, receive any kind of discipline over this.  Not even a write up.

I believe that he will pay somehow.

Oh, yes.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 19, 2012, 11:22:29 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 19, 2012, 10:47:52 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 19, 2012, 08:55:33 PM
For what it's worth, not having a written plan when working on 13,800 volt panels is a felony (and if someone had gotten hurt or killed, Mike would be going to jail).

Mike will not, of course, receive any kind of discipline over this.  Not even a write up.

I believe that he will pay somehow.

Oh, yes.

He already has.  He is the spitting image of "Wally" from Dilbert.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Luna on October 19, 2012, 11:45:55 PM
Jesusfuck, I'm glad he didn't kill anybody.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on October 20, 2012, 03:27:29 AM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 19, 2012, 11:22:29 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 19, 2012, 10:47:52 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 19, 2012, 08:55:33 PM
For what it's worth, not having a written plan when working on 13,800 volt panels is a felony (and if someone had gotten hurt or killed, Mike would be going to jail).

Mike will not, of course, receive any kind of discipline over this.  Not even a write up.

I believe that he will pay somehow.

Oh, yes.

He already has.  He is the spitting image of "Wally" from Dilbert.

And they try to say the wheel of karma grinds slowly.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on October 20, 2012, 09:20:08 AM
PE is Principal Engineer or something along those lines?

Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Signora Pæsior on October 20, 2012, 09:28:07 AM
 :horrormirth: The fuck, Mike?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 20, 2012, 04:28:01 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 20, 2012, 09:20:08 AM
PE is Principal Engineer or something along those lines?

Professional Engineer.

Also, the bastard called me this morning at 7AM wondering where my I&E tech was (Don was going into the plant at 8AM, and we had said so multiple times).

So I am going to generate an emergency at 3AM tomorrow morning, and fuck HIS weekend up.  And I'm going to do it every weekend until he learns.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on October 20, 2012, 06:26:37 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 20, 2012, 04:28:01 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 20, 2012, 09:20:08 AM
PE is Principal Engineer or something along those lines?

Professional Engineer.

Also, the bastard called me this morning at 7AM wondering where my I&E tech was (Don was going into the plant at 8AM, and we had said so multiple times).

So I am going to generate an emergency at 3AM tomorrow morning, and fuck HIS weekend up.  And I'm going to do it every weekend until he learns.

Why would anyone ever want to fuck with you? The phrase "fucking begging for it" springs immediately to mind.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 20, 2012, 09:00:14 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 20, 2012, 04:28:01 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 20, 2012, 09:20:08 AM
PE is Principal Engineer or something along those lines?

Professional Engineer.

Also, the bastard called me this morning at 7AM wondering where my I&E tech was (Don was going into the plant at 8AM, and we had said so multiple times).

So I am going to generate an emergency at 3AM tomorrow morning, and fuck HIS weekend up.  And I'm going to do it every weekend until he learns.

So, forever, then?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Epimetheus on October 20, 2012, 11:12:42 PM
I'm sure you've been over this, but why exactly is this guy in such an impervious position?

Quote from: Aucoq the Fairy Queen on October 19, 2012, 10:35:39 PM
Holy crap that's scary!  I'm glad no one was hurt though and that he didn't cause any major damage.

Seems like it's only a matter of time...
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on October 21, 2012, 01:39:56 AM
Quote from: Man Green on October 20, 2012, 09:00:14 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 20, 2012, 04:28:01 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 20, 2012, 09:20:08 AM
PE is Principal Engineer or something along those lines?

Professional Engineer.

Also, the bastard called me this morning at 7AM wondering where my I&E tech was (Don was going into the plant at 8AM, and we had said so multiple times).

So I am going to generate an emergency at 3AM tomorrow morning, and fuck HIS weekend up.  And I'm going to do it every weekend until he learns.

So, forever, then?

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 06:27:52 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 19, 2012, 08:55:33 PM
For what it's worth, not having a written plan when working on 13,800 volt panels is a felony (and if someone had gotten hurt or killed, Mike would be going to jail).

Mike will not, of course, receive any kind of discipline over this.  Not even a write up.

At some point doesn't it become a virtue to troll him in such a way IRL that he does fuck up and does do something that the company can't look the other way on?

I mean, I've worked with incompetent folks before, and I've always considered it a duty to throw the drowning man an anvil.  It's much more merciful to get them in trouble than to let them continually make your job harder than it needs to be.  If they've got a shred of self reflection, they'll learn from the lesson and be more competent.  If not, you've already begun the process of poisoning them with the folks above them, and easing them out of the company.

Of course, I didn't need to risk someone dying for it......
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2012, 09:26:29 PM
1.  Mike is unfireable.

2.  I'm at work today, because the distillation tower level indicators wouldn't read.  Instead of calling me about this on Friday night, Mike decided to have them tear up the whole panel (rather than, you know, troubleshoot it).  I came in today, and found that they'd crossed two pieces of instrument tubing.  I'm going to be here a couple more hours while the guys put everything back together.

I am, of course, extremely pleased by all this, and I certainly won't take a horrible revenge.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Juana on October 21, 2012, 09:33:27 PM
How is he unfirable? Has your plant got tenure or something?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2012, 09:34:50 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:33:27 PM
How is he unfirable? Has your plant got tenure or something?

In practical terms, yes.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Juana on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2012, 09:40:49 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.

Well, it's not actually tenure.  It's that we're the forgotten station.  Nobody remembers we're here.  That's why Mike was exiled here from the parent facility.  It's like I work in Siberia.  Or an oubliette.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Juana on October 21, 2012, 09:44:32 PM
Oh fun. What did he do to get exiled?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2012, 09:52:02 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:44:32 PM
Oh fun. What did he do to get exiled?

He laughs at his own jokes.  Loud, braying laughter that ends all meaningful conversation.  He is right about all things, and is surrounded by idiots.  He won't cut his nose hair.  He is bald on top, and grows this ridiculous frizz in the middle, which fools everyone.  He wears his pants halfway up his chest.  He does dangerous things out of sheer stupidity.  He calls people at 6AM on a Saturday morning to give a "heads-up" for something that will need to be done on Monday. 

Generally, he's a jerk.  So they sent him here.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on October 21, 2012, 09:55:17 PM
You invited him to the birthday party, right?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2012, 09:56:30 PM
Quote from: V3X on October 21, 2012, 09:55:17 PM
You invited him to the birthday party, right?

Absolutely not.  We have FUN freaks for that.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:49:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 09:40:49 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.

Well, it's not actually tenure.  It's that we're the forgotten station.  Nobody remembers we're here.  That's why Mike was exiled here from the parent facility.  It's like I work in Siberia.  Or an oubliette.

So then his current assignment is punishment for being a goddamned Jackass to begin with?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2012, 11:50:53 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:49:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 09:40:49 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.

Well, it's not actually tenure.  It's that we're the forgotten station.  Nobody remembers we're here.  That's why Mike was exiled here from the parent facility.  It's like I work in Siberia.  Or an oubliette.

So then his current assignment is punishment for being a goddamned Jackass to begin with?

Yep. 

I, on the other hand, was hired on here.

I can't decide which is worse.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:52:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 11:50:53 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:49:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 09:40:49 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.

Well, it's not actually tenure.  It's that we're the forgotten station.  Nobody remembers we're here.  That's why Mike was exiled here from the parent facility.  It's like I work in Siberia.  Or an oubliette.

So then his current assignment is punishment for being a goddamned Jackass to begin with?

Yep. 

I, on the other hand, was hired on here.

I can't decide which is worse.

Then you must fuck with him at every opportunity.  It's a moral imperative.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 21, 2012, 11:55:24 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:52:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 11:50:53 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:49:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 09:40:49 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.

Well, it's not actually tenure.  It's that we're the forgotten station.  Nobody remembers we're here.  That's why Mike was exiled here from the parent facility.  It's like I work in Siberia.  Or an oubliette.

So then his current assignment is punishment for being a goddamned Jackass to begin with?

Yep. 

I, on the other hand, was hired on here.

I can't decide which is worse.

Then you must fuck with him at every opportunity.  It's a moral imperative.

I'm on the phone with him right now.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Internet Jesus on October 22, 2012, 12:07:01 AM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 11:55:24 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:52:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 11:50:53 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:49:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 09:40:49 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.

Well, it's not actually tenure.  It's that we're the forgotten station.  Nobody remembers we're here.  That's why Mike was exiled here from the parent facility.  It's like I work in Siberia.  Or an oubliette.

So then his current assignment is punishment for being a goddamned Jackass to begin with?

Yep. 

I, on the other hand, was hired on here.

I can't decide which is worse.

Then you must fuck with him at every opportunity.  It's a moral imperative.

I'm on the phone with him right now.   :lulz:

Draw an unreasonable line on how much you're willing to help clean up his latest fuckup and insist that you're meeting him halfway.
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 22, 2012, 12:11:02 AM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 22, 2012, 12:07:01 AM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 11:55:24 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:52:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 11:50:53 PM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 21, 2012, 11:49:29 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 21, 2012, 09:40:49 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 21, 2012, 09:38:39 PM
Gross. I can understand tenure in terms of protecting people from office politics, but there's a point where sheer incompetence just needs to be fired.

Well, it's not actually tenure.  It's that we're the forgotten station.  Nobody remembers we're here.  That's why Mike was exiled here from the parent facility.  It's like I work in Siberia.  Or an oubliette.

So then his current assignment is punishment for being a goddamned Jackass to begin with?

Yep. 

I, on the other hand, was hired on here.

I can't decide which is worse.

Then you must fuck with him at every opportunity.  It's a moral imperative.

I'm on the phone with him right now.   :lulz:

Draw an unreasonable line on how much you're willing to help clean up his latest fuckup and insist that you're meeting him halfway.

I told him that his piping scheme is fucked, his instrumentation idea was retarded, but that I still respect his engineering skills nonetheless.

He hung up on me. :(
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: Internet Jesus on October 22, 2012, 12:12:57 AM
Wait.  Does Mike have any sway with regards to staffing decisions at all?
Title: Re: Mike the Engineer covers himself in glory. Again.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 22, 2012, 12:13:51 AM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 22, 2012, 12:12:57 AM
Wait.  Does Mike have any sway with regards to staffing decisions at all?

Nope.

This is why I fuck with him constantly.  I mean, besides his apparent mental deficiencies.