Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:18:47 AM

Title: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:18:47 AM
Ok so here's how this works.  The following ideas are as spreadable as butter(and herpes).  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to absorb this reinterpretation and use it to fnord a Biblical scholar(using 'scholar' narrowly)............. FIRST THING'S FIRST.................... start your sequence with the word Tabernacle.  Ask your scholar why the Alter of Incense was built with acacia wood.  When he answers explaining that acacia was known as "incorruptible wood" in Biblical times, simply say "Oh, is that because it contains DMT?"  When he responds, "DM-what?" you can then have fun educating him on Dimethyltryptamine(DMT) and its significance to the pineal gland(hoping he won't denounce your scientific mumbo-jumbo).  Tell him how DMT is found in almost every plant & animal, but when extracted becomes a Schedule 1 drug in America.  However, emphasize that there is a church in New Mexico who fought the Supreme Court for the right to drink tea containing DMT in their ceremonies, and won.     #fnord
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 27, 2012, 08:22:32 AM
I think that you underestimate seminary education and clergy degree requirements.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:27:26 AM
On the contrary sir, I actually tend to OVERestimate such things.  Now back to your homework!
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on November 27, 2012, 08:33:03 AM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:27:26 AM
On the contrary sir, I actually tend to OVERestimate such things.  Now back to your homework!

I was never big on the homework thing. Something about someone telling me to study something that I may or may not be interested in. Anyway, do tell me how this acacia debate goes over with your local minister/priest. I personally have no interest in wasting the time of a man of the cloth by trying to seem smarter than him.

I'd rather make him think that my sinful life is more interesting (and fun) than his.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:57:20 AM
Tweedle Dum, if you have no interest in participating in what I am posting, then do yourself the favor of not wasting your valuable time posting on it ;) less homework for you, genius.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 09:03:33 AM
Also, nobody cares how interesting your little life is... not even a man of the cloth :/
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 27, 2012, 09:06:27 AM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:18:47 AM
Ok so here's how this works.  The following ideas are as spreadable as butter(and herpes).  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to absorb this reinterpretation and use it to fnord a Biblical scholar(using 'scholar' narrowly)............. FIRST THING'S FIRST.................... start your sequence with the word Tabernacle.  Ask your scholar why the Alter of Incense was built with acacia wood.  When he answers explaining that acacia was known as "incorruptible wood" in Biblical times, simply say "Oh, is that because it contains DMT?"  When he responds, "DM-what?" you can then have fun educating him on Dimethyltryptamine(DMT) and its significance to the pineal gland(hoping he won't denounce your scientific mumbo-jumbo).  Tell him how DMT is found in almost every plant & animal, but when extracted becomes a Schedule 1 drug in America.  However, emphasize that there is a church in New Mexico who fought the Supreme Court for the right to drink tea containing DMT in their ceremonies, and won.     #fnord

Wow. Stunningly brilliant. I bow before your mighty powers of mindfuckery. Please do let us know how many theologians you manage to convert with your hippie drug rant. After that, let us know how many friends you manage to make here by barging in and being needlessly insulting to other forum members right off the bat. I mean, nobody knows you from Adam so why WOULDN'T that be a good tactic for getting people to listen to what you have to say?

HEY GUYS, THIS NOOB IS KIND OF A DICK SO WE SHOULD TOTALLY LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY!
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Bruno on November 27, 2012, 09:52:32 AM
Jesus was a mushroom, bro.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 10:16:40 AM
Well go ahead & pick your pussy-weggie & note that the forum member was a dick first :p and no these are not hyperbolic "mind-fuckery powers" you twit, these are simple facts that absolutely NO ONE need enjoy unless they genuinely like disproving contemporary religious views... WHICH A DISCORDIAN WOULD NEVER DO lol conserve your anger child.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Bruno on November 27, 2012, 11:03:58 AM
Ezekiel 16:49...


WHO'S A SODOMITE NAO?
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Cain on November 27, 2012, 11:11:41 AM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 10:16:40 AM
Well go ahead & pick your pussy-weggie & note that the forum member was a dick first :p and no these are not hyperbolic "mind-fuckery powers" you twit, these are simple facts that absolutely NO ONE need enjoy unless they genuinely like disproving contemporary religious views... WHICH A DISCORDIAN WOULD NEVER DO lol conserve your anger child.

Are you a Really Real Discordian?
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Cuddlefish on November 27, 2012, 01:30:05 PM
0/10

Didn't read. Would recommend not reading this to a friend.

Bye now.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 02:24:57 PM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 10:16:40 AM
Well go ahead & pick your pussy-weggie & note that the forum member was a dick first :p and no these are not hyperbolic "mind-fuckery powers" you twit, these are simple facts that absolutely NO ONE need enjoy unless they genuinely like disproving contemporary religious views... WHICH A DISCORDIAN WOULD NEVER DO lol conserve your anger child.

This one is SPECIAL.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 02:25:40 PM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:57:20 AM
Tweedle Dum, if you have no interest in participating in what I am posting, then do yourself the favor of not wasting your valuable time posting on it ;) less homework for you, genius.

Yeah, you're gonna go far, kid.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Freeky on November 27, 2012, 02:49:14 PM
I WISH more people had seminal degrees. The religious nutjobs might be fewer in number, because I'm pretty sure you have to read the Bible at some point.

Also, as far as Bibles go, I was not aware they weren't all the same for different denominations! So this thread wasn't a complete waste of time.  Are the differences in what books go in, or how it was translated, or :?
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: LMNO on November 27, 2012, 02:52:15 PM
Freeky, go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ and check out the drop down list of all the different versions you can access.  And that's not even the complete list.

Also, some denominations use the Apocrypha, some don't.  More scholarly people will be able to tell you which ones.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Freeky on November 27, 2012, 02:54:33 PM
Sweet, alphapance! Thanks. :)
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on November 27, 2012, 02:55:36 PM
Without the extraction process, not enough DMT would be burnt to cause any hallucinations. For the most part, its found in the bark and leaves anyway, not so much the wood. Even plants with high percentages of DMT like Phalarys Grass, Psychotria or Mimosa Root Bark have to have the DMT extracted in order to be useful as a drug. (Smoked extract or mixed with an MAOI ala Ayahuasca)

There are better religious drug conspiracies to be found in The Stoned Ape, by Terrance McKenna or "Green Gold the Tree of Life: Marijuana in Magic & Religion" by Chris Bennet.

Also, probably not the best way to start out on this forum...



Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Phox on November 27, 2012, 03:07:37 PM
I will merely point out there are far better ways to challenge contemporary religion that do so in a far more effective and persuasive way.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 03:09:02 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 27, 2012, 11:11:41 AM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 10:16:40 AM
Well go ahead & pick your pussy-weggie & note that the forum member was a dick first :p and no these are not hyperbolic "mind-fuckery powers" you twit, these are simple facts that absolutely NO ONE need enjoy unless they genuinely like disproving contemporary religious views... WHICH A DISCORDIAN WOULD NEVER DO lol conserve your anger child.

Are you a Really Real Discordian?

Apparently, seeing as how he/she seems to have the authority to tell us all what Discordians REALLY THINK.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 27, 2012, 03:37:19 PM
no no guys we've been doing it all wrong

we can open people's minds by directly challenging spiritual leaders with cute factoids about DRUGS LOL
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 03:38:43 PM
Quote from: Cainad on November 27, 2012, 03:37:19 PM
no no guys we've been doing it all wrong

we can open people's minds by directly challenging spiritual leaders with cute factoids about DRUGS LOL

We should invite that one guy back, the one that did the salvia-preaching.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: LMNO on November 27, 2012, 03:41:40 PM
I'd rather stare deeply into the eyes of a wolf.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 03:44:30 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 27, 2012, 03:41:40 PM
I'd rather stare deeply into the eyes of a wolf.

AND THEN LMNO WAS A VAGR.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: LMNO on November 27, 2012, 03:55:17 PM
AND A SEXY ONE, AT THAT.







Wait, that wasn't a wolf, it was a bear...


(http://www.austinchronicle.com/binary/f4b4/Cowboy_Bear.jpg)
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 04:00:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 27, 2012, 03:55:17 PM
AND A SEXY ONE, AT THAT.







Wait, that wasn't a wolf, it was a bear...


(http://www.austinchronicle.com/binary/f4b4/Cowboy_Bear.jpg)

And that, my friends, is prime WOMP material.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 27, 2012, 04:02:18 PM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 10:16:40 AM
Well go ahead & pick your pussy-weggie & note that the forum member was a dick first :p and no these are not hyperbolic "mind-fuckery powers" you twit, these are simple facts that absolutely NO ONE need enjoy unless they genuinely like disproving contemporary religious views... WHICH A DISCORDIAN WOULD NEVER DO lol conserve your anger child.

So when you get home from middle school perhaps you could tell me more about what a REAL discordian does or doesn't do?
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 04:06:54 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on November 27, 2012, 04:02:18 PM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 10:16:40 AM
Well go ahead & pick your pussy-weggie & note that the forum member was a dick first :p and no these are not hyperbolic "mind-fuckery powers" you twit, these are simple facts that absolutely NO ONE need enjoy unless they genuinely like disproving contemporary religious views... WHICH A DISCORDIAN WOULD NEVER DO lol conserve your anger child.

So when you get home from middle school perhaps you could tell me more about what a REAL discordian does or doesn't do?

Also, I like the idea that anger is somehow a finite resource that must be conserved.

Where the hell do these people COME FROM?  And why are they ALL THE SAME?  I have a suspicion...And when the Mormons knock on my door, I am NOT GOING TO ANSWER IT.  They're CLONE ARRANGERS.  Just look at 'em!
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Luna on November 28, 2012, 01:31:08 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 02:25:40 PM
Quote from: NegativeNinja999 on November 27, 2012, 08:57:20 AM
Tweedle Dum, if you have no interest in participating in what I am posting, then do yourself the favor of not wasting your valuable time posting on it ;) less homework for you, genius.

Yeah, you're gonna go far, kid.

Probably not far enough, fast enough.
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: Don Coyote on November 28, 2012, 02:38:05 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 27, 2012, 03:55:17 PM
AND A SEXY ONE, AT THAT.







Wait, that wasn't a wolf, it was a bear...


(http://www.austinchronicle.com/binary/f4b4/Cowboy_Bear.jpg)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=YjBeaTiMW04#t=11s
Title: Re: Holy Bible UNRATED
Post by: dontblameyoko on November 28, 2012, 02:44:36 AM
when i saw this title of the thread i thought it would be about R. Crumb's illustrated edition of Genesis.
oh well.