still...
memory fades on darkened days
animalia
stranger
nothing stranger
anywhere
carry on lighting lightning
for heavens only gate is grating moon cheese
now stereophonetically it's all one word
sung in unison by seven seals
dropping knowlege
on survivalist hogs
is wasteful
only grateful are the dead
just because...
:evilmad:
That's not actually that bad.
I'll take your lack of tomatoe throwing as a compliment :eek:
It is bad, though. I would advise encourage you to limit distribution of your poetry to people already well-disposed towards you for other reasons.
I mean, unless you are 12 to 15, in which case it is quite good.
Quote from: holist on November 28, 2012, 08:24:58 AM
It is bad, though.
WTF? I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AGREEING WITH HIPPIES.
Stop that shit.
I'm going to go in the opposite direction and suggest avoiding sharing your poetry with people who are gonna blow sunshine up your butt, and instead find a forum where people will give you honest critique, because in that pinealist word salad I see hints of internal rhythm and intention, and that shows potential of some kind.