So, I was inspired earlier tonight by another member's post in the International Juggalo Erotic Fiction Writer's Association. I was inspired to follow in his footsteps and search "clown sex" on Amazon.
Result #3 was the Accoutrements Yodeling Pickle http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-11761-Yodelling-Pickle/dp/B0010VS078
Result #7 was Big Beautiful Woman Impregnated By A Killer Paranormal Clown: Impregnating Virgin Curves http://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Impregnated-Killer-Paranormal-ebook/dp/B009FO3O9G
Result #41 was pure paydirt. Written by one Tits McGee, the title is Captain Spanky's Spanking a Sexy Police Lady http://www.amazon.com/Captain-Spankys-Spanking-Police-ebook/dp/B0081V77A6/ref=sr_1_41?ie=UTF8&qid=1354420983&sr=8-41&keywords=clown+sex
Intrigued by the compelling synopsis (excerpt: This is a sexy story full of detailed lovemaking, including sex in the ear!) I was driven to explore Tit's McGee's other titles. Some might argue that Captain Spanky's Spanking at the Republican National Convention is the best of the bunch, but I was instantly drawn toward the mysterious intrigue of Captain Spanky's Spanking Sex Dungeon and Sex. My fantastic good taste paid off, because not only is the tantalizing opening excerpt a jewel of erotic titillation, but this masterwork also has scintillating reviews. http://www.amazon.com/Captain-Spankys-Spanking-Dungeon-ebook/product-reviews/B007YUXPF6/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1
I am downloading it to my Kindle for free RIGHT NOW.
I wish i could see the expression on my face right now
SEE? I POST SOMETHING FUN AND ONE PERSON RESPONDS. YOU FUCKS DON'T WANT FUN, ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS ARGUING ABOUT SOCIAL JUSTICE ISSUES.
I AM DOWNLOADING THIS RIGHT NOW
FINALLY!
I LOVE TITS MCGEE
I'm dying over here. :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
The entire free sample of the book is, "Captain Spanky was a horny young clown."
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Suu on December 02, 2012, 07:55:55 PM
The entire free sample of the book is, "Captain Spanky was a horny young clown."
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I KNOW, RIGHT?!
Welp, I'm sold. Fuck you, Mark Twain, a new Great American Wit is born!
The book descriptions are killing me
"Captain Spanky has found his calling - his spanking sex dungeon, with spanking as his specialty. However, even a clown needs a vacation, so Captain Spanky goes to the Bahamas. He can't seem to get away from spanking OR sex though, because of a stupid woman on the beach..."
"Captain Spanky is on the run after his unfortunate incident in the Bahamas. After he drives across (under?) the ocean, a sexy Police Lady tracks him down. What else can he do, besides spank her and have sex with her? This is a sexy story full of detailed lovemaking, including sex in the ear!"
If there's one thing we need, it's more detailed descriptions of lovemaking.
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 03, 2012, 05:17:20 PM
The book descriptions are killing me
"Captain Spanky has found his calling - his spanking sex dungeon, with spanking as his specialty. However, even a clown needs a vacation, so Captain Spanky goes to the Bahamas. He can't seem to get away from spanking OR sex though, because of a stupid woman on the beach..."
"Captain Spanky is on the run after his unfortunate incident in the Bahamas. After he drives across (under?) the ocean, a sexy Police Lady tracks him down. What else can he do, besides spank her and have sex with her? This is a sexy story full of detailed lovemaking, including sex in the ear!"
If there's one thing we need, it's more detailed descriptions of lovemaking.
Including sex in the ear!
Who DOESN'T want to read this?!
Quote from: Suu on December 04, 2012, 02:07:00 AM
Who DOESN'T want to read this?!
FOOLS
My favorite are the people who bought it and then were all "this is terrible!" :lulz:
REALLY?
A friend and I are currently hard at work on a piece of erotica featuring a fringe fetish. THERE'S GOLD IN THEM THAR HILLS.
Plus this is fun!
Eventually, awful bullshit erotica is going to achieve some kind of singularity, and whole novels will consist of nothing but:
'There was a man and a woman in a room, and then penis happened.'
Do I want to know what that fringe fetish is, Nigel?
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 04, 2012, 03:43:04 AM
Do I want to know what that fringe fetish is, Nigel?
Your imagination is probably better than the real thing.
A teaser:
QuoteHe listened from the other side of doorway to the tantalizing snap... pause... snap... pause... snap of the floss being deftly worked between her pearly whites. With each snap, his turgid cock leapt in response, a glistening drop of slime emerging from the slit in his swollen head. He wished he could watch her work the thin white ribbon into the moist crevices between her large, shapely, slightly tea-stained teeth, her tender pink tongue held to the side just so, saliva pooling in the wetly inviting space between teeth and frenulum...
:horrormirth:
(https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcw6zy8EwU1rtn6jy.gif)
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 03:53:47 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 04, 2012, 03:43:04 AM
Do I want to know what that fringe fetish is, Nigel?
Your imagination is probably better than the real thing.
A teaser:
QuoteHe listened from the other side of doorway to the tantalizing snap... pause... snap... pause... snap of the floss being deftly worked between her pearly whites. With each snap, his turgid cock leapt in response, a glistening drop of slime emerging from the slit in his swollen head. He wished he could watch her work the thin white ribbon into the moist crevices between her large, shapely, slightly tea-stained teeth, her tender pink tongue held to the side just so, saliva pooling in the wetly inviting space between teeth and frenulum...
I'm a Doktor, and I endorse this product and/or service. :lulz:
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 03:53:47 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 04, 2012, 03:43:04 AM
Do I want to know what that fringe fetish is, Nigel?
Your imagination is probably better than the real thing.
A teaser:
QuoteHe listened from the other side of doorway to the tantalizing snap... pause... snap... pause... snap of the floss being deftly worked between her pearly whites. With each snap, his turgid cock leapt in response, a glistening drop of slime emerging from the slit in his swollen head. He wished he could watch her work the thin white ribbon into the moist crevices between her large, shapely, slightly tea-stained teeth, her tender pink tongue held to the side just so, saliva pooling in the wetly inviting space between teeth and frenulum...
Sold. Take my money.
:thanks: