Any advice on continuing to be your weird self when other people judge you negatively for it?
I mean, I tell myself I don't give a shit what they think, and I believe it, but at the end of the day my behavior has been pretty restrained around the people who get "weirded out" by the Different.
(Thinking in particular of friends/roomies/neighbors whom I see every day, and the feeling of a need not to alienate them.
To paraphrase a neighbor... "Your Facebook's pretty weird...I mean, if that was the first place I knew you from, I'm not sure I'd have been your friend." Uh huh, and turns out my brain is a few levels stranger than my Facebook. But my brain's, you know, on the inside, so far.)
Maybe just paying more and closer attention to my motivations for my actions, and simply cut off the what-will-the-neighbors-think motivated shit?
I wonder if anyone has a good daily practice for this sort of thing?
My solution has been to chop off relationships like that off like they were a gangrenous limb. I did that a few years ago. Many, many people I knew for many years. I never talk to them. And if I have to talk to them it is very unpleasant.
That part I like.
All in all this has lead me to soaring on clouds of pure joy.
I must say I agree with the squid of Hungarian extraction.
Optional relationships in which I feel that I need to hide my real self are not worth keeping.
When it comes to compulsory relationship (the state in its many manifestations, school, people that give me paying work) I am more judicious. Although very often, when I transgressed the rules I felt were compulsory, I found that they were not that important.
Like on one occasion I rushed to an interpretation job. Now interpretation jobs and very cold winter days with trekking in snow are basically the two occasions I wear shoes, other than that, I'm in sandals (a fuckin' hippie). This time, I jumped in the car with my suit and tie on, all proper and dressed up to provide a service to business types, but forgot to stick the plastic bag with the shoes in in the car. So I ended up interpreting in a suit with sandals. The French suits I was working for found this funny, listened to my apologies with smiles of forbearance, and didn't give a shit.
Most of the limitations, even many of those that seem to be on the outside, are on the inside.
If it's something like work, I water the crazy down as far as it will go. Rest of the time, it's fuck 'em and so long if I'm not compatible with whatever is going on. Not only do I approve of burning bridges, I carry a gallon of gasoline and a book of matches at all times.
Quote from: chimes on December 12, 2012, 07:33:55 AM
Maybe just paying more and closer attention to my motivations for my actions
Do that, and then determine whether you're behaving as the person you
are rather than the person you
want people to see. Growing up, I wore a mask of outlandishness, and a uniform of wackiness, mostly as a defense mechanism against the world. Once that was no longer needed, it took a long time to get rid of that uniform.
LMNO
-reformed pinealist.
Quote from: chimes on December 12, 2012, 07:33:55 AM
To paraphrase a neighbor... "Your Facebook's pretty weird...I mean, if that was the first place I knew you from, I'm not sure I'd have been your friend."
I get this all the time. It's followed by me hitting the block button and walking away, both internet and IRL.
I tend to explore the edges of what they will tolerate. Most people can tolerate something that's just a little over the line every once-in-a-while. do that enough with someone you have to be around all the time, and it's amazing what they will put up with given enough time.
And if people see that I contribute value overall, they seem to have an easier time putting up with the freaky stuff occasionally.
Sometimes not being a dipshit means being by yourself.
Well, a LOT of the time, really.
Everyone is their own little universe of weird. "Normal" is just a really popular one.
I can do normal, hell I fucking am normal, within certain parameters.
I don't need to share the weird shit.
I do that to see the look on their faces :evil:
Quote from: insideout on December 12, 2012, 04:40:34 PM
I tend to explore the edges of what they will tolerate. Most people can tolerate something that's just a little over the line every once-in-a-while. do that enough with someone you have to be around all the time, and it's amazing what they will put up with given enough time.
And if people see that I contribute value overall, they seem to have an easier time putting up with the freaky stuff occasionally.
I like this. And I do this. And I would like to add that exploring the edges of tolerance in people is actually a source of quality fun.