Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM

Title: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
 :sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on December 13, 2012, 06:21:04 PM
Before I answer the question I need some backstory.

1) What happened the last time you were chosen?

2) Did the recipient of your "generosity" ever fully recover?
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on December 13, 2012, 06:22:12 PM
Suggest it at work as a way of bringing the company together.

Then be everyone's secret santa (regardless of whether anyone picks anyone else's name)
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Suu on December 13, 2012, 06:25:41 PM
We should do a board-wide Secret Santa.

Cause like... :lulz:
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:41:19 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 13, 2012, 06:21:04 PM
Before I answer the question I need some backstory.

1) What happened the last time you were chosen?

2) Did the recipient of your "generosity" ever fully recover?

1.  I was generous.  And I GRINNED.  And I was JOLLY.

2.  He's recovering nicely.  He's even learning to talk again...our way.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:01 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on December 13, 2012, 06:22:12 PM
Suggest it at work as a way of bringing the company together.

Then be everyone's secret santa (regardless of whether anyone picks anyone else's name)

Hmm...I already pretty much do that.  I just need to make it all Christmas-y and shit.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:50:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.

I concede the point. Technically, the smell came from the rotting seafood you sewed into the linings of curtains & throw cushions you provided as part of a 'home makeover'.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:53:02 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:50:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.

I concede the point. Technically, the smell came from the rotting seafood you sewed into the linings of curtains & throw cushions you provided as part of a 'home makeover'.

Wasn't me.  That's too much effort.  All you really need to do is run a siphon into the traps in their sink drains, through the hole that the sink's plug is connected.  Then they get whatever odors are in the drainpipes.

VOILA!  HOME IS MADE OVER!
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 13, 2012, 07:29:02 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on December 13, 2012, 06:22:12 PM
Suggest it at work as a way of bringing the company together.

Then be everyone's secret santa (regardless of whether anyone picks anyone else's name)

YES
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 13, 2012, 07:29:33 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 13, 2012, 06:25:41 PM
We should do a board-wide Secret Santa.

Cause like... :lulz:

AND ALSO YES
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 13, 2012, 07:31:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:53:02 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:50:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.

I concede the point. Technically, the smell came from the rotting seafood you sewed into the linings of curtains & throw cushions you provided as part of a 'home makeover'.

Wasn't me.  That's too much effort.  All you really need to do is run a siphon into the traps in their sink drains, through the hole that the sink's plug is connected.  Then they get whatever odors are in the drainpipes.

VOILA!  HOME IS MADE OVER!

Shortcut: Clog their vent pipe.

Bonus points for clogging it with a dead squirrel, but it doesn't really matter that much.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:41:29 PM
Eating a nuclear vindaloo with a bottle of whiskey and then shitting the resulting mess into sacks to pass out to your co-workers isn't giving gifts. It's a biohazard in the making. Unless you're selling that stuff to NASA for rocket fuel, no one wants it.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Eater of Clowns on December 13, 2012, 08:44:27 PM
My girlfriend got a party invitation where the Secret Santa is written at the bottom of the invitation.

So anyone who says they can't make it is now directly screwing over their gift recipient.

If I didn't know any better about the jackass that handed them out, I'd think it was a fantastic troll.   :lulz:
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Junkenstein on December 13, 2012, 09:42:30 PM
The place I'm currently abusing has a mandatory £20 secret santa.

I despise these rituals, mainly due to getting screwed over in this whole arbitrary reciprocal gift giving to practical strangers thing before so I have decided to test the anonymous aspect of the horrible charade.

The subject for my loving affections is our receptionist who resembles captain scarlet in every meaningful way except the invulnerability. As a committed alcoholic he has been looking at the tin-foil wrapped bottle with his name on it for 2 weeks now.

Little does he know it is £20 worth of tin foil carefully crafted into the shape of a bottle.

Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 09:43:55 PM
 :lulz: You are an evil bastard. I love it!
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 13, 2012, 10:32:43 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 13, 2012, 08:44:27 PM
My girlfriend got a party invitation where the Secret Santa is written at the bottom of the invitation.

So anyone who says they can't make it is now directly screwing over their gift recipient.

If I didn't know any better about the jackass that handed them out, I'd think it was a fantastic troll.   :lulz:

Wow.  :lulz:
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Richter on December 14, 2012, 12:42:18 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 13, 2012, 07:29:33 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 13, 2012, 06:25:41 PM
We should do a board-wide Secret Santa.

Cause like... :lulz:

AND ALSO YES

NO. 

wait.....  NO.

I DONT WANT ANOTHER FUCKING BOX FULL OF FISH.

ALSO - FUCKING CRAMULUS.

YEAH, THOSE ARE RELATED.

I EVEN HINTED I WANTED A SWEATER.

DAMMIT.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Suu on December 14, 2012, 01:31:31 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 12:42:18 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 13, 2012, 07:29:33 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 13, 2012, 06:25:41 PM
We should do a board-wide Secret Santa.

Cause like... :lulz:

AND ALSO YES

NO. 

wait.....  NO.

I DONT WANT ANOTHER FUCKING BOX FULL OF FISH.

ALSO - FUCKING CRAMULUS.

YEAH, THOSE ARE RELATED.

I EVEN HINTED I WANTED A SWEATER.

DAMMIT.

That ain't nothin' compared to what's being left on your doorstep next Thursday.

Hint: Let Herbert go down there first.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:57:36 AM
Someone must need another bottle of the Richterbrew.
Title: Re: How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 14, 2012, 05:09:40 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 12:42:18 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 13, 2012, 07:29:33 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 13, 2012, 06:25:41 PM
We should do a board-wide Secret Santa.

Cause like... :lulz:

AND ALSO YES

NO. 

wait.....  NO.

I DONT WANT ANOTHER FUCKING BOX FULL OF FISH.

ALSO - FUCKING CRAMULUS.

YEAH, THOSE ARE RELATED.

I EVEN HINTED I WANTED A SWEATER.

DAMMIT.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: