Uncles and Aunts, it has occurred to me that we've been entirely too lenient with the Norwegians.
Sure they look harmless enough, but they're just lulling us into a false sense of security.
That Waffle Iron guy? Sure, he plays ukelele and occasionally goes out in the snow wearing a skirt but no shirt. He'll even do a little dance for you. But you ever wonder how he's able to stay warm dancing shirtless and with little crotch protection against the elements? Do you know why he's dancing? Because he's basking in the heat of the church he just fucking burned down. Those aren't some goofy moves he's doing to amuse you. He's trying to summon Jormungandr, the dragon eating at the roots of Yggrasil.
And that dude Lenin McCarthy? He looks like a harmless young man, and he claims to be graduating from high school. He even tries to pass himself off as some sort of paradox that's also a pun on the name of two hippies. But you know why he looks so surprised in that picture? It's because he finally traced your IP address back to your house, and he's getting his battle axe and boat ready to go so he can fuck up your shit, loot all your possessions and woo your mom. Kid's thirsty for blood and he's been slaughtering the innocent since he was old enough to pick up a broadsword (when he was 3). You don't get a voice that deep on a diet of milk and vegetables.
You don't even want to know about the Silent One, otherwise known as Sepia. I will point out, however, that we haven't seen Reeducation, Dalek, Triple Zero, Arim the Backwards One, or even that Swiss guy that pissed everyone off lately. Look out Regret. You're probably next on that list.
These Norsemen are dangerous, just like their ancestors. They just got sneakier and are trying to pass themselves off as well adjusted members of society. Don't be fooled. That's when they'll get you.
Your favorite Nephew,
Twid
The thing about Norwegians is, they're so violent that none of the other Belgians will talk to them...Which pisses them off, and makes them MORE violent. It's a vicious circle that can only be broken by playing Bjork at JUST the right moment. Too early or too late, and it sets them off EVEN WORSE. But when done properly, it lulls them into a deep sleep, during which you can truss them up and sell them off to South American organ-leggers.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 31, 2012, 08:44:08 PM
The thing about Norwegians is, they're so violent that none of the other Belgians will talk to them...Which pisses them off, and makes them MORE violent. It's a vicious circle that can only be broken by playing Bjork at JUST the right moment. Too early or too late, and it sets them off EVEN WORSE. But when done properly, it lulls them into a deep sleep, during which you can truss them up and sell them off to South American organ-leggers.
I've also heard it said by some people claiming to be Irish monks that they start dancing uncontrollably if they hear any Ace of Base and will be unable to loot. Unfortunately you have to continuously expose yourself to Ace of Base, which will drive you mad. These monks did seem to have strange facial ticks, now that I think about it.
I thought it was hilarious that they thought I lived in Amherst. Or thought that I gave a shit what they thought. And that I can sing bass too.
Quote from: inode_buddha on January 03, 2013, 01:56:20 AM
I thought it was hilarious that they thought I lived in Amherst. Or thought that I gave a shit what they thought. And that I can sing bass too.
How is this about you?
:?
There is a marked silence from the Norsemen since I posted this thread.
:scared:
While the gist of your message rings clear and true like a klaxon in a library, there is one bit I am unfortunately unclear about:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 31, 2012, 08:36:22 PM
But you know why he looks so surprised in that picture? It's because he finally traced your IP address back to your house, and he's getting his battle axe and boat ready to go so he can fuck up your shit, loot all your possessions and woo your mom.
Why would that make him look surprised, of all things? Had he doubted his ability to trace that IP? That would make him a fake Norseman, no? It must be some devious plot! Enlighten, please!
Its because thats not actually surprise but his berzerker face. It merely looks like surprise to us outsiders.
We're hibernating.
So you say....
I'm putting both Bjork and Ace of Base on my mp3 player ASAP.
I do not want to go the way of the Triplezero.
Quote from: :regret: on January 09, 2013, 12:26:21 PM
I'm putting both Bjork and Ace of Base on my mp3 player ASAP.
I do not want to go the way of the Triplezero.
"All that she wants is another baby, she's gone tomorrow but all that she wants is another baby-ay-ay-ay"
\
(http://i.imgur.com/UhNtF.gif)
Quote from: :regret: on January 09, 2013, 12:26:21 PM
I'm putting both Bjork and Ace of Base on my mp3 player ASAP.
I do not want to go the way of the Triplezero.
We're coming for your MP3 player
Quote from: :regret: on January 09, 2013, 12:26:21 PM
I'm putting both Bjork and Ace of Base on my mp3 player ASAP.
I do not want to go the way of the Triplezero.
Awwww, I just noticed that I made it into your sigline. :oops:
Also, I totally love Taylor Swift, and I don't care who knows.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 08, 2013, 02:46:06 AM
Also, I totally love Taylor Swift, and I don't care who knows.
Somewhere, Nina Simone is weeping. :cry:
I want to know how Nigel does that. :lol: