Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 01, 2013, 02:55:11 PM

Title: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 01, 2013, 02:55:11 PM
1.  The fastest way to a man's heart is NIGEL'S FIST.

2.  When in Rome, SHUT UP.

3.  If at first you don't succeed, DIG IN YOUR HEELS AND SCREECH.

4.  You can't understand a person unless you walk a mile in his shoes AND SHIT IN HIS PANTS.

5.  You're never too old to DIE OF OLD AGE.

6.  A penny saved is a penny DEPRECIATED.

7.  Soonest begun, soonest MISERABLE.

8.  Many hands make A GODDAMN COMMITTEE.

9.  Early to bed and early to rise MEANS YOU MISS ALL THE PARTIES.

10.  An apple a day ACCUMULATES PESTICIDES IN YOUR LIVER.

Continue.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: LMNO on February 01, 2013, 03:02:38 PM
A bird in the hand WILL GIVE YOU SALMONELLA.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on February 01, 2013, 03:07:25 PM
A chain is only as strong as THE FUCKER WIELDING IT
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on February 01, 2013, 03:08:41 PM
A picture paints A THOUSAND DEATHS
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: MMIX on February 01, 2013, 03:22:47 PM
There's A TROLL born every minute
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: LMNO on February 01, 2013, 03:29:22 PM
Nothing succeeds like CHEATING.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on February 01, 2013, 03:31:48 PM
All good things come to he who STEALS THEM
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 01, 2013, 05:06:10 PM
If at first you don't succeed, try OUTSOURCING TO MALAYSIA.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on February 01, 2013, 05:35:09 PM
Early to rise and early to bed
Makes a man underpaid, overworked and DEAD
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Pergamos on February 01, 2013, 06:55:59 PM
Quote from: Wuli Fufu on February 01, 2013, 05:35:09 PM
Early to rise and early to bed
Makes a man underpaid, overworked and DEAD

My favorite so far.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 01, 2013, 07:08:12 PM
A fool and his money are soon CELEBRITIES
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 01, 2013, 07:09:20 PM
A poor workman always blames his APPRENTICE
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 01, 2013, 07:10:58 PM
Another day, another CRUSHING BOUT OF DESPAIR AND LOATHING
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 01, 2013, 07:11:49 PM
Attack is the best form of OFFENCE
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 01, 2013, 07:17:18 PM
Out of sight, out of GODDAMMIT I'M LATE FOR WORK WHERE ARE MY FUCKING CAR KEYS?!?
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: MMIX on February 01, 2013, 07:40:48 PM
A woman, a dog, and a walnut tree, the more you beat them THE LONGER THE SENTENCE

Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 01, 2013, 08:16:15 PM
A stitch in time SAVES LABOR COSTS WHEN DONE IN MYANMAR.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Trivial on February 02, 2013, 01:35:56 AM
A penny  saved IS DEPRIVED FROM YOUR STARVING CHILD YOU MONSTER.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: AFK on February 02, 2013, 01:42:25 AM
Better late than WHEN YOU'RE TAKING THE DIRT NAP.



Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: AFK on February 02, 2013, 01:45:58 AM
A fool and his money are soon OWNED BY GOLDMAN SACHS.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Richter on February 02, 2013, 01:50:04 AM
You catch more flies with OUTSOURCING TO INDIA than with vinegar.

Two wrongs MAKE A CIVIL COURT NIGHTMARE
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 02, 2013, 08:11:32 AM
Diamonds are a ZAMBIAN ORPHAN AMPUTEE CHILD LABORER'S best friend!
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on February 03, 2013, 01:09:02 AM
Never look a gift horse in the BUTT.

Good things come to those who WRECK THE ECONOMY.

Seek and ye shall RUN INTO A PAYWALL.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Malcolm on February 03, 2013, 01:39:48 AM
First the work and then GO FUCK YOURSELF
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 03, 2013, 01:48:17 AM
He who laughs last, laughs UNTIL HIS FACE SPLITS IN HALF.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Lenin McCarthy on February 03, 2013, 02:15:53 AM
The best things in life are IN PERPETUAL CLOSED BETA.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Salty on February 03, 2013, 02:31:22 AM
A bird in the hand beats WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE BALBBING ABOUT.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on February 03, 2013, 02:43:14 AM
Do unto others as you would have them BEND YOU OVER.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Richter on February 03, 2013, 04:47:11 AM
Those who can, do.  Those who can't TRAIN THEIR REPLACEMENTS.

Which came first, the chicken or the INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY?

Fuck 'em if they can't UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITIES OF THE MANUAL.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 03, 2013, 05:12:16 AM
One good deed deserves A KNIFE IN THE SCROTUM.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world A BUNCH OF BITCHES WHINING ON FACEBOOK.

When it rains it MEANS GEORGIANS ARE DRIVING IN TO TREES TO DODGE THE RAINDROPS.


Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Richter on February 03, 2013, 05:16:42 AM
The buck stops NOT IN YOUR HANDS

Loose lips GET PROMOTED TO MIDDLE MANAGMENT

Don't look a gift horse UP THE ASS

Early to bed, early to rise makes a man IDEAL FOR SHIFT WORK

If you can't beat them WHINE ABOUT IT

The early bird gets EATEN BY THE SNAKE GETTING OUT OF THE CLUB LATE
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 03, 2013, 05:55:42 AM
Physician, GO FUCK THYSELF.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 03, 2013, 06:54:14 AM
There is nothing so bad that IT CAN'T BE IMPROVED BY WHINING ABOUT IT.
Title: Re: A partial list of corrected proverbs.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 03, 2013, 07:09:17 AM
Knit one, FUCK YOU.

Where there's a will there's A THOUSAND WILL-NOTS.

Out of the frying pan and INTO THE PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE FLAMEWARS.