I really try hard to believe that everyone has some redeeming qualities ("maybe they're having a bad day or a product of this or that, or x and y..."). It's probably mostly a defense mechanism to keep myself from thinking most people are irredeemable shitbags.
Then I just have to poke some thread about Obama not expressing sorrow for that Texan sniper that was killed but he did for Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston. Even though it's fucking Facebook for fuck's sake. No big surprise, plenty of racism ("That's because Jackson and Houston were black" , "That's because the sniper killed muslims" and so on). Then towards the end some girl goes on a tirade ending with "I don't care if I offend any monkey supporters out there".
It's hard to explain.
Am I personally offended? No, I'm not the one letting my stupid hang out all over the place (aside from partaking in a Facebook discussion in the first place). Am I surprised? No, I haven't been living under a rock since 2008 (not that racism wasn't still prevalent before then, but people have been a lot less shy about expressing it since). I suppose just a bit saddened that I honestly believe that woman and the majority of the people in that thread ARE irredeemable shitbags. That while I try to be nice to everyone from the start, it probably wouldn't take long before I hated them. That they probably harbor several other qualities I despise (though ANYONE can be a racist, and that's not the only -ism I'm referring to). It makes me sad that I think the world would be better off without these people.
Again, this isn't shock or suprise. Probably thinking about it now because of Roger's "Jerk" thread, but I didn't want to much it up with this off-topicness. Again, it's about me trying to balance my love and hatred of humanity and try as I might to see the best in everyone, there is some truth to my negativity that some people are just terrible.
You ever wondered if maybe we're all irredeemable shitbags?
The question then becomes who's existence can you tolerate without following through on the overwhelming urge to squeeze their neck til they stop doing annoying things like living?
Sanity for me involves surrounding myself with this kind of irredeemable shitbag and convincing the rest to stay clear, lest the squeezing thing happens to them.
Being a jerk, as described by Roger, takes care of this more than adequately.
I'm not looking for good people (there's no such thing) I'm looking for compatible shitbags
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 13, 2013, 08:12:56 PM
You ever wondered if maybe we're all irredeemable shitbags?
The question then becomes who's existence can you tolerate without following through on the overwhelming urge to squeeze their neck til they stop doing annoying things like living?
Sanity for me involves surrounding myself with this kind of irredeemable shitbag and convincing the rest to stay clear, lest the squeezing thing happens to them.
Being a jerk, as described by Roger, takes care of this more than adequately.
I'm not looking for good people (there's no such thing) I'm looking for compatible shitbags
Fair enough. That is true. Part of my wanting to see the best/make excuses for everyone does come from "well, who am
I to judge?" Just because I think I'm coming from the right place, well so does everyone else.
The last line is probably the best I can do (I don't really hate everyone and hardly expect anyone to be perfect), especially in maintaining my sanity. I'll still lump racists and the like as group of shittier shitbags, but unless it's happening right in front of my face, worrying myself over it isn't going to help any.
Some people really are just shitty people. And sometimes, if you point this out to them, they actually reconsider whether that's who they want to be, and change.
Social pressure is incredible for affecting change, and the incredible thing is that sometimes it only takes ONE person to speak up, to convince all the other people who are thinking the same thing that it's safe to speak up, too. And sometimes you have to be willing to be dogpiled, to have 50 people just HATE you, to find out who the others are who agree with you, if there are any. Usually there are, unless you're just plain wrong. That happens sometimes too.
You shouldn't let them get to you. They're on the internets, and therefore, not real.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 14, 2013, 10:16:54 PM
Some people really are just shitty people. And sometimes, if you point this out to them, they actually reconsider whether that's who they want to be, and change.
Social pressure is incredible for affecting change, and the incredible thing is that sometimes it only takes ONE person to speak up, to convince all the other people who are thinking the same thing that it's safe to speak up, too. And sometimes you have to be willing to be dogpiled, to have 50 people just HATE you, to find out who the others are who agree with you, if there are any. Usually there are, unless you're just plain wrong. That happens sometimes too.
This. But don't get your hopes up.
Quote from: Suu on February 15, 2013, 02:14:29 AM
You shouldn't let them get to you. They're on the internets, and therefore, not real.
I agree with the first part, but not the second. They ARE real. However, she shouldn't let them get to her, because they're wrong.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2013, 02:53:28 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 14, 2013, 10:16:54 PM
Some people really are just shitty people. And sometimes, if you point this out to them, they actually reconsider whether that's who they want to be, and change.
Social pressure is incredible for affecting change, and the incredible thing is that sometimes it only takes ONE person to speak up, to convince all the other people who are thinking the same thing that it's safe to speak up, too. And sometimes you have to be willing to be dogpiled, to have 50 people just HATE you, to find out who the others are who agree with you, if there are any. Usually there are, unless you're just plain wrong. That happens sometimes too.
This. But don't get your hopes up.
The alternative is often being a Good Nazi. I'll take the dogpile.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 14, 2013, 10:16:54 PM
Some people really are just shitty people. And sometimes, if you point this out to them, they actually reconsider whether that's who they want to be, and change.
Social pressure is incredible for affecting change, and the incredible thing is that sometimes it only takes ONE person to speak up, to convince all the other people who are thinking the same thing that it's safe to speak up, too. And sometimes you have to be willing to be dogpiled, to have 50 people just HATE you, to find out who the others are who agree with you, if there are any. Usually there are, unless you're just plain wrong. That happens sometimes too.
That is all good for me to try to keep in mind, particularly the bolded part. The more people that are willing to speak up, the less acceptable that type of behavior will hopefully come. It would be nice to think/know that I made a positive impression on someone(s), rather than just screaming into the void, as it were. I do try to see the best in people, but I just think I need to better terms with the fact that some people are just shitty, and that they possibly/probably won't change, but to not take it personally.
While overall tend to be shy and fairly passive, my tolerance for ignorant bullshit has worn very thin over the years, and I've had less of a problem speaking up about it, online and IRL. I've come to figure that if I don't want to associate myself with that kind of thought, why care what that sort of person thinks of me. Sure, I'm not immune to feelings and obviously it does still get to me that that type of person exists, but overall, I'm not worried about them liking me. It does still feel like screaming into the void sometimes, though.
On a separate post on a friends wall, I made some comments, partly agreeing with him, some disagreement and also made mention that many people are just hung up on his race and party rather than his actual polices, since he's a lot further right than the socialist inclinations people attribute to him. Then on down the line I get comments from some of his friends that "No one hates him because he's black. You're so focused on his race, it must be you who are racist" and "People don't hate him because he's black. They voted him in because he's black to prove they're not racist." Go back to original thread for evidence of "not racism" and what do you know, "You're the one that focused in on his race. Quite clearly you're the one being racist here." Right after swarms of posts about "monkeys" and "niggers" and the like.
And I have to double check to make sure I'm not the crazy one.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2013, 02:53:28 PM
This. But don't get your hopes up.
Oh, I won't. But there's always a chance. Better to speak up at least, I suppose.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 15, 2013, 03:36:46 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 15, 2013, 02:14:29 AM
You shouldn't let them get to you. They're on the internets, and therefore, not real.
I agree with the first part, but not the second. They ARE real. However, she shouldn't let them get to her, because they're wrong.
I get what Suu was getting at, but the sad fact is that these people are real. But I do need to work on the "not letting them get to" me part more, or I imagine I will have quite the miserable life.
So as to not triple-post: I did at least meet a pretty cool girl in the first thread I described, who seemed to be the only other voice of reason. Funnily enough she lives way out of state, but happens to be friends with another girl I know from this area
Racists and other such pieces of shit are always gaslighting. "I didn't say that, prove I said it. Show me where I said that" and "Yeah you quoted that out of context, that's not what it meant" and "You're reading things into it" and "I was being ironic, that's the opposite of being racist for real".
They're trying to make you feel crazy/wrong/at fault, just like abusive types in relationships try to make you feel crazy/wrong/at fault.
Don't let it suck you in. Don't even engage in debate with these types. Just remember; shitty people lie. They lie all over the place, to themselves and everyone around them. Stand your ground.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 15, 2013, 04:19:02 PM
Racists and other such pieces of shit are always gaslighting. "I didn't say that, prove I said it. Show me where I said that" and "Yeah you quoted that out of context, that's not what it meant" and "You're reading things into it" and "I was being ironic, that's the opposite of being racist for real".
They're trying to make you feel crazy/wrong/at fault, just like abusive types in relationships try to make you feel crazy/wrong/at fault.
Don't let it suck you in. Don't even engage in debate with these types. Just remember; shitty people lie. They lie all over the place, to themselves and everyone around them. Stand your ground.
So much this. It's a red herring to put you on the defensive, I think:
"Where did I say anything racist?" "Show me where I said anything racist"
*multiple concrete examples*
"But show me where I said anything racist!"
Fuck them.
Yea, thanks guys. That's what my gut was telling me, but they're so adamant about it, it almost makes me second-guess myself. But yea, if it gets to that point, it's just not worth the effort to keep trying to reason with them because they're just not going to see/hear it. I suppose that should have been obvious, given it was the one point she was focusing on. I said she was ignorant if she really thinks race isn't an issue, so she called me a cunt because "see I can post insulting things too" (direct quote). So I Liked it because I think that's Facebook works and proceeded to ignore her, since abuse is clearly all she has to fall back on.
Alternately, you could report her and see if you can get her account suspended.
Hmm that's an option I often forget exists on Facebook. Usually because I try not to deal with people I would be inclined to report. But, now to explore that option. To be fair, she also called me a bitch earlier in the thread and has exhibited similar behavior in the past.
I've just gotta stop looking at that thread, as it's just way beyond banging my head against the wall. The latest upstanding citizen wishes that my boss will cut my hours, I'll lose my health insurance plan, end up with a terminal condition with which the government plan will choose to let me die rather than perform surgery.
It does make me question my friend's judgment in a people a bit, though
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 15, 2013, 05:20:04 PM
Alternately, you could report her and see if you can get her account suspended.
This angle is always fun, especially if you can get a bunch of people to report them too. PISSES them off. :lol:
Speaking of which, anybody want to mass-report our favorite FB group later? It would be pretty funny if we could get the whole thing yoinked.
Just say when! :D
Anytime is fine... who all is in? I think we need a dozen or so for it to be effective.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 15, 2013, 11:36:25 PM
Anytime is fine... who all is in? I think we need a dozen or so for it to be effective.
I'll reg tomorrow.
I'm in.
Aw :( That's what I get for not having internet at home. But I'll throw my own report in to help the cause
I've just been informed that if you notify facebook that a certian user has died, they lock the page and make it a memorial.
I don't know if that's true, but I think I know someone you could try it out on...
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 19, 2013, 09:05:08 PM
I've just been informed that if you notify facebook that a certian user has died, they lock the page and make it a memorial.
I don't know if that's true, but I think I know someone you could try it out on...
:lulz: Diabolical! I love it.