Sermon on Eristicism:
Wherein Much is Explained About Nothing Relevant to You;
and Possibly Some Elucidation Expounded About the Great Discordian Jihad Both For And Against the Bureaucracy...
My fellow Discordians of bothy sticky and non-stick varieties,
Much talk has been floating around about certain segments of our Society being sorely vexed about finding certain round golden shiny damned things in their midst. Some of you, I hear, are complaining; believing yourselves to be immune to Eris and Her social antics. Some of you, I hear, can't take a joke. Let the following words then speak to you, if that is you, in as much as the word 'you' means anything.
But first off, I want you to take out your dictionaries and look up the word 'eristic.' If you have a good dictionary, you will find the actual listing for the word. Got it yet? Good....now read the definition because you'll need to keep it in mind to understand what I have to say to you all.
Some of you, I hear, are troubled that some of us are not making any distinction between US and THEM in our efforts to shake things up and sink the damned ship. What pray tell, put it into your heads that being a Discordian gave you some sort of immunity from Golden Apple tossing?
The reason why the Great Discordian Jihad was launched was primarily to prove that assumption wrong. How do you go around calling yourselves 'eristic' or Discordian, or what-have-you, and yet believe that you have immunity from the discord we cause? (Shit. Most of what you are whining about hasn't even really been serious discord caused by any of us. It has usually been a silly joke just for hoots and hollers.)
Your own laughter is the immunity. And if you can't take a joke, well...you know where you can go. We do have a use for Mao buttons, you know...and so would be happy to have a few more. And you didn't hear that from me.
Some of you think that some of us are being assholes. Have you forgotten how to laugh? Are you Discordian, but yet claim to be able to arbitrarily label others as assholes simply because they are carrying out Operation Mindfuck, or having a good time? Really, if you don't like this game we play, you are free to try other games. Hell, you are free to carry on as you have been, whining about the damned things we are causing. Far be it from me to tell you what to do. But at least try to ask yourselves the question, "Why do I not find this shit funny?" when you feel yourselves the victims of the Discordian Jihad. (Besides Discordians can't be assholes, but sometimes can be funny or ODD jerks. And every now and then we need to just shut up while we're ahead.)
I was there in the beginning of the DJ (Discordian Jihad) and, though I have been participating in it and loudly and longwindedly supportive of the whole mess, I have also fallen victim to some funny pranks. Did I whine and complain about that? No. I simply kept playing the game. As it has always been said, you can choose to participate in the DJ, or not, or maybe...or something else entirely. But please stop your whining about how eristic we are, or can be, or are getting. Otherwise I will have to start ranting again....and I really really really need a break from ranting.
Or nevermind. Just forget you even heard this.
Now back to your regularly schedule programming.
[nov.27.2004]
yeah stfu hugh. :mrgreen:
summary for those of use with no attention san. post haste.
Why must we resort to violence like the muslims?
We commit atrocities against logic, but not against people like St. Augustine did when he ordered the murder of an entire town because he couldn't determine who were christians and who were heretics.
::Stabs all who think violence solves anything::
when has anyone on this board resorted to violence?
besides me, of course....I have an army to keep busy....that's what we do...
8)
when the lynch mobs coem knocking, woe be to him who thinks to defend himself with only his with and charm.
hotsuma, i think basiclly he;s sayign stop crying, it's onyl a game.
or in cs speak
d00d1: WTG OMG BBQ HAX0R!
d00d2: what?
d00d1: YOU ARE HACKIGN WHAT FUCKIGN BULLSHIT! YOU"VE HEADSHOTTED ME LIKE 10x!!!!!
d00d2: it's called aim.
d00d2: WTF BBQ LIAR!!! STOP USING THE AK!!! STOP KILLING ME!!!
d00d1: that's the point of the game, stfu n00b, stop whining.
d00d2: WTF OMFG!!! YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! ADMINS BAN THIS CHEATER PLZ!!!
d00d1: ...
Don't be cruel. Don't step on my blue suede shoes.
Quote from: ainiWhy must we resort to violence like the muslims?
wow...no sweeping generalizations/borderline racism there....cuz, ya know, everyone who practices the muslim religion is a murderous psychopath, hell-bent on destroying america and seeing the infidels burn to death...yup, even the
two hundred thousand or so who live in Dearborn, in
your backyard....good thing the jews and christians are such peace-loving, reasonable people....
8)
Quote from: Turd Fergusonwhen has anyone on this board resorted to violence?
besides me, of course....I have an army to keep busy....that's what we do...
8)
See the stabbing threads.
it's a real army, darlin'....they need real violence to keep them satisfied...or at least, a steady diet of mischief and tomfoolery....
8)
Quote from: Turd Fergusonit's a real army, darlin'....they need real violence to keep them satisfied...or at least, a steady diet of mischief and tomfoolery....
8)
go build Horab's wall on the 49th parallel. It's what the Roman army did to keep busy.
why would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
Quote from: Turd Fergusonit's a real army, darlin'....they need real violence to keep them satisfied...or at least, a steady diet of mischief and tomfoolery....
8)
Oo, sounds fun!
New Soviet Red Army...if you hate your government, have no regard for laws or ethics, enjoy fucking shit up while retaining a healthy appreciation for subtlety, and want to be at the front of the line for plundering the world once we've conquered it, feel free to enlist.
just remember, deserters will be shot.
twice.
8)
we will then ship your body to SssBella for indocrination into the Zombie army of bullet sponges.
Quote from: Turd Fergusonwhy would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
If Hugh called this a crusade, I would have criticized the Christians, but he used an islamic term.
Jews have had their violent times, but if you omit the first few thousand years of thier existence, they seem rather peaceful. In fact, if you omit a few thousand years from the history of any religion, the religion seems rather peaceful.
Quote from: ainiQuote from: Turd Fergusonwhy would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
If Hugh called this a crusade, I would have criticized the Christians, but he used an islamic term.
Jews have had their violent times, but if you omit the first few thousand years of thier existence, they seem rather peaceful. In fact, if you omit a few thousand years from the history of any religion, the religion seems rather peaceful.
Forgot about Israel?
Dude, he was saying if you OMIT a few thousand years. So yeah, if you left out the current intifada, the Jews look pretty swell.
Hmm seems to me that if you omit a few thousand years you pretty much get rid of ALL religion. but maybe im just stoned/drunk.
Quote
Hmm seems to me that if you omit a few thousand years you pretty much get rid of ALL religion. but maybe im just stoned/drunk.
Yeah, that'd work too.
Quote from: agent compassionDude, he was saying if you OMIT a few thousand years. So yeah, if you left out the current intifada, the Jews look pretty swell
Quote from: ainiQuote from: Turd Fergusonwhy would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
If Hugh called this a crusade, I would have criticized the Christians, but he used an islamic term.
Jews have had their violent times, but if you omit the first few thousand years of thier existence, they seem rather peaceful. In fact, if you omit a few thousand years from the history of any religion, the religion seems rather peaceful.
Quote from: agent compassionDude, he was saying if you OMIT a few thousand years. So yeah, if you left out the current intifada, the Jews look pretty swell.
Not for the ancient fucking Canaanites and the Philistines did they look fucking swell.
Quote from: ainiQuote from: Turd Fergusonwhy would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
If Hugh called this a crusade, I would have criticized the Christians, but he used an islamic term.
Jews have had their violent times, but if you omit the first few thousand years of thier existence, they seem rather peaceful. In fact, if you omit a few thousand years from the history of any religion, the religion seems rather peaceful.
So we Discordians are prohibited from using Islamic terms? Why? Because we should be afraid? Afraid of what? What the Christians have recently done and probably will do again will make all that plane crashing look like a golf practice.
Quote from: ainiWhy must we resort to violence like the muslims?
We commit atrocities against logic, but not against people like St. Augustine did when he ordered the murder of an entire town because he couldn't determine who were christians and who were heretics.
Are you one of those weirdo's that sees the mention of violence the same as violence itself?!?!?
I mean i'm one of those weirdo's that don't.
I'm just trying to see if I understand your reality tunnel and not making an accusation.
am i reading that right?!?!?
Next aini will be calling use catholics because we have popes and saints.
And jihad is only struggle... I let you wrestle aroung with the concept a little before you get the answer to your dilema...
you can't seem to wrest the difference between the mere use of words and actual violence from it's firm grasp within your head.
but I have been known to be wrong.
Quote from: ainiQuote from: Turd Fergusonwhy would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
If Hugh called this a crusade, I would have criticized the Christians, but he used an islamic term.
Jews have had their violent times, but if you omit the first few thousand years of thier existence, they seem rather peaceful. In fact, if you omit a few thousand years from the history of any religion, the religion seems rather peaceful.
you really know nothing of judaism do you?
and agent graves, i find myself agreeign with you more and more. wtf?
If you omit about the first six thousand years of Jewish history, the first two thousand or so of Christianity and about the same for Islam, they look relatively peaceful. Of course, you omit a lot, but all things are possible with their gods.
The first six thousand years of jewish history, eh?
Quote from: ainiIf you omit about the first six thousand years of Jewish history, the first two thousand or so of Christianity and about the same for Islam, they look relatively peaceful. Of course, you omit a lot, but all things are possible with their gods.
may as well omit all of jewish history.
wtg do they teach you kids in school these days?
Quote from: horab.oneQuote from: ainiIf you omit about the first six thousand years of Jewish history, the first two thousand or so of Christianity and about the same for Islam, they look relatively peaceful. Of course, you omit a lot, but all things are possible with their gods.
may as well omit all of jewish history.
wtg do they teach you kids in school these days?
And christian history
and islamic history.
so you were saying who was peacefull where?
wowm, i hate to speak fo rhotsuma here, cuz i know it's his piece but
wow, way to pwn yourself n00b!
Quote from: horab.oneQuote from: ainiQuote from: Turd Fergusonwhy would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
If Hugh called this a crusade, I would have criticized the Christians, but he used an islamic term.
Jews have had their violent times, but if you omit the first few thousand years of thier existence, they seem rather peaceful. In fact, if you omit a few thousand years from the history of any religion, the religion seems rather peaceful.
you really know nothing of judaism do you?
and agent graves, i find myself agreeign with you more and more. wtf?
are world veiws are momentarily lining up nothing more.
as a Christian buddhist agent of Eris i assure you that we will be disagreeing before to long.
no sweat off my back. It's really only natural.
now back to the struggle... um.. jihad.
Quote from: ChaosGraves:AgentOfErisQuote from: horab.oneQuote from: ainiQuote from: Turd Fergusonwhy would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...
8)
geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...
If Hugh called this a crusade, I would have criticized the Christians, but he used an islamic term.
Jews have had their violent times, but if you omit the first few thousand years of thier existence, they seem rather peaceful. In fact, if you omit a few thousand years from the history of any religion, the religion seems rather peaceful.
you really know nothing of judaism do you?
and agent graves, i find myself agreeign with you more and more. wtf?
are world veiws are momentarily lining up nothing more.
as a Christian buddhist agent of Eris i assure you that we will be disagreeing before to long.
no sweat off my back. It's really only natural.
now back to the struggle... um.. jihad.
ok good. iw as starting to get worried man. geez lousie fucking her brother jjahosephat.
h0r4b,
j00 just don't get it...no religion has been peaceful.
just f--ing try to kill me.
Quote from: ainih0r4b,
j00 just don't get it...no religion has been peaceful.
you have never seen a practitioneer of the holy sacred religion.
the only way to be a member of the religion is to be peacful... if you are not peaceful then you are not a member... if a member acts in a non peaceful manner than they were never really a member.
I was never a member... and neither was the guy that started it.
but we are sure that a member exists some where just to prove the exception to the rule.
Quote from: horab.oneQuote from: ainiIf you omit about the first six thousand years of Jewish history, the first two thousand or so of Christianity and about the same for Islam, they look relatively peaceful. Of course, you omit a lot, but all things are possible with their gods.
may as well omit all of jewish history.
wtg do they teach you kids in school these days?
Since when did Jews get six thousand years of history, eh? I mean I know their calender is like at 5000 and some change, but that prives nothing. Especially since archaeological evidence has them in Israel no more than 3500 years ago.
aini, you have failed to address any real DJ issues. You have been warned.
Quote from: Hotsumasummary for those of use with no attention san. post haste.
"We're just pulling pranks. Get over youself."
Quote from: LMNOQuote from: Hotsumasummary for those of use with no attention san. post haste.
"We're just pulling pranks. Get over youself."
I thought we were pulling legs. Now we're pulling pranks? By all Bobs! Next thing you know we'll be pulling strings and naps from the carpet.
::Pulls the rug out from under various entities::
[entity]
Wheeeeee!
::thud::
[/entity]
Soylent GREEN is people!
The National Academy of Science today announced that, contrary to popular belief, Soylent Green is not people. "We don't know how this rumor got started," said Harold Shiznik of the Institute of Food. "Probably one of those internet rumors."
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Just a quick reminder to spend your Social Security by donating to NPR! We'll give you the news you want to hear to convince you that the enire nation thinks the same way you do! Hey, worked for all you McGovern & Mondale folk, right?
Quote from: DonkeyotaySoylent GREEN is people!
Mmmmm. Corpus Crispies are a treat!
In other news...
I'm a broke-ass chump!
Coming up next, on "All Things Considerably Boring," An NPR exclusive: The poster commonly known as "Z3" has turned out to be a Broke-Ass Chump. This, and more world news than you really want to hear, on "All Things Considerably Tedious".
But first, we'd like to offer you the chance to give up your hard-earned money to us, where we will mis-manage and abuse until the news becomes how bad we are with money. The sooner you contribute, the sooner we can spend the money on hookers and blow, so donate today!
hookers & blow?
sounds like I need to get me a job at NPR!
8)
Where does one sign up? No wait...
I can't do that.
*firebombs NPR's headquarters*
**fairy dusts the NSRA headquarters**
umm, was that aimed at Hugh? cuz he's not in the NSRA...not that we didn't offer, but he's too cool for us....
8)
edit: thanks for the fairy dust though...that shit got me a wicked buzz on....
::Stabs the remains of the NRSA headquarters::
you guys just don't get it...NSRA headquarters is nowhere in particular...it's wherever I and/or Nikoli happens to be at the moment...which makes it awfully hard to stab...which is good, 'cause I'm sick of having to buy new clothes every time you guys go on a stabbination spree...
8)
I'll join the NSRA, but only if you consider us NPLA and affiliates (including yourselves) as co-conspirators.
Quote from: Turd FergusonNew Soviet Red Army...if you hate your government, have no regard for laws or ethics, enjoy fucking shit up while retaining a healthy appreciation for subtlety, and want to be at the front of the line for plundering the world once we've conquered it, feel free to enlist.
just remember, deserters will be shot.
twice.
8)
Go on then, sign me up! I can never resist a good plunder
Yes, I know this was 3 pages back but I tend to forget where I post, so nyeh.
I HAVE ATE YOUR NEW SOVIET RED ARMY!
Thank-You For Wearing Pants!
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCI'll join the NSRA, but only if you consider us NPLA and affiliates (including yourselves) as co-conspirators.
consider it done...co-conspirators are always welcome, especially such accomplished conspirators as yourself...
8)
Quote from: Mighty Cthulu of R'ylehI HAVE ATE YOUR NEW SOVIET RED ARMY!
Thank-You For Wearing Pants!
Those pants were bloody well new too!
Quote from: ScribeQuote from: Mighty Cthulu of R'ylehI HAVE ATE YOUR NEW SOVIET RED ARMY!
Thank-You For Wearing Pants!
Those pants were bloody well new too!
*eats Cthulu*
*burps*
Sorry. Sometimes I get really hungry. I guess doom is postponed yet again. I apologize.