Give me your best discordian or non-discordian one-liners. The good ones will make it into the BIP2013 in the form of margin notes, crazy footnotes or some other form of general filler for the large empty white spaces. They don't necessarily have to be related to the BIP directly, but maybe keep it in mind, yeh?
And also, hi. How are you guys.
If you guys don't do this for me, I'm just gonna cut out clippings of poorly translated refrigerator instruction manuals and use those. Just a heads up.
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
Terry Pratchett
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Terry Pratchett
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Terry Pratchett
"A conclusion is just where you stopped thinking"
"A black sheep is still a sheep"
Mine:
Nothing is true, everything's on fire.
Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Kick a man IN THE NADS, you've made a friend for life.
Women SAY they'd like men to THINK a little more. But they don't, not really.
I am as likely to attain Nirvana as is Ernest Hemingway. Mankind was meant to struggle.
PILLS HERE!
Shit Roger has actually said in conversation, stripped of context:
1. I've seriously considered having my head lasered.
2. No, I'm pretty sure I don't have rabies, but thanks for asking.
3. Ask ECH. He's always given me good advice. In a Redman sort of way.
4. If you're going to wreck your motorcycle, at least be listening to Elvis while you're doing it.
5. You can't really understand Tucson until a hornet flies up the leg of your shorts and goes batshit.
One more from Pratchett:
"If you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you're going. And if you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong."
You'll find what you are looking for in the last place you didn't look.
"Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal."
― Neil Gaiman
"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."
― Neil Gaiman,
If you're going to be a dick, you should at least be right.
"But then I realized I was preaching to tiny monkeys in too small jackets and nobody can hear me over the sound of them grinding their own organs."
- A.P. O'Stacey
Attn: Faust.
Please give Dimo access to the memebomb database.
Ass-hats are their own sock puppets.
This is my cult leader uniform.
Me:
Ask a question, you will get an answer. This is your only warning.
If they knew what I was going to do with a language, they'd have never taught me one.
Talking religion, history has shown, is perfect for getting you burned, tortured, or nailed to things.
Yes I'm evil, but does that make me a bad person?
You blow your mother with that mouth?
I can only "make" someone do something if I am standing over them with a cattle prod, I'll ask them though.
100% exists only in textbooks or insufficiently large samples.
Until you've mastered the holes you were given at birth you shouldn't get more.
"He was born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad, and that was his only patrimony." - Rafael Sabbatini, in Scaramouche
SOME PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE SHEER FASCINATION OF DOING IT, said Death. OR FOR FAME. OR BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN'T.
– Terry Pratchet
Pretty much all of these:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1654.Terry_Pratchett (http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1654.Terry_Pratchett)
http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/583655-hogfather (http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/583655-hogfather)
Opinions are like assholes, AWESOME!
It doesn't have to be fun to be fun.
What more is there to life than almost falling out of a tree while you're having an orgasm?
Once you develop beyond the quest for orgasm, the intellect has a real chance to grow.
The way to a man's heart is through his ribcage
Has anyone mentioned this thread yet?
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,11054.0.html
"Pray diligently every day for the rest of your lif and you will come to know God" Or was it . . . .
"Pray diligently every day for the rest of your life, and you will come to no God"
"Build a man a fire, and you can keep him warm for a night. But SET a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life"
"You are already halfway to joining a "Clown School". Now all you need is a red nose, some silly shoes and someone who thinks you are funny"
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away. And you have their shoes"
"So it's OUR flat, OUR car, OUR money, but YOUR tits?"
Hey BadBeast. Good to see you again.
Blast from the past.