The mighty chains that bound Tucson were corroded with the smirk of GWB, the clueless hystrionics of Jan Brewer, and the smiling disregard of Barack Obama. It was bound to happen, sooner or later.
With a *SNAP* that sounded more like cannon going off, the chains parted. Tucson slowly rose, higher and higher. Emergency crews tried to re-weld the chains, but the wind kicked up, and we drifted away from our position. We slowly ascended, until eventually there was no air to breathe.
Not too many people noticed any of this, though some meth lab workers in Picacho were crushed under falling debris, cars, etc. As far as the air question, we were already used to that, so nobody was too surprised when everyone died, and only slightly more surprised when we all got back up and went to work.
The last information I received was that we had passed 6 miles in altitude, and were still climbing. We thought about that for a while, and then started heaving all the heavy shit over the side. We don't like You People much, and this has really been the answer to our prayers. Sure, it involved being dead, but that's hardly a change of pace, here.
So now we have the best view of the world you could imagine, as we drift along in the jetstream. We all eat lots of greens, and when we pass over your cities, we crowd the edge, not unlike penquins, and then we all shit over the side at once. It's honestly been the happiest time of our lives...We've been working on a speaker system capable of reaching the ground, so we can play The Cars That Go Boom at you groundlings 24/7.
I'll add more later. Right now, we're passing over Yorba Linda, and everyone's been holding it in for THIS one, so we're all walking around cross-legged.
Okay for Now,
The Good Doktor Roger
Where the hell do You People think you are?
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Holy crap ! :aaa:
Something's not right. Keep running. It's right behind us!
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(http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4841627370063248&pid=1.7)
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
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I actually like the concept and I'm hoping for a world tour. I'll even buy a shirt. :lulz:
What happened to the people who went to explore the hole that was left?
Quote from: Faust on April 15, 2013, 04:46:14 PM
What happened to the people who went to explore the hole that was left?
They asphyxiated on 11,000 years of coyote poop that had been disturbed. It was very sad. The follow up team, in special environment suits, found fossils of people...most of whom seemed to have been caught by whatever it was, while they watched television.
Father Knows Best, is what the lab boys say.
So they filled the pit in with gravel, and everyone pretended that Tucson never existed. It was the only way to save face, after all. We can't have the world knowing about this sort of shit. It looks
bad, and all the other world diplomats would laugh at John Kerry.
We went back, and only kept the cool shit.
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(http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4683765906735738&pid=1.7)
We don't need You People, anymore.
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That's horrible.
But :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
And what of the wierdos, where could they go if there was no Tuscon?
Quote from: Faust on April 15, 2013, 05:14:31 PM
And what of the wierdos, where could they go if there was no Tuscon?
That sounds like someone else's problem.
We're free. Free of you crawling homonids and your monkey ways. We're free of everything.
The sun is closer every day, but we know all about that.
No Icarus wax wings to melt, Tucson FLOATS.
And says "When you're here with us, you'll float, too"?
Quote from: stelz on April 15, 2013, 05:46:46 PM
No Icarus wax wings to melt, Tucson FLOATS.
And says "When you're here with us, you'll float, too"?
No. Hope floats. In the toilet.
Tucson is just loose, is all. It never wanted to be down there in the first place.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 15, 2013, 06:22:26 PM
Quote from: stelz on April 15, 2013, 05:46:46 PM
No Icarus wax wings to melt, Tucson FLOATS.
And says "When you're here with us, you'll float, too"?
No. Hope floats. In the toilet.
Tucson is just loose, is all. It never wanted to be down there in the first place.
I want that embroidered on some kind of cross stitch sampler and framed. :lol:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 15, 2013, 04:41:34 PM
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
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(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ac/Straitjacket-rear.jpg/800px-Straitjacket-rear.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uxwfohzuaE
Quote from: Richter on April 16, 2013, 02:25:49 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 15, 2013, 04:41:34 PM
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. I guess I didn't know.
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(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ac/Straitjacket-rear.jpg/800px-Straitjacket-rear.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uxwfohzuaE
Got it in one. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 15, 2013, 04:51:52 PM
Quote from: Faust on April 15, 2013, 04:46:14 PM
What happened to the people who went to explore the hole that was left?
They asphyxiated on 11,000 years of coyote poop that had been disturbed. It was very sad. The follow up team, in special environment suits, found fossils of people...most of whom seemed to have been caught by whatever it was, while they watched television. Father Knows Best, is what the lab boys say.
So they filled the pit in with gravel, and everyone pretended that Tucson never existed. It was the only way to save face, after all. We can't have the world knowing about this sort of shit. It looks bad, and all the other world diplomats would laugh at John Kerry.
Look up "blue holes" sometime. They're pits of water in the ocean (no shit), but the proper combination of depth and isolation from major currents renders the water in the lower depths devoid of any oxygen. Sort of like a deep cenote.
This sounds a lot like one of those. A dead zone of cultural icons or relevance. The place where bad ideas go to die. Take a random item everyone would have recognized ONCE. Like that fucking moon from the opening sequence of "The Honeymooners". After the series wraps it goes into a box, a closet, a storage unit, a spare pile... all the places where you put things you're not ready to throw out yet, but at first glance have no use for (sentiment vs. sediment). They eventually end up in one of these coyote shit "Brown Holes"
GO after one. Sure, why not? You might be able to pull out Marilyn Monroe or FDR's wheelchair. Just anyplace you step is going to kick up a cloud of poison powder, JUST like certain calibers of bat shit. Made sense we'd loose a city into one eventually...