Principia Discordia

It strikes me as impossible that this hasn't been discussed here before, but there's a website dedicated solely to stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm. (http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/karl.htm)  Even if it has been and has since drifted off the front page, it's too important to forget.  Roy and Jetta the terrapin are an inspiration to us all.

That's.... that's.... disturbing.

Oh my (literaly) god(dess)!

wow.


that's kinda creepy.


and really, really weird, to boot...

Yeah.  Ain't it beautiful?  It's things like this that continue to give me faith in the Internet.

I like the author's comments better than the stories. I mean, he's nitpicking the story someone else sent in about Roy in America....he says it would be "highly unlikely" that Roy would ever be in a place like Detroit. And he critiques the Antarctica story for having "no terrapins." Dude, you're a Norwegian male obsessed with wrapping a dead rock star in clingfilm....I don't think you've got the right to say what's *unlikely* anymore....
8)

What makes me want to meet this guy and shake his hand (after I put on gloves) is this bit:

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On the same subject, may I say that I received a couple of stories dealing with tinfoil-wrapping, which were deleted promptly. Tinfoil wrappers are degenerates and should be ashamed.

THAT is chutzpah.

Quote from: agent compassionI like the author's comments better than the stories. I mean, he's nitpicking the story someone else sent in about Roy in America....he says it would be "highly unlikely" that Roy would ever be in a place like Detroit. And he critiques the Antarctica story for having "no terrapins." Dude, you're a Norwegian male obsessed with wrapping a dead rock star in clingfilm....I don't think you've got the right to say what's *unlikely* anymore....
8)

whiskey tango foxtrot!
Reverend Rog is in my area?

there's a fetish for everything under the sun and in places where the sun doesn't shine.

Quote from: ainithere's a fetish for everything under the sun and in places where the sun doesn't shine.

And I thought that was just me... :shock:

Quote from: aini

Quote from: agent compassionI like the author's comments better than the stories. I mean, he's nitpicking the story someone else sent in about Roy in America....he says it would be "highly unlikely" that Roy would ever be in a place like Detroit. And he critiques the Antarctica story for having "no terrapins." Dude, you're a Norwegian male obsessed with wrapping a dead rock star in clingfilm....I don't think you've got the right to say what's *unlikely* anymore....
8)

whiskey tango foxtrot!
Reverend Rog is in my area?

Roy, not Rog...as in Roy Orbison...and no, he's not in your area...and Detroit isn't your area anyway...Ann Arbor doesn't count...

From where I live, if you fired a howitzer (range 18 miles), I think you could hit downtown detroit, which ought to be razed to the ground.

18 miles from downtown D = Novi

or maybe Bloomfield.

either way, you live in uber-richie oakland county...unless you live in Ypsi, shich I highly doubt, cuz then you'd think Detroit was an improvement...anyway...

Detroit is teh win!!

Aini should be razed!!

w00t!

8)

Is that your way of telling me you love me?

I'll leave that for you to figure out...

*razes aini to the ground*

8)

oh how sensuous...

we better get a room.

[passes aini some clingfilm]

Have fun, you lovebirds!

8)

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FREE COMPETITION: WIN MY HAND IN MARRIAGE
Internet? Information Superhighway? Bloody great knocking-shop more like.

Scarcely a day goes by without I hear of some marriage arranged or destroyed by the Web of Lust. The time has come for me to take advantage of this cybernetic meat-market. In fine, I am looking for a bride, and you, lucky surfer, may be eligible.

What's in it for you, I hear you ask? Well, a UK passport for one thing, still a highly desirable item for denizens of benighted quarters of the globe. But there are many other reasons why you might wish to marry me.

   * If you are a secret lesbian who needs a token husband to stop well-meaning relatives fixing you up with men, I WILL MARRY YOU. As long as I can watch you, you know, at it, or you describe it to me.
   * If you are a potential heiress who needs a pretend husband to satisfy a codicil in a will, I WILL MARRY YOU. As long as we can do it like, once, at least, or you describe what it would have been like.
   * If you are a rich, lonely old woman, I WILL MARRY YOU. As long as you're very rich and nearly dead, and you don't expect me to pretend to be George Formby or Andy Stewart or someone when we do it. Never again.
   * If you are a beautiful spy or drug courier needing a completely pliant husband for purposes of camouflage, I WILL MARRY YOU.
   * If you are a beautiful 'Black Widow' type serial killer, I WILL MARRY YOU, as long as you kill me after we have sex, not before or during. Or kill me with sex. Or an overdose of nice cakes or something. Something nice.

Or if you are a wicked step-parent or dodgy legal guardian of some dimwitted, but presentable, girl, and are looking to get shut of her for nefarious reasons of your own, I can take her off your hands, no questions asked.

This competition is open to all biological females between the ages of 12 and 83. To enter, simply send a short, concise essay explaining why I should marry you (or your retarded ward). Hint: if you choose to tell me why you want to marry me, keep it brief - if it's the passport you're after, for example, don't bang on about how much your government's persecuting you or whatever - concentrate on how you intend to make ME happy.

Spelling and punctuation will be taken into account. If you can't write or don't speak English, send a photograph of yourself and a picture of a cake you have baked recently.

8)

I almost married a lesbian once...we were next-door neighbors and (still are) really really good friends...we were both making decent $$$ at teh time, and figured out that it would save us something like $1000 a year each if we were married...but then she got a girlfriend...

Quote* If you are a rich, lonely old woman, I WILL MARRY YOU. As long as you're very rich and nearly dead, and you don't expect me to pretend to be George Formby or Andy Stewart or someone when we do it. Never again.

:shock: That last part scares me. But it's still damn funny.

Quote from: Bob the Mediocre

Quote* If you are a rich, lonely old woman, I WILL MARRY YOU. As long as you're very rich and nearly dead, and you don't expect me to pretend to be George Formby or Andy Stewart or someone when we do it. Never again.

:shock: That last part scares me. But it's still damn funny.

I don't see the problem.  I pretend to be Dr. Doom every time I have sex anyway, so this wouldn't be much of a stretch.

Yea! You're teh win!

No, baby.  YOU'RE the win.   :wink:

Llama Wishfart Rinpoche

Oh my.

I have seen everything. Now I can die happy.

Have you seen a house painted bright purple?

I sure have, Bob. In fact, it's across the street from me. It gives me nightmares.

Purple with bright white lace trim, a miniature gazebo with tiny attached fence, and honest-to-god lawn gnomes. And in my dreams, they're covered in blood.

We call it the mafia house, so I can still die happy, right after I find a cardboard cutout of Roy.

Or I could buy one (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=84&item=6143980785&rd=1) of these (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=84&item=6143980776&rd=1) and partake of the sacrament pepper from the poor-man's Elvis.

QuoteHave you seen a house painted bright purple?

Like this one?

(http://img131.exs.cx/img131/6683/kucinichouse1hh.jpg)

(http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/lachen/laughing-smiley-017.gif)

Quote from: Sinner Bob the MediocreHave you seen a house painted bright purple?

I grew up on a lake and there was a purple house.  And, it was on a point.  I doubt you could see it from the road, but you couldn't miss it from a boat.  I thought it was the greatest thing.  Of course at that age I also thought it was cool to chew 5 pieces of Bazooka bubble gum at once.  I also said man a lot.  

PS  It might be my montitor, but, AC that house looks blue. :roll:

Shh, eldora, be kind. You know that agent lost her eyes in that tragic naturallycurly.com explosion last fall. It's a wonder she can even post.

Wait, isn't that... the house that eats people?

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Shh, eldora, be kind. You know that agent lost her eyes in that tragic naturallycurly.com explosion last fall. It's a wonder she can even post.

Wait, isn't that... the house that eats people?

:cry:  Now you know my tragic secret....yes, it was the infamous "Uncrustables" fight...one of the newbies took out my precious orbs with a sharpened spork!!!!  :(

And no,  I think the house that eats people belongs to Peter Griffin from "Family Guy." Or maybe it just threatened people? I know it said "Bring me a toolshed for I am hungry."

:)

Quote from: HoshikoI sure have, Bob. In fact, it's across the street from me. It gives me nightmares.

Purple with bright white lace trim, a miniature gazebo with tiny attached fence, and honest-to-god lawn gnomes. And in my dreams, they're covered in blood.

We call it the mafia house, so I can still die happy, right after I find a cardboard cutout of Roy.

Across the street? I had to go on a long trip somewhere to see one. I have no idea where it is, but I remember it. I think it had pink shutters.