It might be cheesy, but I think this guy has it right: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/3-things-i-wish-i-knew-we-got-married
None of my marriages succeeded. I am shitty at choosing a mate, and ill-equipped to deal with the demands of marriage. But from the marriages I've seen succeed, I think this guy is spot-on. People talk about the "50/50" of a marriage, but that's not really how it works. The people I have seen succeed don't think of their marriage as divvied up into "my share" and "your share"; they each give 100% of what they have to give, and the marriage, in return, gives back.
I think he does. :)
*Warning, anecdotal* Looking at the old people I've known who got married and stayed married, I can't say that they all just stayed in something miserable or abusive because divorce was taboo. A lot of them seemed very content and attached to each other and I don't know how many times I've seen one die soon after the other because they just gave up without them. In fifty years time, you KNOW things are going to go sideways at some point, and I've heard stories of it coming from ONE of them, fucking around or blowing money or whatever. They stuck it out and fought for the marriage. Now people look at it like it's a job, like there's some kind of performance review.
For the record, I've never been married so I'm probably not one to talk. It's just an informal observation. I do like the article, though!
I love it. I think it is an excellent recipe for success. Assuming you are paired with someone that is worth giving that to..
If I were going to get married, that would be the way I would go about it. Or I would hope so, anyway. I like how he phrased it . . . "When I decided I'd rather not live without her . . . " If there was someone I didn't want to live without . . . yep. Haven't met that person or persons yet, though.