Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 28, 2013, 01:55:39 AM

Title: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 28, 2013, 01:55:39 AM
So, one of my favorite places in Portland is the Portland Memorial Mausoleum. This place is a fucking trip. It's eight haphazard and slightly decrepit stories of crypts built into a cliff overlooking a swamp, started in 1901 and just added onto willy-nilly to the present day. It's full of ramps and staircases and elevators that don't go to all the floors, as well as an awful lot of chapels and statuary and a very very large glass bowl fountain. The roof has been leaking for decades, the floor is uneven, every level has a different oddly distinct smell, and the bottom floor is only accessible via one terrifying elevator whose doors somehow manage to open with a loud bang.

Here it is from the front:

(http://www.wilhelmportlandmemorial.com/sitegallery/I1703233671_IMG_2326.jpg)

From the back:

(http://trailpedia.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Oaks-Bottom-5-Portland-Memorial-Mausoleum.jpg)

There is no rhyme or reason to the floor plan. It's like they just started building one day, and kept going at random. There are new cabinets for urns built into random corners alongside crypts that are a century old. It is insanely huge and rambling and there are nested mezzanines and there is a part built in the tens and a part built in the 1970's or 80's and parts from all the decades in between.

(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7098/7303111658_69ffe4896c_z.jpg)
(http://graveyards.com/OR/Multnomah/qi/portland-mausoleum.jpg)
(http://farm8.static.flickr.com/7229/7303112098_cb7cb4b135.jpg)


Just Google Image search it:
https://www.google.com/search?q=Portland+Memorial+Mausoleum&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=8f2jUYmtC-L5igKeg4DABA&biw=1160&bih=748&sei=YgCkUf3RNYHViwLdzICgAQ

I took a bunch of pictures today, I'll post them later.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Don Coyote on May 28, 2013, 02:02:10 AM
I love it when human-made stuff just makes no sense.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Richter on May 28, 2013, 02:17:29 AM
Nice.  Always been fascinated by places like that.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 28, 2013, 02:19:48 AM
It looks like a cool place to get lost in.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Suu on May 28, 2013, 03:01:46 AM
Oh wow. That is awesome!
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 28, 2013, 03:34:36 AM
A dead-people's version of the Winchester House? Sweet!
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Chucklemaster on May 28, 2013, 05:00:50 AM
>live in portland
>see this
I MUST GO. MY PEOPLE NEED ME.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 28, 2013, 06:51:13 AM
Quote from: Cainad on May 28, 2013, 03:34:36 AM
A dead-people's version of the Winchester House? Sweet!

Cainad said it before I could.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Left on May 28, 2013, 06:55:45 AM
Wow, that is neat.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 28, 2013, 07:41:22 AM
It is awesome and labyrinthine in a way nothing else I've seen has deserved the word. So many staircases. So many rooms and halls. The big hall pic above is one of countless... I think each level above level 2 has 6 or so of the big halls, all weirdly interconnected with small passages and stairs.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on May 28, 2013, 04:14:54 PM
Did you find the fabled electric Jesus?
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 28, 2013, 04:35:09 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on May 28, 2013, 04:14:54 PM
Did you find the fabled electric Jesus?

No, and it makes me think that whoever reported the existence of Electric Jesus may have eaten some paper before visiting.

There is a pretty fantastic 10-foot Jesus statue, but it's not psychedelic.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 28, 2013, 04:45:36 PM
There's actually a legend of an Electric Jesus in there?
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 04:46:06 PM
Maybe someone kicked out the plug, and he just looks like regular Jesus.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 28, 2013, 04:50:46 PM
Maybe it's a hobo.  :lol:
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2013, 12:58:38 AM
Quote from: stelz on May 28, 2013, 04:45:36 PM
There's actually a legend of an Electric Jesus in there?

Yep. It's supposed to look like one of these:
(http://samuelferrisharmon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jesus.jpg)

Only ginormous.

Hmmmm it occurs to me that it may be in the 70's portion of the mausoleum, and I kind of gave that part less attention than the older parts.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2013, 12:59:23 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 04:46:06 PM
Maybe someone kicked out the plug, and he just looks like regular Jesus.

This strikes me as being completely plausible.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 01:00:57 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 12:59:23 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 04:46:06 PM
Maybe someone kicked out the plug, and he just looks like regular Jesus.

This strikes me as being completely plausible.

It's just the sort of thing that happens to Jesus, come to think of it.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2013, 01:33:34 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 01:00:57 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 12:59:23 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 04:46:06 PM
Maybe someone kicked out the plug, and he just looks like regular Jesus.

This strikes me as being completely plausible.

It's just the sort of thing that happens to Jesus, come to think of it.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2013, 03:20:10 AM
My pics on Facebook (I'd post 'em here but there's 40+ pictures) https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.10152824723960062&type=1
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2013, 03:23:58 AM
One day, I would like to work my way through the place systematically, and take pictures of every significant crypt/room/hall/wing/statue. It would be hundreds and hundreds of pictures, though, as you can see if you check out this guy's photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151472498926347.1073741830.693031346&type=1

We were there on the same day, and he took pictures of a few of the same things, but for the most part there is very little overlap. The place is monstrous.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2013, 03:24:56 AM
He has pictures of things I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN. This gives me hope that Electric Jesus really exists!

Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2013, 04:17:47 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 30, 2013, 03:20:10 AM
My pics on Facebook (I'd post 'em here but there's 40+ pictures) https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.10152824723960062&type=1

That's kind of amazing.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2013, 05:24:56 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2013, 04:17:47 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 30, 2013, 03:20:10 AM
My pics on Facebook (I'd post 'em here but there's 40+ pictures) https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.10152824723960062&type=1

That's kind of amazing.

It is. It is an amazing place. When you come down we should try to get in, they say they aren't open to the public normally anymore but I have heard that they don't actually lock the doors. Also ECH says hi, and that he will totally come down when you visit if he can!
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2013, 05:25:51 AM
Also by "come down" I mean "up and over". I might have a few bourbons stored in my belly right now.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2013, 05:28:46 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 30, 2013, 05:24:56 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2013, 04:17:47 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 30, 2013, 03:20:10 AM
My pics on Facebook (I'd post 'em here but there's 40+ pictures) https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.10152824723960062&type=1

That's kind of amazing.

It is. It is an amazing place. When you come down we should try to get in, they say they aren't open to the public normally anymore but I have heard that they don't actually lock the doors. Also ECH says hi, and that he will totally come down when you visit if he can!

On it.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on May 30, 2013, 06:33:34 PM
That is really pretty and looks like an amazing place to explore.

Not that I'll likely be making it out to Portland in the near future, but when you say it's not really open to the public anymore, do you need special permission? Meant really for friends/family of the interred? Or, since they may not lock the doors, go and hope it's open? I can understand them wanting to restrict public access a bit to discourage vandals. Though from the pictures, everything looks pretty nice there. Unless people in Portland don't like to vandalize everything as much as they seem to over here.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2013, 06:44:51 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on May 30, 2013, 06:33:34 PM
That is really pretty and looks like an amazing place to explore.

Not that I'll likely be making it out to Portland in the near future, but when you say it's not really open to the public anymore, do you need special permission? Meant really for friends/family of the interred? Or, since they may not lock the doors, go and hope it's open? I can understand them wanting to restrict public access a bit to discourage vandals. Though from the pictures, everything looks pretty nice there. Unless people in Portland don't like to vandalize everything as much as they seem to over here.

From what I understand, both. They say that visitation is by appointment (it helps, in this case, to know the name of someone within, which can helpfully often be found in photographs), but I understand that they don't actually lock the doors, so you can stroll in anytime before 5pm, pretty much. Just remember to get out by 5 unless you want to spend the night.

People are surprisingly respectful here, in general. This is one of the things that leads people from back East to think that Portlanders are passive-aggressive. :lol: They see it as "pretending to like them when we really don't", we see it as "making polite conversation, don't infer from this that we're friends". This principle extends to property, as well.

Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Freeky on June 04, 2013, 10:07:48 PM
Dude, so cool!
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Trivial on June 05, 2013, 02:28:46 AM
I showed the pictures to my husband and now he wants to visit Portland.
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 05, 2013, 04:14:43 AM
Quote from: Mome Papess Trivial on June 05, 2013, 02:28:46 AM
I showed the pictures to my husband and now he wants to visit Portland.

DOOOO IIIIIT!
Title: Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum
Post by: Chucklemaster on June 10, 2013, 10:30:09 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 05, 2013, 04:14:43 AM
Quote from: Mome Papess Trivial on June 05, 2013, 02:28:46 AM
I showed the pictures to my husband and now he wants to visit Portland.

DOOOO IIIIIT!

YESSSSSS