I've got 50 contractors swarming all over the place. Gotta double production inside of 14 more days. Gotta jump, gotta find a few hundred amps somewhere. It's Apollo 13 up in this shit.
And LMNO says "FASTER!"
Driving through The City like an asshole, running down the alleys just for the sheer hell of it. Gotta force some of that air into these here lungs, gotta make like this ain't the City of the Dead.
And ECH says "LOUDER!"
Snarling at assholes around the cheap cigar planted in my face. Hitting that treadmill LIKE HELL. Trying to remember all the shit that needs fixing, gotta be ready when my son comes home in July, car needs an oil change, LOBB needs a chapter, and my boss is having some kind of weird breakdown.
And Nigel sings "I hate to tell you this, but I'm very, very happy, and I know that's not what you'd expect from me at all...Because I'm not the kind to smile and bow out gracefully, I always wanted to take it to the wall."
MY NAME IS DOKTOR HOWL. I HAVE A WIFE AND 1.5 CHILDREN. HOUSE IN ORO VALLEY. PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR.
And Stella says "At least you aren't in Texas."
This really isn't the future I was expecting. I didn't get my robot dancing girl or my flying SUV, but I DO have more computing power in my phone than existed when I was 8 years old. I regularly hold conversations with people thousands and thousands of miles away, but I don't have to talk to the neighbor.
And Queen Gogira observes "You just aren't right, jackass."
So I dance my little dance, to the horror of my colleagues, who yell and scream and threaten to call an exorcist. I dance because that's what Tom Waits would tell me to do, and he's always been a source of good advice for me, in the same manner that Redman is.
And Cain says "MOVE, SUCKA, MOVE!"
So what CAN I do? Move it, shake it, back on down to Drachmann Road, where shit like this is considered normal. As a great Discordian once said, "I might be hungry, but at least I'm not weird."
Okay in Perpetuity,
Dok
You're in a hell of a form this week, Dok.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 29, 2013, 05:43:42 PM
You're in a hell of a form this week, Dok.
Took my pill at 2AM instead of 8PM. My head is full of yogurht, and I'm up for
any program.
How's Mrs Howl taking all of this?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 29, 2013, 05:51:33 PM
How's Mrs Howl taking all of this?
Well, she thought the last of the cactus days were pretty funny, so I don't think this is going to piss her off or anything. She's not weird, but she digs the weird. It's not like she didn't know my wiring was out of code when she married me.
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face when shit like THIS is going on:
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/happy-your-starbucks-latte-who-gets-tip-6C10110181
Or this:
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/stocks-tumble-dow-sheds-150-worries-about-fed-stimulus-6C10109732
Managers suing for the right to swipe their employees' tips, and CEOs screaming that they aren't getting enough love from Uncle Sugar.
Now, how the fuck am I SUPPOSED to act?
They expect too much, keep squeezing, and start getting less. professional gland touchers know how to moderate this to maximize output.
The uncle samites only know how to squeeze, and squeeze. Like any closeted gasper they KNOW this works for them, but balk when it doesn't work for you.
It's called "efficiency measures" Richter, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 29, 2013, 08:18:40 PM
It's called "efficiency measures" Richter, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
Which is corporatese for...Serfdom?
It's basically "doing more for less".
You can get the job done in the required amount of time with 10 people?
MAKE IT 10% FASTER WITH 15% FEWER STAFF.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 29, 2013, 08:45:42 PM
It's basically "doing more for less".
You can get the job done in the required amount of time with 10 people?
MAKE IT 10% FASTER WITH 15% FEWER STAFF.
Yeah, I've seen that. I always add 26% to any projected costs, because I notice that this is the kneejerk reduction proposed by the folks upstairs.
Beats arguing about it...And if anything goes wrong, I can claim I was underfunded.
This job suits my malicious side.
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face.
Sorry to do a take on only part of a sentence, but straight faces are almost never useful.
I prefer your approach of laughing until you can't scream anymore.
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 08:58:15 PM
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face.
Sorry to do a take on only part of a sentence, but straight faces are almost never useful.
I prefer your approach of laughing until you can't scream anymore.
Depends. If the cops are looking for the wiseass, a smart face makes sense.
Or better yet, a horrified "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE" face.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:01:35 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 08:58:15 PM
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face.
Sorry to do a take on only part of a sentence, but straight faces are almost never useful.
I prefer your approach of laughing until you can't scream anymore.
Depends. If the cops are looking for the wiseass, a smart face makes sense.
Or better yet, a horrified "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE" face.
God damn you. Now I have to revise my outlook again. :lulz:
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 09:11:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:01:35 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 08:58:15 PM
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face.
Sorry to do a take on only part of a sentence, but straight faces are almost never useful.
I prefer your approach of laughing until you can't scream anymore.
Depends. If the cops are looking for the wiseass, a smart face makes sense.
Or better yet, a horrified "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE" face.
God damn you. Now I have to revise my outlook again. :lulz:
Me, too. For the rest of the day at work, EVERYTHING is an OUTRAGE. No matter how minor.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:12:17 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 09:11:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:01:35 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 08:58:15 PM
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face.
Sorry to do a take on only part of a sentence, but straight faces are almost never useful.
I prefer your approach of laughing until you can't scream anymore.
Depends. If the cops are looking for the wiseass, a smart face makes sense.
Or better yet, a horrified "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE" face.
God damn you. Now I have to revise my outlook again. :lulz:
Me, too. For the rest of the day at work, EVERYTHING is an OUTRAGE. No matter how minor.
Sometimes, not often, mind you, but sometimes, I wish I had a job where I could do that instead of get along with, and be friends with, my coworkers.
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 09:13:47 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:12:17 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 09:11:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:01:35 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 08:58:15 PM
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face.
Sorry to do a take on only part of a sentence, but straight faces are almost never useful.
I prefer your approach of laughing until you can't scream anymore.
Depends. If the cops are looking for the wiseass, a smart face makes sense.
Or better yet, a horrified "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE" face.
God damn you. Now I have to revise my outlook again. :lulz:
Me, too. For the rest of the day at work, EVERYTHING is an OUTRAGE. No matter how minor.
Sometimes, not often, mind you, but sometimes, I wish I had a job where I could do that instead of get along with, and be friends with, my coworkers.
I prefer it this way. I don't have to feel bad when my inner monkey gets loose and goes haywire.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:14:26 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 09:13:47 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:12:17 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 09:11:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:01:35 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on May 29, 2013, 08:58:15 PM
And I can hardly be expected to keep a straight face.
Sorry to do a take on only part of a sentence, but straight faces are almost never useful.
I prefer your approach of laughing until you can't scream anymore.
Depends. If the cops are looking for the wiseass, a smart face makes sense.
Or better yet, a horrified "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE" face.
God damn you. Now I have to revise my outlook again. :lulz:
Me, too. For the rest of the day at work, EVERYTHING is an OUTRAGE. No matter how minor.
Sometimes, not often, mind you, but sometimes, I wish I had a job where I could do that instead of get along with, and be friends with, my coworkers.
I prefer it this way. I don't have to feel bad when my inner monkey gets loose and goes haywire.
This is the other American Dream. To have a job that lets you expose your inner monkey and not get spanked when it throws feces everywhere.
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
I am watching it all spiraling and clinging to the one thing I ever wanted from civilization.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
YES
YES
YES I DO
:eek::fap: :?
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:55:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:48:21 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
YES
YES
YES I DO
:eek::fap: :?
:thanks:
My fabulousness requirements have been met for at least the next week.
Gonna put that on loop into the shop, I think. Those guys need it.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:58:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:55:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:48:21 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
YES
YES
YES I DO
:eek::fap: :?
:thanks:
My fabulousness requirements have been met for at least the next week.
Gonna put that on loop into the shop, I think. Those guys need it.
You are a benevolent and generous boss!
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 10:01:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:58:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:55:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:48:21 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
YES
YES
YES I DO
:eek::fap: :?
:thanks:
My fabulousness requirements have been met for at least the next week.
Gonna put that on loop into the shop, I think. Those guys need it.
You are a benevolent and generous boss!
Well, that's one interpretation... :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 10:01:24 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 10:01:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:58:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:55:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:48:21 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
YES
YES
YES I DO
:eek::fap: :?
:thanks:
My fabulousness requirements have been met for at least the next week.
Gonna put that on loop into the shop, I think. Those guys need it.
You are a benevolent and generous boss!
Well, that's one interpretation... :lulz:
It's my
favorite interpretation. :lol:
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 10:04:34 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 10:01:24 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 10:01:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:58:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:55:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2013, 09:48:21 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
YES
YES
YES I DO
:eek::fap: :?
:thanks:
My fabulousness requirements have been met for at least the next week.
Gonna put that on loop into the shop, I think. Those guys need it.
You are a benevolent and generous boss!
Well, that's one interpretation... :lulz:
It's my favorite interpretation. :lol:
O.o :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
Oh. My God. :fap:
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
Fact: I watch this at the beginning of each and every work day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b3IEmvM3l0&feature=c4-overview&list=UUSjmQCzZJyqCpTXwZqeJDMQ
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2013, 06:06:17 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 29, 2013, 09:44:24 PM
DOK NEEDS MORE OF THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8WoyPEVRFo
Fact: I watch this at the beginning of each and every work day.
This makes me VERY happy.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 03, 2013, 09:20:35 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b3IEmvM3l0&feature=c4-overview&list=UUSjmQCzZJyqCpTXwZqeJDMQ
Have you seen the original Gem Sweater? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypn436DFTUQ
Leslie Hall fucking rocks my world. Years and years ago she had this website that was... I don't even know. Amazing. It was amazing.
Oh here we go. http://www.lesliehall.com/gemsweater/gallery/gallery1.htm
It doesn't have the thing it used to do, where it would slideshow them all for you REALLY FAST.
I was not informed of Leslie Hall...
She is AWESOME!
She's going to be performing in Iowa in August. This might be a good time to visit my BFF. :P
Yeah, she is totally the cat's meow. She's one of my heroes.
Quote from: LMNO on May 29, 2013, 08:45:42 PM
It's basically "doing more for less".
You can get the job done in the required amount of time with 10 people?
MAKE IT 10% FASTER WITH 15% FEWER STAFF.
This has been bothering me for 6 years, and I finally realized what it was that was bothering me.
One employee has to have his legs cut off.
We all have to make sacrifices. I gave up my monthly bonus, someone loses a leg...
Both legs, Cain. Both.
They didn't let him keep the other one, even though it wasn't supposed to be removed in the first place. Regulations on the disposal of human remains, you know, and audit team was making murmurings in the direction of the supervisory team, so we just have to grin and bear it.
Meanwhile, I've been audited six times and the rat bastards only checked my best moments. Here I am smelling like a rotting chicken carcass in a desert, raving about stocks I don't have, cussing out the ghost of Reagan on a recorded line, and audit doesn't even have the decency to be around to freeze up in aghast horror at it.
You'd think they were scared. And still, they took both his fucking legs. That's just how we run things here.