So I'm eight years old again, and my Grandfather (The Terrible Old Man) is driving. We're going from Hamilton, Ontario, to his cottage near Hillsboro, near Toronto. I'm not too happy about this, because the cottage means chores, and chores for an eight year old mean pulling weeds.
We're the only car on the road, and as we pass burned-out buildings and the odd human skeleton on the sidewalk, I ask my grandfather where all the people went.
"They're underground, kid."
"What, in the sewers?"
"No."
We drive on a little more. We pass a tire reclamation yard, only it isn't tires that are stacked up. No.
"I thought everyone was underground."
"The lucky ones are."
"What's going on, grandpa?"
"Well, it's simple, kid. The old God left, abandoned us. Didn't answer our prayers. He didn't give us the things we wanted, the hate we wanted, the ability to imprison or kill or just crap all over people with him on our side. So we made our own Gods. And those Gods do this", he said, indicating the stacks of bodies in the tire yard, "But only to the poor."
"That's not fair."
"Life's not fair. They gave us a rich man's God, and we bought it. You bought it."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did", said my old senior drill sergeant, from the back seat, "You went out of your way to worship these Gods."
"But I'm only eight years old."
They both laughed at me. So did the emaciated corpse in the other back seat, a low rasping chuckle.
"No, you aren't. You're 44 years old, and you're trying to hide in your memories.", Grandpa said, sneering at me. That sneer hurt.
"But we aren't going to put up with that sort of undisciplined behavior", added the drill sergeant.
"No, we certainly are not", replied my grandfather, "I may tolerate a lot of things, but I will not tolerate lying. Not even if you're just lying to your self. You've been worshiping these new Gods your entire adult life, and I taught you better."
"What new Gods? I don't understand."
"You're lying again. Drill sergeant, would you kindly remind my grandson?"
"Happy to, sir.", the drill sergeant said, leering at me. He then grabbed the emaciated corpse beside him and shoved it up between the seats, face up. Its head was in my lap, and it was staring at me with dead eyes. "There you are, you little shit. There's your new Gods. The starvelings of the world, given unto you by your masters to feed upon, to get your cheap shit from, to get your cheap food from. This is your legacy. This is all you are."
They all started laughing, even the corpse, which made a thin whistling noise. Then it grabbed the door handle and opened the door, then started pushing me out.
"Help me, Grandpa!"
"I did help you, you piece of snot. I taught you right from wrong. You didn't listen. Now, get out", he said, as he shoved me, hard.
The corpse and I tumbled out of the car, which quickly drove out of sight in the sulpherous fog. I sat up, then got to my feet.
Just in time to see my new Gods, circled around me. They looked hungry...And angry.
Sweet merciful fuck. :eek:
Wish I had real commentary to offer but, damn.
I...
...
well, fuck.
Your head is a very dangerous place, Dok.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) link=topic=35066.msg1281096#msg1281096
Your head is a very dangerous place, Dok.
It just needs more bludgeoning.
I....
I got nothing. :eek:
I.....
Fuck.....
Wow.
This is where vindaloo and bipedalism get you. :horrormirth:
Sweet jesus!
Roger, I'm pretty sure you just broke everyone who read this.
This, perhaps, could be considered an epic victory.
Or, a firehose of TRUTH.
Holy shit.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 27, 2013, 03:39:32 AM
Roger, I'm pretty sure you just broke everyone who read this.
This, perhaps, could be considered an epic victory.
Or, a firehose of TRUTH.
This is my head. Where I live.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2013, 04:27:34 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 27, 2013, 03:39:32 AM
Roger, I'm pretty sure you just broke everyone who read this.
This, perhaps, could be considered an epic victory.
Or, a firehose of TRUTH.
This is my head. Where I live.
... :eek:
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 27, 2013, 04:38:26 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2013, 04:27:34 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 27, 2013, 03:39:32 AM
Roger, I'm pretty sure you just broke everyone who read this.
This, perhaps, could be considered an epic victory.
Or, a firehose of TRUTH.
This is my head. Where I live.
... :eek:
I'm not well. :lol:
Dok,
Head full of angry bees.
Oh, is THAT where they all went?
....................... :ahhh:
I imagine an alternate version of Inception where they try to go into Dok's head. Movie lasts about 15 minutes with the entire investigation crew dead or unplugging and running away.
Quote from: McGrupp on July 27, 2013, 09:43:21 PM
I imagine an alternate version of Inception where they try to go into Dok's head. Movie lasts about 15 minutes with the entire investigation crew dead or unplugging and running away.
They wouldn't realize they were in there. And then they would. And then the Terrible Old Man would show up riding a Nessie and Explain All the Things. They would cry themselves to death with tears of blood inside five minutes.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2013, 04:39:31 AM
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 27, 2013, 04:38:26 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2013, 04:27:34 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 27, 2013, 03:39:32 AM
Roger, I'm pretty sure you just broke everyone who read this.
This, perhaps, could be considered an epic victory.
Or, a firehose of TRUTH.
This is my head. Where I live.
... :eek:
I'm not well. :lol:
Dok,
Head full of angry bees.
"Angry bees" actually sums up this century pretty well.
That was fucking epic! and also it was win. Not so much marching on a road of bones as sleeping on a bed of them.