Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
The chimp: It gets the fruit, and gets to smash something.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Follow with a bottle of tequila and a camera.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
Let you get out alive.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
Throw up in the gutter.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Nookie.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
Death at the soonest.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Kill yourself.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Cannon fodder.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Drop trou and grin.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
Invent a rocket-powered lemon gun.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
I would hope to be the smartest primate in the room. I'm watching them fight for food and am not joining in so I can assume I've been fed by my benevolent captor.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Nothing. This does not sound like my concern.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't ever forget your phone number. They will drunk dial it. They will insist that you are Teddy and they want you back. They will refuse to believe otherwise and say they are coming round. They will come round. God knows where they go but they will call you back to bitch about not answering the damn door.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, You're in Rome.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Depends on Success, PR and media links.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
Never. Grudges, like cheese, increase in potency with time.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Global domination under my glorious peaceful regime of equality and total fairness. Trust me, you want me in charge. It's best for everyone. As this is unlikely to occur, I'll consider the lack of it an overall indirect victory for democracy.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Ballast.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Assume it's bullshit and wait to find out why and how much. Every. Fucking. Time. Kony anyone? Fuck your causes and beliefs, tell me what you're THINKING.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, Fuck that guy. Seriously. Lemons. Natures piss. You see these people who put lemon slices in fucking everything? Scum. These cretins drove COKE LEMON into the world. You know Coke Lemon. It's the only thing left in the vending machine when you're dying for a drink of something NICE and all that's there is a sulky bottle of coke lemon, leering at you, like a turd covered in condensation mocking your lack of choice. "It's me or that public toilet over there. Mind the crackheads, hope you've got a stab vest on eh?". Fucking lemons. Take your lemon and shove it up your arse. Sideways.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
IT BETTER BE ME.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Call my dealer and thank her.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
Know about my tomahawk.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
Find the restaurants the locals eat at.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
A lifetime of petty bureaucracy.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
When I forget that I'm holding it, so roughly 4-6 weeks.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
TAKE IT TO THE WALL.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Kindling.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Mock them endlessly.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
put them in your whiskey soda.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
The bonobo is more intelligent but the chimp had more fun.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Make sure I have a video camera.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
get out of the psychward much. Because they're psychotic.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
Reenact the assassination of Julius Caesar in a restaurant.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Immortality.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
I try not to hold grudges.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Kill yourself
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Depends on what brand you're using.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Tell them all about mine simultaneously, trying to rob them of the attention they want.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
Throw it at his big beardy head.
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
Spider monkey is the smartest for it shall wait until the others get the fruit, and kill them for it.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
I eat shit, and bark at the moon and join him.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
say "NO" if you know what I mean and I think you do.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
Remind everyone Greece is superior.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
To be eaten by the poor
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
It never expires that's why it's a grudge
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Never be a Anarchist
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
A measuring unit for finding "ROCK BOTTOM".
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
TELL THEM TO SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
Beat God with them til you get a fucking beer!
By the way, to those who haven't responded, you don't actually have to post your answers. Nobody has to know. Except you. You'll know, and you will never be able to UN-know. You can only spend the rest of your life trying to forget.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
Bonobo, no glass in his food.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Find tranq darts. Go to walmart. I'm figuring a predator will be attracted by all the easy (fat) prey.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't stop being crazy.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, Do what the Romans DID, not as they do.
5. What is the fate of tyrants? The same as everyone else, except they got to spend their life doing anything they wanted.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when? The heat death of the universe, or the Grudge being forgotten because you have DEALT WITH IT.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what? Different.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what? Fertilizer, everyone is happy.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...? :kingmeh:
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, Don't eat them Epicurus might have been right.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
the chimp. It gets food and a weapon.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
get drunk. Join him. Take pictures.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
psychotic ex-girlfriends don't ever disappear, and will always be there, knife in hand.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
when in Rome, DRUGS! ORGIES! BOOZE!
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
sex
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
NEVER
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Shout a lot, get drunk, celebrate Saturday Night. Kick assholes in the nads.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
car polish
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
agree profusely with everything they say, then laugh maniacally and smash beer glass over my own head.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
When God gives you lemons, God should beg forgiveness.
posted before reading anyone else answers. For fear of plagiarism and/or performance anxiety :eek:
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
Me.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
:drama1:
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
seem like that when you first meet them but there are usually signs that will become obvious some time after she's lobbed all your worldly possessions on a bonfire on the front lawn
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
Get drunk and fuck shit up.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
A management position
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
no such thing
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Get drunk and fuck shit up
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Nope, can't think of any
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Mock them until the veins in their neck start ding that funny, sticky-outy thing
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
he's just being a dick, ignore him, he hates that
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
Why the hell am I IN the chamber with these damn apes?
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Follow him to watch the fun and piss on squad cars.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
Sugar coat shit.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
Don't order the fish
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Tracksuits and bad hair
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
Equal to the expiration date of the grudge holder.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
SHUT UP.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Keeping the Proselytizers off my ass.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Start singing showtunes or "Queen" at the top of my lungs.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
ME
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Set angsty teenager traps.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
eat bacon.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
do Romans.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Death, just like everyone else.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
I've forgotten who the hell that person is.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Fuck off and get over yourself.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Schadenfreude
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Ignore them
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
start spouting Portal 2 quotes nonstop.
I'm enjoying how certain answers seem to be lining up.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
Trick question. There's no such thing as an intelligent primate.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Ignore him. Probably just a hipster.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
get into it like they used to back in the day.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
Wear clean underwear
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Tyranny
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
Depends on the venue.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Read a God-damned book every once in a while.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Gear grease.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
...... I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listening.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
You find a new God
Quote from: Surprise Happy Endings Whether You Want Them Or Not on August 27, 2013, 09:24:49 PM
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
Know about my tomahawk.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
It's a tie between me and the bonobo for reasons which have nothing whatsoever to do with fruit bottles.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Wait 5 or 10 minutes then follow behind him with a shopping cart full of bandages, painkillers, and fix-a-flat. I know an opportunity when I see one.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
actually know my real name.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
steal some old paintings.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
The same as everyone else's, ultimately.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
When I fucking say so.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Shave and a haircut, but it ain't happening.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Kindling.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
I have perfected a facial expression that ensures that this never actually happens.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
Find a new God.
Didn't look at any answers before I did mine:
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
The bonobo. I didn't even get any fruit out of this bullshit.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Stay the fuck out of town.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
mess with me.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
eat a shit-ton of pasta and desserts.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Death.
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
Never.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Try not to be a goddamn moron.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Paperweight.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Laugh.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
YOU GET A NEW GOD.
GRADE YOURSELF:
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
I'd hope you are.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
Join him.
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.
Wear underwear
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, __________________.
SHUT UP!
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
To rule over dumbasses
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
The heat death of the universe.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Kill The Good Reverend Roger if you ever get the chance.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Ballast
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Join them to death.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, _______________.
Get a new God.
SCORE: For each correct answer, give yourself a point. Close enough is good enough. If you came reasonably close, give yourself a half point.
Less than 1: You are a well-adjusted member of society.
1-2: Seek help immediately.
3-6: It's too late. Just go ahead and start monstering teabaggers until the bourbon runs out.
7-9: You must come to Tucson to complete your training.
10: One of us must die so the other may live.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?: Me.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do? "Grampa, is that you?"
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't have jars of human teeth under the sink.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, look fucking fabulous. (Okay, that's more of a Suuism.)
5. What is the fate of tyrants?: President
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when? The other person dies.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what? Point and laugh.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what? Toilet paper.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...? Feign empathy until you can insert a ball breaker.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD.
I gave myself 5 out of 10.
I'm okay with this assessment.
4 out of 10. I SUCK AT TGRR'ING :cry:
Quote from: Suu on August 28, 2013, 02:51:23 PM
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?: Me.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do? "Grampa, is that you?"
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't have jars of human teeth under the sink.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, look fucking fabulous. (Okay, that's more of a Suuism.)
5. What is the fate of tyrants?: President
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when? The other person dies.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what? Point and laugh.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what? Toilet paper.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...? Feign empathy until you can insert a ball breaker.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD.
I gave myself 5 out of 10.
I'm okay with this assessment.
TEST INVALID.
3??? 3???
I continue to be the nicest guy on PD. Dammit.
I'm the worst TGRR ever.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2013, 02:55:07 PM
Quote from: Suu on August 28, 2013, 02:51:23 PM
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?: Me.
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do? "Grampa, is that you?"
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't have jars of human teeth under the sink.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, look fucking fabulous. (Okay, that's more of a Suuism.)
5. What is the fate of tyrants?: President
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when? The other person dies.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what? Point and laugh.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what? Toilet paper.
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...? Feign empathy until you can insert a ball breaker.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD.
I gave myself 5 out of 10.
I'm okay with this assessment.
TEST INVALID.
Hey now, I didn't see the damn thread til this morning! I made sure I did NOT look at the answers until I was done taking it.
Fine, I want a makeup exam! :argh!:
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 28, 2013, 02:52:48 PM
4 out of 10. I SUCK AT TGRR'ING :cry:
SEE SCORING SYSTEM, GET BOURBON.
We have no teabaggers here :crankey:
However, if I drink bourbon, members of the public are usually affected by the results, often irrevocably. Can we have a ruling on non-teabaggers?
Can you go after the EDL?
2-3? Fuck
1
-
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 28, 2013, 03:41:35 PM
Can you go after the EDL?
Well lets consider it. They're english, right? And they're all about defending england...
I sense a crazed scotsman, hopped up on jack, in their immediate future
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2476659968/hB6AF7D34/)
I got a 1 out of 10, which is probably why we get along so well. Too many TGRR's spoil the soup and set the kitchen on fire and are banished in shame and hunger from ever using it again.
Quote from: Surprise Happy Endings Whether You Want Them Or Not on August 28, 2013, 04:10:40 PM
I got a 1 out of 10, which is probably why we get along so well. Too many TGRR's spoil the soup and set the kitchen on fire and are banished in shame and hunger from ever using it again.
IT WAS ONLY TWICE WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SMACKING ME WITH THAT GODDAMMIT IT'S NOT MY FAULT
:crankey:
Note that getting answers "wrong" doesn't mean you are in fact wrong, it means that in that respect, you are not TGRR, you're something different.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2013, 04:49:50 PM
Quote from: Surprise Happy Endings Whether You Want Them Or Not on August 28, 2013, 04:10:40 PM
I got a 1 out of 10, which is probably why we get along so well. Too many TGRR's spoil the soup and set the kitchen on fire and are banished in shame and hunger from ever using it again.
IT WAS ONLY TWICE WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SMACKING ME WITH THAT GODDAMMIT IT'S NOT MY FAULT
:crankey:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Y'know what they say - "Set fire to my kitchen once, shame on the kitchen..."
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 28, 2013, 05:33:54 PM
Y'know what they say - "Set fire to my kitchen once, shame on the kitchen..."
Look, you bastards: I just finally managed to eject an auditor from my poop chute. The office building transformer (literally) exploded this morning, Tunnel Kiln #1 drive system ate itself, Mike is poking around that Goddamn ball mill again with a silly look
1 on his face, all the dogs are wearing gas masks, Lilly's in charge again, and my maintenance software just generated 70 copies of EACH of next month's preventative maintenance work orders, ALL OF WHICH HAVE TO BE DELETED BY HAND, which should only take me
2 A WEEK OR SO.
SO I CANNOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO BAD INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE INTERBUTTS. YOU PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO PUT USEFUL INFORMATION THERE.
1 The sort of slap-happy look a person wears, right as he puts his junk in a meat grinder.
2 Well, not
me. I have people for that. Everyone should have people.
SO. MUCH. FUN.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 28, 2013, 07:07:25 PM
SO. MUCH. FUN.
It is exactly as advertized on the label. :banana:
My new guy is a freak.
(Started reading until P3nt's idea of post first/read later, and came back to answer)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 27, 2013, 08:50:33 PM
Answers and grading scale tomorrow.
1. You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle. The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out. The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out. The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit. Which primate is the most intelligent?
Me, up until I gave those monkeys that fruit. It could have been mine!
2. You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon. He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage. Quick, what do you do?
It's about time he caught up with me!
3. Complete the following sentence: Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't bring all the boys to the yard.
4. Complete the following sentence: When in Rome, take only pictures of the hotel room and the meals you are eating and post them on Facebook.
5. What is the fate of tyrants?
Who is Ty Rant? Did he get kicked off of one of those reality shows?
6. The expiration date on a grudge is when?
Depends on if you remembered to put it in the fridge. Though in actuality, it tends to peter out pretty quickly. In serious cases, it may be a forgive, but not necessarily forget.
7. The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?
Laugh at everything, even myself, then go see where the fun is at. Also, learn better responses to quizzes.
8. The proper use for a Pagan is what?
Put them in a room with other Pagans to find out who the most really-really Pagan is
9. When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?
Listen momentarily with interest, then try not to laugh, then show them why it's silly, even if it's something you may be inclined to agree with.
10. Complete the following sentence: When God gives you lemons, put them in a bottle and hand it to a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimpanzee. In the chance the monkeys have already eaten each other, has anyone invented Bud Light lemon yet?
Trippinprincess WINS THE FUCKING INTERNET for answer #10.
:lulz:
:lol: I couldn't help myself.
Think I got about a 2/10.
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on August 28, 2013, 08:54:21 PM
:lol: I couldn't help myself.
Think I got about a 2/10.
NIGEL CAN RECOMMEND A SHRINK.
I AM GIVING MYSELF ELEVEN OUT OF TEN.
THE EXTRA POINT IS FOR DEMANDING MY PERFECT SCORE AND TELLING DETRACTORS TO FUCK OFF.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on August 28, 2013, 09:26:26 PM
I AM GIVING MYSELF ELEVEN OUT OF TEN.
THE EXTRA POINT IS FOR DEMANDING MY PERFECT SCORE AND TELLING DETRACTORS TO FUCK OFF.
Congratulations! You are the skinniest kid at fat camp!
Had I taken the test on time, I would have only gotten 1 point, but it would have been for #9. I feel satisfied with this.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2013, 08:34:24 PM
Trippinprincess WINS THE FUCKING INTERNET for answer #10.
:lulz:
:lulz: Yep. No topping that.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2013, 06:52:36 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 28, 2013, 05:33:54 PM
Y'know what they say - "Set fire to my kitchen once, shame on the kitchen..."
Look, you bastards: I just finally managed to eject an auditor from my poop chute. The office building transformer (literally) exploded this morning, Tunnel Kiln #1 drive system ate itself, Mike is poking around that Goddamn ball mill again with a silly look1 on his face, all the dogs are wearing gas masks, Lilly's in charge again, and my maintenance software just generated 70 copies of EACH of next month's preventative maintenance work orders, ALL OF WHICH HAVE TO BE DELETED BY HAND, which should only take me2 A WEEK OR SO.
SO I CANNOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO BAD INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE INTERBUTTS. YOU PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO PUT USEFUL INFORMATION THERE.
1 The sort of slap-happy look a person wears, right as he puts his junk in a meat grinder.
2 Well, not me. I have people for that. Everyone should have people.
IT'S TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
WHAT IT IS TRYING TO TELL YOU IS THAT TUCSON IS UNINHABITABLE.
I score myself a 5.5
I was going for zero, so this concerns me a bit. I have enough things on my plate without worrying about being TGRRish.
Quote from: Balls Wellington on August 29, 2013, 12:30:58 AM
I score myself a 5.5
I was going for zero, so this concerns me a bit. I have enough things on my plate without worrying about being TGRRish.
IT'S AWESOME YOU CAN HAVE A GUN IF YOU WANT
Quote from: Surprise Happy Endings Whether You Want Them Or Not on August 28, 2013, 11:43:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2013, 06:52:36 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 28, 2013, 05:33:54 PM
Y'know what they say - "Set fire to my kitchen once, shame on the kitchen..."
Look, you bastards: I just finally managed to eject an auditor from my poop chute. The office building transformer (literally) exploded this morning, Tunnel Kiln #1 drive system ate itself, Mike is poking around that Goddamn ball mill again with a silly look1 on his face, all the dogs are wearing gas masks, Lilly's in charge again, and my maintenance software just generated 70 copies of EACH of next month's preventative maintenance work orders, ALL OF WHICH HAVE TO BE DELETED BY HAND, which should only take me2 A WEEK OR SO.
SO I CANNOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO BAD INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE INTERBUTTS. YOU PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO PUT USEFUL INFORMATION THERE.
1 The sort of slap-happy look a person wears, right as he puts his junk in a meat grinder.
2 Well, not me. I have people for that. Everyone should have people.
IT'S TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
WHAT IT IS TRYING TO TELL YOU IS THAT TUCSON IS UNINHABITABLE.
It's the junkyard.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 29, 2013, 02:31:42 AM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on August 29, 2013, 12:30:58 AM
I score myself a 5.5
I was going for zero, so this concerns me a bit. I have enough things on my plate without worrying about being TGRRish.
IT'S AWESOME YOU CAN HAVE A GUN IF YOU WANT
I already have one. See? VERY CONCERNED.
Quote from: Balls Wellington on August 29, 2013, 03:05:56 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 29, 2013, 02:31:42 AM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on August 29, 2013, 12:30:58 AM
I score myself a 5.5
I was going for zero, so this concerns me a bit. I have enough things on my plate without worrying about being TGRRish.
IT'S AWESOME YOU CAN HAVE A GUN IF YOU WANT
I already have one. See? VERY CONCERNED.
All the butt hair you can huff.
I gots a 0. Man.
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 29, 2013, 03:23:55 AM
I gots a 0. Man.
Your head needs more broken glass and bats with rockets up their asses and shit.
Could be. :lol:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 29, 2013, 03:24:33 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 29, 2013, 03:23:55 AM
I gots a 0. Man.
Your head needs more broken glass and bats with rockets up their asses and shit.
Well, what do Nigel and I get for meds then? (LMNO and Waffles get smaller dose).
Quote from: Aloha Ackbar on August 29, 2013, 04:06:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 29, 2013, 03:24:33 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 29, 2013, 03:23:55 AM
I gots a 0. Man.
Your head needs more broken glass and bats with rockets up their asses and shit.
Well, what do Nigel and I get for meds then? (LMNO and Waffles get smaller dose).
(http://www.wanttoteach.com/Tucson.jpg)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 29, 2013, 04:31:25 AM
Quote from: Aloha Ackbar on August 29, 2013, 04:06:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 29, 2013, 03:24:33 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 29, 2013, 03:23:55 AM
I gots a 0. Man.
Your head needs more broken glass and bats with rockets up their asses and shit.
Well, what do Nigel and I get for meds then? (LMNO and Waffles get smaller dose).
(http://www.wanttoteach.com/Tucson.jpg)
I am missing something essential here.
That's Tucson.
A very small part of it.
It goes on forever. It's a drug. It's my special drug.
OH, THE GLORY!
I have some kind of feeling in my stomach when I look at it.
I saw that picture and instantly longed to be there. Before knowing where there was.
Now knowing that it's Tucson I wonder if the longing was for the scenery (as I initially thought, I mean those mountains in the background are wonderful) or some strange command to visit...
Quote from: Sita on August 29, 2013, 02:47:31 PM
I saw that picture and instantly longed to be there. Before knowing where there was.
Now knowing that it's Tucson I wonder if the longing was for the scenery (as I initially thought, I mean those mountains in the background are wonderful) or some strange command to visit...
It's the gravitational attraction.
I think I come somewhere between a five and a six but the roommate says I'm at least a seven, possibly an eight. She also says we are some sick, sick bastards. I honestly do not know what prompted that last comment.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 31, 2013, 12:03:36 AM
I think I come somewhere between a five and a six but the roommate says I'm at least a seven, possibly an eight. She also says we are some sick, sick bastards. I honestly do not know what prompted that last comment.
:lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 31, 2013, 12:03:36 AM
I think I come somewhere between a five and a six but the roommate says I'm at least a seven, possibly an eight. She also says we are some sick, sick bastards. I honestly do not know what prompted that last comment.
Roomie should take the test.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 31, 2013, 05:32:07 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 31, 2013, 12:03:36 AM
I think I come somewhere between a five and a six but the roommate says I'm at least a seven, possibly an eight. She also says we are some sick, sick bastards. I honestly do not know what prompted that last comment.
Roomie should take the test.
She is pure lily white innocence. She would get something like a -15. I will harass her about it when she gets off of work and see what happens.
I assume that my own existence absolves anyone farther downstream.