Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 04:16:35 AM

Title: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 04:16:35 AM

Bud Light Lime, Franks & V8
Didn't have clam juice so I used nam pla
Turned out pretty good.   
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 22, 2013, 05:52:09 AM
Eleven out of ten East Coast Discordians have determined that chelada is a crime against nature. Except for EoC, who is less "Discordian" and more "wrathful, maladjusted protoplasm" and gleefully distributes the stuff to unsuspecting chumps.

Normally, I would put this sort of thing down to being a matter of taste, but not this time. There comes a time in everyone's life where they have to throw reason, perspective, and fairness to the wind and say, "What am I willing to put up with today? NOT FUCKING THIS!"

This is that time.




actually I'm pretty sure we already had this discussion after the 2011 Memorial Day Meatup thread, and everyone walked away having the exact same opinions they started out with
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 06:09:17 AM
God knows what barbarities you East Coasters consume on a regular basis. Wasn't Scrapple your idea? Who came up with that? "Hey, I have a bunch of waste meat... I know, let's puree it and mix it with cornmeal! That'll be delicious!"

I feel like since you gave the world Scrapple, I should be able to mix my beer with hot sauce, seafood squeezins, and tomato juice free from harrassment, Eastern.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 22, 2013, 08:19:21 AM
Quote from: Mean Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 06:09:17 AM
God knows what barbarities you East Coasters consume on a regular basis. Wasn't Scrapple your idea? Who came up with that? "Hey, I have a bunch of waste meat... I know, let's puree it and mix it with cornmeal! That'll be delicious!"

I feel like since you gave the world Scrapple, I should be able to mix my beer with hot sauce, seafood squeezins, and tomato juice free from harrassment, Eastern.

I have never actually had Scrapple. I'm pretty sure I didn't even know what it was until quite recently.

But pureeing unattractive meat-parts of animals and mixing them with some kind of filler is a sacred tradition and we shouldn't judge the hungry Swamp Yankees that got hungry enough to make a really ghetto-ass, shapeless hot dog. Proto-Spam, really.

INTERNET SLEUTHING REVEALS: Scrapple is a traditional food of the Pennsylvania Dutch, including the Amish.


so basically what we can conclude from this thorough analysis is that chelada, while apparently enjoyed by people basically everywhere in America except for the Northeast, is still objectively an abomination
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on September 22, 2013, 08:59:23 AM
apart from the fish sauce part, it sounds to me like the bastard offspring of a lager shandy and a bloody mary.

both which are valid drinks.



Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: LMNO on September 22, 2013, 10:57:46 AM
Once, upon a Time, I was vehemently opposed to the very IDEA of a Michelada.

Then I drank one, at a bar I trusted

Granted, they added a shot of tequila to the beer/spicy tomato juice/lime mix, so.

The biggest problem I have when drinking them is reminding myself that it doesn't taste the way it looks. Which is a weird thing to say, but those who drink 'em probably know where I'm coming from.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Eater of Clowns on September 22, 2013, 01:21:45 PM
I revisited the cheleda a few months ago, making a poor concoction of Naragansett lager and Clamato. It was just a salty, gross mess that I got sick of halfway through my second glass.

I have not given up on the drink, and take a sort of sick pleasure in the horror a tallboy of Budweiser Cheleda in a Can inflicts upon myself and, yes, others.

The sriracha cookbook I have includes a cheleda recipe in it that I'm very curious to try.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 03:42:33 PM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on September 22, 2013, 08:19:21 AM
Quote from: Mean Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 06:09:17 AM
God knows what barbarities you East Coasters consume on a regular basis. Wasn't Scrapple your idea? Who came up with that? "Hey, I have a bunch of waste meat... I know, let's puree it and mix it with cornmeal! That'll be delicious!"

I feel like since you gave the world Scrapple, I should be able to mix my beer with hot sauce, seafood squeezins, and tomato juice free from harrassment, Eastern.

I have never actually had Scrapple. I'm pretty sure I didn't even know what it was until quite recently.

But pureeing unattractive meat-parts of animals and mixing them with some kind of filler is a sacred tradition and we shouldn't judge the hungry Swamp Yankees that got hungry enough to make a really ghetto-ass, shapeless hot dog. Proto-Spam, really.

INTERNET SLEUTHING REVEALS: Scrapple is a traditional food of the Pennsylvania Dutch, including the Amish.


so basically what we can conclude from this thorough analysis is that chelada, while apparently enjoyed by people basically everywhere in America except for the Northeast, is still objectively an abomination

:lulz:
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 03:43:26 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 22, 2013, 10:57:46 AM
Once, upon a Time, I was vehemently opposed to the very IDEA of a Michelada.

Then I drank one, at a bar I trusted

Granted, they added a shot of tequila to the beer/spicy tomato juice/lime mix, so.

The biggest problem I have when drinking them is reminding myself that it doesn't taste the way it looks. Which is a weird thing to say, but those who drink 'em probably know where I'm coming from.

You mean they don't look REDLY REFRESHING to you? Because to me, they taste EXACTLY how they look.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 03:48:54 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 22, 2013, 01:21:45 PM
I revisited the cheleda a few months ago, making a poor concoction of Naragansett lager and Clamato. It was just a salty, gross mess that I got sick of halfway through my second glass.

I have not given up on the drink, and take a sort of sick pleasure in the horror a tallboy of Budweiser Cheleda in a Can inflicts upon myself and, yes, others.

The sriracha cookbook I have includes a cheleda recipe in it that I'm very curious to try.

OK, let me give you my recipe.

You have to start with cheap beer. Budweiser, Miller, whatever.

Add V8. Some people prefer a 50/50 mix, I like about a 2:1 ratio of beer/V8. Clamato is ok too, whatever.

If you are using V8, you need to add a few dollops of clam juice.

Add hot sauce to taste. I prefer Cholula but Tapatio is good too.

Squeeze 1 lime wedge into it, stir.

Sprinkle salt on top.

Mmmmm refreshing!
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2013, 03:50:04 PM
This is pretty much the best thing on earth to drink on a hot day when you've been exerting yourself. If you drink it under those circumstances, your body will go OMG THANK YOU! and you will love them evermore.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on September 23, 2013, 05:46:50 PM
The Budweiser Chelada one actually wasn't horrible, even though there seemed to be a bit of shame mixed into the can.

I would like to try making one up as Nigel mentioned, as I sometimes find myself craving one, since sometimes Bloody Mary's are a bit too heavy.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 23, 2013, 05:55:10 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on September 23, 2013, 05:46:50 PM
The Budweiser Chelada one actually wasn't horrible, even though there seemed to be a bit of shame mixed into the can.


:lulz: It's their secret ingredient.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 06:31:00 PM
a bit of shame? A bit of an understatement.

Budweiser chelada is 100% shame. You are tasting straight shame.

If you were to invent a shamometer, a device which measured shame, the unit of measurement would be the chelada.


I would rather drink vitreous fluid through a bendy straw with a hole in it than taste that foul orcish concoction again
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Eater of Clowns on September 23, 2013, 06:36:50 PM
I really think Budweiser Cheleda in a can should the official drink of Discordia everywhere. With a pepper spray chaser.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on September 23, 2013, 07:13:35 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 06:31:00 PM
a bit of shame? A bit of an understatement.

Budweiser chelada is 100% shame. You are tasting straight shame.

If you were to invent a shamometer, a device which measured shame, the unit of measurement would be the chelada.


I would rather drink vitreous fluid through a bendy straw with a hole in it than taste that foul orcish concoction again

I would, quite literally, rather drink straight shots of pickle juice.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 07:22:00 PM
I would rather make a liqueur from the gunk that you find between toes, and then put that liqueur into a beer hat, and drink it while watching C-SPAN
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on September 23, 2013, 08:42:12 PM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on September 23, 2013, 07:13:35 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 06:31:00 PM
a bit of shame? A bit of an understatement.

Budweiser chelada is 100% shame. You are tasting straight shame.

If you were to invent a shamometer, a device which measured shame, the unit of measurement would be the chelada.


I would rather drink vitreous fluid through a bendy straw with a hole in it than taste that foul orcish concoction again

I would, quite literally, rather drink straight shots of pickle juice.

People don't do this already? It's delicious!
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on September 23, 2013, 08:42:39 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 06:31:00 PM
a bit of shame? A bit of an understatement.

Budweiser chelada is 100% shame. You are tasting straight shame.

If you were to invent a shamometer, a device which measured shame, the unit of measurement would be the chelada.


I would rather drink vitreous fluid through a bendy straw with a hole in it than taste that foul orcish concoction again

:lulz: :lulz: I was trying to be nice
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 23, 2013, 11:07:48 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 23, 2013, 06:31:00 PM
a bit of shame? A bit of an understatement.

Budweiser chelada is 100% shame. You are tasting straight shame.

If you were to invent a shamometer, a device which measured shame, the unit of measurement would be the chelada.


I would rather drink vitreous fluid through a bendy straw with a hole in it than taste that foul orcish concoction again

:lulz:
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on September 26, 2013, 10:19:05 PM
A) Cramulus is correct ITT
B) Do you have to use the cheap crap lager? Cause I can't even bring myself to purchase that junk.

I tried it once with Tecate and died. I was only revived to tell the world not to drink Tecate.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 26, 2013, 11:11:41 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on September 26, 2013, 10:19:05 PM
A) Cramulus is correct ITT
B) Do you have to use the cheap crap lager? Cause I can't even bring myself to purchase that junk.

I tried it once with Tecate and died. I was only revived to tell the world not to drink Tecate.

You can try it with more expensive lager but it should be a real lager and not some pretentious Northwest lager with three times the normal amount of hops.

NO ALE. PERIOD.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Salty on September 26, 2013, 11:20:00 PM
Oooh, I hate those lagers!

JUST SHUT UP, LESS THAN LAGER, BUT SOMEHOW MORE ASS.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 27, 2013, 12:41:09 AM
Quote from: Alty on September 26, 2013, 11:20:00 PM
Oooh, I hate those lagers!

JUST SHUT UP, LESS THAN LAGER, BUT SOMEHOW MORE ASS.

They infuriate me. I wanted a NICE REFRESHING LAGER, not to be PUNCHED IN THE MOUTH WITH THE BREWER'S HAM-FIST.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on September 27, 2013, 02:31:20 AM
if I have to drink lager, it's usually German brewed. Mostly because their brewing standards haven't changed for centuries. Actual Dutch Grolsch is nice (YAY SWING TOP BOTTLES) or some actual japanese import stuff.

if it's mass produced in the UK I won't touch it.

Black lager is nice.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Ben Shapiro on October 30, 2013, 08:15:42 AM
Wife and Bink's like those. I can't believe they eat it willingly.
Title: Re: Wanted a chelada
Post by: Ben Shapiro on October 30, 2013, 08:17:35 AM
Victoria is the only Mexican beer I will touch. Everything is fucking awful. I see why my people use lime.