...TO LAY DOWN SOME WRATH.
First: A man complaining about an abusive marriage is different from a woman complaining about an abusive marriage...HOW, exactly? If a woman complains that her husband is treating her like a doorstop, we all express anger and indignation that such a person (the husband) is permitted to occupy the planet. If a man complains, then he's a sissy or he's airing dirty laundry or whatever. DOUBLE STANDARD.
Second: A lot of people are walking around right now, looking for reasons to be PISSED OFF. While I can sympathize with this in principle, there's one thing to consider: If you're not part of the actual problem, getting all pissed off about it to show solidarity doesn't always help. If one person is being a complete shit, fine. However, if it turns out that there was a misunderstanding or someone merely spoke out of turn, every person joining in makes the situation that much fucking worse, and that much harder for EITHER side to stop. Showing SUPPORT is one thing; actively jumping in the mosh pit is another thing entirely.
Third: An unpleasant truth is not an insult. Wear a hat.
Fourth: There are a few people around here who are considered somehow to be invincible, emotionally...Or that somehow just don't count in that sort of equation. People who "can handle themselves" and don't need backup. Or can be slammed on at will, because they're "tough enough to take it". This happens to me once in a while, and let me tell you that it's fucking BULLSHIT. Even if they WERE that tough, it's still BULLSHIT. I am speaking specifically about Nigel, LMNO, and Alty, here. All 3 on the receiving end.
Fifth: Taking sides is exactly that. TAKING SIDES. You may as well run out and be a fucking democrat or a teabagger or something.
All of You People need to get the sand out of your crack and act like bipeds. YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE.
I see a need for penance, here. If you are guilty of this shit, speak up now and take your medicine. If you don't think you're guilty, you can just enjoy your eternity in Normal Hell (the boring one). It's your soul, you do whatcha want.
Or Kill Me.
I don't believe that I have chosen a side in this, but if you feel that I am due for penance I'll take it.
Precisly none of this would even be an issue if I had been quietly left alone, by the singular person to whom I had made my wishes very clear.
I am even more upset that it has spilled onto the board at large. What about BLOCK and IGNORE is so difficult to understand?
Please point out one instance where I have acted like that, arbitrarily or not. Name one time that I lost my shit on someone who didn't have it coming.
If anyone thinks Im mad at LMNO because he shared an opinion I didn't like GO SHOVE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR OWN PRESUMPTUOUS ASS AND KEEP IT THERE.
He doesn't even know why what he said has had such a profound effect on me. Maybe I'll share that story someday.
But, as I'm going through a lot of heavy bullshit right now, I would appreciate ALL OF YOU ceasing the adding to the pile. Because he couldn't keep his god damned teap shut I have now lost the LAST FUCKING ANCHOR I HAVE.
So ,please, for my sake, everybody, SHUT UP.
Quote from: Alty on September 30, 2013, 06:50:07 PM
Please point out one instance where I have acted like that, arbitrarily or not. Name one time that I lost my shit on someone who didn't have it coming.
If anyone thinks Im mad at LMNO because he shared an opinion I didn't like GO SHOVE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR OWN PRESUMPTUOUS ASS AND KEEP IT THERE.
Did you think I was calling you out with this thread?
QuoteHe doesn't even know why what he said has had such a profound effect on me. Maybe I'll share that story someday.
You know, never mind. I will in fact SHUT UP.
TGRR,
Off to do 3 hours + of CBTs.
Nope, I was stating that for people ar large.
I just hate all of this.
Quote from: Alty on September 30, 2013, 06:50:07 PM
Because he couldn't keep his god damned teap shut I have now lost the LAST FUCKING ANCHOR I HAVE.
If you're referring to PD as that anchor, I don't think you've lost it.
If you weren't referring to PD as that anchor, then I think we'd all be more than happy to ANCHOR THE MOTHERFUCK OUT OF YOU.
Anchor so big you'll be afraid to go out in public. People will stare at the anchor IN AWE AND REVERENCE. Mothers will bring their children to be blessed by the MIGHTY POWER OF THE ANCHOR. Nearby organisms will evolve in its presence, forming complex societies and technologies IN WORSHIP OF THE ALL BEING ANCHOR.
Quote from: Alty on September 30, 2013, 06:50:07 PM
So ,please, for my sake, everybody, SHUT UP.
As you wish, except for one more thing: I love you as much as i can love an internet friend.
Quote from: Alty on September 30, 2013, 06:57:50 PM
Nope, I was stating that for people ar large.
I just hate all of this.
"Then stop."
- Some old Greek goddess you've never heard of.
Roger, because you are my friend I am going to just walk away from this topic right now.
Roger, you're right. It makes me wish I had the wherewithal to write a suitable addendum, but I'm afraid that I've lapsed in that capacity for too long to make it worthwhile. But i still feel the need to comment. It's strange the way these things work, the various perceptions we all have that make us react in a way that others find objectionable, while they in turn, seem objectionable to us. Further, it is these things that we cling to, and hold in our minds long after the rest, the good and the neutral, are forgotten. Without conscious intervention, we're mere calculators of sleights and insults. We must all take care to keep this in mind.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 30, 2013, 06:40:04 PM
...TO LAY DOWN SOME WRATH.
First: A man complaining about an abusive marriage is different from a woman complaining about an abusive marriage...HOW, exactly? If a woman complains that her husband is treating her like a doorstop, we all express anger and indignation that such a person (the husband) is permitted to occupy the planet. If a man complains, then he's a sissy or he's airing dirty laundry or whatever. DOUBLE STANDARD.
Second: A lot of people are walking around right now, looking for reasons to be PISSED OFF. While I can sympathize with this in principle, there's one thing to consider: If you're not part of the actual problem, getting all pissed off about it to show solidarity doesn't always help. If one person is being a complete shit, fine. However, if it turns out that there was a misunderstanding or someone merely spoke out of turn, every person joining in makes the situation that much fucking worse, and that much harder for EITHER side to stop. Showing SUPPORT is one thing; actively jumping in the mosh pit is another thing entirely.
Third: An unpleasant truth is not an insult. Wear a hat.
Fourth: There are a few people around here who are considered somehow to be invincible, emotionally...Or that somehow just don't count in that sort of equation. People who "can handle themselves" and don't need backup. Or can be slammed on at will, because they're "tough enough to take it". This happens to me once in a while, and let me tell you that it's fucking BULLSHIT. Even if they WERE that tough, it's still BULLSHIT. I am speaking specifically about Nigel, LMNO, and Alty, here. All 3 on the receiving end.
Fifth: Taking sides is exactly that. TAKING SIDES. You may as well run out and be a fucking democrat or a teabagger or something.
All of You People need to get the sand out of your crack and act like bipeds. YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE.
I see a need for penance, here. If you are guilty of this shit, speak up now and take your medicine. If you don't think you're guilty, you can just enjoy your eternity in Normal Hell (the boring one). It's your soul, you do whatcha want.
Or Kill Me.
1. RAH. Calling the bullshit bullshit is a sacrement, even if everyone else thinks it's true, or worse, "politically correct". NO. Stomping on your own nuts does not make you a feminist - it makes you, at best, an entitles masochist.
2. This. Take some pride in your hate fer fucksake.
3.
4.
5. Taking sides is just knuckling under to another person's need for an ideological army. Or asking for email spam.
Actually as a pretty strident feminist I totally agree with point 1. Abuse is abuse is abuse. the contents of your pance /gender identity mean FUCK ALL. it's no different. In general societal memes and constructs is is harder for dudes to get support on an official level and some dudes do feel ashamed and non masculine about being on the receiving end, but that's the same bullshit gender roles wearing a different hat, so Roger's main point totally stands.
I know I got pretty heated with Bear, but I've seen too many folks equivocate like motherfuckers about shitty behavior, from the person in my feminist group who basically yelled at me and told me I couldn't tag my housemate in anything ever because of some bullshit argument over a year ago where she was in the fucking wrong and still is but her nice person self image won't actually let her see that she is becoming a bit of an asshole, to the guy who claimed "he wasn't like that" (prev housemate, who incidentally is wanted by the police for assaulting his then GF on a frikkin train) to my dad who physically, financially and emotionally abused my mum for years and hasn't said a damn thing about it for 27 years, so sorry, not sorry. My reaction to this kind of shit isn't something I go looking to get outraged about, but it's fucking personal as fuck and I don't brush shit off.
I backed off for my own reasons (my mental health, and Alty's MH and not provoking more drama than was already going down) and I said my piece, so that's all from me on that particular point.
AMEN, BROTHER.
Quote from: Pixie on October 02, 2013, 05:57:58 AM
Actually as a pretty strident feminist I totally agree with point 1. Abuse is abuse is abuse. the contents of your pance /gender identity mean FUCK ALL. it's no different. In general societal memes and constructs is is harder for dudes to get support on an official level and some dudes do feel ashamed and non masculine about being on the receiving end, but that's the same bullshit gender roles wearing a different hat, so Roger's main point totally stands.
I know I got pretty heated with Bear, but I've seen too many folks equivocate like motherfuckers about shitty behavior, from the person in my feminist group who basically yelled at me and told me I couldn't tag my housemate in anything ever because of some bullshit argument over a year ago where she was in the fucking wrong and still is but her nice person self image won't actually let her see that she is becoming a bit of an asshole, to the guy who claimed "he wasn't like that" (prev housemate, who incidentally is wanted by the police for assaulting his then GF on a frikkin train) to my dad who physically, financially and emotionally abused my mum for years and hasn't said a damn thing about it for 27 years, so sorry, not sorry. My reaction to this kind of shit isn't something I go looking to get outraged about, but it's fucking personal as fuck and I don't brush shit off.
I backed off for my own reasons (my mental health, and Alty's MH and not provoking more drama than was already going down) and I said my piece, so that's all from me on that particular point.
Bear doesn't mean any harm. He's stuck in a city where "feminism" is largely a Susan Brownmiller self-parody, so he's operating on bad signal. He's not the only one there that does this.
As such, and I've said this before, he's not
hostile, so he's part of what you might call your recruitment pool. Expecting people to somehow instinctively know what it's all about when they've received bad signal all their lives is neither reasonable nor productive.
Just saying.
Rant follows.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 02, 2013, 03:14:12 PM
Quote from: Pixie on October 02, 2013, 05:57:58 AM
Actually as a pretty strident feminist I totally agree with point 1. Abuse is abuse is abuse. the contents of your pance /gender identity mean FUCK ALL. it's no different. In general societal memes and constructs is is harder for dudes to get support on an official level and some dudes do feel ashamed and non masculine about being on the receiving end, but that's the same bullshit gender roles wearing a different hat, so Roger's main point totally stands.
I know I got pretty heated with Bear, but I've seen too many folks equivocate like motherfuckers about shitty behavior, from the person in my feminist group who basically yelled at me and told me I couldn't tag my housemate in anything ever because of some bullshit argument over a year ago where she was in the fucking wrong and still is but her nice person self image won't actually let her see that she is becoming a bit of an asshole, to the guy who claimed "he wasn't like that" (prev housemate, who incidentally is wanted by the police for assaulting his then GF on a frikkin train) to my dad who physically, financially and emotionally abused my mum for years and hasn't said a damn thing about it for 27 years, so sorry, not sorry. My reaction to this kind of shit isn't something I go looking to get outraged about, but it's fucking personal as fuck and I don't brush shit off.
I backed off for my own reasons (my mental health, and Alty's MH and not provoking more drama than was already going down) and I said my piece, so that's all from me on that particular point.
Bear doesn't mean any harm. He's stuck in a city where "feminism" is largely a Susan Brownmiller self-parody, so he's operating on bad signal. He's not the only one there that does this.
As such, and I've said this before, he's not hostile, so he's part of what you might call your recruitment pool. Expecting people to somehow instinctively know what it's all about when they've received bad signal all their lives is neither reasonable nor productive.
Just saying.
Rant follows.
QFT! I've noticed a lot of "activism" seems to fall in to the trap of berating people for being "programmed" to behave a certain way.
I've also noticed that a lot of "programming" factors in a strong resistance to this avenue of attack.
Good luck to those who would solve a problem by banging their heads against an impenetrable wall.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 02, 2013, 03:56:47 PM
QFT! I've noticed a lot of "activism" seems to fall in to the trap of berating people for being "programmed" to behave a certain way.
I've also noticed that a lot of "programming" factors in a strong resistance to this avenue of attack.
Good luck to those who would solve a problem by banging their heads against an impenetrable wall.
And berating shuts people off. They simply stop listening.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 02, 2013, 03:14:12 PM
Quote from: Pixie on October 02, 2013, 05:57:58 AM
Actually as a pretty strident feminist I totally agree with point 1. Abuse is abuse is abuse. the contents of your pance /gender identity mean FUCK ALL. it's no different. In general societal memes and constructs is is harder for dudes to get support on an official level and some dudes do feel ashamed and non masculine about being on the receiving end, but that's the same bullshit gender roles wearing a different hat, so Roger's main point totally stands.
I know I got pretty heated with Bear, but I've seen too many folks equivocate like motherfuckers about shitty behavior, from the person in my feminist group who basically yelled at me and told me I couldn't tag my housemate in anything ever because of some bullshit argument over a year ago where she was in the fucking wrong and still is but her nice person self image won't actually let her see that she is becoming a bit of an asshole, to the guy who claimed "he wasn't like that" (prev housemate, who incidentally is wanted by the police for assaulting his then GF on a frikkin train) to my dad who physically, financially and emotionally abused my mum for years and hasn't said a damn thing about it for 27 years, so sorry, not sorry. My reaction to this kind of shit isn't something I go looking to get outraged about, but it's fucking personal as fuck and I don't brush shit off.
I backed off for my own reasons (my mental health, and Alty's MH and not provoking more drama than was already going down) and I said my piece, so that's all from me on that particular point.
Bear doesn't mean any harm. He's stuck in a city where "feminism" is largely a Susan Brownmiller self-parody, so he's operating on bad signal. He's not the only one there that does this.
As such, and I've said this before, he's not hostile, so he's part of what you might call your recruitment pool. Expecting people to somehow instinctively know what it's all about when they've received bad signal all their lives is neither reasonable nor productive.
Just saying.
Rant follows.
that wasn't what it was about, actually. Not feminism per se.