My mind...it is blown.
I would give my own damn bones to organize an exhibit of these somewhere. They are absolutely stunning and yet totally mortifying at the same time. The article says this on their origin:
QuoteOn May 31, 1578, local vineyard workers discovered that a hollow along Rome's Via Salaria, a road traversing the boot of Italy, led to a catacomb. The subterranean chamber proved to be full of countless skeletal remains, presumably dating back to the first three centuries following Christianity's emergence, when thousands were persecuted for practicing the still-outlawed religion. An estimated 500,000 to 750,000 souls—mostly Christians but including some pagans and Jews—found a final resting place in the sprawling Roman catacombs.
For hundreds of skeletons, however, that resting place would prove anything but final. The Catholic Church quickly learned of the discovery and believed it was a godsend, since many of the skeletons must have belonged to early Christian martyrs. In Northern Europe—especially in Germany, where anti-Catholic sentiment was most fervent—Catholic churches had suffered from plunderers and vandals during the Protestant Revolution over the past several decades. Those churches' sacred relics had largely been lost or destroyed. The newly discovered holy remains, however, could restock the shelves and restore the morale of those parishes that had been ransacked.
The holy bodies became wildly sought-after treasures. Every Catholic church, no matter how small, wanted to have at least one, if not ten. The skeletons allowed the churches to make a "grandiose statement," Koudounaris says, and were especially prized in southern Germany, the epicenter of "the battleground against the Protestants." Wealthy families sought them for their private chapels, and guilds and fraternities would sometimes pool their resources to adopt a martyr, who would become the patron of cloth-makers, for example.
I am in AWE.
http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/2013/10/meet-the-fantastically-bejeweled-skeletons-of-catholicisms-forgotten-martyrs/
(http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/files/2013/09/for-smithsonian0012.jpg)
WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?
But the best part: They aren't who they say they are. They are dead Romans who may or may not have been Christian martyrs. :lulz:
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 02:27:57 PM
(http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/files/2013/09/for-smithsonian0012.jpg)
WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?
Think of it as a 16th century Barbie Playhouse.
That right there? That's Ken, ready for the beach!
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 02:27:57 PM
(http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/files/2013/09/for-smithsonian0012.jpg)
WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?
That's not just OK, that's AWESOME.
Those pearls that were his eyes, that diamond studded shaft that was his junk, nothing of him that doth fade.
These are amazing.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 02:27:57 PM
(http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/files/2013/09/for-smithsonian0012.jpg)
WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY?
....me?
Wow, absolutely beautiful! People are so weird and interesting.
I'm ordering the book. I can't wait!
I'm gonna see if I can talk someone into doing this to me when I croak. I mean Sithrak will be eternally torturing me, at least some part of me should be having a good time.
I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem.
Wow. That's amazing. All that work, from weaving the gauze to molding the wax to adding the decoration. Holy shit, man.
(http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/files/2013/09/for-smithsonian0003.jpg)
Intern me like one of your French girls.
Quote from: Mome Papess Trivial on October 18, 2013, 02:42:24 AM
(http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/files/2013/09/for-smithsonian0003.jpg)
Intern me like one of your French girls.
I WOULD HIT IT
Quote from: Richter on October 18, 2013, 12:14:17 AM
I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem.
The first person I thought of when I posted this was Nigel. Because I remember her skeleton project from a few years back. And I had this vision of her delicately crafting everything out of beads she made, and just going to town on it. Glass penises included.
Quote from: Suu on October 18, 2013, 02:56:41 AM
Quote from: Richter on October 18, 2013, 12:14:17 AM
I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem.
The first person I thought of when I posted this was Nigel. Because I remember her skeleton project from a few years back. And I had this vision of her delicately crafting everything out of beads she made, and just going to town on it. Glass penises included.
You make me want to bling up my skeleton bride.
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 18, 2013, 05:09:34 AM
Quote from: Suu on October 18, 2013, 02:56:41 AM
Quote from: Richter on October 18, 2013, 12:14:17 AM
I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem.
The first person I thought of when I posted this was Nigel. Because I remember her skeleton project from a few years back. And I had this vision of her delicately crafting everything out of beads she made, and just going to town on it. Glass penises included.
You make me want to bling up my skeleton bride.
It would be pretty fucking epic.
Quote from: Suu on October 18, 2013, 01:05:03 PM
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 18, 2013, 05:09:34 AM
Quote from: Suu on October 18, 2013, 02:56:41 AM
Quote from: Richter on October 18, 2013, 12:14:17 AM
I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem.
The first person I thought of when I posted this was Nigel. Because I remember her skeleton project from a few years back. And I had this vision of her delicately crafting everything out of beads she made, and just going to town on it. Glass penises included.
You make me want to bling up my skeleton bride.
It would be pretty fucking epic.
It's probably gonna happen, now. :lol:
Quote from: Mome Papess Trivial on October 18, 2013, 02:42:24 AM
(http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/history/files/2013/09/for-smithsonian0003.jpg)
Intern me like one of your French girls.
No, no, no, that was just his glam phase. :lol:
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 18, 2013, 03:57:21 PM
Quote from: Suu on October 18, 2013, 01:05:03 PM
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 18, 2013, 05:09:34 AM
Quote from: Suu on October 18, 2013, 02:56:41 AM
Quote from: Richter on October 18, 2013, 12:14:17 AM
I need to look into how much people will pay to have their shit bejazzled post-mortem.
The first person I thought of when I posted this was Nigel. Because I remember her skeleton project from a few years back. And I had this vision of her delicately crafting everything out of beads she made, and just going to town on it. Glass penises included.
You make me want to bling up my skeleton bride.
It would be pretty fucking epic.
It's probably gonna happen, now. :lol:
YES.
The Bowl of Dicks can be a part of something BIGGER. :lulz: but serious!
Necklace of dicks. :)
I feel like "Fantastically Bejeweled Skeleton of Catholicism's Forgotten Martyrs" should be someone's Holy Name.
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 19, 2013, 06:15:57 PM
Necklace of dicks. :)
I feel like "Fantastically Bejeweled Skeleton of Catholicism's Forgotten Martyrs" should be someone's Holy Name.
YES. That is a great Holy Name.
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 19, 2013, 06:15:57 PM
Necklace of dicks. :)
I feel like "Fantastically Bejeweled Skeleton of Catholicism's Forgotten Martyrs" should be someone's Holy Name.
YES and YES.
(http://image.blingee.com/images19/content/output/000/000/000/7f5/835238867_1382435.gif)
Dear Tranzhuman Cryonic Institute of Weehawken,
I would officially like to make some slight changes to the way my head shall be preserved. Enclosed, you will find a package of assorted beads, a hot glue gun, and a letter from the Bishop of Las Vegas.
These are mythical in how spectacular they are, really shows up the religions who just painted pictures of their saints.
Quote from: PopeSlag on October 20, 2013, 09:51:17 PM
Dear Tranzhuman Cryonic Institute of Weehawken,
I would officially like to make some slight changes to the way my head shall be preserved. Enclosed, you will find a package of assorted beads, a hot glue gun, and a letter from the Bishop of Las Vegas.
One mustn't forget the rhinestones.
Goddamn Faust, you need to have my children for that bling gif. :lulz:
Ah to be a martyr (perhaps, unless these are just some Roman dudes and not at all Christian bones).
Imagine, sacrificing your wealth, your livelihood, your friends, your family and even your life for a religion that you Truly Believe In.
Then imagine later followers of your religion hauling out your bones and sticking more than the net worth of your entire life on you as decorations. As you lay there for centuries in this splendor, the people around your corpse and penniless and dying of starvation.
Well, God did promise them a fantastic FABULOUS!! afterlife.
kinda related and definitely up there in terms of awesome macabre is this place (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y258YjexWys)
Can't remember offhand what the holy relic was (maybe baby jesus's foreskin or maybe the bejewelled skull of john the baptist aged 4) but basically everyone in a thousand mile radius wanted buried there, so the bodies started piling up until the neighbors started complaining about the smell. Church was in need of redecorating ... two birds/one stone
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 21, 2013, 10:32:20 AM
Ah to be a martyr (perhaps, unless these are just some Roman dudes and not at all Christian bones).
From what I gather, they are all random skeletons that may or may not have been Christian. M. is the initial for Marcus, not martyr. That made me laugh, hard.
Quote
Imagine, sacrificing your wealth, your livelihood, your friends, your family and even your life for a religion that you Truly Believe In.
That's a Franciscan thing that didn't come about until the 13th Century. Even early Christians were pretty well off. It was the city religion, not the country ("pagani") religion. Think of it as Scientology today. The Romans collected religions and this one sounded like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately, the promise of afterlife in Heaven was a bit great for some, and there was a movement in which Christians would jump out in front of chariots and carts in attempts to martyr themselves. This pissed off a lot of people, namely Domitian and Diocletian, and led to, "Well, if ya'll want to die, we'll just make it easier on you." And then Constantine essentially told them to knock it the fuck off and decriminalized Christianity.
Quote
Then imagine later followers of your religion hauling out your bones and sticking more than the net worth of your entire life on you as decorations. As you lay there for centuries in this splendor, the people around your corpse and penniless and dying of starvation.
Well, God did promise them a fantastic FABULOUS!! afterlife.
Par for the course through most of the Middle Ages and Early Modern Period. But these are SPECTACULARLY FABULOUS.