emeril the cook needs to stop being so fameous. i have now seen emeril salsa, and the "medium" is really "sweet" (where the hell is you fameous "BAM!" in your salsa? or a few notches to be kicked up?) then there's BAM! steak sauce... Emeril cookware- spatulas, tongs, etc. Emeril has to be one of the worst goddamn cooks ever! his english sucks (so what we're gunna do is we're gunna...) and the audience is so f-ing stupid. actually, it's partly the "applause" signs, and partly the audience for being so dumb to actually do what the signs want.i remember one times emeril actuallly made a good joke, and no one laughed- and then he says some dumb thing and everyone laughs. his overused "BAM!" phrase is horridly overused, gathering too much applause from the subservient crowd.
my question: why isn't Joque Pepin fameous with brand name salsa, steak sauce, and kitchen utensils? because he has the brains and a much smaller ego if any at all, and makes much finer food than stupid regular crap like salsa and steak sauce. Joque has better english, he dosn't have a dumb crowd, no dumb catch phrases, or anything ike that. he's a REAL cook. just like julia childs.(RIP)
Emeril=CHEF D's father.
hail eris.
~bob-o
RAH!
and for that matter, why isn't the Iron Chef on network TV, or at least on TNT or something? they should have a whole "Iron Chef" tournament, and the championship match should be at least as widely watched as the Super Bowl...
Quote from: That Communist BastardRAH!
and for that matter, why isn't the Iron Chef on network TV, or at least on TNT or something? they should have a whole "Iron Chef" tournament, and the championship match should be at least as widely watched as the Super Bowl...
because nobody outside of the people who watch food network care about Iron Chef.
there was an iron chef series hosted by Shatner on TNT or something, it bombed like ashley simpson on SNL.
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and If Emeril's salsa isn't hot enough for you, try my stuff. lowest rating? Nuclear.
Shatner should be hunted down and killed like the dog he is for even attempting to call that 2 hour tragedy "Iron Chef." The only redeeming part of that show was Alton Brown, and as good as his intentions were he should still be reprimanded.
The chairman is not to be trifled with, and there's no replacing Michiba, even though Morimoto did good by them all.
If you want to see a real bastard, look at Bobby Flay. That man could stuff the entire universe up his nose and into his ego and there would still be room left for pie.
But give me an Alton Bown/Jamie Oliver vs. Bobby Flay grudgematch and I'll pay money to see it. <rubs hands gleefully>
And if that chick from Everyday Italian wants people to take her food seriously she should stop orgasming on screen every time she tastes it. Yes, ok, we know you love yourself and your food. Get a room.
I think Emeril saying "BAM!" would actually mean something if every time he said it he hit himself in the nuts with a meat tenderizer.
Quote from: agent compassionI think Emeril saying "BAM!" would actually mean something if every time he said it he hit himself in the nuts with a meat tenderizer.
:shock: :mrgreen: 8) :lol: :twisted: and all of the above.
That was awesome.
See, I thought he was just retarded. When I was in elementary school there was this one kid in the special-education classes that would shout "BAM!!" and punch himself at pretty much random intervals. Have a little compassion, AGENT COMPASSION. ;)
QuoteSee, I thought he was just retarded
QuoteHave a little compassion,
He's not, so I don't. :P
The last time I went bowling there was this boy who seemed to be autistic or developmentally slow in some way next to us. Everytime he made a strike he would yell "BAM!", grin, and use both hands to point at his crotch. He was a great bowler, made alot of strikes.
His mom kept scolding him but I thought that was pretty honest.
Quote from: agent compassionQuoteSee, I thought he was just retarded
QuoteHave a little compassion,
He's not, so I don't. :P
Maybe not, but I think he's starting to flip out a little bit.
Anyone ever notice how much he hums to himself while he cooks? He's constantly making this high pitched squealing noise..
"Hmmm, haaa, hmmmm, rvoom, rvoom mmmmuaaam, and that's how you stuff a chicken."
He's a vacuum cleaner! :)
Iron Chef is sooooooooooooooooooo uber. I love Iron chef.
Emeril is a pig's penis, I agree.
Mario Batali is amazing, and I want to eat everything he's ever made on that show.
Alton Brown is a prick with an annoying voice, someone should smash his balls with a meat tenderizer, and then go for his voice box.
Iron Chef could never work as an American thing. We just don't take our food seriously enough, and beyond that Bobby Flay is a shitty chef. Morimoto will kick his ass any day by looking at him.
Morimoto is just too uber. I watched him make caramel with coke. Anyone who can do that deserves major kudos.
Take that back about Alton Brown! A science geek who loves to cook and has an ironic sense of humor...
<swoon>
And Mario Batali is pretty badass, I have to agree. What was that show he used to do with that really small man who couldn't talk? They traveled through Europe on a motorcycle and cooked... I can't remember, but that was awesome too.
OK, Flay is a true flaming asshole. No doubt.
And Emeril is pretty damn annoying too, but I ate at one of his restaraunts ("NOLA"), and fuck if the food wasn't incredible. I won't watch him, but i gotta respect a man who can produce recipies like that.
Alton is one of my favs, Mario is great, only it's often hard to find his ingredients (ever try to find Speck?), and I think I'm gonna have a lot more fun next time I go bowling....
HEY! Alton Brown is great! yay for "good eats"!
...
~bob-o
I'd have to say, A.Brown is probably the best person on that network.
but the guy who hosts "The secret life of..." needs to go before anyone else.
Quote from: LMNOOK, Flay is a true flaming asshole. No doubt.
And Emeril is pretty damn annoying too, but I ate at one of his restaraunts ("NOLA"), and fuck if the food wasn't incredible. I won't watch him, but i gotta respect a man who can produce recipies like that.
Alton is one of my favs, Mario is great, only it's often hard to find his ingredients (ever try to find Speck?), and I think I'm gonna have a lot more fun next time I go bowling....
bah just like any great artist he probly stole his recipes from someone else
I hear it's the sacrificial blood of 20,000 virgin goats that make his food edible. But that could just be a rumor.
Or it's the pork fat that he squeezes directly from his meaty hands.
<shudder>
Pork fat = Ambrosia. It is a miracle substance...
Unless, of course, you're vegantarian. In that case, it's one of the most horrid substances you can think of.
And apparently, virgin goat blood is the bomb!
Oh, Commie? WHo gives a rat's ass where he stole his recipies? It still tastes good.
AFAICT, the only way to "steal" a recipe is to plagiarize the language used to present it. There cannot be a copyright on the actual combination of ingredients.
But I'm still not gonna watch his lame-assed show.
Check it out: A huge rant about Rachel Ray (http://www.livejournal.com/community/good_eats/211326.html) (who also should be shot).
Emeril is considered The Personification of true evil down here in his own hometown of N'awlins.
Working on a banishing spell for him (maybe send his ass to cleveland)
oooh! that's mean! Cleveland is awful...I mean, not that I'm arguing with you..he totally deserves it...I just didn't know you had such a mean streak, V...
8)
:shock: Hasn't Cleveland suffered enough already?
Send him to...oh, shit, I don't know....Lake Oswego!
8)
if you wanna send him to the armpit of Oregon, La Grande is the only option...
or maybe Hermiston.
8)
edit: it just occured to me that the real armpit of Oregon is actually Vacnouver, WA...
Noooo....the armpit of Oregon is Madras. But I still would send him to Lake Oswego, because those assholes deserve it....the only Lake Oswegan who WASN'T an asshole died last week, so...BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
[RIP James Erickson]
on a tangent here, but am I the only one that thinks it's funny that the Tualatin valley Highway is colloquially referred to as the "TV highway"?
:lol:
Quoteon a tangent here, but am I the only one that thinks it's funny that the Tualatin valley Highway is colloquially referred to as the "TV highway"?
Nah, I thought it was odd too, for a long time I thought "Geez, these people sure like their television."
:lol:
Thing I don't like is that some people refer to the highways by name and some by number. I use the names. Then again, I also use the bus and don't own a car, so what the FUCK are people asking ME for driving directions for in the first place?
And then there's Farmington which turns into Beaverton Highway which turns into Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway which turns into Capitol Highway....yeesh.
actually, I thought it was funny cus TV is short for transvestite...
8)
Funny...I'd always figured that Albany would be the armpit of Oregon. :D
Urban armpit = Vancouver, WA (it's just an extension of Portland, and frankly, we've never really considered it to be part of WA)
Rural armpit = LaGrande, per capita methlab capital of the west!
8)
Quote from: VerthaineEmeril is considered The Personification of true evil down here in his own hometown of N'awlins.
Working on a banishing spell for him (maybe send his ass to cleveland)
Hey, V, I wanted to ask you 'cuz you seem the the Person Who Would Know:
Given that the French Quarter is a tourist trap n' all, still; Is the best place for raw Oysters in teh Quarter Felix's?
And are the poBoys at Mothers' really worth the wait?
Quote from: VerthaineEmeril is considered The Personification of true evil down here in his own hometown of N'awlins.
Working on a banishing spell for him (maybe send his ass to cleveland)
Hey! What'd we do to deserve THAT!?
Jeez, couldn't you just shoot our mothers or something?
Quoteactually, I thought it was funny cus TV is short for transvestite...
BWAHAHAHAHAAHA :lol:
Quote(maybe send his ass to cleveland)
Hey! What'd we do to deserve THAT!?
Jeez, couldn't you just shoot our mothers or something?
Damn, does Cleveland really suck that much???? At least you got SNOW this winter, geez!
What's so great about snow if its not in the woods, on a golf course, or on a ski slope? Snow anywhere else really sucks.
What's so great about snow in the city? I'll tell you:
1. You can make rude snowmen on your staircase and upset the neighbors. Last year I made one with a sharpened stick embedded in his torso, which I then doused with red food coloring so it looked like he was bleeding to death. Then I put yellow food coloring on his area so it looked like he pissed himself from fright. :)
2. It confuses the hell out of the drivers and slows traffic down, thus making it very tranquil for a while.
3. The news shows freak out and make theme songs and graphics and stop reporting on every other goddamn thing just because some water fell out of the sky.
4. I'm originally from Boston. It's not winter without snow as far as I'm concerned.
5. If you're in school - no school!
Snow anywhere sucks.
I know this, because I live in the mountains.
snow rules.
if it's gonna be 20 below zero, there might as well be something to go out and play in, as opposed to just freezing your ass off.
and snowmobiles are so much fun.
8)
where do you live? I used to live in Mammoth.
Makes sense to me, Turd. I mean, what else ya gonna do? We had ice storms here last year, 6-8 inches of snow and then sheets of ice...I went up to the mechanic's next door, where they had a sloping driveway, and skated down it. It was good.
Quote from: LMNO
Hey, V, I wanted to ask you 'cuz you seem the the Person Who Would Know:
I didn't know that.
Quote
Given that the French Quarter is a tourist trap n' all,Quote
Yup.Still love it though.Quote
still; Is the best place for raw Oysters in teh Quarter Felix's?
since I can't stand ersters(N.O.for oyster),I'm not qualified to answer that question.
Quote
And are the poBoys at Mothers' really worth the wait?
Is anything really worth the wait
Quote from: agent compassion
4. I'm originally from Boston. It's not winter without snow as far as I'm concerned.
Where'd you live in Bawstun, & how long ago didja leave?
QuoteWhere'd you live in Bawstun, & how long ago didja leave?
South Medfed(Medford) and 1989.
Medford... :shock:
I can see why you moved.
Ah, like ships in the night.... I showed up in Boston around 91, 92.
QuoteMedford... Shocked
I can see why you moved.
It was nice enough when I left it.... :shock: What happened?
No, seriously, it was. I mean, we had Mafia all over the place, and they made some damn good pizza too. :)
Well, for one, they tore down the Bickford's next to the Wellington T stop... :lol:
QuoteWell, for one, they tore down the Bickford's next to the Wellington T stop...
I can't remember that store. Just tell me that the little convenience store on the hill where Somerville turns into Medford is still there!
Damn, they had good steak and cheese....
QuoteVancouver, WA (it's just an extension of Portland,
ITA. It's like an entire city of SE 122nd Avenue.
Bleah.
Quote from: VerthaineEmeril is considered The Personification of true evil down here in his own hometown of N'awlins.
Working on a banishing spell for him (maybe send his ass to cleveland)
That's the sad part, he is not even from N'awlins, he's from
Mass-a-chew-sits.
http://www.emerils.com/emeril/biography.html
'Course he is! How could it not be obvious with that accent.
What he's doing in Nawlins is beyond me...
He's getting fattened up on Gumbo until Wolfgang Puck gets hungry and/or needs a new entree for Spago.
You know it's true.
[has nasty mental image of Emeril, laying on a bed of lettuce and saying "I am the Dish of the Day..."]
:shock:
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Will NOT commit jingoistic sodomy.
Oh, what the hell.
BAM!
Make that a bed of Pancetta, Cheese and Bell Peppers and I think you've got something there.
It's the new California Cuisine. That wolfgang, what will he think of next?
*shakes head in awe*
Llama, I don't know how, but you've implanted a very disturbing image of a Kim Jong Il vs. Emeril death cooking/sodomy match.
There goes another fraction of my innocence. If you'll excuse me, I have to go repress now.
Damn you, Food Network!
I know the man who is in charge of the plumbing in E. L.'s house (look, I can't spell the son of a bitch's name right now...) in Mississippi, and he is going to have 9 bathrooms. 9 I say! Who the hell needs that many? I hope a cottonmouth climbs through his plumbing and gives a lethal bite to the damn cook's asshole. I really do.