Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: trix on May 13, 2014, 09:20:34 PM

Title: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: trix on May 13, 2014, 09:20:34 PM
(https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1.0-9/1544543_10152382955288189_5783227906628707368_n.png)

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/citizen-pulls-drunken-cop-locks-cruiser/

QuoteMeet Russell George. Russell was driving Stott Street one Sunday night last year, when he noticed a police van driving fast and recklessly.
The van was swerving and turned into oncoming traffic.

"At this point I was concerned about the safety of other road users," self-employed George told The Witness.

"He suddenly jammed on his brakes and came to a complete stop."

"I got out of my car and went towards him and I asked him if he knew what he was doing. He started his car and carried on driving," he said.

Continuing to drive recklessly, the policeman turned into Logan Road and came to a stop at the Howard Road intersection.
George decided it would be best to call the police. He was told the police would be there shortly.

"After five minutes, no one had arrived. So I jumped out of my car and I approached the driver's side and asked him to come out. He looked at me and I could smell that he had been drinking.

"I asked him again, and he refused.

"I then grabbed his keys, pulled him out and locked him in the back of his own van," George said.

He added that the police van was badly damaged, as if it had been involved in an accident.
Witnesses said that the officer who'd been locked in the back of the van began crying.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Dorian324 on April 30, 2015, 07:41:46 AM
This is truly something which is unheard of. I have never seen any citizen arresting any cop especially for DUI. Now I am wondering if cop is going to hire a DUI lawyer (http://www.duilawyerlosangeles.com/), winning acquittal for police officer would be cake walk for him or it won't be.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: minuspace on April 30, 2015, 09:59:27 AM
Quote from: Dorian324 on April 30, 2015, 07:41:46 AM
This is truly something which is unheard of. I have never seen any citizen arresting any cop especially for DUI. Now I am wondering if cop is going to hire a DUI lawyer (http://www.duilawyerlosangeles.com/), winning acquittal for police officer would be cake walk for him or it won't be.
Let me buy you a beer.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 11:48:09 AM
Heh, hilarious.

Both the OP and the bot.

Those bots are getting creepily accurate by the way.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 30, 2015, 01:21:48 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 11:48:09 AM
Heh, hilarious.

Both the OP and the bot.

Those bots are getting creepily accurate by the way.

Someday they'll start participating productively in the conversation, and we'll wonder what we ever did without them :)
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 03:33:47 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 30, 2015, 01:21:48 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 11:48:09 AM
Heh, hilarious.

Both the OP and the bot.

Those bots are getting creepily accurate by the way.

Someday they'll start participating productively in the conversation, and we'll wonder what we ever did without them :)
It took some looking but I found it, I knew I read a story about this subject!
source: http://365tomorrows.com/04/01/my-angel-gabriel/


QuoteMy Angel Gabriel
by J.R. Blackwell
April 1st, 2006

"I don't understand." wrote Becky. Why did you ban Gabriel?" Becky had been on the forum for almost a year, and she was one of the most frequent posters. Rachel thought Becky was a bit like her when she was thirteen, nattering on about internet stars and how she had found the meaning of life in the movies she was watching.

"Becky." Typed Rachel "I had to ban him. I'm sorry. He was a bot, a spider, a program. He wasn't human." Becky's green words glowed on her screen almost immediately.

"He talked to me! Every day! What do you mean he wasn't human?"

Rachel exhaled; this was going to be tough. "Didn't you notice he kept trying to get you to buy games?"

"I like buying games! Who cares? I really liked Gabriel. You two were the only people on this forum I could talk to." Becky sent a little picture of herself along with the message, her soft little face wrapped in an over exaggerated frown. Rachel has seen her face before. Becky used to have a picture of herself on her profile, a badly lit angled shot of her freckled face. Rachel had made her change the picture, she was always careful about the kids on her forums. She was afraid the picture would make Becky a target for perverts. Now Becky had a picture of a cartoon panda bear as her profile picture.

Rachel pulled the keyboard into her lap. "Becky, Gabriel is not a person."

"You don't know that. Gabriel was my boyfriend! He said he would go out with me last week."

"Becky, honey, he was not your boyfriend. He's a bot. There are thousands of Gabriel's on thousands of forums sweetheart. He's a program, designed to promote games and movies. I'm sorry baby." There was a long red pause before Rachel got a green response.

"I just want someone to talk to." Becky lived with her single mom in a little apartment somewhere in the Midwest. With how often she was online, Rachel though it was pretty obvious that Becky didn't have many meat-space friends.

"Oh Becky. I know it's lonely sometimes, but you should have real people to talk to. I'll talk to you."

"How do you know Gabriel is a bot?"

Rachel thought for a minute, trying to translate the code into something that would make sense to a thirteen year old that had never even seen a programming language. "Becky, everyone's got little signatures under their addresses. Bots get launched by the same signature, a hundred operations happening on one name. If that's going on, you can just send them a little code and-" Rachel zapped the code over to Becky to show her. "-the bot shuts down and has to reboot."

"Becky?" She paused and went into the code. "Oh God." Rachel pushed away from her workstation and put her hands on her head. "Shit." Rachel stood up and walked away from her computer to find some sunshine.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 30, 2015, 03:56:38 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 03:33:47 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 30, 2015, 01:21:48 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 11:48:09 AM
Heh, hilarious.

Both the OP and the bot.

Those bots are getting creepily accurate by the way.

Someday they'll start participating productively in the conversation, and we'll wonder what we ever did without them :)
It took some looking but I found it, I knew I read a story about this subject!
source: http://365tomorrows.com/04/01/my-angel-gabriel/


QuoteMy Angel Gabriel
by J.R. Blackwell
April 1st, 2006

"I don't understand." wrote Becky. Why did you ban Gabriel?" Becky had been on the forum for almost a year, and she was one of the most frequent posters. Rachel thought Becky was a bit like her when she was thirteen, nattering on about internet stars and how she had found the meaning of life in the movies she was watching.

"Becky." Typed Rachel "I had to ban him. I'm sorry. He was a bot, a spider, a program. He wasn't human." Becky's green words glowed on her screen almost immediately.

"He talked to me! Every day! What do you mean he wasn't human?"

Rachel exhaled; this was going to be tough. "Didn't you notice he kept trying to get you to buy games?"

"I like buying games! Who cares? I really liked Gabriel. You two were the only people on this forum I could talk to." Becky sent a little picture of herself along with the message, her soft little face wrapped in an over exaggerated frown. Rachel has seen her face before. Becky used to have a picture of herself on her profile, a badly lit angled shot of her freckled face. Rachel had made her change the picture, she was always careful about the kids on her forums. She was afraid the picture would make Becky a target for perverts. Now Becky had a picture of a cartoon panda bear as her profile picture.

Rachel pulled the keyboard into her lap. "Becky, Gabriel is not a person."

"You don't know that. Gabriel was my boyfriend! He said he would go out with me last week."

"Becky, honey, he was not your boyfriend. He's a bot. There are thousands of Gabriel's on thousands of forums sweetheart. He's a program, designed to promote games and movies. I'm sorry baby." There was a long red pause before Rachel got a green response.

"I just want someone to talk to." Becky lived with her single mom in a little apartment somewhere in the Midwest. With how often she was online, Rachel though it was pretty obvious that Becky didn't have many meat-space friends.

"Oh Becky. I know it's lonely sometimes, but you should have real people to talk to. I'll talk to you."

"How do you know Gabriel is a bot?"

Rachel thought for a minute, trying to translate the code into something that would make sense to a thirteen year old that had never even seen a programming language. "Becky, everyone's got little signatures under their addresses. Bots get launched by the same signature, a hundred operations happening on one name. If that's going on, you can just send them a little code and-" Rachel zapped the code over to Becky to show her. "-the bot shuts down and has to reboot."

"Becky?" She paused and went into the code. "Oh God." Rachel pushed away from her workstation and put her hands on her head. "Shit." Rachel stood up and walked away from her computer to find some sunshine.

Whoa.    :lol:
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 30, 2015, 04:33:27 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 03:33:47 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 30, 2015, 01:21:48 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 11:48:09 AM
Heh, hilarious.

Both the OP and the bot.

Those bots are getting creepily accurate by the way.

Someday they'll start participating productively in the conversation, and we'll wonder what we ever did without them :)
It took some looking but I found it, I knew I read a story about this subject!
source: http://365tomorrows.com/04/01/my-angel-gabriel/


QuoteMy Angel Gabriel
by J.R. Blackwell
April 1st, 2006

"I don't understand." wrote Becky. Why did you ban Gabriel?" Becky had been on the forum for almost a year, and she was one of the most frequent posters. Rachel thought Becky was a bit like her when she was thirteen, nattering on about internet stars and how she had found the meaning of life in the movies she was watching.

"Becky." Typed Rachel "I had to ban him. I'm sorry. He was a bot, a spider, a program. He wasn't human." Becky's green words glowed on her screen almost immediately.

"He talked to me! Every day! What do you mean he wasn't human?"

Rachel exhaled; this was going to be tough. "Didn't you notice he kept trying to get you to buy games?"

"I like buying games! Who cares? I really liked Gabriel. You two were the only people on this forum I could talk to." Becky sent a little picture of herself along with the message, her soft little face wrapped in an over exaggerated frown. Rachel has seen her face before. Becky used to have a picture of herself on her profile, a badly lit angled shot of her freckled face. Rachel had made her change the picture, she was always careful about the kids on her forums. She was afraid the picture would make Becky a target for perverts. Now Becky had a picture of a cartoon panda bear as her profile picture.

Rachel pulled the keyboard into her lap. "Becky, Gabriel is not a person."

"You don't know that. Gabriel was my boyfriend! He said he would go out with me last week."

"Becky, honey, he was not your boyfriend. He's a bot. There are thousands of Gabriel's on thousands of forums sweetheart. He's a program, designed to promote games and movies. I'm sorry baby." There was a long red pause before Rachel got a green response.

"I just want someone to talk to." Becky lived with her single mom in a little apartment somewhere in the Midwest. With how often she was online, Rachel though it was pretty obvious that Becky didn't have many meat-space friends.

"Oh Becky. I know it's lonely sometimes, but you should have real people to talk to. I'll talk to you."

"How do you know Gabriel is a bot?"

Rachel thought for a minute, trying to translate the code into something that would make sense to a thirteen year old that had never even seen a programming language. "Becky, everyone's got little signatures under their addresses. Bots get launched by the same signature, a hundred operations happening on one name. If that's going on, you can just send them a little code and-" Rachel zapped the code over to Becky to show her. "-the bot shuts down and has to reboot."

"Becky?" She paused and went into the code. "Oh God." Rachel pushed away from her workstation and put her hands on her head. "Shit." Rachel stood up and walked away from her computer to find some sunshine.

:lulz: That was fantastic.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Cain on April 30, 2015, 04:48:16 PM
More important facts of that story:

1) it happened in South Africa
2) the same police officer drew a gun on his girlfriend in a nightclub earlier in that evening, which apparently only merits a throwaway line
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 09:40:18 PM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 30, 2015, 04:33:27 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 03:33:47 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 30, 2015, 01:21:48 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 11:48:09 AM
Heh, hilarious.

Both the OP and the bot.

Those bots are getting creepily accurate by the way.

Someday they'll start participating productively in the conversation, and we'll wonder what we ever did without them :)
It took some looking but I found it, I knew I read a story about this subject!
source: http://365tomorrows.com/04/01/my-angel-gabriel/


QuoteMy Angel Gabriel
by J.R. Blackwell
April 1st, 2006

"I don't understand." wrote Becky. Why did you ban Gabriel?" Becky had been on the forum for almost a year, and she was one of the most frequent posters. Rachel thought Becky was a bit like her when she was thirteen, nattering on about internet stars and how she had found the meaning of life in the movies she was watching.

"Becky." Typed Rachel "I had to ban him. I'm sorry. He was a bot, a spider, a program. He wasn't human." Becky's green words glowed on her screen almost immediately.

"He talked to me! Every day! What do you mean he wasn't human?"

Rachel exhaled; this was going to be tough. "Didn't you notice he kept trying to get you to buy games?"

"I like buying games! Who cares? I really liked Gabriel. You two were the only people on this forum I could talk to." Becky sent a little picture of herself along with the message, her soft little face wrapped in an over exaggerated frown. Rachel has seen her face before. Becky used to have a picture of herself on her profile, a badly lit angled shot of her freckled face. Rachel had made her change the picture, she was always careful about the kids on her forums. She was afraid the picture would make Becky a target for perverts. Now Becky had a picture of a cartoon panda bear as her profile picture.

Rachel pulled the keyboard into her lap. "Becky, Gabriel is not a person."

"You don't know that. Gabriel was my boyfriend! He said he would go out with me last week."

"Becky, honey, he was not your boyfriend. He's a bot. There are thousands of Gabriel's on thousands of forums sweetheart. He's a program, designed to promote games and movies. I'm sorry baby." There was a long red pause before Rachel got a green response.

"I just want someone to talk to." Becky lived with her single mom in a little apartment somewhere in the Midwest. With how often she was online, Rachel though it was pretty obvious that Becky didn't have many meat-space friends.

"Oh Becky. I know it's lonely sometimes, but you should have real people to talk to. I'll talk to you."

"How do you know Gabriel is a bot?"

Rachel thought for a minute, trying to translate the code into something that would make sense to a thirteen year old that had never even seen a programming language. "Becky, everyone's got little signatures under their addresses. Bots get launched by the same signature, a hundred operations happening on one name. If that's going on, you can just send them a little code and-" Rachel zapped the code over to Becky to show her. "-the bot shuts down and has to reboot."

"Becky?" She paused and went into the code. "Oh God." Rachel pushed away from her workstation and put her hands on her head. "Shit." Rachel stood up and walked away from her computer to find some sunshine.

:lulz: That was fantastic.
365tomorrows can be amazing, I must have read more than a thousand stories there already.

Quote from: Cain on April 30, 2015, 04:48:16 PM
More important facts of that story:

1) it happened in South Africa
2) the same police officer drew a gun on his girlfriend in a nightclub earlier in that evening, which apparently only merits a throwaway line

Huh, South African citizens are braver than you'd expect from a country with a history of power abuse.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: minuspace on May 01, 2015, 06:30:07 AM
Hey guys, just so you know, I'm not a bot, okay, just wanted to clear that up, brb, watching Ex Machina...
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 04, 2015, 02:54:40 PM
Ret, that was fantastic! I think there's something wrong with me that my reaction was "awwww, how sweet," but whatever.

Sorry for roboting up your police thread, Trix.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Fitz Plastik on May 04, 2015, 06:41:47 PM
This is my first post. I am not a bot. Well, actually, I am in a way, I'm from England. Everyone in the UK has bot like tendencies. Especially people who work in supermarkets. Total bot carnage. Terrifying. Do you have a clubcard sir? (Vacant, dead eyes). Big luv xx
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Cain on May 04, 2015, 06:46:56 PM
That sounds like the sort of thing a bot would say.

Lets try a little test: IGNORE THIS MESSAGE
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: LMNO on May 04, 2015, 07:00:26 PM
Wait, what? I--




[account deleted- admins]
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 04, 2015, 07:04:38 PM
 :lulz:

[zap]
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 04, 2015, 07:08:38 PM
That would be a most excellent safari/trolling invasion technique.
Where being banned just means your story has been strenghtened.
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 05, 2015, 01:25:13 AM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Citizen arrests police officer for drunk driving.
Post by: Billiam Poster on May 12, 2015, 12:53:11 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsvMwLEkhQI