My computer is better than you all....
10. It doesnt talk back and make stupid assinine comments completely Irrellovent to the current thread/conversation/situation at hand.
9. When I introduce a new "element" (IE piece of hardware/software/person/animal/feeling) to my computer it accepts it, if at first it doesnt accept the new element I can usually bludgeon it into accepting what ever i am currently trying to introduce.
8. If bludgeoning doesnt work, i can usually throw money into my computer to get it back where I want it to be.
7. My computer has a nice low humming noise that covers up the constant ringing in my ears from to many years of listening to people yelling and screaming about whats right/wrong/good/evil/Republican/Democrat/Liberal/Conservative/Gays/Breeders/Kink/depraved/inhumane/and any other topic of conversation where one person will not tolerate another persons views, beliefs, ideas what ever. That and a few to many "Rock Concerts"
6. I can listen to what ever music I want on my computer, it cant tell me that this music is to loud,old,shitty,trendy,underground,satanic
5. I can turn my computer off and ignore it for days on end and when i come back to it, I find that it is exactly how i left it and it still does what I want it to do.
4. I can drink as much beer, smoke as much weed, and look at as much porn as i want on my computer and it doesnt care or judge me, and if it does?
3. I can wipe its memory clean, and start over from scratch in less than 24 hours.
2. It keeps me sane, and when im feeling angry i can use it to kill idiots all over the world in any number of online games.
1. When my computer really pisses me off i can take it out into the woods, and put about 300 rounds of various differant types of ammunition both small and Large into it and there isnt a Bob damned thing that you or anyone else can do about it.
Quote from: Communist Bastard #21. When my computer really pisses me off i can take it out into the woods, and put about 300 rounds of various differant types of ammunition both small and Large into it and there isnt a Bob damned thing that you or anyone else can do about it.
Done this one.
The fine was pretty hefty.
I only got caught once.
If I take into account how many times this has been done... then not so bad.
As long as you are in an area where they dont mind ya target shooting and ya clean up your mess when your done not a thing wrong with it out here...
then a again a few friends and I shot up abunch of old modems, hardrives video cars, etc, and put them back in the original boxes and sent them back to the respective companys saying that their products did not meet our stress test requirments.
Sure, ok, but can your computer laugh at your jokes and make you lasagna? Can your computer make you tea when you're sick and give you backrubs?
Mine can.
nope, but i can order it from my computer so it might as well...
Quote from: Communist Bastard #2As long as you are in an area where they dont mind ya target shooting and ya clean up your mess when your done not a thing wrong with it out here...
then a again a few friends and I shot up abunch of old modems, hardrives video cars, etc, and put them back in the original boxes and sent them back to the respective companys saying that their products did not meet our stress test requirments.
thats what we thought as well so we went to the local shoot at cans spot and cleaned up after the bastards that were there before us... and then started blasting away.
And trust me there is not much you can say about this situation that I don't already know, I was the one with a lawyer and went to court about it.
So I got screwed ( well not so much because like I said busted once but it was done many more times before and after... and the team split the actual costs)
what teh hell did they charge you with? since when is it illeagal to shoot your own property?
Quote from: Communist Bastard #2what teh hell did they charge you with? since when is it illeagal to shoot your own property?
well lets see here... you know the hard drives and stuff ?!?!
the sheriff and the judge agreed that a bullet could have bounced on one of those and that meant we were being reckless.
it's the same reason that you shouldn't shoot straight up into the air.
bullshit but thats what they said.
( this is the short explanation the longer version is on transcripts)
and that's why civilized folk don't live in wenatchee...
we wanna shoot stuff, we just go to Ever-rot or (not very)White Center...that way it's hard for the local constabulary to single any one shooter out...
8)
24hrs?
yer slow...
8)
Quote from: HoshikoSure, ok, but can your computer laugh at your jokes and make you lasagna? Can your computer make you tea when you're sick and give you backrubs?
Mine can.
My computer is perfectly capable of making me tea and giving me backrubs.
But it refuses to do so until it gets a raise. :evil:
That said, I'd say it's obvious that Nikoli's computer is superior to me in every way imaginable, except for reason #3.
My memory is wiped clean at least every 24 hours.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
My memory is wiped clean at least every 24 hours.
Must be all the tequila...
my computer will kill the world!
Quote from: lolmonstermy breath will kill the world!
well, no surprises there...I warned you about those kippered herring snacks...
8)
lol.
you're just jealous that my penis is larger than yours.
do they even have girls in Canada? does it do you any good?
8)
no we copulate with teh mighty sasquatch females and tamed sex slave beavers. the famous candian actresses americans have masturbated over for decades were actually transvestites sent to send gayvibes and start a gay revolution, conquering america with homoerotic socialist-liberalism, which is the compulsory political stance of all patriotic anf ree canadians not in re-education centers. all your man ass are belong to us!
:roll: :lol:
huh...well, that goes a long way towards explaining New Brunswick, then...
8)
Quote from: That Communist Bastarddo they even have girls in Canada?
Some of the most attractive strippers I ever saw were in Montreal.
So, yes.
QuoteSome of the most attractive strippers I ever saw were in Montreal
Were they removing paint at the time?
8)
most of the really hot strippers im Montreal (or Quebec City, or Windsor) are american girls who realized they can make twice as much $$$ in much better working conditions on that side of the border...
8)
And he knows this because he has helped to finance many an american girls lifestyle up there....
that or he scared them off and the only recourse they had, was to run to canada and hide their shame by showing their beutifal bodies off to hordes of drunken, assholes, who would rather pay to look than spend the time getting a nice piece themselves.
as for me, i have been into all of two strip clubs, one was when my g/f at the time went to apply and the other was with Senior GOAT the night we arrived in LA and i would hardly say that was a class establishment...
are you kidding, dude?
the Cheetah club is the stripclub against which all other strip clubs are judged!
why, it was even in the movie "Showgirls"!!!
and really, is there a better strip club on earth than the one that your tattoo artist's girlfriend tends bar at and gives you free drinks all night long?
not to mention the best quality cocaine I've ever come across in my life...
hell, you'd probably have to go to the Phillipines to find a better time in a strip club than the Cheetah...
8)
well, is the cheetah like some other canadian strip clubs in keeping with a hands-on policy?
Having also been to LA's famous Cheetah Club, I must concur that it was one of the better strip clubs I have ever been to.
Well chosen. Yummy.
I've only been to the Cheetah in Windsor once, and was only there for about 20 minutes when one of my buddies got into a fight with a bounce and we got booted out, so I really couldn't tell you...the Cheetah Club I was talking about was the one in LA...
8)
Quote from: GOATdo they even have girls in Canada? does it do you any good?
8)
Nah. Just goats and frenchies.
fucking pea-soup eaters!
8)
My computer brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like "it's better than yours'"
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.
LMAO! HURAHHH!!! FOR MAKER'S MARK! i used to hate Whiskey but this stuff rocks...
figures...you try to tell someone, and they just keep telling you you're full of shit, and maybe you are, but you know your whiskey, and then one day they come running up to you all "dude, I love the Maker's Mark" like you hadn't been trying to pour that shit down their throat for years with no success...
8)
ya know what, you sir can "Piss Off" I had to do something last night that i have been dreading doing for a long time and should have done a long time ago. I didnt even taste the stuff it just has alcohal in it...granted i am feeling it this morning
::hands you coffee::
Hmmmmmmm Coffffffeeeeeee! is it one of those Death by chocolate coffee's you where telling me about?
::nods head::
no
Quote from: Nikoli Volkoffya know what, you sir can "Piss Off" I had to do something last night that i have been dreading doing for a long time and should have done a long time ago. I didnt even taste the stuff it just has alcohal in it...granted i am feeling it this morning
if you're talking about what I think you're talking about, then I say to you sir, congratulations! Now, are you ready to quit fucking around and come get an unhealthy dose of Siberia?
8)
i dont know, i have been gettin a pretty good unhealthy dose of something here... most people would call it alchohal poisoning, me I call it reality filtration.... been good and drunk since 7pm Friday, and its 830am sunday and i am still drinking... whiskey went a go go, so now its down to the good ol' PBR buddy....
let's hear it for PBR! Punk Beer Rocks!
I won your eastbound ride at poker last night (and then some). Lemme know if you're ready.
8)
well as soon as i can sell the car and bike i will have a large chunk of cash set aside, that and my tax return should give me enough to make the trip, I am seriously thinking of not taking anything that will not fight in a carry on and two bags, so clothes and a few books. SO when ever you are ready to send that I should be ready to use it, I have work till the end of this month and after that not to sure whats going on here... let me know when ya do send that so i can keep and eye out on the mail.
your timetable just got rapidly accelerated. your presence is not requested, but NEEDED ASAP. Rake is a tard. you know what I'm talking about.
8)