It seemed to me that we could really use a thread like this. I'll go first:
Me: My housemate says his pants fell down at the gas station while he was holding a bottle of beer and a bottle of wine.
BF: Oh I like him already.
Me: Now he's in the kitchen with his guitar singing a song about sausages.
:lulz:
Jim: "We're gonna have PDEQ up our arses if we don't figure out what to do about that leaking condensate tank."
Me: "This is <company name>. The truth is, if you hang around long enough, all of the regulatory agencies turn up on your doorstep, eager to be the first to take us down, and all sticky from touching themselves."
Jim: "..."
:lulz:
Small Child: But the zoo would be closed.
QGP: If I'm feeding you to an alligator, I'm already breaking into the zoo. That's assumed in the premise.
Useless Aunt: I walked into the wrong part of this conversation.
Small child to Norwegian coworker:
Why are you so white?
Me:
Because God hates his people and doesn't allow them to see the sun.
Brother: So you play Magic: The Gathering huh?
Me: No JACKASS! I have a thyroid problem!
:lulz:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Climate change denier: Can you prove the sky is blue? Scientist haven't proved it is REAL! There is evidence the facts, evidence, and data was made up. Just ask AL Gore, the guy who got rich off all the lies!
Me: Scientists haven't proven that the sky is real?
Mr. Suu: *totally joking and in a redneck accent as he flops on the couch* "Woman! Get me a beer!"
Me: *without looking up from work" red, IPA, pale bock, kolsch, your gruit, or the stout?
Mr. Suu: "Goddamnit, you weren't supposed to take me seriously!"
Me: The Aeon Flux movie sucks, it's an excuse to make Charlize Theron as close to naked as possible. She's even wearing more clothes than she did in the cartoon!
Mr. Suu: What cartoon?
Me:....WHERE WERE YOU THE ENTIRE 1990S?
In regards to Al Gore making mad bank off of the AGW scam:
Denier:
Do you have any idea how things work, Kev?
1. Politicians try to justify this to raise taxes on companies/people/etc.. What was it that Ovaga just did last week? Something about taxes? On companies? Pay attention.
2. They are invested in "green companies".
3. Said "green companies" make things to "clean up" manufacturing processes, etc..
I can lay out about 100 more reasons, but hopefully you're smart enough to figure out what's going on right now. Can't you?
Me:
1) Oh, taxes. That's what it's about. I had no idea that taxes were so lucrative to former government employees.
2) Poor investment. It's better to invest in petroleum. I'd love to invest in the stuff. It would be wicked hypocritical, but, well, money.
3) Cleaning up manufacturing processes are actually good for capitalism. You know, if you have a long view on your bottom line. Class action lawsuits, fines, and the general health and productivity of your workers is of benefit to your pocket.
So, yeah, I do understand how things work, and I have been paying attention.
Quote from: The Suu on June 28, 2014, 02:57:01 AM
Me: The Aeon Flux movie sucks, it's an excuse to make Charlize Theron as close to naked as possible. She's even wearing more clothes than she did in the cartoon!
Mr. Suu: What cartoon?
Me:....WHERE WERE YOU THE ENTIRE 1990S?
You have to admit, getting Charlize Theron as close to naked as possible is not, in itself, such a bad thing.
I think this may be the most profound thing I ever wrote:
(http://i.imgur.com/SEpUdwC.png)
Quote from: Cain on July 02, 2014, 11:45:20 AM
I think this may be the most profound thing I ever wrote:
(http://i.imgur.com/SEpUdwC.png)
:slowclap:
Cain, at some point you posted a line, not sure if it was yours, about the disconnect in the SJW dialog... something about how one one end of the spectrum, trans kids are being thrown out of their homes and beaten, but most of the net dialog is about not offending somebody by using the wrong pronoun --- You got a copy of that floating around? I want to savor it some more.
Quote from: Cain on July 02, 2014, 11:45:20 AM
I think this may be the most profound thing I ever wrote:
(http://i.imgur.com/SEpUdwC.png)
:lulz:
Quote from: Cramulus on July 02, 2014, 02:04:40 PM
Cain, at some point you posted a line, not sure if it was yours, about the disconnect in the SJW dialog... something about how one one end of the spectrum, trans kids are being thrown out of their homes and beaten, but most of the net dialog is about not offending somebody by using the wrong pronoun --- You got a copy of that floating around? I want to savor it some more.
That was Scott Alexander, aka Yvain from LessWrong.
http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/04/22/right-is-the-new-left/
http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/05/12/weak-men-are-superweapons/
http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/05/30/the-wonderful-thing-about-triggers/
http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/06/14/living-by-the-sword/
http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/05/18/against-bravery-debates/
I think it was one of those, though I'm not entirely sure.
Quote from: Cain on July 02, 2014, 11:45:20 AM
I think this may be the most profound thing I ever wrote:
(http://i.imgur.com/SEpUdwC.png)
:lulz:
FB status:
QuoteSo, I saw this post somewhere in the past week in passing, and I have to comment on it. I forget where and I can't find it now. But any of you who are Trekkies (I'm sorry, but we're not Trekkers. You're a dork, own it) probably have seen it. It's that Date A Trekkie ad that has a blond woman in a TNG era engineering uniform giving the Vulcan salute while being human and smiling. The post was the sort of "spot-the-poser/what's-wrong-with-this-picture" sort of thing. The only thing that I could spot being wrong was that the uniform was ill-fitting. In the opposite direction, in that the uniform was not visibly constricting. Look dude. The lady is obviously a model doing an ad and possibly not a Trekkie. Maybe she is a Trekkie anyway. I don't see what's poser about it though, other than, perhaps, she's a cute female human giving/returning a Vulcan salute. Like you haven't seen a Frenchman played by an Englishman fixing Sarek's hand in the salute, or, strangely, being able to do the nerve pinch after the mindmeld. If you're going to nerd-shame the girls, don't complain about forever alone. FFS, it's Star Trek. It's only slightly more internally consistent than the Bible.
FB status:
"There's a theory of my brain being stuck in two different dimensions. I get so mad, I yell, and talk fast I sound like I'm barking.
Also the giant amount of Conflation that occurs in conversations with me is scary enough. I don't choose to tune out, or slip out, but god damn it I admit it makes the conversations more fun. Somehow I believe my brain is trying hard to stop me from killing all of you. My obsessive compulsion to detail when I troll, lurk, and design is something I learned to admire now.
A year ago I thought maybe just maybe I might be slight autistic since it tends to have a wide spectrum in conditions.
Also I'm getting older which means I'm slacking off when it comes to hating you all. That and my newfound love for singing has occupied my time. I hope I get into the biomedical engineering field. I want to see if I can implant a device that can monitor and record the stupid things I say. My gift to you jackasses for giving me so many lulz over the years. I'm like that Jesus guy except I don't feed the poor. I grind their dead bodies into gun powder, and blast tea baggers with them. No one said I have to go down quietly. In fact I'm going down laughing until I shit my pants. Shitting your pants brings you closer to God. Why else would God allows us to eat at Freebirds, and Hard Rock Cafe.".
Whoa...
:mittens: