After a series of somewhat difficult conversations with Villager, who is adamant about leaving Boston, and quite likely, New England, we're eventually going to have to figure out where to go. Time frame is basically after getting my BS. Grad school will be elsewhere. Ireland and the United Kingdom are on the table, but it should be noted that those are options because if I'm going to be far from one side of the family, I want to be close to the other. I would prefer to stay west of the Atlantic, east of the Mississippi, and north of the Mason-Dixon. Areas outside of that are negotiable, except for California, and most likely the southwest in general. Place needs biology career opportunities, obviously, but large cities discouraged. And no, I don't want to leave Boston, and never have. So, help me figure out where I would be willing to go.
She and I can agree on English speaking world, not New York City, nor Australia.
How far are you willing to go?
It sounds like Canada may be on the cards, but South Africa, less so.
Also, why?
Canada is on the table, south Africa is not. And why to weigh part?
I assume that weigh is an autocorrected which.
I meant why as to the need to leave Boston if you're not particularly keen. Urges to see the world or other? I'm guessing that your reasons here will probably influence where you want to end up.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 07:20:59 AM
I would prefer to stay west of the Atlantic, east of the Mississippi, and north of the Mason-Dixon. Areas outside of that are negotiable, except for California, and most likely the southwest in general.
So...?
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-EOfCW2h_sFA/U8POMZADe9I/AAAAAAAABE0/7ONHjUlj5p0/w809-h553-no/US+NE.png)
QuotePlace needs biology career opportunities, obviously, but large cities discouraged.
You may need to seriously reconsider that one.
Alaska seems promising.
The "biology career opportunities" may not be what you imagined, but if there was ever a place to conduct mad science experiments on people hidden in the wilderness, you couldn't pick a better location.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 12:30:21 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 07:20:59 AM
I would prefer to stay west of the Atlantic, east of the Mississippi, and north of the Mason-Dixon. Areas outside of that are negotiable, except for California, and most likely the southwest in general.
So...?
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-EOfCW2h_sFA/U8POMZADe9I/AAAAAAAABE0/7ONHjUlj5p0/w809-h553-no/US+NE.png)
QuotePlace needs biology career opportunities, obviously, but large cities discouraged.
You may need to seriously reconsider that one.
I'm just going to second everything that Alphapance says here.
You apparently want to stay in the Northeast, which means big cities by default, but you don't want to live in one, yet you're not going to find a job in your field outside of one. You need to think more clearly about what you want to do. Are you going to do lab work? Or work at a zoo? All of this matters. But you're not going to find a decent paying biology job outside of teaching in non-urban areas. What you may consider is finding a lesser populated corner of the Megalopolis and commuting to Boston or New York for work, which is what we're planning to do. I'm not getting a good museum job in the boondocks where Jeff wants to live. He knows this, so we're looking for a compromise. You may want to do the same. There's a lot that the Northeast has to offer outside of HOLY FUCK NEW YORK BOSTON PROVIDENCE HARTFORD PEOPLE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, but all those cities are connected.
Not to mention, our universities here are fucking top notch, dude.
But if you seriously want a good biology job and graduate education, I'm going to tell you flat out to go to the Tampa Bay area. Yes, I know, Florida, but...USF is an amazing school, and you will get internships working at Busch Gardens, Lowry Park, The Big Cat Rescue, Clearwater Marine Aquarium, etc. There's dozens of amazing preserves, and good neighborhoods outside of the main drags. However it's densely populated like Boston, you're looking at 4-5mil people in an area the size of Rhode Island. But the opportunities may overthrow the country living factor. Plus, it's New England South there. You'll meet more people from up North than are actually native.
Then after you finish school, go to the Nature Coast, which is about 100 miles north of the bay. It's 3 counties of protected land and coast. No tourists, just park lands and preserves. I'm talking completely untouched beaches, and the Crystal River area is amazing. They are always looking for rangers and biologists.
Also: Villager wants to leave New England, I get that's why you're doing this. So.
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-00BcsVMCqyA/U8Pi2Jv7jkI/AAAAAAAABFU/bLM2Rxztiwo/w809-h553-no/US+NE2.png)
Perhaps it could help if we knew why she wants to leave New England. Because if it's the weather, you're not gonna get anything better in what's essentially the Great Lakes region.
Suu and the Alphaman beat me to it. Basically, too many parameters and none of them seem prioritized.
As for Hartford, the only thing biological there is the scum and miasma that infests it. The city is mostly financial jobs - insurance, financial planners etc. Don't know what opportunities there are in biology in other CT towns/cities. Would have to look into that...
She hates it here for multiple reasons. Which I find baffling, obviously because I don't want to leave. She said college towns are ok, just not large cities. I'm still trying to figure out what the he'll that means. Because she's ok with Philadelphia. But either way the city thing had wiggle room. I think she's defining city differently than I am. I'm defining it as a large population center she's defining it as I fucking hate Boston. As far as the careers, I was kinda pissed, because I chose biology partially on its employability in Boston.
She described life here as being set on hard mode which, you know, is kinda subjective. I consider frequent droughts, tornados, venomous fauna, etc to be hard mode. Shoveling out your parking space and coming it, not so much. But I'm apparently the only thing keeping her here.
QuoteShe described life here as being set on hard mode which, you know, is kinda subjective.
Can I suggest that you need to dig a little more into that? Uprooting from a place you like for fuzzy reasons (which may well travel with you if you don't deal with the real/root cause) doesn't sound like a good move.
Considering you've chosen your education based on the employability in the area, it may just be a different part of town you need to move to.
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Boston is the hard mode, and she's OK with Philly?
Boston population (roughly): 7,600,000, crime index (out of 100): 76.8. The hottest month is July, with a mean temperature of 73.4 °F. The coldest month is January, with a mean of 29.0 °F. The city averages 43.8 inches of precipitation a year, with 43.8 inches of snowfall per season.
Philly population (roughly): 7,146,706, crime index (out of 100): 86.5. The January daily average is 33.0 °F though, in a normal winter, the temperature frequently rises to 50 °F during thaws and dips to 10 °F. July averages 78.1 °F. Snowfall is highly variable, with some winters bringing only light snow and others bringing several major snowstorms, with the normal seasonal snowfall standing at 22.4 in. Precipitation is generally spread throughout the year, at an average annual rate of 41.5 inches.
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 14, 2014, 02:35:00 PM
QuoteShe described life here as being set on hard mode which, you know, is kinda subjective.
Can I suggest that you need to dig a little more into that? Uprooting from a place you like for fuzzy reasons (which may well travel with you if you don't deal with the real/root cause) doesn't sound like a good move.
Considering you've chosen your education based on the employability in the area, it may just be a different part of town you need to move to.
I've suggested that, or moving to a different part of Massachusetts, or to a commutable area of southern New England. She'd be ok with Newport, Rhode Island, if the amount of salary to cost wasn't worse than Boston. But, ability to commute to a city seems to be something doable (indeed, necessary, really if I'm to get a job.)
I've tried to feel around and see if there was any possible way to stay, but that's not happening. She's leaving. If I want to join her, I can. If I want to grad school here, I can, but she won't be here for it.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 02:39:21 PM
Boston is the hard mode, and she's OK with Philly?
Boston population (roughly): 7,600,000, crime index (out of 100): 76.8. The hottest month is July, with a mean temperature of 73.4 °F. The coldest month is January, with a mean of 29.0 °F. The city averages 43.8 inches of precipitation a year, with 43.8 inches of snowfall per season.
Philly population (roughly): 7,146,706, crime index (out of 100): 86.5. The January daily average is 33.0 °F though, in a normal winter, the temperature frequently rises to 50 °F during thaws and dips to 10 °F. July averages 78.1 °F. Snowfall is highly variable, with some winters bringing only light snow and others bringing several major snowstorms, with the normal seasonal snowfall standing at 22.4 in. Precipitation is generally spread throughout the year, at an average annual rate of 41.5 inches.
She fucking hates Boston. At least Philly is not Boston and kinda far from it.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Hang on a minute.
Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.
I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.
People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Tampa.
I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:45:47 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 02:39:21 PM
Boston is the hard mode, and she's OK with Philly?
Boston population (roughly): 7,600,000, crime index (out of 100): 76.8. The hottest month is July, with a mean temperature of 73.4 °F. The coldest month is January, with a mean of 29.0 °F. The city averages 43.8 inches of precipitation a year, with 43.8 inches of snowfall per season.
Philly population (roughly): 7,146,706, crime index (out of 100): 86.5. The January daily average is 33.0 °F though, in a normal winter, the temperature frequently rises to 50 °F during thaws and dips to 10 °F. July averages 78.1 °F. Snowfall is highly variable, with some winters bringing only light snow and others bringing several major snowstorms, with the normal seasonal snowfall standing at 22.4 in. Precipitation is generally spread throughout the year, at an average annual rate of 41.5 inches.
She fucking hates Boston. At least Philly is not Boston and kinda far from it.
Philly is fucking horrible. The end.
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 14, 2014, 02:46:22 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Hang on a minute.
Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.
I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.
People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.
She hates relying on it for work. She's only done that since working in the medical area. There's just no parking. That's more tied in with her job than anything. Which happens to be in Boston. Which she kinda fucking hates.
She started hating it here, apparently, since she moved out of her parents house. She doesn't really like her neighbors, she doesn't really like the neighborhood. She wants to live in a quiet area.
Conversely, I prefer public transportation because of its cheapness and lower environmental impact. I'd rather that than needing a car.
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 02:55:00 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Tampa.
I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?
I did. Phone posting, had to clarify the sitch. I might be willing to do that. It would also be convenient for when we're retired. I'll have to look into it more. Disadvantage is distance from both Boston and Ireland.
The way I see it, a place with a low cost of living for rent/supplies will usually not offer anything substantial in terms of jobs in the biology fields. This would imply either getting a job in the area that is not in biology (which could easily mean a reduced income, making the low cost of living moot), or getting a job with an extended commute, adding both social and financial cost (social cost = a daily 2 hour+ commute reduces time spent as a couple), again rendering the cost of living meaningless.
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 14, 2014, 02:46:22 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Hang on a minute.
Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.
I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.
People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.
I think that I should point out that since she and I realize this is probably the biggest decision we'll ever make together, we know we're going to have to compromise quite a bit, and weigh the pros and cons. Her most important parameter is that she fucking hates Boston. Mine are there's no fucking way I'm moving to California, and the further we move from Boston, if it also involves moving further away from Ireland, the less happy I'm going to be about it. Unless both dad and grandpa die in the next three years at which point I have no particularly strong reason to go there, since I'll probably start vacationing in Boston instead.
It sounds to me like she doesn't have a clue of the world outside of Boston. Moving to New Hampshire from Providence has DRIVEN ME FUCKING CRAZY. Not because it's not nice here, because it is, but the lack of convenient anything sucks. Remember that if you choose to leave the hub, because once you're out, it's a different world.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 03:03:10 PM
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 02:55:00 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Tampa.
I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?
I did. Phone posting, had to clarify the sitch. I might be willing to do that. It would also be convenient for when we're retired. I'll have to look into it more. Disadvantage is distance from both Boston and Ireland.
2 international airports, access to I-75 and I-4, and a full service Amtrak station.
Ok. So, the default response here seems to be she "fucking hates Boston".
I think you two are going to have to unpack that. A lot. The initial reasons about why she hates it are immediately contradicted by her willingness to live in essentially the same city, but with a worse crime rate (Philly).
A gut reaction to a place is fine, but for a major life change such as this, you both need to know what's triggering that reaction. Because it's not "snow/cost of living/people suck/public transportation".
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 03:09:13 PM
The way I see it, a place with a low cost of living for rent/supplies will usually not offer anything substantial in terms of jobs in the biology fields. This would imply either getting a job in the area that is not in biology (which could easily mean a reduced income, making the low cost of living moot), or getting a job with an extended commute, adding both social and financial cost (social cost = a daily 2 hour+ commute reduces time spent as a couple), again rendering the cost of living meaningless.
I agree with you. It's probably going to come down to getting a car, or her dropping me off at a bus stop. I'm not in anyway at this point willing to make my biology degree moot. I went back to school mostly for her. I'm not starting over again, so I'm going to be a biologist one way or another.
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 03:15:03 PM
It sounds to me like she doesn't have a clue of the world outside of Boston. Moving to New Hampshire from Providence has DRIVEN ME FUCKING CRAZY. Not because it's not nice here, because it is, but the lack of convenient anything sucks. Remember that if you choose to leave the hub, because once you're out, it's a different world.
That's very much crossed my mind. And the last thing I want to happen is to move to a place that a couple of months in decides is not for her, but now I'm in grad school and now we're stuck there and neither of us want to be there.
Incidentally, where else has she lived?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 03:20:52 PM
Ok. So, the default response here seems to be she "fucking hates Boston".
I think you two are going to have to unpack that. A lot. The initial reasons about why she hates it are immediately contradicted by her willingness to live in essentially the same city, but with a worse crime rate (Philly).
A gut reaction to a place is fine, but for a major life change such as this, you both need to know what's triggering that reaction. Because it's not "snow/cost of living/people suck/public transportation".
I'm working on that. Those are reasons she hates Boston, and taken individually they're not deal breakers. The more Bostonlike the less happy she'll be about it. It's also worth noting that I am the only reason she's still here. Our friends and our families are not. And those are two reasons why I don't want to leave. She hates her family, I hate her family too, so I can understand that, but she only feels like she has a handful of real friends, and she questions the motives of one, since she wonders if their friendship is more of one of convenience (,said friend lives downstairs and is blind but also apparently slightly sociopathic. My reaction to that is uh... but she's blind, and your her closest friend, both in friendship and in literal proximity. Of course she relies on you. But I also don't see their whole friendship on a daily basis)
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 03:27:05 PM
Incidentally, where else has she lived?
West Roxbury. She's lived in two places, including her current neighborhood of Adams Village.
Maybe she just fucking hates Irish people :lulz:
I don't want to make this thread about myself, but let me give you our scenario, and maybe it will help:
Jeff hates people. Period. He hates cities. He hates Boston, he REALLY hates Providence, and he exceptionally hates New York City. He's retiring from the Navy in 10 years. That gives me enough time to finish my MA, float around with him, potentially get a PhD, and nail a high-paying curatoral gig. I love cities, I navigate them well, I handle the people well and I love public transportation.
Where are the museums with the collections I want to work with?
New York City, Boston, and Providence.
The words we are using now is called, "Commutable distance." Where can we live where I will have access to a train or bus to get to work on a daily basis in one of these cities?
The Metro North runs as far north as Dutchess County NY, that's a nice area in the Hudson Highlands south of the Catskills, and also up to Danbury, CT, which requires Western Connecticut, and gross, but I can get to Manhattan in 2 hours on the local trains. Express...an hour and a half.
The longest MBTA purple line runs to Wickford, RI now, which is a town I love that isn't extremely populated. I can also get that train into Providence. Commuter buses serve New Hampshire, and so far we're liking Portsmouth. the C&J terminal is about 3 miles away from my complex right now. I can be in Boston in an hour. I would get comparable times from Nashua and Manchester, should we live in the less populated areas surrounding those cities.
We already decided we're not living in Massachusetts, and I don't like Western Connecticut, so that leaves us with New York, New Jersey, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire. New Jersey outside of the disgusting "Jersey" areas DOES NOT SUCK. Northern NJ closer to the PA border is still serviced by NJ Transit trains. Either way, we're in it for a high cost of living and potentially shitty taxes outside of NH, but that's the price you pay for living in the Northeast, but should be offset with a good paying career.
But wait, there's more. Military benefits. Where can we live with proximity to a base with a commissary and exchanges to help save money, and also have access to healthcare through the VA? There's a large ANG base in Newburgh, NY, that has Metro-North access, and is in the Highlands on the river. Ding.
But that's just one option. See? This gets way more involved than, "I hate Boston, I hate snow and I want to move forever." You need to sit down with your girl and start taking this seriously.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 03:25:45 PM
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 03:15:03 PM
It sounds to me like she doesn't have a clue of the world outside of Boston. Moving to New Hampshire from Providence has DRIVEN ME FUCKING CRAZY. Not because it's not nice here, because it is, but the lack of convenient anything sucks. Remember that if you choose to leave the hub, because once you're out, it's a different world.
That's very much crossed my mind. And the last thing I want to happen is to move to a place that a couple of months in decides is not for her, but now I'm in grad school and now we're stuck there and neither of us want to be there.
From Portsmouth I can take the municipal bus to UNH, and the C&J to Boston. I can also take it to the grocery store...but it only runs on the hour, always runs late, and not past 9pm or on Sundays at all.
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 03:41:35 PM
I don't want to make this thread about myself, but let me give you our scenario, and maybe it will help:
Jeff hates people. Period. He hates cities. He hates Boston, he REALLY hates Providence, and he exceptionally hates New York City. He's retiring from the Navy in 10 years. That gives me enough time to finish my MA, float around with him, potentially get a PhD, and nail a high-paying curatoral gig. I love cities, I navigate them well, I handle the people well and I love public transportation.
Where are the museums with the collections I want to work with?
New York City, Boston, and Providence.
The words we are using now is called, "Commutable distance." Where can we live where I will have access to a train or bus to get to work on a daily basis in one of these cities?
The Metro North runs as far north as Dutchess County NY, that's a nice area in the Hudson Highlands south of the Catskills, and also up to Danbury, CT, which requires Western Connecticut, and gross, but I can get to Manhattan in 2 hours on the local trains. Express...an hour and a half.
The longest MBTA purple line runs to Wickford, RI now, which is a town I love that isn't extremely populated. I can also get that train into Providence. Commuter buses serve New Hampshire, and so far we're liking Portsmouth. the C&J terminal is about 3 miles away from my complex right now. I can be in Boston in an hour. I would get comparable times from Nashua and Manchester, should we live in the less populated areas surrounding those cities.
We already decided we're not living in Massachusetts, and I don't like Western Connecticut, so that leaves us with New York, New Jersey, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire. New Jersey outside of the disgusting "Jersey" areas DOES NOT SUCK. Northern NJ closer to the PA border is still serviced by NJ Transit trains. Either way, we're in it for a high cost of living and potentially shitty taxes outside of NH, but that's the price you pay for living in the Northeast, but should be offset with a good paying career.
But wait, there's more. Military benefits. Where can we live with proximity to a base with a commissary and exchanges to help save money, and also have access to healthcare through the VA? There's a large ANG base in Newburgh, NY, that has Metro-North access, and is in the Highlands on the river. Ding.
But that's just one option. See? This gets way more involved than, "I hate Boston, I hate snow and I want to move forever." You need to sit down with your girl and start taking this seriously.
I am taking this seriously. She wants me to start thinking about what I need in a place, and what places work. That's the point we are in the conversation. Surprise surprise, the place that best matches my needs is the Greater Boston Area. So, I'm going to have to find what makes a place good enough.
Personal note, seriously consider the time you are willing to spend commuting.
I've done the 2hours+/day thing and it really fucking sucks after a while. I got increasingly concious of the level of time I was spending just shifting my arse from A-B. Shifting my arse around the world is not one of the ways I have lots of fun. Fun is at the destinations.
Consider - A 2 hour commute a day X 5 days = 10 hours at best (assume no traffic/service fuckups). Hours in a week = 168.
So that's 6% of your week you just spend travelling around. At best.
Anyway, I'd strongly suggest living as close as possible to where-ever you're going to be working, even if it does impact on the cost of living. As long as you're pulling in more than needs to go out, you're good.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 03:49:00 PM
I am taking this seriously. She wants me to start thinking about what I need in a place, and what places work. That's the point we are in the conversation. Surprise surprise, the place that best matches my needs is the Greater Boston Area. So, I'm going to have to find what makes a place good enough.
There's plenty of nice areas outside of the city within a 45 minute train ride. I cannot guarantee the quality of snow removal anywhere in said areas, though. She may have to accept that for now, this is where you need to be until other opportunities come around.
Right now, it sounds more like Villager is being way too finite about leaving without considering what's best for you.
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 14, 2014, 03:54:05 PM
Personal note, seriously consider the time you are willing to spend commuting.
I've done the 2hours+/day thing and it really fucking sucks after a while. I got increasingly concious of the level of time I was spending just shifting my arse from A-B. Shifting my arse around the world is not one of the ways I have lots of fun. Fun is at the destinations.
Consider - A 2 hour commute a day X 5 days = 10 hours at best (assume no traffic/service fuckups). Hours in a week = 168.
So that's 6% of your week you just spend travelling around. At best.
Anyway, I'd strongly suggest living as close as possible to where-ever you're going to be working, even if it does impact on the cost of living. As long as you're pulling in more than needs to go out, you're good.
Yeah, I like not having to commute too long if I can help it.
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 03:56:59 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 03:49:00 PM
I am taking this seriously. She wants me to start thinking about what I need in a place, and what places work. That's the point we are in the conversation. Surprise surprise, the place that best matches my needs is the Greater Boston Area. So, I'm going to have to find what makes a place good enough.
There's plenty of nice areas outside of the city within a 45 minute train ride. I cannot guarantee the quality of snow removal anywhere in said areas, though. She may have to accept that for now, this is where you need to be until other opportunities come around.
Right now, it sounds more like Villager is being way too finite about leaving without considering what's best for you.
This is not an immediate thing. She knows that I'm stuck here til around 2017. This does have immediate impacts on me, as it effects what might be a good idea as far as transferring to a four year is. If I'm not going to grad school at MIT, then maybe I should finish up my bachelor's there in order to make me look better outside of Massachusetts.
Okay, that makes more sense. The vibe I was getting from your posts was, "I want to leave Boston NOW and you're coming with me. Fuck this place. The End."
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 02:55:00 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Tampa.
I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?
I don't think the kind of biology in Tampa is the kind of biology Twid is planning on doing.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 03:21:27 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 03:09:13 PM
The way I see it, a place with a low cost of living for rent/supplies will usually not offer anything substantial in terms of jobs in the biology fields. This would imply either getting a job in the area that is not in biology (which could easily mean a reduced income, making the low cost of living moot), or getting a job with an extended commute, adding both social and financial cost (social cost = a daily 2 hour+ commute reduces time spent as a couple), again rendering the cost of living meaningless.
I agree with you. It's probably going to come down to getting a car, or her dropping me off at a bus stop. I'm not in anyway at this point willing to make my biology degree moot. I went back to school mostly for her. I'm not starting over again, so I'm going to be a biologist one way or another.
Why don't you postpone thinking about it until you're closer to graduation, have a clear idea about your subfield, and are able to look at jobs in that subfield? Because people are telling you "there are no jobs in biology outside of major cities", but frankly, they have no idea what they're talking about. I think they have some cartoon concept of what biology means. It depends entirely on what field of biology. You want to do cancer research? You need to be in a major city. But you have many, many classes in front of you and you may find yourself engrossed in a subfield that has job opportunities in a surprising little burg.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 14, 2014, 05:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 02:55:00 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Tampa.
I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?
I don't think the kind of biology in Tampa is the kind of biology Twid is planning on doing.
He was looking for ideas, and I gave him one, that's it.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 14, 2014, 05:22:49 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 03:21:27 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 14, 2014, 03:09:13 PM
The way I see it, a place with a low cost of living for rent/supplies will usually not offer anything substantial in terms of jobs in the biology fields. This would imply either getting a job in the area that is not in biology (which could easily mean a reduced income, making the low cost of living moot), or getting a job with an extended commute, adding both social and financial cost (social cost = a daily 2 hour+ commute reduces time spent as a couple), again rendering the cost of living meaningless.
I agree with you. It's probably going to come down to getting a car, or her dropping me off at a bus stop. I'm not in anyway at this point willing to make my biology degree moot. I went back to school mostly for her. I'm not starting over again, so I'm going to be a biologist one way or another.
Why don't you postpone thinking about it until you're closer to graduation, have a clear idea about your subfield, and are able to look at jobs in that subfield? Because people are telling you "there are no jobs in biology outside of major cities", but frankly, they have no idea what they're talking about. I think they have some cartoon concept of what biology means. It depends entirely on what field of biology. You want to do cancer research? You need to be in a major city. But you have many, many classes in front of you and you may find yourself engrossed in a subfield that has job opportunities in a surprising little burg.
That's a fair point. She was pretty stressed out over it during the weekend. It's something for me to keep in mind. Incidentally, Nigel already knows this, but the areas of biology I'm currently interested fall under Microbiology, molecular biology, virology, and early life on earth
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 06:22:03 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 14, 2014, 05:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Suu on July 14, 2014, 02:55:00 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 14, 2014, 02:36:56 PM
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.
Tampa.
I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?
I don't think the kind of biology in Tampa is the kind of biology Twid is planning on doing.
He was looking for ideas, and I gave him one, that's it.
Right, it's just that botanical gardens, zoos, and aquariums are a completely different field. Botany and zoology both fall under the general heading of "biology" as well, but are a very different skill set.
Houston, Texas preferably in the North Side.
Cities outside of North Houston.
Cypress (very diverse Blue Collar),Tomball (Blue Collar), Spring (Blue Collar country/rock crowd), or The Woodlands (posh/rich suburban area). If she's serious about living in a less noisey place than you guys should check out Conroe.
Cities outside of West Houston.
Katy (Snowbirds live here)
These are the cities, or parts I feel you might feel at ease, and won't stick out as much, or less likely to feel jaded.
Why Houston? It's everything your GF wants, and also it's home to some of the best cancer centers in the world here downtown great for you guys with Science majors.
4th largest city demands you to drive 24/7. Our public transit is a joke.
Quote from: Triggered word /b/ear on July 30, 2014, 05:54:20 AM
Houston, Texas preferably in the North Side.
Cities outside of North Houston.
Cypress (very diverse Blue Collar),Tomball (Blue Collar), Spring (Blue Collar country/rock crowd), or The Woodlands (posh/rich suburban area). If she's serious about living in a less noisey place than you guys should check out Conroe.
Cities outside of West Houston.
Katy (Snowbirds live here)
These are the cities, or parts I feel you might feel at ease, and won't stick out as much, or less likely to feel jaded.
Why Houston? It's everything your GF wants, and also it's home to some of the best cancer centers in the world here downtown great for you guys with Science majors.
4th largest city demands you to drive 24/7. Our public transit is a joke.
The problem with Texas is with me. Not because it's Texas, but that Texas is far away from both Boston and Ireland. Also, I really hate heat. I don't think I could do it.
Fair enough.
So, over the past couple of days I became ok with the prospect. And today I was excited about it because I now have the opportunity to apply for a NASA job or something (at Goddard, for example). I told Villager about it and she was like or we could stay in Massachusetts. Just not Boston. I thought my head was going to explode. I'm just going to leave it alone for a bit. :lulz:
DERP forgot about NASA!!
HAHAHAHHAAHA. Poor Twid.
MOVE TO NEW BEDFORD
EVERYONE IS REALLY HAPPY AND BEAUTIFUL
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 31, 2014, 11:39:05 PM
So, over the past couple of days I became ok with the prospect. And today I was excited about it because I now have the opportunity to apply for a NASA job or something (at Goddard, for example). I told Villager about it and she was like or we could stay in Massachusetts. Just not Boston. I thought my head was going to explode. I'm just going to leave it alone for a bit. :lulz:
:lulz:
Quote from: Triggered word /b/ear on August 01, 2014, 12:47:08 AM
DERP forgot about NASA!!
HAHAHAHHAAHA. Poor Twid.
I did too. I had been looking into it because Northeastern has a lab run jointly with NASA, but it's engineering projects, so I was like, meh, no NASA job for me then. I mean, that would be the tits. Working for NASA I'd be like, I'll research whatever the hell biology you want me to.
I was like, GODFUCKINGDAMMITWOMAN.
Then she was like, "but if we stay in MA and you're an academic, you'd probably have to work in Boston anyway."
I was willing to commute to Boston from Rhode Island or New Hampshire. But living expenses she said. Shitty weather she said.
:walken:
Quote from: Aucoq on August 01, 2014, 03:12:44 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on July 31, 2014, 11:39:05 PM
So, over the past couple of days I became ok with the prospect. And today I was excited about it because I now have the opportunity to apply for a NASA job or something (at Goddard, for example). I told Villager about it and she was like or we could stay in Massachusetts. Just not Boston. I thought my head was going to explode. I'm just going to leave it alone for a bit. :lulz:
:lulz:
I want to know what thing clicked in her head to make her go, "meh, the Bay State's not so bad afterall, just fuck the capital and its bordering cities"
Was it going to Chicago? Was it my willingness to do something that I really really didn't want to do that she was like, eh... I should compromise a bit here....
I have no clue. None.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on August 01, 2014, 12:55:25 AM
MOVE TO NEW BEDFORD
EVERYONE IS REALLY HAPPY AND BEAUTIFUL
It's Massachusetts!
May I make a suggestion? It may be difficult, but I'd be really interested in seeing what happens if Villager takes a month or two to actually live in a place other than Boston, seeing how she hates this city, but has never lived anywhere else. Especially because she hates Boston for completely ephemeral reasons (the most specific being "I fucking hate it here").
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 04, 2014, 01:35:56 PM
May I make a suggestion? It may be difficult, but I'd be really interested in seeing what happens if Villager takes a month or two to actually live in a place other than Boston, seeing how she hates this city, but has never lived anywhere else. Especially because she hates Boston for completely ephemeral reasons (the most specific being "I fucking hate it here").
She may end up living in other parts of MA sooner than later anyway depending on how her roommate situation works out over the next year.
As it is, I basically see her on the weekends anyway, so as long as that's not interfered with, I'm cool with it. If it were a completely different place, she'd obviously have to have employment ready and an exit strategy. That would suck, but I'd see if we could work it so that we at least saw each other every other weekend.
But that was a thought that crossed my mind, too. I used to spend about two months in Ireland at a time when I was younger and I had no idea how people tolerated it. The answer is having a car, obviously, but dad's town is still about a 2-3 hour drive to Galway City because there's no such thing as a straight road or flat ground there.
Ok, so I double checked. That's the Bus Eireann routes. Direct driving is about an hour and a quarter, providing lack of sheep in the road. I've never driven a car over there.
TEXAS ! TEXAS ! TEXAS!
Norway.
Quote from: Allfader Waffles on August 07, 2014, 12:39:43 PM
Norway.
Tempting, but isn't your food toxic to mere mortals?
I hadn't considered it, but I'll put it on the list if two English speakers could live there and Oslo's got some good molecular biology programs. It will most likely get shot down either way.
It would be a good excuse to visit, though.
Norwegians eat food? I thought they eat snow, and Black Metal?
Quote from: Triggered word /b/ear on August 09, 2014, 12:17:06 AM
Norwegians eat food? I thought they eat snow, and Black Metal?
Boiled sheep's heads, fish prepared in lye, rotten fish, buried fish.
Quote from: Allfader Waffles on August 09, 2014, 10:51:54 AM
Quote from: Triggered word /b/ear on August 09, 2014, 12:17:06 AM
Norwegians eat food? I thought they eat snow, and Black Metal?
Boiled sheep's heads, fish prepared in lye, rotten fish, buried fish.
Which, to be fair, is all very metal. Nauseatingly, filthy disgusting, but metal.
Yeah, I know it's been covered but it bears repeating. Stay away from Philly. Speaking as a former Pennsylvanian, I say this. :P Also, if you don't like shoveling snow . . . PA's probably a bad idea in its entirety. I'm from Clarion and it typically snows from just before Halloween until mid-May. Sledding off the garage roof and putting skis on the pick-em-up-trucks are things.
If PA is an option, I'd hit the Gettysburg area. Handy to D.C. and Maryland and some universities and what-all for the schoolings and the jobings. The cost of living, when I was down there, did not suck hind teat. No idea what it is now, though.
Good luck getting that sorted out. *salutes*
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 12, 2014, 06:47:49 AM
Yeah, I know it's been covered but it bears repeating. Stay away from Philly. Speaking as a former Pennsylvanian, I say this. :P Also, if you don't like shoveling snow . . . PA's probably a bad idea in its entirety. I'm from Clarion and it typically snows from just before Halloween until mid-May. Sledding off the garage roof and putting skis on the pick-em-up-trucks are things.
If PA is an option, I'd hit the Gettysburg area. Handy to D.C. and Maryland and some universities and what-all for the schoolings and the jobings. The cost of living, when I was down there, did not suck hind teat. No idea what it is now, though.
Good luck getting that sorted out. *salutes*
Completely unrelated: I just stayed in Clarion Saturday night.
Carry on.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 12, 2014, 06:47:49 AM
Yeah, I know it's been covered but it bears repeating. Stay away from Philly. Speaking as a former Pennsylvanian, I say this. :P Also, if you don't like shoveling snow . . . PA's probably a bad idea in its entirety. I'm from Clarion and it typically snows from just before Halloween until mid-May. Sledding off the garage roof and putting skis on the pick-em-up-trucks are things.
If PA is an option, I'd hit the Gettysburg area. Handy to D.C. and Maryland and some universities and what-all for the schoolings and the jobings. The cost of living, when I was down there, did not suck hind teat. No idea what it is now, though.
Good luck getting that sorted out. *salutes*
It seems like one of her draws is the historical angle, so Gettysburg would work. The Massachusetts is ok under conditions throws everything out of whack, because what does that mean? I still have to work out exactly what she wants and what she's willing to give on, which seems to shift here and there.
I'm starting to suspect that her complaint is job satisfaction and details of commute.
This is going to be painful, but you really have to nail down the pragmatic, functional reasons she Fuckin Hates Boston.
I dunno how much she buys into all the Rationality stuff, but if you can "taboo" any phrase that resembles "I just don't like it" and ask what it functionally is she doesn't like, that might clear some stuff up.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 13, 2014, 02:46:09 AM
This is going to be painful, but you really have to nail down the pragmatic, functional reasons she Fuckin Hates Boston.
I dunno how much she buys into all the Rationality stuff, but if you can "taboo" any phrase that resembles "I just don't like it" and ask what it functionally is she doesn't like, that might clear some stuff up.
I know. And that's a little hard to hammer out.
I mean, if Massachusetts is still on the table, we're both happy, I just need to figure out what her Bay State parameters are, and see if they're compatible with mine.
I also have to figure out what my deal is now that I'm like, well, I could do this and that would would be cool...
I think my main thing with Boston is that while people may come and go, there's a sort of stability to it. It's not the place so much as the groups of people.
For example, I can't remember the last time we met up. I like that that possibility is there because I consider you my friend. I enjoy your company. I also enjoy the company of other people who live in Boston. If you left Boston, well, that's on you, and I wish you the best, but if I leave Boston, I leave everyone. Part of the reason I suggested maybe Chicago is that we already had friends there and friends that were soon to move there. Part of the reason I am ok with moving to Ireland is because the other half of my family is there, even though I had no previous inclination to move there on a permanent basis (I figured a summer-winter retirement deal).
Hmm. I'd recommend taking all "locations" off the table, and you both make a list of what you're looking for, in fairly large terms.
Climate, Employment options, average living wage, average rent/housing market, urban/suburban/rural, all of that, but WITHOUT naming a city. Talk out what kind of environment you both want to live in, together. DON'T PUT A GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION ON IT.
After you've talked about the kind of life you want to live together, THEN see where on the map that fits the best. And do A LOT of research. You both might find a "micro climate" that suits you perfectly.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 13, 2014, 03:11:15 AM
Hmm. I'd recommend taking all "locations" off the table, and you both make a list of what you're looking for, in fairly large terms.
Climate, Employment options, average living wage, average rent/housing market, urban/suburban/rural, all of that, but WITHOUT naming a city. Talk out what kind of environment you both want to live in, together. DON'T PUT A GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION ON IT.
After you've talked about the kind of life you want to live together, THEN see where on the map that fits the best. And do A LOT of research. You both might find a "micro climate" that suits you perfectly.
That's pretty solid advice.
I think the urban/suburban/rural is probably going to be the trickiest, along with employment options.
I definitely prefer an urban environment. One of the things that really bugs me when I'm in Ireland, or at least the part that the other Twiddletons live in, is the isolation, the quietness, and how dark it gets. Don't get me wrong, I like it there, but in small amounts. I get uncomfortable.