I've found a lovely little spot around me that'd be perfect for a semi-public altar for Eris. I'm a little stuck on what might be useful to put up on it. So far, I know I'll be putting a cheaply bound copy of the Principia, an empty box for a DVD of midget porn, a plastic apple painted gold, some gold candles, and as many Pope cards as I have the patience to print out.
What would YOU put on this altar?
Nothing. You do not attract Eris's attention unless you are brain damaged.
Half a deck of cards and a candle with a wick on both ends.
The golden apple was used to mock vain gods... why do people insist on using that symbol for Eris?
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 01:09:07 AM
I've found a lovely little spot around me that'd be perfect for a semi-public altar for Eris. I'm a little stuck on what might be useful to put up on it. So far, I know I'll be putting a cheaply bound copy of the Principia, an empty box for a DVD of midget porn, a plastic apple painted gold, some gold candles, and as many Pope cards as I have the patience to print out.
What would YOU put on this altar?
Just give me back my heirloom candelabra and you won't have to go through this again, lottery boy. Keep the military regalia, if you please.
Bandages.
Bandanas
I already suggested Pope Cards and random (legal) goodies for free on Facebook.
Your favorite Nephew,
Caoimhin O Maoilchiarain
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 01:09:07 AM
I've found a lovely little spot around me that'd be perfect for a semi-public altar for Eris. I'm a little stuck on what might be useful to put up on it. So far, I know I'll be putting a cheaply bound copy of the Principia, an empty box for a DVD of midget porn, a plastic apple painted gold, some gold candles, and as many Pope cards as I have the patience to print out.
What would YOU put on this altar?
Historical eris was a deity noted for riding shotgun in aries' chariot, shrieking in laughter while riding through knee-deep blood. As enyo, she was responsible for razing cities to dust, burning whole populations alive, and generally fucking things up.
she was hardly worshipped; only the thracians (iirc) had a cult for her, and thats because they loved going to war.
So what to put on an altar to eris? Blood. Blood of people youve killed for personal gain. Ashes of the villiages youve put to the sword and burned to the ground. Weapons...because why not? And salt. Salt was expensive to ancients, and its as good a thing as any for a goddess who delights in salting the earth and making sure whole populations rue the day they discovered agriculture.
I cant fathom what eris would do with midget porn or that other junk. Shes not some goddess of hippydom and slapstick...shes the madder and orgiastic aspects of aries but with a vagina and more passive-aggressive.
Dude, have you not READ 30 Days of Eris? No. We don't build altars or shrines to that bitch, are you CRAZY?
I prayed to Eris once.
ONCE.
I mean, do what you want, it's your skin.
One must be very sure to pray to Eris.
Then, that person must promptly be committed for the good of the species.
I mean shit. People only joke about worshipping Cthulhu. Erisians are actually insane enough to not only do it, but trade tentacles for tits, like the outcome is somehow going to be better.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on August 28, 2014, 06:42:22 AM
One must be very sure to pray to Eris.
Then, that person must promptly be committed for the good of the species.
I mean shit. People only joke about worshipping Cthulhu. Erisians are actually insane enough to not only do it, but trade tentacles for tits, like the outcome is somehow going to be better.
:lulz:
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on August 28, 2014, 06:44:28 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on August 28, 2014, 06:42:22 AM
One must be very sure to pray to Eris.
Then, that person must promptly be committed for the good of the species.
I mean shit. People only joke about worshipping Cthulhu. Erisians are actually insane enough to not only do it, but trade tentacles for tits, like the outcome is somehow going to be better.
:lulz:
:thanks:
The bones of your slain foes.
Sloe berries.
A sword and shield.
Eagle feathers.
Quote from: Hoopla on August 28, 2014, 03:12:46 AM
The golden apple was used to mock vain gods... why do people insist on using that symbol for Eris?
To remind everyone that vain gods still need a good mocking
Quote from: MMIX on August 28, 2014, 11:23:06 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on August 28, 2014, 03:12:46 AM
The golden apple was used to mock vain gods... why do people insist on using that symbol for Eris?
To remind everyone that vain gods still need a good mocking
Well put!
Quote from: von on August 28, 2014, 06:00:42 AM
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 01:09:07 AM
I've found a lovely little spot around me that'd be perfect for a semi-public altar for Eris. I'm a little stuck on what might be useful to put up on it. So far, I know I'll be putting a cheaply bound copy of the Principia, an empty box for a DVD of midget porn, a plastic apple painted gold, some gold candles, and as many Pope cards as I have the patience to print out.
What would YOU put on this altar?
Historical eris was a deity noted for riding shotgun in aries' chariot, shrieking in laughter while riding through knee-deep blood. As enyo, she was responsible for razing cities to dust, burning whole populations alive, and generally fucking things up.
she was hardly worshipped; only the thracians (iirc) had a cult for her, and thats because they loved going to war.
So what to put on an altar to eris? Blood. Blood of people youve killed for personal gain. Ashes of the villiages youve put to the sword and burned to the ground. Weapons...because why not? And salt. Salt was expensive to ancients, and its as good a thing as any for a goddess who delights in salting the earth and making sure whole populations rue the day they discovered agriculture.
I cant fathom what eris would do with midget porn or that other junk. Shes not some goddess of hippydom and slapstick...shes the madder and orgiastic aspects of aries but with a vagina and more passive-aggressive.
Now that's where you are wrong. She is most definitely a goddess of slapstick.
Just take a look around you.
Quote from: Chao te Ching CH6Chaos is beyond division,
but some only see what they choose.
The old texts say,
"If you think this is just a ha-ha,
then go read it again."
And yet, some demand only humor
as if Eris were a petty amusement.
They liken the serious to the Grey,
and then wonder why their world collapses so easily.
Sometimes Eris uses Order.
Sometimes She uses Disorder.
Sometimes She works through you.
Sometimes the joke's on you.
Welcome to the fun house.
Quote from: Hoopla on August 28, 2014, 12:09:45 PM
Quote from: von on August 28, 2014, 06:00:42 AM
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 01:09:07 AM
I've found a lovely little spot around me that'd be perfect for a semi-public altar for Eris. I'm a little stuck on what might be useful to put up on it. So far, I know I'll be putting a cheaply bound copy of the Principia, an empty box for a DVD of midget porn, a plastic apple painted gold, some gold candles, and as many Pope cards as I have the patience to print out.
What would YOU put on this altar?
Historical eris was a deity noted for riding shotgun in aries' chariot, shrieking in laughter while riding through knee-deep blood. As enyo, she was responsible for razing cities to dust, burning whole populations alive, and generally fucking things up.
she was hardly worshipped; only the thracians (iirc) had a cult for her, and thats because they loved going to war.
So what to put on an altar to eris? Blood. Blood of people youve killed for personal gain. Ashes of the villiages youve put to the sword and burned to the ground. Weapons...because why not? And salt. Salt was expensive to ancients, and its as good a thing as any for a goddess who delights in salting the earth and making sure whole populations rue the day they discovered agriculture.
I cant fathom what eris would do with midget porn or that other junk. Shes not some goddess of hippydom and slapstick...shes the madder and orgiastic aspects of aries but with a vagina and more passive-aggressive.
Now that's where you are wrong. She is most definitely a goddess of slapstick.
Just take a look around you.
Every time a predator drone takes out a house full of innocents tears appear in Her eyes. Slowly her beautiful features are contorted by a mad grin until she bursts out laughing. It is an ugly laugh, loud and whooping and full of snorts.
Just for fun, with a twitch of her pinky finger she puts a thought in the neighbour's head: "Now I can keep the borrowed lawnmower!" just to see the self-loathing look on his face a second later.
This millennium the laughter hasn't stopped for even a second.
Quote from: Cain on August 28, 2014, 09:06:37 AM
The bones of your slain foes.
Sloe berries.
A sword and shield.
Eagle feathers.
Most historically accurate answer ITT, btw.
Well, except the first one. That was more embellishment and supposition. But it'd probably fit.
I figured you had actually sourced that answer. Sounded plenty legit.
All the world is Eris's altar.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 28, 2014, 02:09:43 PM
I figured you had actually sourced that answer. Sounded plenty legit.
Sloe berries come from Prunus spinosa, aka Blackthorn.
"In Ogham the blackthorn is
straif. The Gaelic word 'straif' translates as 'strife'. The words 'slay' and 'sloe' are also closely linked. The Romans called it bellicum , related to bellum ['war']. Ares, the Greek god of war and his sister Eris ['strife'] were conceived when Hera touched a hawthorn blossom; in Celtic lore the hawthorn is the sister of the blackthorn, a symbol of strife and Ares' sister."
And the eagle feathers are something of a guess, but given Bellona is a Roman Goddess of War often depicted with winged feathers of some kind, it seems a solid bet, alongside the arms and shield.
This means when I drink a Sloe Gin Fizz, I honor the Goddess.
Which makes sense, considering what happens when I drink a lot of Sloe Gin.
Quote from: von on August 28, 2014, 06:00:42 AM
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 01:09:07 AM
I've found a lovely little spot around me that'd be perfect for a semi-public altar for Eris. I'm a little stuck on what might be useful to put up on it. So far, I know I'll be putting a cheaply bound copy of the Principia, an empty box for a DVD of midget porn, a plastic apple painted gold, some gold candles, and as many Pope cards as I have the patience to print out.
What would YOU put on this altar?
Historical eris was a deity noted for riding shotgun in aries' chariot, shrieking in laughter while riding through knee-deep blood. As enyo, she was responsible for razing cities to dust, burning whole populations alive, and generally fucking things up.
she was hardly worshipped; only the thracians (iirc) had a cult for her, and thats because they loved going to war.
So what to put on an altar to eris? Blood. Blood of people youve killed for personal gain. Ashes of the villiages youve put to the sword and burned to the ground. Weapons...because why not? And salt. Salt was expensive to ancients, and its as good a thing as any for a goddess who delights in salting the earth and making sure whole populations rue the day they discovered agriculture.
I cant fathom what eris would do with midget porn or that other junk. Shes not some goddess of hippydom and slapstick...shes the madder and orgiastic aspects of aries but with a vagina and more passive-aggressive.
For you, that might work, but that's not my Eris. To me, she's the personification of cosmic irony and absurdity. She's there when you laugh at another's misfortune. She's the oddity of everyday experience. While war images are a part of her persona, for me, that's not the totality of her existence. Humor is an essential part of what she is because life is pretty damn funny after taking a second to think about it. The staring contest with the abyss is the only one where you win by laughing.
I included an empty porn box to represent the disappointment of pure depravity, though in retrospect, that symbolism is probably lost on anyone outside of my head. Which is hopefully everyone, but you never know.
Now, I could be wrong on all of this. I've only been studying this shit for about a year. My opinions may change. But this is how I see it at this point in time.
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 05:33:41 PM
She's there when you laugh at another's misfortune.
So, the dickbag Eris.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2014, 05:34:21 PM
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 05:33:41 PM
She's there when you laugh at another's misfortune.
So, the dickbag Eris.
Kinda sorta. I mean, she's a bitch, don't get me wrong on that. But it's usually the bitchiest folks that touch upon the truth that needs to be heard.
Quote from: MMIX on August 28, 2014, 11:23:06 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on August 28, 2014, 03:12:46 AM
The golden apple was used to mock vain gods... why do people insist on using that symbol for Eris?
To remind everyone that vain gods still need a good mocking
Well said!
To me, it is also a symbol representative of chaos in general and the need for mockery, whether it be for vanity, for greed, for humility. Things need to be parodied to understand the fallacies inherent in them and the apple is that for me.
A flaming bag of dog poop?
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 05:36:59 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2014, 05:34:21 PM
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 05:33:41 PM
She's there when you laugh at another's misfortune.
So, the dickbag Eris.
Kinda sorta. I mean, she's a bitch, don't get me wrong on that. But it's usually the bitchiest folks that touch upon the truth that needs to be heard.
And that always works out well. :lulz:
some old vhs tapes
a small sculpture of a turtle.
Cocktail umbrellas. 151 shots.
500 TONS OF FLAX
Labradorescent wellingtons
We build a statue, 300 feet high with twin watercannons firing acid from the tearducts. That's your fucking altar right there. All shall kneel and perish
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t1.0-9/10659294_10100412421107415_4734611376761879315_n.jpg)
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 29, 2014, 01:00:03 PM
We build a statue, 300 feet high with twin watercannons firing acid from the tearducts. That's your fucking altar right there. All shall kneel and perish
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t1.0-9/10659294_10100412421107415_4734611376761879315_n.jpg)
Would you look at the rack on me?
Hand-crank air-raid siren.
An adjustable lighter rigged to produce a six inch flame
Stupidly hot ground pepper or pepper spray
A jar of someone else's pee (ideally collected from laugh pissing)
Any kitchen gadget or multi-tool that is designed so poorly it cannot perform its basic function (pocket knife that doesn't fit in a pocket, etc.)
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 29, 2014, 11:24:24 PM
.
Any kitchen gadget or multi-tool that is designed so poorly it cannot perform its basic function (pocket knife that doesn't fit in a pocket, etc.)
The festering carcass of Mike the Engineer.
Hey actually, is it possible to make altars to things that aren't gods, strictly speaking. Not like demons obviously. But if i were to go to Las Vegas, for example and erect a shrine to Lady Luck in the hopes of winning shitloads of money at the tables, would it be any different that worshiping household deities or something? Would doing that MAKE Lady Luck a minor deity?
Quote from: Chelagoras The Lust-Driven Dickwolf on August 31, 2014, 01:45:24 AM
Hey actually, is it possible to make altars to things that aren't gods, strictly speaking. Not like demons obviously. But if i were to go to Las Vegas, for example and erect a shrine to Lady Luck in the hopes of winning shitloads of money at the tables, would it be any different that worshiping household deities or something? Would doing that MAKE Lady Luck a minor deity?
Uhm.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortuna
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyche
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_gods#The_Lady
DEEKORDER RING!
I'm with the people who said the last thing you really want is for Eris to pay any attention to you at all.
Somewhat recently a friend complained to Discord that his life had become kind of hum-drum. Within a week his house burned down.
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
It's a public safety benefit, really.
I have plenty of things with Her symbols on them, some of them even lived on my altar for a while when I had one (didn't pray, meditated with it in my peripheral vision, when I started neopagan/zen mashup practice).
All my altars TO Eris are transitory pieces of art, like sandcastles or stacks of rocks (see also the Myth of Starbuck's Pebbles), or Cram's PosterGASM posters.
Quote from: Telarus on August 31, 2014, 06:16:07 PM
I have plenty of things with Her symbols on them, some of them even lived on my altar for a while when I had one (didn't pray, meditated with it in my peripheral vision, when I started neopagan/zen mashup practice).
All my altars TO Eris are transitory pieces of art, like sandcastles or stacks of rocks (see also the Myth of Starbuck's Pebbles), or Cram's PosterGASM posters.
Bolded part.
Never look directly at Eris.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 31, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 31, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 31, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 31, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 31, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 31, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 31, 2014, 03:43:37 PM
I REALLY need to publish 30 Days of Eris.
If you've got an altar to Eris, the best thing to add to it is an apology.
If you're looking to construct an altar to Eris and nothing will dissuade you, I suggest making it a safe, writing 'No, I didn't mean it, please don't give me more fun than I really wanted' and then locking yourself inside and waiting it out.
Eris looks at people building "Altars" to her, doing human sacrifices ect. the same way you look at a pet cat that keeps bringing home dead birds. At first its cute, but after a few thousand years its gotten old and now she pulls out the rolled up newspaper and squirt bottle. Only the Newspaper is the damnation of an angry war God, and the squirt bottle is pestilence and death.
You do NOT want to know what happens when you piss on her carpet. Facebook Discordians should be learning that lesson the hard way any day now.
Look. I don't know you. I don't know where you came from, what your motives are, what you had for breakfast, how early in the day you start drinking, or what you did in a past life that you feel a subconscious need to punish yourself for in this one. I can't tell you what to do with your life. I can't tell you who to worship, what to value, where to go when the power shuts off, what to search for when you're in Private Browsing Mode, or who your friends and enemies are. I can't even for one second pretend to know what's best for you. So as far as your altar to Eris is concerned, the only thing I can tell you is not to listen to me. I don't know anything.
Having said that, I implore you, if you intend to build this altar or -- for the love of Christ -- if you've already built it and want to add more things to it, please take the altar, put it in the back of your Jeep, and drive at least 35 miles away from anything resembling civilization before you turn the damn thing on.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 29, 2014, 01:00:03 PM
We build a statue, 300 feet high with twin watercannons firing acid from the tearducts. That's your fucking altar right there. All shall kneel and perish
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t1.0-9/10659294_10100412421107415_4734611376761879315_n.jpg)
:dies: :eek: :aaa:
Damned if you desecrate, damned if you don't.
Quote from: muffinmania on August 28, 2014, 01:09:07 AM
I've found a lovely little spot around me that'd be perfect for a semi-public altar for Eris. I'm a little stuck on what might be useful to put up on it. So far, I know I'll be putting a cheaply bound copy of the Principia, an empty box for a DVD of midget porn, a plastic apple painted gold, some gold candles, and as many Pope cards as I have the patience to print out.
What would YOU put on this altar?
A vial of putrefying roadkill remains inscribed with my name on it, a live homemade nail bomb, and the single most loved inanimate object that has been completely destroyed.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on August 29, 2014, 01:00:03 PM
We build a statue, 300 feet high with twin watercannons firing acid from the tearducts. That's your fucking altar right there. All shall kneel and perish
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t1.0-9/10659294_10100412421107415_4734611376761879315_n.jpg)
This is the only thing going in the altar now.