I wrote a script for the IRC bot that will text message me whenever someone types: !textburns <text>
Here's what was sent since July 23rd.
I substituted characters for the parties involved.
DON'T FORGET THAT SOME OF THE LINKS ARE NSFW.
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://files.g4tv.com/ImageDb3/289306_S/even-batman-poops.jpg
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://shitporn.org/galleries/fresh-brown-shit/base/brown-shit-fullsized-pic-15.jpg
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
poop pooop poopity poop | Oct 4
(https://i.imgur.com/1IaXqVF.png)
DOES THIS WORK TOO | Oct 4
(https://i.imgur.com/1IaXqVF.png)
burns PEEEE | Oct 4
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
Goooooodddddmoooorrrrrniiing Viiiiieeeeetnaaam! | Oct 2
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
find the hidden dong http://media.cmgdigital.com/shared/lt/lt_cache/thumbnail/960/img/photos/2013/01/11/d4/b3/51bJaEAaAYL._SL500_AA300_.jpg | Oct 2
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://englishmum.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/oh-shit.jpg | Oct 2
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://eurokulture.missouri.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/vladimir-putin-riding-bear.jpg | Oct 1
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://www.drfloras.com/wp-content/themes/drfloras/images/DrFloras-colon-cleansing-day-8-pop-2nd.jpg | Sep 27
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://www.imgur.com/7LGBe2P.jpg | Sep 26
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
goes out | Sep 25
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttekLBqa6sQ | Sep 25
(https://i.imgur.com/StxEyBa.png)
8 D | Sep 25
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://youtu.be/XgbU_8Fxv6k?t=3m18s | Sep 25
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/9/7/4/318974_v1.jpg | Sep 22
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.imgur.com/YwFNU8T.jpg careful when this is flying about as you sleep | Sep 22
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ByAMLSgCYAAy178.jpg | Sep 20
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
eris hey what's the deal with people thinking a microwave can charge their cellular devices | Sep 20
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://www.mum.org/violet1.jpg | Sep 20
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
burns | Sep 20
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://streaming.crocreview.com/galleries/hardcore/bigsausagepizza/carolyn/bigsausagepizza-carolyn-1.jpg | Sep 19
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://media.fukung.net/imgs/d27f12631ab7218f30f3a66defb556dc.jpg | Sep 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.imgur.com/P7x5fnK.png | Sep 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.imgur.com/ifOm27s.gif | Sep 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.imgur.com/JFRjjxt.jpg, | Sep 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://bondage.redteens.com/c/dm/tags-ass-bdsm-blindfold-blush-breasts-122728.jpeg | Sep 18
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
http://i.imgur.com/DhzUZGN.jpg | Sep 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bx06Z99IUAAsr-D.jpg:large | Sep 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
https://i.imgur.com/bKNKwaI.jpg | Sep 16
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://galleries.adult-empire.com/98/9849//48/name8.jpg | Sep 16
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.imgur.com/VEb8k.jpg | Sep 16
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LWdj-Gq1P-o/TYWUPrYDpOI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/2TD4p0ltGtg/s1600/ellen3.jpg | Sep 14
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4LxHI8uV9A | Sep 13
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://rule34-data-002.paheal.net/_images/53869c2bb137e537ee90c405538cfe42/162170%20-%20Nakoruru%20Purple_Nakoruru%20Samurai_Shodown%20Shitting_dick_nipples%20Tao_Yan%20meme.jpg | Sep 12
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
pickup lasagna for dinner hunny | Sep 7
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | Sep 2
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
lol | Sep 1
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
morning | Sep 1
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
good | Sep 1
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BY6TKGmIgAAoyaV.jpg:large | Aug 31
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
was it you that collected music with Alan Watts samples? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcEDw82vw1c about 5 minutes in, although Folky Celticy stuff rather than chillstep | Aug 28
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
she led me to your office where you were playing a game with what might have been a nintendo | Aug 28
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
last night, I had a dream about you, and in this dream, I went to visit you in your new house | Aug 28
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AaWyFlXqpHc | Aug 25
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.imgur.com/B4pdRQE.jpg | Aug 23
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
Encephalopedophilia* | Aug 22
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
and the subsequently awkwarder moment, when you realize that this is Brainchild pedophilia | Aug 22
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
That Awkward Moment when you think your Code be so Sexy you wanna Stick in in the USB port and make sweet love to it | Aug 22
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://illuminatiwatcher.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Giorgio-Aliens.jpg | Aug 22
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
can you pick up pork chops for dinner, honey? thx love ya | Aug 21
(https://i.imgur.com/nfnsqDs.png)
INTERLOPERS HERE TOO | Aug 20
(https://i.imgur.com/ggsKAgU.png)
CECI N'EST PAS UNE TEXTMESSAGE | Aug 19
(https://i.imgur.com/m1YZXqy.png)
I wonder how long it will take before this gets supremely annoying | Aug 19
(https://i.imgur.com/LIBwozB.png)
it's poo time | Aug 19
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://i.imgur.com/kRdzH.gif | Aug 19
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
Don't let the evil goat in | Aug 18
(https://i.imgur.com/q4iEUe4.png)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | Aug 18
(https://i.imgur.com/1IaXqVF.png)
HI BURNS PHONE | Aug 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
YOU ARE AN UNREGISTERED MUTANT | Aug 18
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
COME ON POOKY! LET'S BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN! | Aug 15
(https://i.imgur.com/rr6y3l3.png)
Insects outnumber humans 100000000 to one. | Aug 6
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
OMG THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE, GET TO DA CHOPPA | Aug 1
(https://i.imgur.com/StxEyBa.png)
YOUR PHONE HAS BEEN VISITED BY THE TEXT MESSAGE OF HAPPINESS | Jul 30
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXqvqXofQcQ| Jul 30
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way -- in short, the period | Jul 30
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE HALLWAY | Jul 30
(https://i.imgur.com/ByW3Lrl.png)
<@[spag]> The moon landings were faked. No, really. FAKED, I tell you, FAKED. | Jul 27
(https://i.imgur.com/YyMQfsO.png)
it does nothing, nevermind it | Jul 27
(https://i.imgur.com/llHHFlU.png)
<@[spag]> legalize armadillos!!! | Jul 26
(https://i.imgur.com/ByW3Lrl.png)
ONE CENT FOR ONE ONION #ocfon | Jul 26
(https://i.imgur.com/ByW3Lrl.png)
we have an IRC emergency, please call 867-5309 asap | Jul 26
(https://i.imgur.com/rr6y3l3.png)
BURNS, this is Elbert Huberdink from down Mesa Puerta, do you have free time in your schedule today for a meeting? | Jul 26
(https://i.imgur.com/ByW3Lrl.png)
when cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? | Jul 26
(https://i.imgur.com/ByW3Lrl.png)
I shall now commence texting you the complete text of "Atlas Shrugged" | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/ByW3Lrl.png)
Got milk? | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/qrmjLFJ.png)
You up? | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/ByW3Lrl.png)
what are you wearing | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/0K9UdI4.png)
text me! | Jul 25
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
| Jul 25
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
girl, you must be an einstein-rosen bridge, because I want to come inside you and be somewhere else. | Jul 25
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
THE SKY IS FALLING! | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/StxEyBa.png)
I value our friendship | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/LIBwozB.png)
i sniffed ur poop | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/StxEyBa.png)
I hope you have enjoyed reading this twice | Jul 25
(https://i.imgur.com/nfnsqDs.png)
[spag] is making unreasonable demands of you | Jul 24
(https://i.imgur.com/0K9UdI4.png)
HI BURNS | Jul 24
(https://i.imgur.com/0K9UdI4.png)
| Jul 24
(https://i.imgur.com/0K9UdI4.png)
GET IN DA CHOPPA | Jul 23
(https://i.imgur.com/pjayLtX.png)
Thanks for letting me suck the pickles from your Big Mac! -- luv Mandy xxx | Jul 23
(http://i.imgur.com/6zNFy8E.png)
you left you front door unlocked | Jul 23
Brilliant!