Ok apparently I don't get to sleep yet, because I just found out I was supposed to remember to do something before I go to bed. But I don't really want to, so while I stay up even longer under the excuse that I have something to do, allow me to avoid getting to it by making a thread dedicated to everyone's favorite Mitch Hedberg joke, just because.
I'll start.
As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I end up at the top of a slide, I have to act like I got there accidentally. "How'd I get up here, god damnit?! I guess I have to slide down."