Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 20, 2014, 02:59:24 PM

Title: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 20, 2014, 02:59:24 PM
Using only...

(https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5615/15215113323_eff14e3600_m.jpg)
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 20, 2014, 03:19:29 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 21, 2014, 03:10:53 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 21, 2014, 03:11:24 PM
I am writing up this trip.  Horribly smashed Kenyan Love Burger will be included.
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 21, 2014, 04:54:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 21, 2014, 03:11:24 PM
I am writing up this trip.  Horribly smashed Kenyan Love Burger will be included.

LOVE BULLETS

I vaguely recall that I was asking him very serious, very irritating questions about what, exactly, love bullets were made out of, and what effect they have on impact.
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Reginald Ret on November 21, 2014, 06:46:49 PM
I only just noticed you weren't talking about love darts (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_dart).

I am disappoint.
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 21, 2014, 06:50:17 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret (07/05/1983 - 06/11/2014) on November 21, 2014, 06:46:49 PM
I only just noticed you weren't talking about love darts (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_dart).

I am disappoint.


You had to be there, man.
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 21, 2014, 07:31:42 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret (07/05/1983 - 06/11/2014) on November 21, 2014, 06:46:49 PM
I only just noticed you weren't talking about love darts (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_dart).

I am disappoint.

LOVE DARTS! This will be my new favorite thing for a week or five.
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Trivial on November 21, 2014, 10:42:18 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTV23B5gBsQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTV23B5gBsQ)
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Reginald Ret on November 21, 2014, 11:47:20 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 21, 2014, 06:50:17 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret (07/05/1983 - 06/11/2014) on November 21, 2014, 06:46:49 PM
I only just noticed you weren't talking about love darts (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_dart).

I am disappoint.


You had to be there, man.
That is usually the case, I'm sorry I missed it.
Though I have trouble believing it could beat the story I have in my head where Nigel's vulva start spinning and making a loud whirring sound. The Javelina is confused, not sure if he should run away. But before he can make up his mind, the harpoon-like darts start streaming out of the specialized organ surrounding Nigel's fifth most dangerous orifice. The first dart strikes the Javelina right in the nose, but before the hormones can do their job the rest of the love-minigun's barbed ammunition reduces the Javelina's facial skin to a sieve. These darts don't kill though, Nothing so merciful is happening here.

The Javelina's every cell has been soaked in Nigel's hormones, and he can already feel his body changing. While his body is getting weaker, his mind is getting clearer. While he is developing new forms of math in the few second it takes to complete the transformation the Javelina can finally deduce what his destiny is. It is not what he expected, We will never know what his last thoughts were because the last thing that poor Javelina did was look up to the stars, and let out a huge thunderous fart that seems like it could go on forever.

If you are wondering why that was the last thing it did, that is because Nigel, with a loving motherly smile, lit that fart on fire and the Javelina lifted off in the direction he was looking, screeching triumphantly. Quite soon he was no longer visible and after about 40 seconds a bright light lit up the night's sky.

If you wish to know what happened to the Javelina, you will have to ask Nigel.
Though she will probably say something cryptic.
I choose to believe the Javelina ascended to godhood, but others say it was merely meant as fireworks.
It is true that Nigel likes it when things go boom, but I wonder...
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 22, 2014, 12:33:22 AM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 22, 2014, 12:36:18 AM
Today I recalled that part of my pressing line of questioning kept returning to my postulate (introduced initially by NLDM, I believe) that these "love bullets" sounded exactly like semen.
Title: Re: Hey Roger! I Took Down A Javelina...
Post by: LMNO on November 22, 2014, 04:16:52 PM
Nothing will convince me that Reginald's post is not 100% the cold, hard truth.