Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on December 02, 2014, 01:49:57 AM

Title: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
Post by: Doktor Howl on December 02, 2014, 01:49:57 AM
(http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i312/P3nT4gR4m/Wilderness_zpsdbbca8d8.jpg~original)

NAME:  P3NT  Age:  430  Gender:  Scottish  Race:  Suspected hominid

Much as Japanese soldiers who weren't aware of the surrender held out on Pacific islands until the 1970s, P3NT has been holding out for King Gustav (of 30 years war fame) for roughly 400 years.  He refuses to believe negotiators telling him the war is over, and occasionally comes out of the mountains to burn Magdeburg down. Again.

As various law enforcement agencies and military organizations have learned, he is an absolute demon in a firefight, which is particularly impressive considering he uses a .75 caliber matchlock...Although on one occasion he killed 12 British Royal Marines when he fired a muzzle-loading cannon loaded with cannister shot from the hip.  The surviving Royal Marines are impotent with hatred, and their women go into a rutting frenze on sight of him.

Recent ideas of luring him out with "tatties and neeps" are not being met with optimism.

Title: Re: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
Post by: LMNO on December 02, 2014, 02:35:04 AM
Terrifying.
Title: Re: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
Post by: Eater of Clowns on December 02, 2014, 02:44:39 AM
That can is a lightsaber kayak.
Title: Re: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
Post by: Ben Shapiro on December 02, 2014, 03:58:05 AM
LOL yes!
Title: Re: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 02, 2014, 06:20:32 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 02, 2014, 01:49:57 AM
(http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i312/P3nT4gR4m/Wilderness_zpsdbbca8d8.jpg~original)

NAME:  P3NT  Age:  430  Gender:  Scottish  Race:  Suspected hominid

Much as Japanese soldiers who weren't aware of the surrender held out on Pacific islands until the 1970s, P3NT has been holding out for King Gustav (of 30 years war fame) for roughly 400 years.  He refuses to believe negotiators telling him the war is over, and occasionally comes out of the mountains to burn Magdeburg down. Again.

As various law enforcement agencies and military organizations have learned, he is an absolute demon in a firefight, which is particularly impressive considering he uses a .75 caliber matchlock...Although on one occasion he killed 12 British Royal Marines when he fired a muzzle-loading cannon loaded with cannister shot from the hip.  The surviving Royal Marines are impotent with hatred, and their women go into a rutting frenze on sight of him.

Recent ideas of luring him out with "tatties and neeps" are not being met with optimism.

(http://s25.postimg.org/7hsk6hee7/2014_12_01_23_27_58.jpg)
Title: Re: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on December 02, 2014, 06:59:58 AM
In my defense, I can't remember any of that. We started out with a couple of halfs in a mates house and the next thing I know a bunch of wankers are yelling "armistice" at me. Needless to say, I declined
Title: Re: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
Post by: Richter on December 11, 2014, 12:39:38 AM
P3nt is responsible for that odd flavor in Guiness beer.  Once every few decades he paddles their brew tanks while the ocilators are on high "Just to show them", then floats off down the gutters.  Knocking the head off a wheelbarrow boy as he passes.