When I am rich, I will make Tom Selleck shave off his mustache using only his tears for shaving cream.
When I am rich, I will have the drop bear genetically engineered.
When I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.
When I am rich, the hedge maze will be equal parts Escher, Giger, and Seuss.
When I am rich, I will hire Thomas Friedman to write essays, under the pretence of being a new newspaper.
In actuality, his essays will be used as advanced examples of how not to write English, for my English as a Foreign Language business empire.
When I am rich I will buy all the oil and store it in barrels shaped like dinosaurs. Then I will give them a good Christian burial.
Never again the burning times. :argh!:
Quote from: Demolition Squid on April 14, 2015, 09:00:55 PM
When I am rich I will buy all the oil and store it in barrels shaped like dinosaurs. Then I will give them a good Christian burial.
Never again the burning times. :argh!:
:lulz:
When I am rich, I will buy enough latex to finally protect Portland from the menace that shall remain nameless because I am not rich therefore lack the latex to protect even myself.
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.
You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.
And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.
WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.
I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.
Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.
We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.
You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.
And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.
WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.
I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.
Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.
We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.
Have you ever seen reconstituted 100% natural thousand year old organically dried coyote poop dust?
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.
You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.
And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.
WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.
I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.
Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.
We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.
When I am rich, this man is my voice in all matters. His symbol of office will be a meteorite iron crowbar.
When I am rich, Lillie shall sit upon a throne of chair arms.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.
You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.
And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.
WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.
I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.
Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.
We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.
When I am rich, I will build an amusement park just for Junkie. The Scrambler will extend through the concertina wire, and the roller coaster will not feature seat belts.
And he will share his new paradise with Meghan Kelly.
When I am rich, I will have Gordon Ramsey write children's books.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 14, 2015, 09:41:26 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.
You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.
And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.
WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.
I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.
Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.
We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.
When I am rich, I will build an amusement park just for Junkie. The Scrambler will extend through the concertina wire, and the roller coaster will not feature seat belts.
And he will share his new paradise with Meghan Kelly.
Bribery shall not work. Offers of becoming a glorified gateman to a deathtrap park appealing as they are, the list of alleged crimes against a range of non-required-to-be-specified entities (We all
know what you did. And have done. And
are still doing. Those poor geese.) is enough to warrant a luxury cell for one at the Gitmo Hilton. For fucks sake, there are people in there for just thinking about acts only half as indecent as we know you full well to have committed. The only reason you walk around free is that you're in an inescapable place requiring unreasonable effort to exist, let alone leave.
The rest of those clowns may think they're safe. I know it's only a matter of time until you strike again and these gutless fucks are doing nothing to stop it. Nothing at all.
For shame on you all, you bring forth your own doom through complacency.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:50:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 14, 2015, 09:41:26 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.
You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.
And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.
WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.
I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.
Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.
We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.
When I am rich, I will build an amusement park just for Junkie. The Scrambler will extend through the concertina wire, and the roller coaster will not feature seat belts.
And he will share his new paradise with Meghan Kelly.
Bribery shall not work. Offers of becoming a glorified gateman to a deathtrap park appealing as they are, the list of alleged crimes against a range of non-required-to-be-specified entities (We all know what you did. And have done. And are still doing. Those poor geese.) is enough to warrant a luxury cell for one at the Gitmo Hilton. For fucks sake, there are people in there for just thinking about acts only half as indecent as we know you full well to have committed. The only reason you walk around free is that you're in an inescapable place requiring unreasonable effort to exist, let alone leave.
The rest of those clowns may think they're safe. I know it's only a matter of time until you strike again and these gutless fucks are doing nothing to stop it. Nothing at all.
For shame on you all, you bring forth your own doom through complacency.
Gateman? I intend for you to spend the rest of your life on the rides.
So, you know, about 10 minutes.
Well you're just thinking small, another crime on the list.
PACK THE SEATS. Do it right or not at all, let me shove free tickets down the mouths of every media entity that will take one for the grand opening.
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:57:10 PM
Well you're just thinking small, another crime on the list.
PACK THE SEATS. Do it right or not at all, let me shove free tickets down the mouths of every media entity that will take one for the grand opening.
When I am rich, people will not get off that easily.
When I am rich, the world will be my GAYBAR, and every night will be SATURDAY NIGHT, except Sundays, because Game of Thrones will be on.
It appears I am rich.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 14, 2015, 10:43:15 PM
When I am rich, the world will be my GAYBAR, and every night will be SATURDAY NIGHT, except Sundays, because Game of Thrones will be on.
It appears I am rich.
We knew that, moneybags. I expect a little more tyranny out of the wealthy.
The Jackboots of Fabulousness.
I dunno, I like LMNO's brand of tyranny. A little less vicious, a littl emore FABULOUS!
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on April 15, 2015, 02:26:42 AM
I dunno, I like LMNO's brand of tyranny. A little less vicious, a littl emore FABULOUS!
I was really expecting feather boas.
I mean, STANDARDS, PEOPLE. WORK WITH ME HERE.
When I am rich, I will have my own laboratory.
When Im rich Im going to buy every orphanage in a 100 mile radius and tear it down to make room for a toxic waste dump.
When Im rich Im going to pay TGI Fridays employees to do a surprise birthday song for my ex-boss. On a day that is not his birthday, once every year, always on a different day, for the rest of his natural life.
When Im rich I will use my vast media empire to bring codpieces back into style.
When Im rich Snoop Lions will be declared an endangered species.
When im rich Im going to buy a cargo ship, fill it with McNuggets and send it to Africa to end world hunger.
When Im rich I will buy the rights to classic films and then pay George Lucas to digitally remaster them.
When Im rich Im going to clone the DoDo just so I can deep fry the last one.
When Im rich Im going to set up mobile suicide booths outside of brony conventions.
When Im rich Im going to launch a rocket full of ice cubes into the sun to combat global warming.
When Im rich Im going to buy Jerusalem and turn it into the worlds biggest water park.
I hope that when you're rich you will also fund my laboratory.
When I am rich, I will fund a snake lab.
It will be a lab entirely populated by snakes, where humans are experimented on.
Quote from: Cain on April 15, 2015, 06:06:23 AM
When I am rich, I will fund a snake lab.
It will be a lab entirely populated by snakes, where humans are experimented on.
But who shall genetically engineer the superintelligent snake scientists? This is but one of many reasons someone should fund my research.
Psh, you don't need superinteligent snakes. They'll just do really simple experiments.
Eventually, we can select those with the most aptitude for breeding, eventually culminating in SCIENCE SNAKES that have an intuitive grasp of emprical methods and approaches.
When I'm rich, I'll lobby to outlaw Saturday Night.
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on April 15, 2015, 02:26:42 AM
I dunno, I like LMNO's brand of tyranny. A little less vicious, a littl emore FABULOUS!
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Xflxvlav7ns/VS5RU-gIPvI/AAAAAAAAB9o/kbfJR-PFvIc/w500-h505-no/15%2B-%2B1)
Quote from: xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed) on April 15, 2015, 05:23:22 AM
When Im rich Im going to buy every orphanage in a 100 mile radius and tear it down to make room for a toxic waste dump.
When Im rich Im going to pay TGI Fridays employees to do a surprise birthday song for my ex-boss. On a day that is not his birthday, once every year, always on a different day, for the rest of his natural life.
When Im rich I will use my vast media empire to bring codpieces back into style.
When Im rich Snoop Lions will be declared an endangered species.
When im rich Im going to buy a cargo ship, fill it with McNuggets and send it to Africa to end world hunger.
When Im rich I will buy the rights to classic films and then pay George Lucas to digitally remaster them.
When Im rich Im going to clone the DoDo just so I can deep fry the last one.
When Im rich Im going to set up mobile suicide booths outside of brony conventions.
When Im rich Im going to launch a rocket full of ice cubes into the sun to combat global warming.
When Im rich Im going to buy Jerusalem and turn it into the worlds biggest water park.
BIG MAN PLANS!
When I am rich, I will have heating coils installed on the necks of giraffes.
Because their coffee is cold before it gets to their stomachs. You never thought about that, did you? No, you only think of yourselves.
QuoteWhen Im rich Im going to buy Jerusalem and turn it into the worlds biggest water park.
This is the most realistic proposal for peace in the middle east that I've seen in years.
Quote from: Cain on April 15, 2015, 06:50:49 AM
Psh, you don't need superinteligent snakes. They'll just do really simple experiments.
Eventually, we can select those with the most aptitude for breeding, eventually culminating in SCIENCE SNAKES that have an intuitive grasp of emprical methods and approaches.
SCIENCE SNAKES!
When I am rich I'm gonna buy Boston Scientific and Doc Johnson and you're all going to be sorry.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 15, 2015, 10:01:20 PM
When I am rich I'm gonna buy Boston Scientif and Doc Johnson and you're all going to be sorry.
BIG MAN PLANS!
When I am rich I am going to write a Broadway musical version of The Abominable Dr Phibes.
I don't need to be rich to do that, I'm already doing that, trust me.
I need to be rich to resurrect Vincent Price. That kind of science cost dollars, man!
When I am rich....
.... Prius drivers found consistently dawdling 5 mph below the posted speed limit in the passing lane will supply body parts of my choosing for research.
.... all elected officials will be subject to daily cavity searches - complete with planted evidence. The tax on the betting pools will run the gov't.
.... my interior office will have windows on two sides, despite the fact that there are halls & rooms in the way. I'll have a skylight installed even though I'm on the 2nd floor of a 5 story building. All other offices will be filled with ping pong balls, shaving cream or polyacrylamide.
.... there will be frigging drunk bumps for the bike lanes. Is that so damned much to ask for? :argh!:
Once the simple stuff is taken care of, I think we can start working on peace, water, food, education & basic human rights.
When I'm rich I'm gonna revive Walt Disney and hire him as head of the largest animation company in Israel.
When I am rich
I will be able to pay my bills
When I am rich
I'll eat a variety of foods at every meal.
When I am rich
I'll be able to buy clothes that fit well.
When I am rich
I'll buy my own home.
When I am rich
I'll paint my walls whatever color I want.
When I am rich
I'll go wherever I want without worrying about being asked to leave.
When I am rich
People will treat me like a real human being.
When I am rich, I will buy student debt and abolish it instead of collecting it.
When I am rich, I will start a reality TV show called "Who Wants to Eat a Billionaire?"
When I am rich, I will lead pelotons through heavy traffic with one of these:
(http://i.imgur.com/L3fkcWH.gif)
When I am rich, it will be because I am the sole proprietor of the worlds largest fast food chain Gruel World, because after the apocalypse, people will still need to eat in a hurry.
When i am rich i shall cultivate a Charlie Sheen Level of tabloid notoriety by deliberately staging explosive fucked up moments. This will lead the sleaziest paparazzi to surround me like flies. I will then hire private detectives to look into the private lives of said paparazzi, and start a full blown media blog centered around the comings and goings and private emotional moments of the worlds worst journalists, just to see how they like it.
Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on April 19, 2015, 02:03:22 AM
When i am rich i shall cultivate a Charlie Sheen Level of tabloid notoriety by deliberately staging explosive fucked up moments. This will lead the sleaziest paparazzi to surround me like flies. I will then hire private detectives to look into the private lives of said paparazzi, and start a full blown media blog centered around the comings and goings and private emotional moments of the worlds worst journalists, just to see how they like it.
OH MY GOD this is brilliant and I wish someone would do it.
SO MANY PLANS
When i am rich i shall pay someone to weaponize the SJW generator by integrating it into spambots that will create their own tumblr accounts and pick fights with random SJW blogs in the least coherent manner possible...forever
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 15, 2015, 12:54:54 PM
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on April 15, 2015, 02:26:42 AM
I dunno, I like LMNO's brand of tyranny. A little less vicious, a littl emore FABULOUS!
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Xflxvlav7ns/VS5RU-gIPvI/AAAAAAAAB9o/kbfJR-PFvIc/w500-h505-no/15%2B-%2B1)
I love everything about this picture. EVERYTHING. :lol: :lol: :lol:
When I am rich, I will buy a deck of many things and wish for a sandwich.
Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on April 21, 2015, 12:37:38 AM
When i am rich i shall pay someone to weaponize the SJW generator by integrating it into spambots that will create their own tumblr accounts and pick fights with random SJW blogs in the least coherent manner possible...forever
Maybe this already happened, how would we know?
Did you 'borrow' Nigel's timemachine?
...not yet.
:lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 15, 2015, 07:13:52 PM
When I am rich, I will have heating coils installed on the necks of giraffes.
Because their coffee is cold before it gets to their stomachs. You never thought about that, did you? No, you only think of yourselves.
Just seeing this now, and for some reason it's cracking me the fuck up. :lol:
When I am rich I'm gonna build bullet trains all over North America. The ones that go to places I like will be private, and all of the other ones eventually end up in Tuscon, but never leave.
When I am rich I will shop at Whole Foods.