The Buffalo Wild Wings in my city gets experimental menus and sauces and shit, just like several others around the country. The Ghost Pepper has been getting popular, so they decided to let us try Ghost Pepper Blazin sauce.
Blazin sauce is the hottest sauce they have there. But I can watch a show and eat the original Blazin wings, no problem. It gives you the runner's high that spicy stuff is supposed to give you. It tastes good. It's all good. The new Ghost Pepper stuff is so hot it makes you wanna die. It's not an upper, it's a downer.
So, after eating a snack order (About 6-7 wings), my stomach hurt like a motherfucker. All day. And all night. A few days later, I had a shit that kept me from laying down or sitting at an angle afterwards because it felt like something was just gonna run out. But that's not even the worst part. It wasn't shit in the toilet afterwards. No. It was a piece of the black symbiote that gave Eddie Brock his venom powers from the Spiderman comics. When I flushed the toilet, it looked fucking alive as tendrils stuck to the bowl and stretched and snapped back to the pitch-black, shiny mass. It went down with a fucking fight. And I'm not exaggerating. I'm not saying "there was just a slight resemblance, but you could tell it was shit." It didn't look like feces AT ALL. If you want to know exactly what it looked like, watch Spiderman 3. It changed in size and shape and everything.
So, the question is, where the fuck are my venom powers? And if I do have them, will they originate from my anus?
Yes.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 18, 2015, 07:52:47 PM
Yes.
I know that great responsibility comes with great power. But what about awful, unhelpful powers? Because it seems that the only thing that comes with this power is symptoms of indigestion. NOT responsibility.
This is not the hero we want. This is the hero we deserve.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 18, 2015, 08:05:52 PM
This is not the hero we want. This is the hero we deserve.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
:lulz:
Nope. You shat out your superpowers. Tough shit.
You're meant to wear them, not flush them. Now some rat is going to get your superpowers.
Quote from: Cain on May 18, 2015, 08:53:45 PM
Nope. You shat out your superpowers. Tough shit.
You're meant to wear them, not flush them. Now some rat is going to get your superpowers.
FUCK.
Welp, back to Buffalo Wild Wings. I'll tell you how the bathing in "feces" goes. I wonder if I'll get the cool teeth, too...
You laugh about it now, but somewhere out there, there is black stinking liver damage crap with a grudge. It's going to bide its time, build up its strength and when you least suspect it, its going to crawl back into its home.
Quote from: Faust on May 18, 2015, 09:16:50 PM
You laugh about it now, but somewhere out there, there is black stinking liver damage crap with a grudge. It's going to bide its time, build up its strength and when you least suspect it, its going to crawl back into its home.
:eek: :horrormirth:
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d0/f0/58/d0f05834d184323fea25de73a78c43d8.jpg)