Dear Journal:
By golly! I've been adrift down the amazon (or was it the ebay) for god-knows how long. Haven't seen heads or tails of another civilized chap in ages.
The infection is getting worse. The shaman at the last village recommended I lick one of those colorful local toads as a remedy, but it's only made my head all stuffy and dizzy, and now everything looks queer.
It's time to go ashore and have a rest. I'll put a kettle on, and hope none of the natives notice me.
+1 for the Lord Buckley avatar
Pip pip cheerio!
I say! I do like the cut of his jib!
It's been years since we were set adrift, it's good to be back on solid ground again. These natives seem rather amused, Ol'Chap. Better amused than restless, I always say. Now I'll set out to see about provisions!
Be ware travellers, these lands are harsh, but the soil is fruitful if one takes the time to cultivate it.
I have noticed large amount of puns and animated pictures.. Curious
Ho! Who is steering this damned place, we've driven the whole thing right into some pith helmets.
It seems like I've stumbled into some kind of cult territory. Could this be... a tribe completely isolated from rational society? the survivors from that crashed space station? Maybe they can teach me some of their local tango & wango dances. Oh, that would be delightful!
Tango Wango would be delightful! I do hope more survivors will wash ashore, I'd hate to think they have been over taken by the vast ocean.
(http://i.imgur.com/2efvSa3.png)
/
Some of us LIKE the ocean, thanks!
Indeed, MAY YOUR TENTACLES NEVER FALTER!
Quote from: Demolition Squid on July 07, 2015, 10:05:12 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/2efvSa3.png)
/
Some of us LIKE the ocean, thanks!
I noticed something like this before our ship exploded..
:eek: perhaps it was all a clever rouse! I do hope the natives are not cannibals.
Look, if you store your bang beaks out on deck like that, you can't very well play the innocent.
That ship was asking for it, okay?
Quote from: Raphaella on July 07, 2015, 10:22:32 PM
:eek: perhaps it was all a clever rouse! I do hope the natives are not cannibals.
Saaay that's a clever idea.
Have we considered eating them? I say we give it a try, eh gang?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_d8NhNmiRs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_d8NhNmiRs) I'VE FOUND THIS NATIVE DANCE, I HOPE IT'S TO YOUR LIKING. PLEASE DON'T EAT US THANKS
Quote from: Raphaella on July 07, 2015, 10:58:17 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_d8NhNmiRs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_d8NhNmiRs) I'VE FOUND THIS NATIVE DANCE, I HOPE IT'S TO YOUR LIKING. PLEASE DON'T EAT US THANKS
This is a rite of passage, where a boy (or girl) of the tribe becomes a man and earns his right to wear the sacral salami, and hung holy pork proudly for the world to see.
https://youtu.be/s92P-fUkcZ4 (https://youtu.be/s92P-fUkcZ4)
What an odd custom
Quote from: Raphaella on July 07, 2015, 10:22:32 PM
:eek: perhaps it was all a clever rouse! I do hope the natives are not cannibals.
You look too stringy even if we were.
Which we are not.
Ahem.
I'm sorry, DID SOMEONE SAY WANGO TANGO?
(http://tinfoiler.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Ted-Nugent.jpg)
WANGO TANGO
Sorry I'm late, I was reading my map upside down as I'm used to doing in my native lands it seems I was walking around in circles following my own footprints once I realised I might have gotten a bit lost.
I have brought with me some perishables and explosives to trade with the natives or blow them up depending on what their reaction is to my demeanour.
Anyway, I come bearing gifts, my first gift is a free one and is a major secret technique in the culinary arts, are you ready for it?
Here it is, THE SECRET TO CHOPPING ONIONS WITHOUT CRYING.
Ready?
THE SECRET TO CHOPPINGS ONIONS WITHOUT CRYING IS THIS:
DONT FORM AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT.
You're welcome.
I've also worked out something else that has taken me many months of meditation to work out: Why DO firemen wear red suspenders?
I can reveal to you all today that; they wear them to keep their pants up!
Who would have thought?
I'm glad you've arrived. Those explosives could be useful any second now. It's been said that it was the Demolition Squid that burst our noble ship asunder! We may need those explosives to parlay. In the mean time, there is tea.. also I've managed to salvage some fancy tea cakes.
(http://occ144datkn3vrjlq7r63p19.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/wmujTsr.jpg)
You do NOT want to give explosives to a demolition squid, that sets off the mating dance.
The last mating dance of the demo squid had to be covered up by something called "World War 2".
You didn't really believe in "submarines" did you? People need air! Wake up and smell the "depth charges"!
Quote from: Reginald Ret on July 08, 2015, 08:44:07 AM
You do NOT want to give explosives to a demolition squid, that sets off the mating dance.
The last mating dance of the demo squid had to be covered up by something called "World War 2".
You didn't really believe in "submarines" did you? People need air! Wake up and smell the "depth charges"!
The elders still speak in hushed tones of those terrible, terrible times. The dance that goes with those stories is so awe-inducing that, looking back at the pale ghost of it that was performed at my adulthood ceremonies, I still shudder. It is said now that Witch Doktor Howl and ECH are the only men left alive who have seen that dance and survived.
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 08, 2015, 03:22:14 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on July 08, 2015, 08:44:07 AM
You do NOT want to give explosives to a demolition squid, that sets off the mating dance.
The last mating dance of the demo squid had to be covered up by something called "World War 2".
You didn't really believe in "submarines" did you? People need air! Wake up and smell the "depth charges"!
The elders still speak in hushed tones of those terrible, terrible times. The dance that goes with those stories is so awe-inducing that, looking back at the pale ghost of it that was performed at my adulthood ceremonies, I still shudder. It is said now that Witch Doktor Howl and ECH are the only men left alive who have seen that dance and survived.
for a given value of survived, I mean, one of them thinks he lives in Tucson!
The other has it worse though, he
knows he lives in Tucson.
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 08, 2015, 03:22:14 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on July 08, 2015, 08:44:07 AM
You do NOT want to give explosives to a demolition squid, that sets off the mating dance.
The last mating dance of the demo squid had to be covered up by something called "World War 2".
You didn't really believe in "submarines" did you? People need air! Wake up and smell the "depth charges"!
The elders still speak in hushed tones of those terrible, terrible times. The dance that goes with those stories is so awe-inducing that, looking back at the pale ghost of it that was performed at my adulthood ceremonies, I still shudder. It is said now that Witch Doktor Howl and ECH are the only men left alive who have seen that dance and survived.
I survived through proper application of Bad Science. ECH survived because he's seen worse. WWII, to ECH, was "that time when everyone got in a ruckus at the same time and had to be slapped down". He is like the world's bouncer. If you can't behave, OUT YOU GO. This is why there are so many Nazis and such floating frozen in orbit.
How do we stop them from leaving short of marrying them and reverse plantationing them?
:oops: I'M SORRY BUT IT SEEMS BLOBFISH IS INEDIBLE, PLEASE DON'T EAT THE TEA CAKES :oops:
Oh this really is a disaster, who could have known they were so wretched, look at all their fleshy skin... oh dear, so sorry.
(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BUOWw4ICMAAUJlh.jpg:large)
Quote from: Raphaella on July 08, 2015, 10:48:06 PM
:oops: I'M SORRY BUT IT SEEMS BLOBFISH IS INEDIBLE, PLEASE DON'T EAT THE TEA CAKES :oops:
Oh this really is a disaster, who could have known they were so wretched, look at all their fleshy skin... oh dear, so sorry.
(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BUOWw4ICMAAUJlh.jpg:large)
Oh no
NO
Is it too late? I ONLY ATE SIX. I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIEEEEEEEE
Quote from: Faust on July 08, 2015, 10:27:52 PM
How do we stop them from leaving short of marrying them and reverse plantationing them?
Syphilis.
Or, we could offer them blankets.
Quote from: Raphaella on July 08, 2015, 10:48:06 PM
:oops: I'M SORRY BUT IT SEEMS BLOBFISH IS INEDIBLE, PLEASE DON'T EAT THE TEA CAKES :oops:
Oh this really is a disaster, who could have known they were so wretched, look at all their fleshy skin... oh dear, so sorry.
(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BUOWw4ICMAAUJlh.jpg:large)
Worry not my dear, I have THE CURE right here! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcUza_wWCfA)
Thank goodness you've found a cure! Quickly now administer it to the afflicted. Oh how lovely! They have brought gifts!
THANK YOU FOR THE SYPHILIS BLANKETS WE WILL TREASURE THEM ALWAYS.
Do you think they've bought it? I'm certainly not keeping syphilis infested blankets here in camp, toss them into the wreckage of the ship, I can only hope the savage squid won't get to them in there...
Quote from: Faust on July 08, 2015, 10:27:52 PM
How do we stop them from leaving short of marrying them and reverse plantationing them?
I intend to follow them if they try to leave.
I overheard their plans to go to some place called evolvefest.
I'll bring a big rock and hit them over the head with it, then drag them back here.
Quote from: Reginald Ret on July 09, 2015, 09:17:11 AM
Quote from: Faust on July 08, 2015, 10:27:52 PM
How do we stop them from leaving short of marrying them and reverse plantationing them?
I intend to follow them if they try to leave.
I overheard their plans to go to some place called evolvefest.
I'll bring a big rock and hit them over the head with it, then drag them back here.
Evolvefest?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 09, 2015, 03:28:43 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on July 09, 2015, 09:17:11 AM
Quote from: Faust on July 08, 2015, 10:27:52 PM
How do we stop them from leaving short of marrying them and reverse plantationing them?
I intend to follow them if they try to leave.
I overheard their plans to go to some place called evolvefest.
I'll bring a big rock and hit them over the head with it, then drag them back here.
Evolvefest?
hxxps://www.facebook.com/evolvefestival ?
They seem like a bunch of scumbags. I'd enjoy trolling them.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 09, 2015, 03:28:43 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on July 09, 2015, 09:17:11 AM
Quote from: Faust on July 08, 2015, 10:27:52 PM
How do we stop them from leaving short of marrying them and reverse plantationing them?
I intend to follow them if they try to leave.
I overheard their plans to go to some place called evolvefest.
I'll bring a big rock and hit them over the head with it, then drag them back here.
Evolvefest?
I found where I read it!
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=37429.msg1380524#msg1380524
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 09, 2015, 07:04:41 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 09, 2015, 03:28:43 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on July 09, 2015, 09:17:11 AM
Quote from: Faust on July 08, 2015, 10:27:52 PM
How do we stop them from leaving short of marrying them and reverse plantationing them?
I intend to follow them if they try to leave.
I overheard their plans to go to some place called evolvefest.
I'll bring a big rock and hit them over the head with it, then drag them back here.
Evolvefest?
hxxps://www.facebook.com/evolvefestival ?
They seem like a bunch of scumbags. I'd enjoy trolling them.
Yeah I checked out that group. It needs a good trolling. I don't have any sock accounts for FB though. I was hoping it would have it's own separate message board or something. I'll keep scoping them out when I have time, I suppose it's not too hard to make a few FB accounts.
LOL. They mixed the idea of "natural law" with "sovereign beings".
Something tells me they misunderstand at least one of those terms.
Oh, and they're Jesus wailers.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 10, 2015, 01:17:48 AM
LOL. They mixed the idea of "natural law" with "sovereign beings".
Something tells me they misunderstand at least one of those terms.
Worth noting: http://sensiblereason.com/evolvefest-homophobic-anti-semitic-transformation-festival/
Quote from: Fawkes on July 07, 2015, 11:14:08 PM
https://youtu.be/s92P-fUkcZ4 (https://youtu.be/s92P-fUkcZ4)
What an odd custom
We know why the caged bird self-immolates.
Quote from: Cain on July 10, 2015, 02:37:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 10, 2015, 01:17:48 AM
LOL. They mixed the idea of "natural law" with "sovereign beings".
Something tells me they misunderstand at least one of those terms.
Worth noting: http://sensiblereason.com/evolvefest-homophobic-anti-semitic-transformation-festival/
Wow.
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on July 10, 2015, 02:51:31 AM
Quote from: Cain on July 10, 2015, 02:37:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 10, 2015, 01:17:48 AM
LOL. They mixed the idea of "natural law" with "sovereign beings".
Something tells me they misunderstand at least one of those terms.
Worth noting: http://sensiblereason.com/evolvefest-homophobic-anti-semitic-transformation-festival/
Wow.
You can also look up the owner https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=david+andrew+bryson
Pretty sure the hedge fund guy is a different person, but it would be nice to double check.
Quote from: Cain on July 10, 2015, 03:03:18 AM
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on July 10, 2015, 02:51:31 AM
Quote from: Cain on July 10, 2015, 02:37:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 10, 2015, 01:17:48 AM
LOL. They mixed the idea of "natural law" with "sovereign beings".
Something tells me they misunderstand at least one of those terms.
Worth noting: http://sensiblereason.com/evolvefest-homophobic-anti-semitic-transformation-festival/
Wow.
You can also look up the owner https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=david+andrew+bryson
Pretty sure the hedge fund guy is a different person, but it would be nice to double check.
He could be lying, but the FB David is single, and the hedgefund David is married according to an article I looked at. I totally looked into this super hard. :roll: at myself
Dude vouches for Uber. Lol.
Quote from: Cain on July 10, 2015, 02:37:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 10, 2015, 01:17:48 AM
LOL. They mixed the idea of "natural law" with "sovereign beings".
Something tells me they misunderstand at least one of those terms.
Worth noting: http://sensiblereason.com/evolvefest-homophobic-anti-semitic-transformation-festival/
I love the notion that adopting is "purchasing a lifestyle accessory". :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 10, 2015, 03:57:45 AM
Quote from: Cain on July 10, 2015, 02:37:02 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 10, 2015, 01:17:48 AM
LOL. They mixed the idea of "natural law" with "sovereign beings".
Something tells me they misunderstand at least one of those terms.
Worth noting: http://sensiblereason.com/evolvefest-homophobic-anti-semitic-transformation-festival/
I love the notion that adopting is "purchasing a lifestyle accessory". :lulz:
It was for Joan Crawford.
(http://sensiblereason.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/FB_IMG_1422848357805.jpg)
Sure, except that pedophilia is probably more reviled now than it has been in the last 70 years. What a douche.
:horrormirth: Oh wow that is a deep and frightful type of batshit. It's almost... too crazy. I kinda feel bad for him just by reading this stuff. Like, was he molested as a child and is now a wounded pedophile who has sublimated his pedophilia and transformed it into a kind of "healing" hate directed at Jews and Homosexuals? :?