Dear Brain.
Today you've really been making me want to feel loved. Cut that shit out will you? I enjoy being hateful, political, nihilistic, and an all around asshole. Granted, I swap from extreme to extreme quickly. So while I do enjoy the occasional feeding the homeless and letting them use my shower, I also enjoy filling up their change cups with foreign money. But really, stop your feely bullshit. It's a waste of time to actively search for love with goals like to find a soul mate, or to find a friend. Cause you can't force those things. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing, and eventually someone will roll along that I click with. So stop making me feel so alone. I talk to people for a few hours each day. I'm socially adjusted. I hope.
Not my fault that there are only so many people like me. Well kinda is, because I pursue things away from the bell curve, but you'll be damned before I compromise myself just for some cheap cuddles or love.
Quote from: Meunster on November 16, 2015, 09:32:03 AM
Dear Brain.
Today you've really been making me want to feel loved. Cut that shit out will you? I enjoy being hateful, political, nihilistic, and an all around asshole. Granted, I swap from extreme to extreme quickly. So while I do enjoy the occasional feeding the homeless and letting them use my shower, I also enjoy filling up their change cups with foreign money. But really, stop your feely bullshit. It's a waste of time to actively search for love with goals like to find a soul mate, or to find a friend. Cause you can't force those things. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing, and eventually someone will roll along that I click with. So stop making me feel so alone. I talk to people for a few hours each day. I'm socially adjusted. I hope.
Not my fault that there are only so many people like me. Well kinda is, because I pursue things away from the bell curve, but you'll be damned before I compromise myself just for some cheap cuddles or love.
It's so funny, because you're
almost on the right track.
Almost.
It's not a waste of time to actively search for a partner, or a friendship. In fact, being proactive greatly enhances your chance of succeeding in finding them.
I think really common pitfalls when searching for a relationship are: 1) Having inflated hopes about where the relationship will go, and being disappointed when it doesn't turn out that way. We all have a mental roadmap of where we imagine relationship will take us in life. When we meet someone, our mind races to imagine what future will be like with this person. I'm pretty sure this tendency is just natural for us humans, and not necessarily bad at all. But we have to realize that it's just a map, not reality. Of course this doesn't make our disappointments any less painful...but we can be more aware of what is relationship reality and what are just hopes being projected onto reality.
And 2) is viewing every relationship that didn't work out as a "failure". I'm not saying that you ever used that phrase or that perhaps think that way, but it's thing that I've noticed is common in our society and is incredibly negative and unhelpful. Just because a relationship doesn't last forever, or doesn't turn out cookie cutter perfect, does not make it a failure.
Like you said, you just have to keep talking to people and being sociable. I think it's definitely possible to reign in expectations without giving up completely.
Also, perhaps you would be more attractive to others if you refrained from being an all-around asshole.
Brain Fart Vapours Rising Smoke Ascending Hydrogen Burning The Good Reverend Rogers Penis Burning With The Hatred of 10,000 Suns.
Listen to Nast. Nast has it right.
Nast is Lonely Pervert wants You To be Just like Nast We Are Seperate Entities.
Quote from: Chaos_Zebra on November 17, 2015, 01:37:56 PM
Brain Fart Vapours Rising Smoke Ascending Hydrogen Burning The Good Reverend Rogers Penis Burning With The Hatred of 10,000 Suns.
They are my people, and I am their king.
Quote from: Nast on November 17, 2015, 05:08:35 AM
Also, perhaps you would be more attractive to others if you refrained from being an all-around asshole.
You know how this is going to end.
Quote from: Nast on November 17, 2015, 05:08:35 AM
Also, perhaps you would be more attractive to others if you refrained from being an all-around asshole.
But I want to find someone who is as much of an asshole as me, so we can be assholes together.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2015, 03:46:16 PM
Quote from: Chaos_Zebra on November 17, 2015, 01:37:56 PM
Brain Fart Vapours Rising Smoke Ascending Hydrogen Burning The Good Reverend Rogers Penis Burning With The Hatred of 10,000 Suns.
They are my people, and I am their king.
I almost said something, because, again.
And stop messing with my stomach. Yeah, i know I'm making big life choices that could fuck up and I'm nervous over every little thing, but that doesn't mean you have to wrench my guts like this. Just chill til a problem occurs then I'll fix it, I shouldn't be feeling like I fucked up before I've even fucked up.
Quote from: Chaos_Zebra on November 17, 2015, 01:49:41 PM
Nast is Lonely Pervert wants You To be Just like Nast We Are Seperate Entities.
Bro, go fuck yourself. Nast is a totally sweet and awesome character, and you're a shitbag.
Brain, I know you're feeling cuddly and striving for love, but can you cut it with the dreams about her. Why are you doing this after a year? It's pathetic. I'll go make a tinder or plenty of fish account if you're that desperate for someone to hold us. Just cut it with these dreams. Though tbh, the one where I was the lone wanderer was fun, do more of those.
Have you considered getting therapy? I'm not (just) being a dick, therapy really can help a lot and you seem to have a lot of inner conflict around vulnerability.
Speaking of which, have you seen Brene Brown's great talk on vulnerability?
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en
Have a look at Amy Cuddy while you're at it:
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
And of course, because so many people struggle with this, Kathryn Schultz:
https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong?language=en
Being lonely is really hard, on a lot of levels. It can make people really neurotic. I think that a host of psychological ills arise from inadequate social support.
I'll check them out afterwork.
Thanks
YW.
ALCHOLICS DONT DREAM.
NEITHER DO IMSONIACS.
QuoteSpeaking of which, have you seen Brene Brown's great talk on vulnerability?
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en
I friggin' loved this one, and I'm glad you reposted it.
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on November 26, 2015, 02:02:21 AM
QuoteSpeaking of which, have you seen Brene Brown's great talk on vulnerability?
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en
I friggin' loved this one, and I'm glad you reposted it.
She's AWESOME.
Cacioppo is not the most compelling speaker, but his work inspires me tremendously: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0hxl03JoA0
Great, so all my problems are because I'm lonely. And I've been regressing to a shit poster because my only friend is in jail.
Great.
Go check out therapy, like Nigel suggested. Even look at group stuff, make more friends and the like.
Quote from: Meunster on November 26, 2015, 09:19:34 PM
Great, so all my problems are because I'm lonely. And I've been regressing to a shit poster because my only friend is in jail.
Great.
https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene?language=en
Quote from: Meunster on November 26, 2015, 09:19:34 PM
Great, so all my problems are because I'm lonely. And I've been regressing to a shit poster because my only friend is in jail.
Great.
Boohoo. I work three nights out of every six and then when I'm not working, I'm studying. Social life, friends...what are those?
Amazingly, I manage to not shitpost everywhere.
Quote from: Cain on November 27, 2015, 09:54:16 PM
Quote from: Meunster on November 26, 2015, 09:19:34 PM
Great, so all my problems are because I'm lonely. And I've been regressing to a shit poster because my only friend is in jail.
Great.
Boohoo. I work three nights out of every six and then when I'm not working, I'm studying. Social life, friends...what are those?
Amazingly, I manage to not shitpost everywhere.
Yeah, but you also have a purpose to your life and a drive to achieve your goals. As far as I can tell, this kid has no goals and hasn't found any purpose or drive in his life yet.
I'm not really sure whether he's trolling or not. But then I figure, if he is trolling, what is he laughing about? "HAHAHA, I tricked Nigel into being supportive and compassionate!"
Yeah, how embarrassing.
This is true.
Meunster, do a post-grad degree. Your life will become a remorseless hell of reading and studying to the point you won't care about being lonely.