Today I drove home doing 53 MPH in the left lane with my right blinker on for 5 miles. I stopped at the grocery store on the way, where I parked 6" away from the car on my right. Inside, I used the restroom, hopelessly jamming up the toilet. Then I left my cart in the middle of the aisle while I stood next to it for 5 minutes, debating my choice of taco seasoning. Then I took 3-4 minutes recounting my change in the express checkout. Leaving, I left my cart in the parking spot on my left side.
I am THAT FUCKING GUY. And while I enjoy what I do, it is exhausting and I feel as if I should be compensated.