1. If my Antarctic expedition finds frozen bodies of an alien species, I will leave them where the fuck they are. And I will leave. And I will never tell nobody, nor will I leave a cryptic diary laying around.
2. I will not join any research effort that involves being in a deep sea habitat.
3. I will never, under any circumstances, investigate a derelict ship/spaceship of any kind. I will blow it up and tell nobody.
4. If my team reports that they have located an anomaly on the moon, I will tell the press they are crazy and arrange fatal accidents for everyone involved.
5. If the engines involve shifting universes to bypass physics, I will have the researchers responsible shot and the records burned.
6. Aliens are not on my side. They're *aliens*. Why does this have to be explained? WTF is wrong with people?
7. When agents from <acronym> arrive to look at the site, I will have them shot from ambush and blame it on the libertarians.
8. When my old colleague shows up on my door after twenty years, babbling about some horror, I will call the police and have him beaten and removed.
9. If the AI becomes self aware, I am throwing kitchen magnets on the housing until it shuts the hell up. Also, air gaps.
10. Why the fuck am I on a space station and there are no vacc suits? Who the hell ordered this?
I will not bring an android with my team to investigate the enigma. I will send 10 androids and no people. I am certainly not going. When they have the data, they will send it to me and then set off the nuke I sent with them.
When shit gets spooky, I will call the fire department and tell them that there is smoke coming from where the whatzit is. Then I will observe what happens to them.
I will not collect meteorites.
If the last 3 guys went insane, I will not look, because I have pattern recognition skills.
I will definitely spend people off in groups of two at maximum when facing a potentially shapeshifting or mind-alterting entity.
I will not use nuclear weapons to contain a pathogen of unknown origin until I have confirmed that it doesn't actually thrive on intense radiation.
If I discover that all but one or two members of a research or colonization mission have been killed by "mysterious forces", but that the survivors are not only unscathed, but thriving, I shall assume that the survivors are responsible for the death of the others, and act accordingly.
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on May 20, 2019, 05:45:10 AM
I will not use nuclear weapons to contain a pathogen of unknown origin until I have confirmed that it doesn't actually thrive on intense radiation.
If I discover that all but one or two members of a research or colonization mission have been killed by "mysterious forces", but that the survivors are not only unscathed, but thriving, I shall assume that the survivors are responsible for the death of the others, and act accordingly.
1. In the face of unknown pathogens, I will use unreasonably large amounts of bleach, from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
2. THAT is when you use the nukes. Never trust a healthy person in a concentration camp.
Quote from: Cain on May 19, 2019, 03:09:41 AM
I will definitely spend people off in groups of two at maximum when facing a potentially shapeshifting or mind-alterting entity.
Send ONE. Just to fuck with the shifters.
Randomly bashing a keyboard, really fast, with an intense look of concentration on your face is a surefire means to breaking any strong encryption system
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 23, 2019, 12:15:33 PM
Randomly bashing a keyboard, really fast, with an intense look of concentration on your face is a surefire means to breaking any strong encryption system
I'll have you know that man has a Java certificate.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 20, 2019, 06:34:34 AM
Quote from: Cain on May 19, 2019, 03:09:41 AM
I will definitely spend people off in groups of two at maximum when facing a potentially shapeshifting or mind-alterting entity.
Send ONE. Just to fuck with the shifters.
I like this. I'm imagining the shapeshifter going, "shit, what now?"
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 19, 2019, 02:07:49 AM
1. If my Antarctic expedition finds frozen bodies of an alien species, I will leave them where the fuck they are. And I will leave. And I will never tell nobody, nor will I leave a cryptic diary laying around.
2. I will not join any research effort that involves being in a deep sea habitat.
3. I will never, under any circumstances, investigate a derelict ship/spaceship of any kind. I will blow it up and tell nobody.
4. If my team reports that they have located an anomaly on the moon, I will tell the press they are crazy and arrange fatal accidents for everyone involved.
5. If the engines involve shifting universes to bypass physics, I will have the researchers responsible shot and the records burned.
6. Aliens are not on my side. They're *aliens*. Why does this have to be explained? WTF is wrong with people?
7. When agents from <acronym> arrive to look at the site, I will have them shot from ambush and blame it on the libertarians.
8. When my old colleague shows up on my door after twenty years, babbling about some horror, I will call the police and have him beaten and removed.
9. If the AI becomes self aware, I am throwing kitchen magnets on the housing until it shuts the hell up. Also, air gaps.
10. Why the fuck am I on a space station and there are no vacc suits? Who the hell ordered this?
I feel like you would be really fun to play Fiasco (https://bullypulpitgames.com/games/fiasco/) with.
I will move far away if the local zoo announces they are building a genetic crossbred/cloned dinosaur habitat.
If on vacation at the shore, I will use the hotel pool when a great white shark is sighted off the beach.
Quote from: Brother Mythos on July 10, 2019, 08:39:35 PM
If on vacation at the shore, I will use the hotel pool when a great white shark is sighted off the beach.
Pool's closed due to sharks. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvYvTiiBR9Q)