Anyone ever read his romance novels? They're so hysterical....especially the one where he's a Pirate....
YARRRRR
Is this fabio with wind in his hair? quite braindead and "chippendales gorgeous" (as a friend coined it)?
I haven't, but romance novels in general crack me up.
I remember trolling a self-publishing forum once and seeing a lady's profile with a description of her romance novel, newly published.
Let me see if I can find it... ah, here it is.
QuoteDid you ever wonder if there were aliens out there? And what would happen if those aliens wanted your world? Mikaela never gave much thought to those questions either until the day she found herself barreling into the hard chest of one very amused and very real alien.
Well, she thought as she stared at the gorgeous man before her, I guess it’s safe to say we can put the little green man idea to rest.
Lord Marcone was about as far from little and green as you could get. As Captain of the Imperial Militia invading Earth he was a man feared by many. But this Militia Captain was not who he appeared to be and he knew that last thing he needed in his already complicated life was to develop feelings for a woman, especially a handful like this one.
But the more time that he spent with her, the more he was drawn to her. Her beauty held him spellbound, her stubbornness infuriated him, but her sarcastic wit never failed to make him laugh. Not above using seduction to get what he wanted, he soon made it clear that what he wanted was her.
No man had ever affected her the way that he did and she tried desperately to fight her feelings where he was concerned. But the more she got to know him the more she realized that something wasn’t right. How could the cold hard officer that could strike fear in a man with just a look, also be the gentle kind man that he was with her? Who was the real Marcone and did she dare to risk her heart to find out?
Her questions will soon be answered for by his own hands his cover as a mole for the rebels will be blown and he’ll pull off a dangerous stunt that will not only save Earth but rid the galaxy of a tyrant that has ruled for far too long.
Now
that's an ambitious romance novel!
:? :lol: (http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/blackeye/lol.gif)(http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/otn/laughing/yelrotflmao.gif)
Ide totally read that book
QuoteIs this fabio with wind in his hair? quite braindead and "chippendales gorgeous" (as a friend coined it)?
Yes indeedy and I woulndt call him gorgeous, I mean damn he's got bigger boobs than most women. And the Pirate book was hilariously cheezy.
I like romance novels!
I've figured out a system - if the summary blurb on the back cover has only two short paragraphs but more than sixteen adjectives, I know that the author is going to make up in smut what she lacks in plotline.
And if there's an pseudo-Native American male cover model (ie, Fabio with his hair photoshopped black), and a blond chick with her skirts over her thighs, the smut totally replaces the plotline!
Mmmm, smut.
whats your favorite smut author and book?
Mine is The Dutchess by Jude Deveroux
Another thing I found from the excellent thread Learn Writing with Uncle Jim (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.topic&start=1&stop=20) was this fabulous link (http://www.saralaughs.com/blog/archives/000498.html), and while romance novels aren't my thing, this excerpt made me want to go get the book.
I wish more romance novels were like that one.
Quote from: Hoshikothis fabulous link (http://www.saralaughs.com/blog/archives/000498.html)
... and now you've gone and gotten me all hot and conflicted.
oh jesus this is funny.
It's not smut, but "The Door Into Fire" has a lot of sex in it....men and women, men and men, women and women, women and Goddesses....
::runs off to dunk her head in a bucket of ice water::
If I want porn I just get into my hubby's old Penthouse magazines.
Just saying.
Ifound my exs foot locker FULL of playboyamd penthouse WAYYYYYYYYY in teh super back of his closet
poor guy didnt know what to do when he came home adn saw me reading them very happily
why do guys freak whden the GF find the porn?
because we all really deep down inside want to be the knight in shining armor and that brings forth all our ehm how do you say "lesser worth complexes etc" knowing that you like pr0n too.. that's like being beaten in a game of backgammenw which you're fairly new at and then wants to bring it on at a game of chess which you fkin pwns in only to know that he pwns you within ten minutes.
or it's the old shame thing still hanging on from the 50's or whatever
Quote from: MalaulIfound my exs foot locker FULL of playboyamd penthouse WAYYYYYYYYY in teh super back of his closet
poor guy didnt know what to do when he came home adn saw me reading them very happily
why do guys freak whden the GF find the porn?
Because when they find our vibrators it makes them feel insecure so they think a 'dirty' magazine is going to do the same to us. More greyface brainwashing. If there were no shame associated with sex none of it would matter. And a lot of us would be happier. (http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/noughty/smileysex.gif)
Quote from: eldora_avalonQuote from: MalaulIfound my exs foot locker FULL of playboyamd penthouse WAYYYYYYYYY in teh super back of his closet
poor guy didnt know what to do when he came home adn saw me reading them very happily
why do guys freak whden the GF find the porn?
Because when they find our vibrators it makes them feel insecure so they think a 'dirty' magazine is going to do the same to us. More greyface brainwashing. If there were no shame associated with sex none of it would matter. And a lot of us would be happier. (http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/noughty/smileysex.gif)
hmmmm
ok
that makes sence
but Ididnt have one back then...
I think some guys assume that their girlfriends all masturbate when they're not around and it makes them feel inadequate.
And I gotta say that I love that little shagging smiley...
Someone once told me that it's like shining a spotlight on their hidden fantasy and saying "Is that it? That's not so bad, everyone does/thinks that." Kinda ruins the point.
Quote from: eldora_avalonQuote from: MalaulIfound my exs foot locker FULL of playboyamd penthouse WAYYYYYYYYY in teh super back of his closet
poor guy didnt know what to do when he came home adn saw me reading them very happily
why do guys freak whden the GF find the porn?
Because when they find our vibrators it makes them feel insecure so they think a 'dirty' magazine is going to do the same to us. More greyface brainwashing. If there were no shame associated with sex none of it would matter. And a lot of us would be happier. (http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/noughty/smileysex.gif)
That does make alot of sense, actually. People want variety or the illusion of variety, but want their partners to be completely happy with the same thing, the same thing being them. I think it's partly instinctual. We were initially built to mate with many different people, but to protect our mating territory from others.
I wish people were more open in general too. We should be past those jealous instincts. Shame + Sex = Mess.
SHAME + SEX = GRANDPAPPY'S BEEN INTO THE CHEAP WHISKEY AGAIN!
8)