Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: Zurtok Khan on February 25, 2005, 06:37:42 AM

Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: Zurtok Khan on February 25, 2005, 06:37:42 AM
Stretched to the center, syncopation.
Fortunately found the elevation,
rhythm scheme, a mix of lights
she's the one for which he fights.
Empty, empty coronosphere,
Who is the one left here?
The Individual Empty Night,
has nothing left but starlight.
No passion enters here,
nothing left but to fear,
it's not enough, not allowed,
nothing to hope for,
you're just a cloud,
paralyze'd by rejection
to be with you might mean infection.
Can't have that,
no way, no how.
What do you think about her now?
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 25, 2005, 03:12:06 PM
shit.

utter shit.

isn't there a crappy poetry forum somewhere on the web? why must people polute our discordian forum with something as structured as poetry? verse, meter, rhyme, reason...it's really pretty aneristic when you think about it...and to make matters worse, 99% of it (at least what gets posted here) is absolute and total self-indulgent crap that wouldn't pass muster in a 3rd grade creative writing class...

just sayin'

8)
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2005, 04:00:52 PM
Quote from: McStabshit.

utter shit.

isn't there a crappy poetry forum somewhere on the web? why must people polute our discordian forum with something as structured as poetry? verse, meter, rhyme, reason...it's really pretty aneristic when you think about it...and to make matters worse, 99% of it (at least what gets posted here) is absolute and total self-indulgent crap that wouldn't pass muster in a 3rd grade creative writing class...

just sayin'

8)

Hey...at least he's trying.  While free-form isn't my style, different strokes for different folks, no?
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: Solitaire on February 25, 2005, 04:16:14 PM
Quoteshit.

utter shit.

isn't there a crappy poetry forum somewhere on the web? why must people polute our discordian forum with something as structured as poetry? verse, meter, rhyme, reason...it's really pretty aneristic when you think about it...and to make matters worse, 99% of it (at least what gets posted here) is absolute and total self-indulgent crap that wouldn't pass muster in a 3rd grade creative writing class...

just sayin'

Cool

Before you go off on a tangent about structure and how it is aneristic, pause and consider which is more "grey":

a). A completely structureless, formless venting of words which apparently convey some deep, meaninful message about the nature of reality and is only intelligible to the author and perhaps a few people of the same persuasion.

2). Something which accomplishes the above, or even carries subversive messages or in-jokes (if a metaphor, say, is considered from a specific angle), all within the "aneristic" structure of a "grey" poem. To convey the essence of chaos and disorder within a structured, mundane code-vessel is surely more impressive.

I would also direct you toward the fact that order and chaos can be viewed in different ways: A finite, closed system of molecules could be said to be aneristic if it were homogenous throughout - you will always find the same things, with the same average momentums and so on. If the system had molecules arranged in a specific shape (an "order" of molecules, perhaps) the result would be eristic because the vectors could not have been predicted.

In addition to this I direct you to page 00056.

Quoteand to make matters worse, 99% of it (at least what gets posted here) is absolute and total self-indulgent crap that wouldn't pass muster in a 3rd grade creative writing class...

I would, however, agree with this. Poetry for poetry's sake alone is a different thing altogether.
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2005, 04:34:08 PM
Quote from: Solitaire
I would, however, agree with this. Poetry for poetry's sake alone is a different thing altogether.

Um...how does one improve without practice?
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: Cain on February 25, 2005, 04:39:26 PM
Quote from: McStabisn't there a crappy poetry forum somewhere on the web?

Ask, and ye shall recieve.

Vogon Poetry (http://www.totse.com/bin/bbs/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Vogon+Poetry:+Worst+in+the+Galaxy&number=18&DaysPrune=1000&LastLogin=)

Don't say I never give you anything. And play nice with them.
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: LMNO on February 25, 2005, 05:14:44 PM
Why on earth would I ever want to click on something listed as "Vogon Poetry"?

I'm scared.  Hold me?
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: Cain on February 25, 2005, 05:41:15 PM
Go on, click it.  You know you want to.  Its like viewing a car crash. Its nasty, and you'll regret it, but you just cant help yourself, out of morbid fascination.  Click it.
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2005, 05:45:25 PM
Quote from: KenseiGo on, click it.  You know you want to.  Its like viewing a car crash. Its nasty, and you'll regret it, but you just cant help yourself, out of morbid fascination.  Click it.

Well..it IS shiny...
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: slothrop23 on February 25, 2005, 05:57:57 PM
did someone say car crash

http://poetry.rotten.com/redlight/
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 25, 2005, 06:31:10 PM
I just threw up in my mouth a little....

8)
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: slothrop23 on February 25, 2005, 09:21:22 PM
thats disgusting. you dirty dirty boy

http://poetry.rotten.com/weightlifter/    you probably don't want to see this!
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: Cain on February 25, 2005, 09:24:42 PM
Quote from: slothrop unloadedthats disgusting. you dirty dirty boy

http://poetry.rotten.com/weightlifter/    you probably don't want to see this!

:lol:  I heard about that one before!
Title: Just a Cloud (Poem)
Post by: slothrop23 on February 25, 2005, 09:29:05 PM
dare i say that its badarse.