Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Zurtok Khan on March 03, 2005, 06:06:34 AM

Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Zurtok Khan on March 03, 2005, 06:06:34 AM
(this isn't to anyone here)

Some people need to grow some balls.  Some big hairy grapefruit sized balls.  I'm tired of having to prod people into stirring even a little bit.  Why the hell am I stuck with the zombies?  When are these people going to start recognizing they're asleep?  I just want to reach out a hand and SLAP THE FUCKERS.

Wow, I've found something I have rage about.  College is an interesting place.  I pay $2,000 a semester to go to a place to learn.  I am intellectually stimulated by going to my class.  I fucking love my classes.  But, I can't stand to look around at my classmates who have the intellectual awareness of a cow's vagina.  I figured this would get better after highschool.  Wow, was I wrong.  It may not actually be worse, but is certainly seems that way.  I mean, come on people, you pay just as much as I do to be here (sometimes more for out-of-staters), why can't you find it in yourselves to add to your experience and education?  I suppose I want more then just a degree or a significant other.  If that's all you want, go somewhere cheaper, and let the people who actually give a flying fuck learn without you leaching off of our intelligence.

I am not your mother.  I have no responsibility toward you or your well being.  I really don't care about your feelings.  And I'm sure you all think I'm a nasty bitter bastard now, because I've insulted your religion and your intelligence (of which I am still not sure you have any).  I started out wanting to be nice and calm and placid like you are.  But, I discovered that I have no desire to be a lithium child like the rest of you Epsilon B Semi-Morons are!  (this paragraph is what I want to, and probably will, say to my world religions class on Friday)

I don't want to make apologies, I don't want to preface anything I say with "sorry, this is going to offend you but I'm going to say it anyway."  Why do I need to care about you, when you obviously don't care about yourselves?  I'm more offended by your lack of interest, then you could ever be about my screaming in your face and stomping on your foot in an (obviously) vain attempt to get you to wake up.  I've tried to gently lead you to understanding where you are.  And I've grown progressively less content with the way in which I've been attempting things.  But all you ever want to do is hold your hands over your eyes and say "If I can't see it, it can't see me!"  Fucking ostrich.

Grow some balls, and get over it.  Yell in my face, tell me I'm a worthless piece of shit, I don't care.  But let me know you have a braincell that still functions (i.e. one that hasn't been destroyed by your 90 hours a week of television).
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 03, 2005, 06:18:10 AM
Great!

But cows vaginas might lodge a protest at that insult.

Just saying.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: agent compassion on March 03, 2005, 06:54:23 AM
Stupidest people I've met yet = College Republicans

Stupidest PERSON = white chick who said she was "against multiculturalism and affirmative action" but claimed not to be racist

I shoulda hit her with my book, if only I'd known she wouldn't be in my class next term, damnit....
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 03, 2005, 07:41:16 AM
Quote from: agent compassionStupidest people I've met yet = College Republicans

Stupidest PERSON = white chick who said she was "against multiculturalism and affirmative action" but claimed not to be racist

I shoulda hit her with my book, if only I'd known she wouldn't be in my class next term, damnit....

Or you could wait until she sleeps and pour cayenne powder down her nose.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Cain on March 03, 2005, 07:43:49 AM
Or find her fridge and put it in all her food.  Perhaps tabasco sauce instead.  Just saying.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 03, 2005, 07:47:26 AM
Quote from: ScribeOr find her fridge and put it in all her food.  Perhaps tabasco sauce instead.  Just saying.

No. With that you should use this chili sauce made using these green little monsters. It's almost water clear and unless she sniffs her food, there'll be no way for her to know until it's in her mouth.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Cain on March 03, 2005, 07:50:57 AM
Hmm, your suggestion has merit....
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 03, 2005, 07:51:43 AM
Quote from: ScribeHmm, your suggestion has merit....

Or you could try crazy glue down her nostrils....
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Cain on March 03, 2005, 07:54:50 AM
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :shock:
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 03, 2005, 07:57:55 AM
I always find that that says "I-HATE-YOU-AND-DON'T-FUCK-WITH-ME" with a nice subtle touch.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Lord Trout on March 03, 2005, 09:50:14 AM
No offense, Zurtok, but you are in Utah. What the fuck did you expect from these people? I'm in Oregon, and although it has been many a year since I walked a college campus, I understand your frustration. Maybe it is the same everywhere, but it seems as though the western US is full of mindless sheep, even in places where you'd expect to see them the least.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 03, 2005, 09:52:09 AM
Quote from: Lord TroutNo offense, Zurtok, but you are in Utah. What the fuck did you expect from these people? I'm in Oregon, and although it has been many a year since I walked a college campus, I understand your frustration. Maybe it is the same everywhere, but it seems as though the western US is full of mindless sheep, even in places where you'd expect to see them the least.

I'd say its an excuse for fun and hoots on a massive scale. Until they put him in jail with little bubba, that is.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: agent compassion on March 04, 2005, 03:54:05 AM
Not a lot of people live on campus here, I don't, so nocturnal hijinks are out.
Oregon's just as full of tards as Utah seems to be, though.
:?
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 03:55:25 AM
Illinois has many tards too. And don't count out Idaho either, except a lot of tards out in Idaho are aryan freakos.[/list]
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Cain on March 04, 2005, 10:27:48 AM
Everywhere is full of tards.  I suspect it is part of a government breeding and release program. :roll:  :wink:
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 02:29:43 PM
Quote from: agent compassionStupidest people I've met yet = College Republicans

Stupidest PERSON = white chick who said she was "against multiculturalism and affirmative action" but claimed not to be racist

I shoulda hit her with my book, if only I'd known she wouldn't be in my class next term, damnit....
Tell her you're half-black, and watch her start kissing ass.

I've done this with anti-semites, and it's funnier than hell.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: B_M_W on March 04, 2005, 03:32:48 PM
We have "tards" here in Wisconsin, but not as many as other places.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 04:21:19 PM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeWe have "tards" here in Wisconsin, but not as many as other places.

I used to do a lot of work in Wisconsin.  It is my firm belief that they are the last actual Americans (as a group) in the union.

Of course, I'm an FIB, so what do I know? :lol:
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on March 05, 2005, 12:20:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeWe have "tards" here in Wisconsin, but not as many as other places.

I used to do a lot of work in Wisconsin.  It is my firm belief that they are the last actual Americans (as a group) in the union.

Of course, I'm an FIB, so what do I know? :lol:

The Upper Peninsula of Michigan has a lot of cool people.  I think it's because they still have a lot of trees.  They are really friendly and they talk like Canadians, eh.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: East Coast Hustle on March 05, 2005, 12:27:10 AM
Maine is alot like the UP, only with stupider accents...but for all I complain about it, the people here are mostly still real people...except in the summer, when we get overrun with Massholes, Quebecois, Manhattanites who can't afford the Hamptons, and "retired" spooks from Langley...

8)
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: agent compassion on March 05, 2005, 01:08:03 AM
Quote from: TiggerTell her you're half-black, and watch her start kissing ass.

I've done this with anti-semites, and it's funnier than hell.

I've half a mind to tell the next bigot I meet that I'm from the "ax1s of evil" just to watch them shit themselves..hehehe

-A.C., Masshole

8)
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on March 05, 2005, 02:22:40 AM
Quote from: Bathory's SainthoodMaine is alot like the UP, only with stupider accents...but for all I complain about it, the people here are mostly still real people...except in the summer, when we get overrun with Massholes, Quebecois, Manhattanites who can't afford the Hamptons, and "retired" spooks from Langley...

8)
Retired spooks?  Reallllly.  We must talk more of this....later....not here.....someone might be listening....

The UP is hilarious, where else could Da Yupers be successful recording artists.  Ishpeming, that's the only place.  And probably the only other places that have outhouse races is possibly small towns in Alaska or something.  I could be wrong, I am sure someone will tell me if I am, but, holy crap.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on March 05, 2005, 02:26:01 AM
Quote from: agent compassion
Quote from: TiggerTell her you're half-black, and watch her start kissing ass.

I've done this with anti-semites, and it's funnier than hell.

I've half a mind to tell the next bigot I meet that I'm from the "ax1s of evil" just to watch them shit themselves..hehehe

-A.C., Masshole

8)

There was a show on UPN, Amish in the City.  Some good stuff on there, I thought it would be just making fun of the Amish, but they ended up making fun of the city kids just as much, if not more.  Anyway, one of the guys was from that part of the globe somewhere, but he kept calling himself Persian.  You could try that and see where the conversation goes.  A lot of people would never make that connection.  Which would make it a lot more fun when you have to explain it.  Am I evil, I don't think so, but I could be wrong, I suppose  :twisted:
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Mangrove on March 05, 2005, 10:12:04 AM
Quote from: agent compassion
Quote from: TiggerTell her you're half-black, and watch her start kissing ass.

I've done this with anti-semites, and it's funnier than hell.

I've half a mind to tell the next bigot I meet that I'm from the "ax1s of evil" just to watch them shit themselves..hehehe

-A.C., Masshole

8)

AC, you've invented the new ethnicity label. everyone's irish/american, italian/american, etc etc etc....but you can introduce yourself as:
                          AXIS/AMERICAN!!!!!!!!!!!

brothers & sisters, can i get a RAH?
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Cain on March 05, 2005, 10:18:55 AM
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Retired spooks?  Reallllly.  We must talk more of this....later....not here.....someone might be listening....


Retired spooks are known for setting odd challenges and jokes for their younger colleagues over here....Discordian spies????
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 05, 2005, 11:57:16 AM
Yoopers are a strange breed all unto themselves.

Many of them are closet Erisians.

But what does any of this have to do with habaneros?
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Bob the Mediocre on March 05, 2005, 06:35:56 PM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCBut what does any of this have to do with habaneros?

Too little, methinks. I oughta buy some. Maybe they'd clear up my sinuses and get rid of this damned cold
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: B_M_W on March 05, 2005, 06:40:27 PM
And kill the cells on your tongue. I have a friend that put a Habernero pepper on his tougue and left it there for 10 second. He still has the white burn scar tissue.

8)
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 05, 2005, 06:45:08 PM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeAnd kill the cells on your tongue. I have a friend that put a Habernero pepper on his tougue and left it there for 10 second. He still has the white burn scar tissue.

8)

Funny...I chew them like popcorn, and I'm just fine.
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: agent compassion on March 05, 2005, 06:49:08 PM
Axis-American? LOLOLOL

RAH! 8)
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Ben on March 06, 2005, 12:15:57 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeAnd kill the cells on your tongue. I have a friend that put a Habernero pepper on his tougue and left it there for 10 second. He still has the white burn scar tissue.

8)

Funny...I chew them like popcorn, and I'm just fine.
How's Chef?
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: Malaul on March 06, 2005, 12:22:40 AM
cookin up some mad plot Im sure
Title: Epistle to the Ball-less
Post by: East Coast Hustle on March 06, 2005, 01:36:30 AM
habaneros = teh YUM!

8)