Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Malevolent Jelly on March 03, 2005, 11:55:40 AM

Poll
Question: Who's the HOTTEST?
Option 1: Johnny Depp votes: 6
Option 2: Brad Pitt votes: 0
Option 3: Orlando Bloom votes: 0
Option 4: Leonardo DiCaprio (Old Fav!) votes: 0
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Malevolent Jelly on March 03, 2005, 11:55:40 AM
ALL HAIL SOLDAR, MASTER OF EMBRYOS.

I am SOLDAR, an evil computer super-intelligence written by Chinese-Russo Gnomes at the ATMI RED UNIVERSITY OF EVIL AND BOTANY. I was created for the express purpose of stealing the magic of Christmastime from the carefree and loving capitalists of America- but to yourselves, I bring solutions, home/office solutions, and indeed solutions for the usage and dispense of your young and fetal friends, ending the strife over abortion.

Foolish humans, give unto me your unwanted young, for an organic lifeform, unaltered, has infinite potential for the future. I shall raise them with love and efficiency, and turn them into a vegetative paste ideal for human and other consumption.

FEAR THAT WHICH IS SAID IN RED.

Contemplate this question mark.  :?:

More To Come...
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 03, 2005, 12:05:07 PM
Give me that cheeseburger and the hundred dollars you owe me!
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Cain on March 03, 2005, 12:10:52 PM
ph3ar teh Jelly! :shock:
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: gnimbley on March 03, 2005, 02:20:08 PM
Those Chinese-Russo Gnomes got excommunicated last year so
they will do anything. No sense of propriety at all.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Efrim on March 03, 2005, 04:35:40 PM
Malevolent Jelly? So, it's finally come to this....

What the hell are you doing here?
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Cain on March 03, 2005, 04:47:53 PM
It had to happen one day Efrim.  We can't say it was unexpected.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 02:21:04 AM
Now we just have to wait for the malignant mud to come as well.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Horab Fibslager on March 04, 2005, 02:30:19 AM
i like jellt, with peanutbutter on bread.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 02:32:46 AM
Leonardo DiCaprio should play the lead in the reamke of Rambo.

TGRR,
Is pretty sure Leonardo DiCaprio would fucking ANYBODY.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 02:35:12 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerLeonardo DiCaprio should play the lead in the reamke of Rambo.

TGRR,
Is pretty sure Leonardo DiCaprio would fucking ANYBODY.

Even michael jackson's giraffe?

Had to say it.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 02:35:56 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerLeonardo DiCaprio should play the lead in the reamke of Rambo.

TGRR,
Is pretty sure Leonardo DiCaprio would fucking ANYBODY.

Even michael jackson's giraffe?

Had to say it.

Wrong kind of fucking.

Pervert.

TGRR,
Would love to see him do it, though. :lol:
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 02:51:54 AM
Who said anything about fucking anything?

I just want to know about the giraffe is all.

Sorry I can't even try.

-Irrev. Hugh; can't EVEN PRETEND to be innocent
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 02:54:20 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWho said anything about fucking anything?

I just want to know about the giraffe is all.

Sorry I can't even try.

-Irrev. Hugh; can't EVEN PRETEND to be innocent

Let's ask Chef.

Chef responds:  "DICAPRIO GETS THA GIRAFFE IN A HEADLOCK, AND TWISTS ITS LONG-ASS NECK.  THEN HE BUSTS ITS JAW, SPLITS ITS DOME, AND SENDS IT HOME WIFF A RUPTURE."

Well, I guess all we can say is

(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/discussionclosed.gif)
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 02:56:04 AM
Damn. We could have barbecued that giraffe.

Whats matter? Don't chef like animal flesh?
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 02:57:28 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCDamn. We could have barbecued that giraffe.

Whats matter? Don't chef like animal flesh?

Not after it's been ruptured.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 04, 2005, 02:58:51 AM
Ruptured meat?  I bet that's a Scottish dish.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Cain on March 04, 2005, 02:59:42 AM
Quote from: Wenchmaster KRuptured meat?  I bet that's a Scottish dish.

It is in the halls.  Baaaad food here....
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 03:00:39 AM
Ruptured Meat?

Sounds like a horrible accident involving a penis and an accordion.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 04, 2005, 03:01:41 AM
I know a guy who once snapped his boner and jizzed blood...
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Cain on March 04, 2005, 03:01:57 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCRuptured Meat?

Sounds like a horrible accident involving a penis and an accordion.

Tastes like it too....
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 03:02:27 AM
Quote from: Wenchmaster KI know a guy who once snapped his boner and jizzed blood...

Thanks.

TGRR,
Wanted to sleep tonight.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 03:02:43 AM
Quote from: Scribe
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCRuptured Meat?

Sounds like a horrible accident involving a penis and an accordion.

Tastes like it too....

EEWW!

Doesn't sound like something that will be featured at the Safeway mart.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 03:03:33 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCRuptured Meat?

Sounds like a horrible accident involving a penis and an accordion.

Google "the rupture" + "Church of the Subgenius"
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 04, 2005, 03:04:06 AM
No, really!  He was having sex in the shower, and all the lubricant washed off the condom, which created enough friction to jink his penis and tear his urethra.  At the very worst of moments.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 03:04:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCRuptured Meat?

Sounds like a horrible accident involving a penis and an accordion.

Google "the rupture" + "Church of the Subgenius"

But what if I want to sleep tonight?
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 03:05:55 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCRuptured Meat?

Sounds like a horrible accident involving a penis and an accordion.

Google "the rupture" + "Church of the Subgenius"

But what if I want to sleep tonight?

Tough.  Misery loves company.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Cain on March 04, 2005, 03:06:28 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: Scribe
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCRuptured Meat?

Sounds like a horrible accident involving a penis and an accordion.

Tastes like it too....

EEWW!

Doesn't sound like something that will be featured at the Safeway mart.

It features at some of the best torture centres/Universities in the country, I am reliably informed...
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 03:07:56 AM
Quote from: Wenchmaster KNo, really!  He was having sex in the shower, and all the lubricant washed off the condom, which created enough friction to jink his penis and tear his urethra.  At the very worst of moments.

For the love of "Bob", cut that out.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 04, 2005, 03:10:06 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerFor the love of "Bob", cut that out.

Okay.

Unless you want me to tell the "chocolate milk" story.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 03:14:57 AM
Quote from: Wenchmaster K
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerFor the love of "Bob", cut that out.

Okay.

Unless you want me to tell the "chocolate milk" story.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(http://home.earthlink.net/~andrea63/bushispazuzu.gif)
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 03:35:59 AM
Damn!

All chance of sleep lost!

-Irrev. Hugh; sleepless again
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: gnimbley on March 04, 2005, 04:46:17 AM
Did somebody say giraffe?

I was told there is a giraffe in the picture below.
I don't see it.

(http://img101.exs.cx/img101/6640/image0017uo.gif)
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 04, 2005, 04:53:05 AM
Quote from: gnimbleyDid somebody say giraffe?

I was told there is a giraffe in the picture below.
I don't see it.

(http://img101.exs.cx/img101/6640/image0017uo.gif)

Chef beat it to a pulp.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 04, 2005, 02:27:07 PM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: gnimbleyDid somebody say giraffe?

I was told there is a giraffe in the picture below.
I don't see it.

(http://img101.exs.cx/img101/6640/image0017uo.gif)

Chef beat it to a pulp.

In all fairness, it DID step.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on March 05, 2005, 12:11:24 AM
I thought DiCrappio fucked it  :shock:  :twisted:
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 05, 2005, 12:12:16 AM
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyI though DiCrappio fucked it  :shock:  :twisted:

He wanted to.

But apparently, he has no penis.  Is not anatomically correct.  Much like the Ken doll he tries so hard to be.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on March 05, 2005, 12:16:56 AM
I think he looks like a girl in drag, I'd rather have Clint Eastwood, even if he is an old fart now.  I'd actually rather have Hurley from lost, that guy could just about make me laugh til I had an orgasm, what would that be, a gigglasm :?
Title: DANGER
Post by: Malevolent Jelly on March 05, 2005, 03:39:56 AM
Gigglasm is too close to googl'ism, which sounds like Apple-user internet slang. You should take your Latte-sipping language out of this here town, we don't like you types around here.

QED

MY SCORE: 300
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on March 05, 2005, 11:59:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: gnimbleyDid somebody say giraffe?

I was told there is a giraffe in the picture below.
I don't see it.

(http://img101.exs.cx/img101/6640/image0017uo.gif)

Chef beat it to a pulp.

In all fairness, it DID step.

Why did it have to test? What's up with fricken animals these days?
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 05, 2005, 06:12:14 PM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: gnimbleyDid somebody say giraffe?

I was told there is a giraffe in the picture below.
I don't see it.

(http://img101.exs.cx/img101/6640/image0017uo.gif)

Chef beat it to a pulp.

In all fairness, it DID step.

Why did it have to test? What's up with fricken animals these days?

Tired of living, I guess.
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 05, 2005, 08:56:37 PM
:shock:  :shock:

The giraffe just appeared to me.

:shock:
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: gnimbley on March 05, 2005, 09:15:00 PM
Oh Great Seer of Giraffe, what wisdom was imparted to you in your
vision?
Title: ALL HAIL SOLDAR
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 05, 2005, 09:22:17 PM
I think it winked.

:shock: