Blarg!
And I thought it was bad having my mom's voice in my head :shock:
ps, hope you're ok :wink:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyAnd I thought it was bad having my mom's voice in my head :shock:
ps, hope you're ok :wink:
Just fine, thanks.
It's probably a good thing the only special foods I like are chocolate and coffee. The best store for that happens to be in one of the whitest areas around. I think most of those people would be too polite to say anything, even if I wigged out. Unless someone was injured, but I don't think I have ever done that. :twisted:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyIt's probably a good thing the only special foods I like are chocolate and coffee. The best store for that happens to be in one of the whitest areas around. I think most of those people would be too polite to say anything, even if I wigged out. Unless someone was injured, but I don't think I have ever done that. :twisted:
The Mexican community is, apparently, very open to bizarre behavior.
Odd things have happened this morning, once news got around.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyIt's probably a good thing the only special foods I like are chocolate and coffee. The best store for that happens to be in one of the whitest areas around. I think most of those people would be too polite to say anything, even if I wigged out. Unless someone was injured, but I don't think I have ever done that. :twisted:
The Mexican community is, apparently, very open to bizarre behavior.
Odd things have happened this morning, once news got around.
Details?
White snobs are too, if you can pass as one of them. I just look like every other soccer mom, trying to get caffeine and choclate. And they added meat and fresh produce. They also have beer and wine. I go there on my hubby's birthday to get him boobie beer, I mean St. Pauli Girl, hehehe :twisted:
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerWherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans.
- Alf Landon, just before FDR buried him alive in the polls.
"AMERICA = TEH STOOPIDEST OPIEZ ON THA PLANET."
- Chef, last night, in our head.
I found myself shopping in La Mexicana Chiquita Supermercado last night, trying to find fresh habanero peppers for that lousy Tongan. He had been keeping me up all night, bellowing about this year's America's Cup race, and about the future of American football. The only possible cure was to chow down on insanely hot peppers until he was beaten into submission, thus allowing me to get a couple of hours of precious sleep.
Nothing stands out in an almost empy supermarket like The Good Rev, especially when he's stuck halfway in Chef mode. Hideous...a bone-weary 220 pound gringo, shuffling down the aisles, mumbling things about "teef" and "baggies" and the Chicago Bears...all the while dragging a 20 pound authentic war club. In any civilized country, I'd be beaten by cops and thrown in jail, for my own good.
However, I am not in a civilized country, and the locals know me. For good or for ill, they are my people, and they are more than willing to put up with my eccentricities...as just about everyone in Aurora, IL is eccentric, or a gang-banger, or both.
Aurora is America in microcosm...at least the America that SHOULD exist. 75% hard-working weirdos, and 25% goons, thugs, and preachers. Almost everyone carries a gun, at least at 2 AM, but the level of violence is surprisingly low...and people are polite. They understand, you see, that it is bad policy to be rude to someone, when there is a very good chance that the person you are speaking to is armed to the teeth with pistols that have their serial numbers filed off.
Chef wasn't enjoying himself much. The ranchero music being piped into the store was too loud, he said, and accordians always set him off. No time for niceties, now...what if he goes berserk, and starts smashing speakers? It's not out of the realm of possibility...So, grab a jar of peppers, and dump it down your throat.
Instant sweat. The inability to breathe. Spots in front of your eyes, and some freakish little clerk staring at you like you're insane. Fuck him, he doesn't understand, does he? "Listen, snapperhead...I AM going to pay for this, but there simply isn't time." But it doesn't come out that way, does it? Not with an esophagus full of screaming hot habaneros...it sounds more like "UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!"
I could see the horror in his eyes...he began to back away, toward the front of the store. Toward the phone. The situation is hopeless...I will NOT be able to explain myself to a cop, at least not while I'm in this condition. There's only one thing to do...
...Run through the door into the meat department, heading for the back door, where they put the garbage out. Slip on a freshly-mopped floor, and go skidding along the stainless steel table where they are cutting the meat for tomorrow...half a dozen Mexicans scramble to get out of the way...covered in blood now, bovine, I hope...there were some sharp fucking knives on that table...Out the back door, and running down the street...a hideous, blood covered maniac toting a war club...people in cars, staring at me as I run through the night...
...Back to mi casa, lock the door. Don't answer the door, don't answer the phone. There are animals out there, you know...it just isn't SAFE.
Or kill me.
I am actually printing this to read on the train. I'll comment later.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
...and people are polite. They understand, you see, that it is bad policy to be rude to someone, when there is a very good chance that the person you are speaking to is armed to the teeth with pistols that have their serial numbers filed off.
ChefRog goes looking for spicy food and learns the secret of bushido.
gambatte kudasai!
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiQuote from: The Good Reverend Roger
...and people are polite. They understand, you see, that it is bad policy to be rude to someone, when there is a very good chance that the person you are speaking to is armed to the teeth with pistols that have their serial numbers filed off.
ChefRog goes looking for spicy food and learns the secret of bushido.
gambatte kudasai!
Weird days, no?
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyIt's probably a good thing the only special foods I like are chocolate and coffee. The best store for that happens to be in one of the whitest areas around. I think most of those people would be too polite to say anything, even if I wigged out. Unless someone was injured, but I don't think I have ever done that. :twisted:
The Mexican community is, apparently, very open to bizarre behavior.
Odd things have happened this morning, once news got around.
Details?
Found a stuffed snake on my porch this morning. It was all covered in fake feathers, which had been attached with scotch tape.
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiQuote from: The Good Reverend Roger
...and people are polite. They understand, you see, that it is bad policy to be rude to someone, when there is a very good chance that the person you are speaking to is armed to the teeth with pistols that have their serial numbers filed off.
ChefRog goes looking for spicy food and learns the secret of bushido.
gambatte kudasai!
ummm... Could I get a translation in English or at least some other language I have a snowball's chance in hell of understanding :shock:
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiQuote from: The Good Reverend Roger
...and people are polite. They understand, you see, that it is bad policy to be rude to someone, when there is a very good chance that the person you are speaking to is armed to the teeth with pistols that have their serial numbers filed off.
ChefRog goes looking for spicy food and learns the secret of bushido.
gambatte kudasai!
Weird days, no?
extremely weird. ancient japanese warrior culture i can help with....stuffed snakes? sorry...not so good....unless you want to hit it with a sword, in which case i might be helpful. though i do like springy snakes, but that's another thread entirely....ok, i'll shut up...<goes back to bar to wipe glasses>
Er...what's the name of the feathered serpent god?
Just claim you've been visited by him.
A snake with chicken feathers? They insult Amerika!
?,
Don't Tread on Me.
Right, Quetzalcoatl.
(http://www.forum-auto.com/voitures/quetzacoatl_1709200357_image14.gif)
Quote from: Wenchmaster KRight, Quetzalcoatl.
How the hell do you pronounce that?
sorry eld - gambatte kudasai. very common japanese expression that sort of means 'please keep going'. they like to encourage people who are having bad or weird days.
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviisorry eld - gambatte kudasai. very common japanese expression that sort of means 'please keep going'. they like to encourage people who are having bad or weird days.
Meh.
TGRR,
Needs no encouragment, these days.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Wenchmaster KRight, Quetzalcoatl.
How the hell do you pronounce that?
Ket-zell-co-attle. Except really fast and kind of blurring the stuff in the middle.
Quote from: Wenchmaster KQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Wenchmaster KRight, Quetzalcoatl.
How the hell do you pronounce that?
Ket-zell-co-attle. Except really fast and kind of blurring the stuff in the middle.
Okay. Now what does this have to do with a stuffed snake and faux feathers on my doorstep?
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Wenchmaster KQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Wenchmaster KRight, Quetzalcoatl.
How the hell do you pronounce that?
Ket-zell-co-attle. Except really fast and kind of blurring the stuff in the middle.
Okay. Now what does this have to do with a stuffed snake and faux feathers on my doorstep?
I think the natives are trying to turn you into a god.
Either that or they want revenge for that Cortez thing.
Quote from: gnimbleyQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Wenchmaster KQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Wenchmaster KRight, Quetzalcoatl.
How the hell do you pronounce that?
Ket-zell-co-attle. Except really fast and kind of blurring the stuff in the middle.
Okay. Now what does this have to do with a stuffed snake and faux feathers on my doorstep?
I think the natives are trying to turn you into a god.
Either that or they want revenge for that Cortez thing.
Either way, I'm fucked. :shock:
From: Heaven's Mirror by Graham Hancock (not the best source I know..)
"The Aztecs reported that the source of this doctrine of non-violence and cosmic gnosis was a god-king known as Quetzacoatl - 'the plumed serpent' (quetzacoatl means, literally, 'feathered' or 'plumed', coatl means 'serpent'). He had ruled, they said, in a remote golden age, having come to Mexico from a far-off land with a group of companions. He had taught, quite specifically, that living things were not to be harmed and that human beings were never to be sacrificed, but only 'fruits and flowers of the season'. His cult was absorbed with the mysteries of life beyond death and he was said to have made a journey to the underworld and to have returned to tell the tale."
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiFrom: Heaven's Mirror by Graham Hancock (not the best source I know..)
"The Aztecs reported that the source of this doctrine of non-violence and cosmic gnosis was a god-king known as Quetzacoatl - 'the plumed serpent' (quetzacoatl means, literally, 'feathered' or 'plumed', coatl means 'serpent'). He had ruled, they said, in a remote golden age, having come to Mexico from a far-off land with a group of companions. He had taught, quite specifically, that living things were not to be harmed and that human beings were never to be sacrificed, but only 'fruits and flowers of the season'. His cult was absorbed with the mysteries of life beyond death and he was said to have made a journey to the underworld and to have returned to tell the tale."
Let's see what a reputable source has to say...
(Googling, will be right back)
http://weber.ucsd.edu/~anthclub/quetzalcoatl/que.htm
I'm NOT going to fill THAT fucking role.
I saw what they did to him. Worse than what they did to Jebus.
Yeah, but he also established ceremonial drunkenness and sired royal lineages....sounds like some nice perks to me.
Quote from: Wenchmaster KYeah, but he also established ceremonial drunkenness and sired royal lineages....sounds like some nice perks to me.
And he hauled ass when the going got weird...hmmm...
Or it could just be that some local Mexican american wanted to mindfuck you and he ended up succeding.
^__________________________________________________________________________^
~Yurito Sakari~
The Wannabe Buddhist Monk
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeOr it could just be that some local Mexican american wanted to mindfuck you and he ended up succeding.
^__________________________________________________________________________^
~Yurito Sakari~
The Wannabe Buddhist Monk
Jebus, I hope so. But why like THIS?
Because they can. Quetzalcoatl is often shown as a feathered serpent. So some guy maybe got drunk with his friends, and decided to pull a prank. So they took a stuffed snake, taped some feathers to it, and put it on your doorstep.
Or they could be sending you a message, that you are angering their god. :shock:
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Or they could be sending you a message, that you are angering their god. :shock:
Jebus. Strange Mexican voodoo symbols on my porch.
Just how fucking weird can things get?
Mindfuck 'em back: Find out who did it, and put a golden apple with "Kallisti" on their porch.
See if they do it again. :lol:
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Or they could be sending you a message, that you are angering their god. :shock:
Jebus. Strange Mexican voodoo symbols on my porch.
Just how fucking weird can things get?
Man that would so fucking rock. I'd give anything for the greyfaces around here to be like that!
Quote from: ScribeQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Or they could be sending you a message, that you are angering their god. :shock:
Jebus. Strange Mexican voodoo symbols on my porch.
Just how fucking weird can things get?
Man that would so fucking rock. I'd give anything for the greyfaces around here to be like that!
Yeah, it's kinda cool...until they rip me apart in some weird santiera rite, of course.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Wenchmaster KRight, Quetzalcoatl.
How the hell do you pronounce that?
ke-tsal-KO-atl
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: ScribeQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Or they could be sending you a message, that you are angering their god. :shock:
Jebus. Strange Mexican voodoo symbols on my porch.
Just how fucking weird can things get?
Man that would so fucking rock. I'd give anything for the greyfaces around here to be like that!
Yeah, it's kinda cool...until they rip me apart in some weird santiera rite, of course.
Nah! Man, Santeria is a little bit more weird than all that, and less frou frou feather shit to boot.
Trust me on that one.
-Irrev. Hugh; Knows How to Party with the Santeros
Rog, maybe they think you're possessed and the snake was really a warning to the evil spirit inside you. Don't tell Chef, though, OK? :shock: He might get mad. :? and that is probably the last thing we need. :twisted:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyRog, maybe they think you're possessed and the snake was really a warning to the evil spirit inside you. Don't tell Chef, though, OK? :shock: He might get mad. :? and that is probably the last thing we need. :twisted:
You mean an evil spirit other than Chef?
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyRog, maybe they think you're possessed and the snake was really a warning to the evil spirit inside you. Don't tell Chef, though, OK? :shock: He might get mad. :? and that is probably the last thing we need. :twisted:
No, it's getting way weirder than that.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyRog, maybe they think you're possessed and the snake was really a warning to the evil spirit inside you. Don't tell Chef, though, OK? :shock: He might get mad. :? and that is probably the last thing we need. :twisted:
No, it's getting way weirder than that.
They may think you are channeling Tezcatlipoca.
He was Quetzalcoatl's brother - sort of - and yet the god of another
people whom the Aztecs conquered and then assimulated their
gods. Tezcatlipoca was jealous of all the attention Quetzalcoatl was
getting, so he threw Quetzalcoatl into the Atlantic, thereby killing
him (if you can kill a god.) But this only made the Aztecs more fervent
in their worship of Quetzalcoatl, so Tezcatlipoca told the Aztecs that
Cortez was Quetzalcoatl come back to fulfill the ancient prophecies,
and that is why the Aztecs let the Spanish in to slaughter them.
The Aztecs are not happy with Tezcatlipoca.
(For more, read my play. Tezcatlipoca is the judge.)
I still think it was a terrorist threat. Chicken feathers upon a "don't tread on me" snake? I mean, cummon!
Quote from: ?I still think it was a terrorist threat. Chicken feathers upon a "don't tread on me" snake? I mean, cummon!
Bizarre shit...today, I found a small wicker basket of corn on my porch.
As I walked though town, half of the people made weird Catholic gestures and fled my approach...others looked at me like they knew me.
Chef is louder now, and demands his due. The habaneros aren't helping.
Strange days. That miserable Tongan
won't shut up. He just keeps
laughing, telling me how stupid people are...and how they really aren't my people, anyway. I asked him who WERE my people, and he told me to go down to the mission.
He says we have business there, among the drunks and the crank addicts and the rest of life's jetsam. I told him I didn't want to see these people, and he said, "STFU, OPIE! I'LL
MAKE YOU LOOK!"
I don't think I want to look. I'm not sure he'll give me a choice.
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: ?I still think it was a terrorist threat. Chicken feathers upon a "don't tread on me" snake? I mean, cummon!
Bizarre shit...today, I found a small wicker basket of corn on my porch.
As I walked though town, half of the people made weird Catholic gestures and fled my approach...others looked at me like they knew me.
Chef is louder now, and demands his due. The habaneros aren't helping.
Strange days. That miserable Tongan won't shut up. He just keeps laughing, telling me how stupid people are...and how they really aren't my people, anyway. I asked him who WERE my people, and he told me to go down to the mission.
He says we have business there, among the drunks and the crank addicts and the rest of life's jetsam. I told him I didn't want to see these people, and he said, "STFU, OPIE! I'LL MAKE YOU LOOK!"
I don't think I want to look. I'm not sure he'll give me a choice.
Corn sounds more like an offering. Maybe someone thinks you're so crazy you must be a shaman. Or something.
I'm telling you, the Catholics think you're posessed.
I have no idea why CHEF wants you to go to the mission, have fun? Does he want to torture you, the 'jetsam', or does he have something more sinister in mind. I've tried helping those kinds of people, good luck to you and them.
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyQuote from: The Good Reverend RogerQuote from: ?I still think it was a terrorist threat. Chicken feathers upon a "don't tread on me" snake? I mean, cummon!
Bizarre shit...today, I found a small wicker basket of corn on my porch.
As I walked though town, half of the people made weird Catholic gestures and fled my approach...others looked at me like they knew me.
Chef is louder now, and demands his due. The habaneros aren't helping.
Strange days. That miserable Tongan won't shut up. He just keeps laughing, telling me how stupid people are...and how they really aren't my people, anyway. I asked him who WERE my people, and he told me to go down to the mission.
He says we have business there, among the drunks and the crank addicts and the rest of life's jetsam. I told him I didn't want to see these people, and he said, "STFU, OPIE! I'LL MAKE YOU LOOK!"
I don't think I want to look. I'm not sure he'll give me a choice.
Corn sounds more like an offering. Maybe someone thinks you're so crazy you must be a shaman. Or something.
I'm telling you, the Catholics think you're posessed.
I have no idea why CHEF wants you to go to the mission, have fun? Does he want to torture you, the 'jetsam', or does he have something more sinister in mind. I've tried helping those kinds of people, good luck to you and them.
I have no idea what he has in mind...All I know is that he really gets off on this whole thing. Weird offerings on the porch, etc.
And the Catholics have NEVER liked me, though I hve no idea why.
Sounds like you a ripe for getting yourself a congregation.