in development here. but ok as follows:
the episkopos: we have been brought together today not just to get drunk and have a good time, but to witness the death of this happy couple by matrimony.
marriage is the sort of thing that one does not enter into lightly. verily, it's the sort of thing one is dragged into kicking and screaming and trying to hold onto door frames and the like.
(to the bride): do you wish to marry this poor sunnuvabitch, to cook him dinner from time to time sleep withhim at least once a week, to tell him who really wears the pants in this family and spends the money?
(bride):yes
(the epeiskopos): ouch.
(to the groom): do you wish to marry this poor woman, to slave away at your job then come home to do chores, to give her foot messages, and call things cute, to never come home drunk or late and stuff?
(groom): sure
(episkopos):shittybuzz for you n00b!
marriage is a plague, a blight upon society. in yoru time to gether, you will argue, you will do it, you will put up with each other's bullshit, and you will bitch and nag at eachother. you may have children, which will jsut make thign even more exciting. msot of all you will forever be d00med to n00blarosity, wether by juxtaposition proposition, or by your adolescent offfspring. worse you'll have to change diapers, and not have sex with other people anymore. truly marriage is teh sux0r.
by th epower invwested in my by She who's Five Fingered Hand Moves What Is, and the (province/state) of (province/state name) i pronounce you husband and wife until the raputre and even after that unto the 200and fiftieth millionith generation of cockroach thereafter. may eris have mercy on your souls. sim sim sala bim bam b00m abracadbra!~ gimem a beer
(bride hands the episkopos a beer)
gimme a smoke
(groom hands episkopos a smoke then lights it)
let's get drunk.
(the activity degnerates.)
Quoteyou may have children, which will jsut make thign even more exciting
Change exciting to chaotic, add some incense and candles and that sounds about right. :twisted:
that part shopuld eb said sarcastically, because in a way it is.
Quote from: horabin development here. but ok as follows:
the episkopos: we have been brought together today not just to get drunk and have a good time, but to witness the death of this happy couple by matrimony.
marriage is the sort of thing that one does not enter into lightly. verily, it's the sort of thing one is dragged into kicking and screaming and trying to hold onto door frames and the like.
(to the bride): do you wish to marry this poor sunnuvabitch, to cook him dinner from time to time sleep withhim at least once a week, to tell him who really wears the pants in this family and spends the money?
(bride):yes
(the epeiskopos): ouch.
(to the groom): do you wish to marry this poor woman, to slave away at your job then come home to do chores, to give her foot messages, and call things cute, to never come home drunk or late and stuff?
(groom): sure
(episkopos):shittybuzz for you n00b!
marriage is a cure, a blight upon society. in yoru time to gether, you will argue, you will do it, you will put up with each other's bullshit, and you will bitch and nag at eachother. you may have children, which will jsut make thign even more exciting. msot of all you will forever be d00med to n00blarosity, wether by juxtaposition proposition, or by your adolescent offfspring. worse you'll have to change diapers, and not have sex with other people anymore. truly marriage is teh sux0r.
by th epower invwested in my by She who's Five Fingered Hand Moves What Is, and the (province/state) of (province/state name) i pronounce you husband and wife until the raputre and even after that unto the 200and fiftieth millionith generation of cockroach thereafter. may eris have mercy on your souls. sim sim sala bim bam b00m abracadbra!~ gimem a beer
(bride hands the episkopos a beer)
gimme a smoke
(groom hands episkopos a smoke then lights it)
let's get drunk.
(the activity degnerates.)
<OB bows to horab offering a myriad beer vouchers>
Quote from: horabin development here. but ok as follows:
the episkopos: we have been brought together today not just to get drunk and have a good time, but to witness the death of this happy couple by matrimony.
marriage is the sort of thing that one does not enter into lightly. verily, it's the sort of thing one is dragged into kicking and screaming and trying to hold onto door frames and the like.
So, marriage is bad because YOU say it is?
Quote from: LurkerQuote from: horabin development here. but ok as follows:
the episkopos: we have been brought together today not just to get drunk and have a good time, but to witness the death of this happy couple by matrimony.
marriage is the sort of thing that one does not enter into lightly. verily, it's the sort of thing one is dragged into kicking and screaming and trying to hold onto door frames and the like.
So, marriage is bad because YOU say it is?
lol. it' spsosed to be humourous.
Quote from: horabthat part shopuld eb said sarcastically, because in a way it is.
No, kids make things more exciting, read the kids say weird things thread over there---->
But, since this was supposed to be Discordian or Erisian or whatever, I just thought Chaos sounded better. :D
I think it's perfect just the way it is.
RAH!
8)
Groom: I do?
Bride: I do?
Priest: Do it!
What about the public nudity?
Quote from: SepiaWhat about the public nudity?
Quote(the activity degnerates.)
aye, but degenerating activity can mean about anything.
i want it mandatory!
that and the fact that all the habaneros have been spiked with that active ingredient which is found in hashish and marijuana which is three letters and the first is t and i don't remember the last two.
Quote from: Sepia... that active ingredient which is found in hashish and marijuana which is three letters and the first is t and i don't remember the last two....
Probably because you're stoned...
Quote from: LMNOQuote from: Sepia... that active ingredient which is found in hashish and marijuana which is three letters and the first is t and i don't remember the last two....
Probably because you're stoned...
that made me giggle actually. and i'm not even high. time to lessen the medication i guess.
Back to the subject, I still think there should be an extended crowd call-and-response, either Country Joe's "FUCK" cheer, or a lengthy, "what do we want?"
"TEQUILA!"
"When do we want it?"
"OFTEN!"
Quote from: Sepiathat active ingredient which is found in hashish and marijuana which is three letters and the first is t and i don't remember the last two.
THC = tetrahydracannabinol.
The wonders of a public school education. Though I did learn this from the teacher who, when the sex ed module rolled around, offered an automatic A to any student who would stand up naked at the front of the class so she could use them as a live diagram.
i learned thc from th edrug cop in 6thgrade. lol.
Quote from: horabi learned thc from th edrug cop in 6thgrade. lol.
damn that 6th grade drug cop...he got me hooked too :(
This is the best marriage ceremony I've ever heard.
Copyright it!!!
Marriage sucks!
OOPS!
That last post was me.
The marriage rings should be chained together with spikes on the insides.
Quote from: horabin development here.
Cool, very cool. Consider some of it yoinked and your horabness credited. :) :) :)
::is weeks away from her third anniversary::
:?
Quote from: agent compassion::is weeks away from her third anniversary::
:?
In a perfect world, anniversaries would be a time for renewing the vows, with much intoxication and public nudity (for Sepia) and all-over debauchery.
People would stay together just for the anniversaries, in a perfect world.
Well, we were just gonna go out to dinner, but debauchery sounds like WAY more fun. I hope it's not a school night! 8)
in a perfect world, marriage would be a contract structured much the same as a professional athlete's...there would be performance bonuses, trades, a free agent market, and a draft...
8)
:shock: Trades????
Nah, I think I like it the way it is....I'd rather keep him all to myself, I'm kinda selfish like that.
8)
Quote from: agent compassion:shock: Trades????
Nah, I think I like it the way it is....I'd rather keep him all to myself, I'm kinda selfish like that.
8)
Yeah, I agree, but I wouldn't mind a performance bonus :wink:
:mrgreen:
if i get married my wife will kill me
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Next time I get married I'm staying out of it.
next time i get married i just hope there's not a shotgun involved
Quote from: doubtless incidentnext time i get married i just hope there's not a shotgun involved
Next time I get married.................oh wait
I'm never getting married again
:D
then it won't be you i marry next time will it?
nope
:?
well shit.
:lol:
MARRY THYSELVES AND SHUT UP ALREADY!
i want to marry myself but it's illegal in canada.
Quote from: horabi want to marry myself but it's illegal in canada.
Go to Holland. I hear you can do it there.
i will be so happy when i hear about this!
/tears of joy :cry: :)
Quote from: anti-horab/tears of joy :cry: :)
Hey horab, you're starting to split up into polarities.
i'll never split with myself!
Quote from: horabi'll never split with myself!
if i get divorced i get everything, you hear me everything!!!!
as long as i get to keep the lawn furniture.
Quote from: horabi'll never split with myself!
MARRY THYSELF!
you can keep your bloody lawn furniture, and your damn collection of porceleine dogs.
porceleine dogs? wtf are you on d00d?
wtf are you on holmes? and why aren't ou passing it this way son?
Quote from: anti-horabwtf are you on holmes? and why aren't ou passing it this way son?
Shut up and smoke it.
that's it, i've had it with you! out !!! out with you!!!
/me punches anti-horab in teh face
:cry:
i hate you!!!!!
I HATE YOU MORE!!!!!
I HOEP YOU DIE!!!
i'm sorry, you know i love you baby.
i love you too, let's have sex now.
okie :D
:D
OPIES!
cracka please!
you should be ashmaed of yourself.
you're right.
no wait i disagree.
you have no right to judge me.
Quote from: horabyou should be ashmaed of yourself.
you should be ishmaeled of yourself too.
i'm alway sashmaeled of myself. deer good lady, i need sleep.
sleep is for the dead n00b! your spelling is attrocious!
you know i'm dead. why do you always say that whenever i go to take a nap. damn you! let teh ginko bilobists wear glasses!
edit:lol
Quote from: horabyou know i'm dead. why do you always say that whenever i go to take a nap. damn you! let teh ginko bilobists wear glasses!
edit:lol
Let those asses be set to grind corn between their cheeks.
Horab: putting the "me" in "monogamy" since 2005.
Quote from: DJRubberduckyThe wonders of a public school education. Though I did learn this from the teacher who, when the sex ed module rolled around, offered an automatic A to any student who would stand up naked at the front of the class so she could use them as a live diagram.
And I thought my health teacher was crazy. Made up words all the time. Like pubercizing, if I remember right.
pubercizing is apefectly kromulent word.
Ah, the horab's. Such a nice young couple. Wonder if they enjoyed their toaster oven?
Pubercizing is just wrong.
i got Pubercized once. i blame either my parents or eris.
I saw an infomercial once where Suzanne Summers was selling Pubercizers.
8)
you mean peopel want to go through that twice? :shock:
Quote from: run the place redyou mean peopel want to go through that twice? :shock:
They'll go through it as many times as you can sell it to them.