CHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL
Hell is only reserved for people who believe in it; especially people who believe in it on the basis that they'll go there if they don't.
Quote from: Jack ChickCHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL
Yeah, lovely god who punishes you for eternity for simply disagreeing with him. Wonderful forgiving loving god there.
Fuck off and YOU burn in hell.
Jack, Wasn't it JC who preached forgiveness?
I think you mean it's Big Poppa, YHWH, who wants us in his hell.
For he is a Jealous God, especially of your CD collection. Where'd you get that signed copy of "Islands in the Stream," anyway?
well allright thanks jesus! 8)
WWJD?
Quote from: scorchWWJD?
Get nailed to a tree again.
You think the people in power today are any more forgiving or open minded than those who did it the first time 2k years ago?
Quote from: EsbenHell is only reserved for people who believe in it; especially people who believe in it on the basis that they'll go there if they don't.
I don't remember the verse in the King James Bible that says that.
Quote from: DavenQuote from: Jack ChickCHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL
Yeah, lovely god who punishes you for eternity for simply disagreeing with him. Wonderful forgiving loving god there.
God is not loving. He's a jerk. And we all really hate him, but he's the one with his finger on the damnation button, so you better wise up, boy.
Quote from: LMNOJack, Wasn't it JC who preached forgiveness?
To be honest, Jesus only got into heaven because of nepotism, and you know, because he's part of the trinity. If he wasn't the son of God, he'd be burning in hell with all of the other peacenik hippies.
Quote from: LMNOFor he is a Jealous God, especially of your CD collection. Where'd you get that signed copy of "Islands in the Stream," anyway?
You must be thinking of someone else. I burnt my entire record collection after my conversion, as music, like D&D, Nintendo games, and all other major forms of artistic expression, is witchcraft, and as we speak Beethoven's getting it in the ass from the devil.
Jack Chick, you read the KJV? You know you're gonna goto hell for reading the translation.
Of course I read the translation, what do I look like, a Jew?
The KJV was dictated by God himself to the translators. This was back when England was holy and stuck it to the Intergalactic Catholic Conspiracy and didn't have the sinful Anglican church to give their archbishops tutus and to tell them to make God cry with other men.
If God had wanted me to speak Aramaic he would have made me be born as a moon-worshipping raghead.
Ok, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.
well promising me a place in hell was pretty kind.
Quote from: ChickletCHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL
I know! Shall I save you a seat?
8) 8)
Hey, didn't Pat Benetar say that "hell is for children"?
Yeahm, i think she did. Look:
Quote from: Pat BenetarHell is for Children.
So, I'm safe, at least.
Now, where were we? Skinning babies alive?
Yes, but only Muslim babies. And eating them afterward. According to the Crusades, that's okay, as long as we baptize them to save their souls first.
Quote from: LMNOOk, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.
Yeah, I gotta admit that this version is kinda stupid. The Real Jack Chick would be telling us of God's love, and how he loves us so much that he'll punish us for eternity for not loving him back. THAT is the kind of Jack Chick that I expect to see.
Sorry "Jack" I just don't buy it any more. YOu loose.
Quote from: LMNOOk, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.
Yeah, I'm really bad at this.
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_FonzarellQuote from: LMNOOk, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.
Yeah, I'm really bad at this.
Sorry. You tried. Too bad you sucked at it. ;-)
Let me give it a shot...
Brothers and sisters!
You know the Lord God Loves you. You know that Jesus loves you! By God, it says so right in the good book! The book that in 2000 years, hasn't changed a bit. And do you know how much the Lord God loves you? Enough to Forgive you, that's how much!
I'll tell you how much our Lord, Jesus Christ, amen, loves you. He loves you enough NOT to send you to the fiery pits of HELL to BURN for Eternity. He loves you enough to spare your SOULS from TORMENT.
Your Goddess is a False Goddess! She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH! She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.
Do not deny the Gift that has been Given! All of you are dammed, all of you are forsaken, all of you are in confusion, precisely because you are without the Hand of God at your side, guiding you, leading you to the victory over Satan, who uses the name Eris? Do not deny the blessings of God! Let Jesus Christ love you, as you should love Jesus Christ.
Do not be fooled by the myth of Chaos! For it was said, that The LORD did separate the Land from the Sky, and the Water from the Land. The LORD can separate Order from Chaos, and if you truly believe in the Lord, he shall relieve your chaotic suffering, and give you ETERNAL ORDER.
Praise be to God!
Quote from: Jack ChickCHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL
Shut up, you filthy Tibetan heretic!
Taking our Lord's name in vain will only get you crucified!
And taking hell's name in vain is a mortal sin, you donkey raping idiot!
God hates you.
Quote from: Jack Chick AuditionLet me give it a shot...
Brothers and sisters!
You know the Lord God Loves you. You know that Jesus loves you! By God, it says so right in the good book! The book that in 2000 years, hasn't changed a bit. And do you know how much the Lord God loves you? Enough to Forgive you, that's how much!
I'll tell you how much our Lord, Jesus Christ, amen, loves you. He loves you enough NOT to send you to the fiery pits of HELL to BURN for Eternity. He loves you enough to spare your SOULS from TORMENT.
Your Goddess is a False Goddess! She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH! She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.
Do not deny the Gift that has been Given! All of you are dammed, all of you are forsaken, all of you are in confusion, precisely because you are without the Hand of God at your side, guiding you, leading you to the victory over Satan, who uses the name Eris? Do not deny the blessings of God! Let Jesus Christ love you, as you should love Jesus Christ.
Do not be fooled by the myth of Chaos! For it was said, that The LORD did separate the Land from the Sky, and the Water from the Land. The LORD can separate Order from Chaos, and if you truly believe in the Lord, he shall relieve your chaotic suffering, and give you ETERNAL ORDER.
Praise be to God!
Better, but still not very funny...
QuoteYour Goddess is a False Goddess! She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH! She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.
I think it would have been better if you hadn't used YHWH, instead you should have used a more english christian name, like King of the Earth and the Heavens. Or something.
~BMW
BLASPHEMER!
You are the not the sacred and holy Chick! YOU ARE AN IMPOSTER!
May your loins be grid with the thorns of a thousand rose bushes!
May your temples be pierced by the screaming of a thousand out of tune iPods!
May your lips be sealed by a swack of Kathy Bates' sledge!
You all should be ashamed of yourselves!
HERETICS!
Quote from: Jack Chick AuditionLet me give it a shot...
Brothers and sisters!
You know the Lord God Loves you. You know that Jesus loves you! By God, it says so right in the good book! The book that in 2000 years, hasn't changed a bit. And do you know how much the Lord God loves you? Enough to Forgive you, that's how much!
I'll tell you how much our Lord, Jesus Christ, amen, loves you. He loves you enough NOT to send you to the fiery pits of HELL to BURN for Eternity. He loves you enough to spare your SOULS from TORMENT.
Your Goddess is a False Goddess! She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH! She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.
Do not deny the Gift that has been Given! All of you are dammed, all of you are forsaken, all of you are in confusion, precisely because you are without the Hand of God at your side, guiding you, leading you to the victory over Satan, who uses the name Eris? Do not deny the blessings of God! Let Jesus Christ love you, as you should love Jesus Christ.
Do not be fooled by the myth of Chaos! For it was said, that The LORD did separate the Land from the Sky, and the Water from the Land. The LORD can separate Order from Chaos, and if you truly believe in the Lord, he shall relieve your chaotic suffering, and give you ETERNAL ORDER.
Praise be to God!
Needs more mranting about the Catholic conspiracy.
Good thing about xtians, they've got faith in God. Makes them think they're protected while they're in my sniper scope. <nods>