I don't think this "Rev. Roger" ever went to seminary.
Quote from: Jack ChickI don't think this "Rev. Roger" ever went to seminary.
If it makes you feel better, I actually am an ordained minister.
By what, the Unitarian church or the U.C.C.? Or are you one of those Pagan Anabaptists who has sex with his mule and worships a giant golden pitchfork and things he's going to be saved by having a shaggy hippy beard?
Quote from: Jack ChickBy what, the Unitarian church or the U.C.C.? Or are you one of those Pagan Anabaptists who has sex with his mule and worships a giant golden pitchfork and things he's going to be saved by having a shaggy hippy beard?
actually yes he is, how did you know?
I'm an ordained minister, both with the Mormons and the ULC.
Quote from: DavenI'm an ordained minister, both with the Mormons and the ULC.
Are you serious? And what does ULC stand for?
Yes, completely serious.
ULC = Universal Life Church. A christian church that, frankly, doesn't care what you believe.
Quote from: DavenYes, completely serious.
ULC = Universal Life Church. A christian church that, frankly, doesn't care what you believe.
Now THAT's my kind of church, whatever god they pray to :D
ULC?
this is a slightly flashier version of printing off the pdf pope card from this site.
(no offense intended to your good reverend ministerial selves of course.....)
Im ordained through them too
That's where I got my original ordination, too...
Being ordained by an instution? How insuffurably bourgeois.
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_FonzarellBeing ordained by an instution? How insuffurably bourgeois.
It's not that bad. There are some fringe benefits. Particularly if its a fringe group.
So you can all do weddings and shizzle?
Quote from: FinnyhahaSo you can all do weddings and shizzle?
Yep. All legal in every state, and they fought many battles to make sure. All the individual has to do is register with the state and make sure that they are obeying the law in the local area.
Marry, bury, baptise and preach. Do it all. Plus, I can incorporate as a church, and get tax exemption and take up collections. Have to report it all to the mother church (in Modesto CA), but that's not a big deal.
Hell, I can even pronounce you all Reverends too.
Their basic philosophy is that there are only three things that everyone needs: Freedom, Food and Sex. All else is window dressing. They also believe that since you feel a call to the Ministry, that you are already ordained by God. This is JUST the legal recognition so you can perform holy ordinences in the eyes of Ceasar.
Personally, while I take it seriously, there are many who think the ordination is about as valid and "special" as finding a prize in the Cracker Jack Box, or getting a pink colored piece of gum in Double Bubble wrapper. Or as special as an Earl Scheib paint job.
Quote from: DavenQuote from: FinnyhahaSo you can all do weddings and shizzle?
Yep. All legal in every state, and they fought many battles to make sure. All the individual has to do is register with the state and make sure that they are obeying the law in the local area.
Marry, bury, baptise and preach. Do it all. Plus, I can incorporate as a church, and get tax exemption and take up collections. Have to report it all to the mother church (in Modesto CA), but that's not a big deal.
Hell, I can even pronounce you all Reverends too.
Their basic philosophy is that there are only three things that everyone needs: Freedom, Food and Sex. All else is window dressing. They also believe that since you feel a call to the Ministry, that you are already ordained by God. This is JUST the legal recognition so you can perform holy ordinences in the eyes of Ceasar.
Personally, while I take it seriously, there are many who think the ordination is about as valid and "special" as finding a prize in the Cracker Jack Box, or getting a pink colored piece of gum in Double Bubble wrapper. Or as special as an Earl Scheib paint job.
I take my ordination very seriously. The only reason I can't officiate at the many functions you have listed is because I can never get down to the Clerk of Courts when there's someone there who will let me file my registration with the state. Either they're out to lunch or busy at the moment or gone for the day or sick.
I bet they have a picture of me behind the desk that says, "Extremely unstable. Call security."
'Course, last time I went to the courthouse they searched me after I kept setting the metal detector off.
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
I take my ordination very seriously. The only reason I can't officiate at the many functions you have listed is because I can never get down to the Clerk of Courts when there's someone there who will let me file my registration with the state. Either they're out to lunch or busy at the moment or gone for the day or sick.
I bet they have a picture of me behind the desk that says, "Extremely unstable. Call security."
'Course, last time I went to the courthouse they searched me after I kept setting the metal detector off.
The only reason I haven't done that is because there has been no reason for me to. I got the ordination to protect me legally when I was working for < sit down and put your drinks down > Kibrina's Psychic Answer. Yeah, I did the telephone psychic stuff.
Legally, if you are an ordained minister, you can't be sued for giving bad advice. They can sue psychics, so this was a dodge to cover our asses.
But it's all good now.
Well, I can do weddings, baptisms, ordinations, and burials that are officially recognized by the Discordian society throughout the multiverse and for all eternity, and I officially married, baptised, ordained, and declared dead every life form in the multiverse a long time ago.[/Verthaine]
Quote from: Daven
<snip whiney nothing is my fault crap>
The only reason I haven't done that is because there has been no reason for me to. I got the ordination to protect me legally when I was working for < sit down and put your drinks down > Kibrina's Psychic Answer. Yeah, I did the telephone psychic stuff.
Legally, if you are an ordained minister, you can't be sued for giving bad advice. They can sue psychics, so this was a dodge to cover our asses.
But it's all good now.
Are you sure about that? That is one hell of a giant loophole. And it would be worth it for that alone. Because I am always giving people advice, if I could preface everything I say with, you can't sue me, I'm a minister, that would rock.
edit: PS love the new avatar, my family is the Adams' family :twisted:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Are you sure about that? That is one hell of a giant loophole. And it would be worth it for that alone. Because I am always giving people advice, if I could preface everything I say with, you can't sue me, I'm a minister, that would rock.
Yeah, I'm sure.
It's written like this: If you are a minister giving advice, you are counseling and it's a religious act. You can't charge money for it, but you can do a donation which can be a defacto fee.
If you just give advice like a tarot reader, it's a private transaction and you can be libel for their shitty life if they take your advice.
At least that was the way it was about 13 years ago, they may have changed the law.
If you do decide to do it, you don't have to use it. It's one of those things that it can't hurt to have just in case.
I guess the reason they wrote the laws that way is because they assume that in order to GET ordaned in the first place you have to leap through all kinds of hoops. I don't think that there is a group like the ULC who will simply go "bling" and ordain you.
Normally it takes YEARS of study to become ordained, and you HAVE to have the paper. Like the Catholic Church and most other seminarys. I don't think that the lawyers counted on the ULC doing this.
Quote from: DavenQuote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Are you sure about that? That is one hell of a giant loophole. And it would be worth it for that alone. Because I am always giving people advice, if I could preface everything I say with, you can't sue me, I'm a minister, that would rock.
Yeah, I'm sure.
It's written like this: If you are a minister giving advice, you are counseling and it's a religious act. You can't charge money for it, but you can do a donation which can be a defacto fee.
If you just give advice like a tarot reader, it's a private transaction and you can be libel for their shitty life if they take your advice.
At least that was the way it was about 13 years ago, they may have changed the law.
If you do decide to do it, you don't have to use it. It's one of those things that it can't hurt to have just in case.
That's why tarot readings are done for 'entertainment purposes' only.
Quote from: DavenOr as special as an Earl Scheib paint job.
::Looks around nervously::
Is there something wrong with this paint job i just got?
Quote from: LMNOQuote from: DavenOr as special as an Earl Scheib paint job.
::Looks around nervously::
Is there something wrong with this paint job i just got?
No, no, it's quite catchy.
But...
What's up with that dual muffler thing you have going on?
Quote from: Jack ChickBy what, the Unitarian church or the U.C.C.? Or are you one of those Pagan Anabaptists who has sex with his mule and worships a giant golden pitchfork and things he's going to be saved by having a shaggy hippy beard?
Now see here, you filthy rogue!
I am ordained as a minister in the Church of the Flaming Baby Jesus and I don't take to kindly to heathen-devil-pagans like you masquerading yourselves as Christians. You are filthy and shameful in your ungodliness, you decietful anti-christ! You have been warned. Your day of reckoning with the Lord is nigh! Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess! So don't you try to step!
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: Jack ChickBy what, the Unitarian church or the U.C.C.? Or are you one of those Pagan Anabaptists who has sex with his mule and worships a giant golden pitchfork and things he's going to be saved by having a shaggy hippy beard?
Now see here, you filthy rogue!
I am ordained as a minister in the Church of the Flaming Baby Jesus and I don't take to kindly to heathen-devil-pagans like you masquerading yourselves as Christians. You are filthy and shameful in your ungodliness, you decietful anti-christ! You have been warned. Your day of reckoning with the Lord is nigh! Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess! So don't you try to step!
You're in the Church of Flaming Baby Jesus?
I'm one of the Apocalypse Bretheren. How you guys doin'?
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: Jack ChickBy what, the Unitarian church or the U.C.C.? Or are you one of those Pagan Anabaptists who has sex with his mule and worships a giant golden pitchfork and things he's going to be saved by having a shaggy hippy beard?
Now see here, you filthy rogue!
I am ordained as a minister in the Church of the Flaming Baby Jesus and I don't take to kindly to heathen-devil-pagans like you masquerading yourselves as Christians. You are filthy and shameful in your ungodliness, you decietful anti-christ! You have been warned. Your day of reckoning with the Lord is nigh! Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess! So don't you try to step!
You're in the Church of Flaming Baby Jesus?
I'm one of the Apocalypse Bretheren. How you guys doin'?
We do all right, praise the Lord.
You are okay, but a tad too lavender for Christ, if you know what I mean. You may wish to repudiate that little heresy before the new purge starts.
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: Jack ChickBy what, the Unitarian church or the U.C.C.? Or are you one of those Pagan Anabaptists who has sex with his mule and worships a giant golden pitchfork and things he's going to be saved by having a shaggy hippy beard?
Now see here, you filthy rogue!
I am ordained as a minister in the Church of the Flaming Baby Jesus and I don't take to kindly to heathen-devil-pagans like you masquerading yourselves as Christians. You are filthy and shameful in your ungodliness, you decietful anti-christ! You have been warned. Your day of reckoning with the Lord is nigh! Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess! So don't you try to step!
You're in the Church of Flaming Baby Jesus?
I'm one of the Apocalypse Bretheren. How you guys doin'?
We do all right, praise the Lord.
You are okay, but a tad too lavender for Christ, if you know what I mean. You may wish to repudiate that little heresy before the new purge starts.
Got no time t'think about the New Purge, we have our Lord's Work to be done!
You know how it is.
Heckling women outside of Abortion Clinics.
Threatening the Doctors who work at the Clinics.
Killing them.
Blowing up the Clinics.
And don't get me started on passing all those laws against things for those sinners' own goods!
Heretic!
Why dost thou walk in the spirit of Satan?
Hast not thou the Lord?
Why must thee stepst?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCHeretic!
Why dost thou walk in the spirit of Satan?
Hast not thou the Lord?
Why must thee stepst?
Dude, are we on the same page, here, 'cause when I use my Apocalypse Brethern Translation from the Original Eldar God, all I get for that psalm is:
IA! IA! IA! IA SAKKAKTH! IAK SAKKAKH! IA SHA XUL!
IA! IA! IA UTUKKU XUL!
IA! IA ZIXUL! IA ZIXUL!
IA KINGU! IA AZBUL! IA AZABUA! IA XAZTUR! IA HUBBUR!
IA! IA! IA!
BAXABAXAXAXAXABAXAXAXAXA!
KAKHTAKHTAMON IAS!
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCHeretic!
Why dost thou walk in the spirit of Satan?
Hast not thou the Lord?
Why must thee stepst?
Dude, are we on the same page, here, 'cause when I use my Apocalypse Brethern Translation from the Original Eldar God, all I get for that psalm is:
IA! IA! IA! IA SAKKAKTH! IAK SAKKAKH! IA SHA XUL!
IA! IA! IA UTUKKU XUL!
IA! IA ZIXUL! IA ZIXUL!
IA KINGU! IA AZBUL! IA AZABUA! IA XAZTUR! IA HUBBUR!
IA! IA! IA!
BAXABAXAXAXAXABAXAXAXAXA!
KAKHTAKHTAMON IAS!
Why must you test the Lord with your heathen devil Spanish, huh?
Have you even
seen what happens when a person gets turned into a pillar of salt?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCHeretic!
Why dost thou walk in the spirit of Satan?
Hast not thou the Lord?
Why must thee stepst?
Dude, are we on the same page, here, 'cause when I use my Apocalypse Brethern Translation from the Original Eldar God, all I get for that psalm is:
IA! IA! IA! IA SAKKAKTH! IAK SAKKAKH! IA SHA XUL!
IA! IA! IA UTUKKU XUL!
IA! IA ZIXUL! IA ZIXUL!
IA KINGU! IA AZBUL! IA AZABUA! IA XAZTUR! IA HUBBUR!
IA! IA! IA!
BAXABAXAXAXAXABAXAXAXAXA!
KAKHTAKHTAMON IAS!
Why must you test the Lord with your heathen devil Spanish, huh?
Have you even seen what happens when a person gets turned into a pillar of salt?
That's when Richard Gere shows up with his 'Little Friends' who always need a salt lick.
WHY DOST THOU HATE THE LORD THY GOD?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWHY DOST THOU HATE THE LORD THY GOD?
/me points Hugh to a Thread in Apple Talk called, "Just to Let you Know."
I quote:
I hold it against Fate and the Gods I was not born a woman.
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWHY DOST THOU HATE THE LORD THY GOD?
/me points Hugh to a Thread in Apple Talk called, "Just to Let you Know."
I quote:
I hold it against Fate and the Gods I was not born a woman.
REPENT SINNER AND PERHAPS THE LORD WILL ALLOW YOU SOME TEA IN HELL!
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCWHY DOST THOU HATE THE LORD THY GOD?
/me points Hugh to a Thread in Apple Talk called, "Just to Let you Know."
I quote:
I hold it against Fate and the Gods I was not born a woman.
REPENT SINNER AND PERHAPS THE LORD WILL ALLOW YOU SOME TEA IN HELL!
I'll only buy it if there's Tea AND Cake in Hell.
Yeah. You say that now sinner!
But wait until your tongue is wrent from your mouth and your teeth are fed to you one by one.
Um, are you trying to channel Jack or something? Because its not really funny, just disturbing....or something.
I concur with the person who likes Fred's art.
I regreat making this topic. Whenever Christianity is discussed, things get really square.
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_FonzarellI regreat making this topic. Whenever Christianity is discussed, things get really square.
WHY DOST THOU DETEST JEEVUS?
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCQuote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_FonzarellI regreat making this topic. Whenever Christianity is discussed, things get really square.
WHY DOST THOU DETEST JEEVUS?
Pies Iesv Domine
Dona Aest Reqviem.
Hey freakoid von Klist or whatever your name is, you don't know jack about Latin.
Its actually:
Pie Jesu Domine
Donna Aeis Requiem
Sepiternam (optional)
Duh.
8)
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeHey freakoid von Klist or whatever your name is, you don't know jack about Latin.
Its actually:
Pie Jesu Domine
Donna Aeis Requiem
Sepiternam (optional)
Duh.
8)
I latin there is no J, only an I. And I'm not quoting the Dies Irae, the Dark-Age Gregorian Chant, I'm quoting from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail, of which the special features DVD gives the above lyrics.
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeHey freakoid von Klist or whatever your name is, you don't know jack about Latin.
Its actually:
Pie Jesu Domine
Donna Aeis Requiem
Sepiternam (optional)
Duh.
8)
I latin there is no J, only an I. And I'm not quoting the Dies Irae, the Dark-Age Gregorian Chant, I'm quoting from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail, of which the special features DVD gives the above lyrics.
Uhhhhh...you suck.
Quote from: ButtheadQuote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeHey freakoid von Klist or whatever your name is, you don't know jack about Latin.
Its actually:
Pie Jesu Domine
Donna Aeis Requiem
Sepiternam (optional)
Duh.
8)
cut out crap so Mal won't hit me
Uhhhhh...you suck.
yes he does, even talking about Monthy Python, which is cool, doesn't help him, it just makes it look lik Monthy Python sucks when they don't, but that Buddist chick is cool
Quote from: CORNHOLIOQuote from: ButtheadQuote from: Great Teacher LargoQuote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeHey freakoid von Klist or whatever your name is, you don't know jack about Latin.
Its actually:
Pie Jesu Domine
Donna Aeis Requiem
Sepiternam (optional)
Duh.
8)
cut out crap so Mal won't hit me
Uhhhhh...you suck.
yes he does, even talking about Monthy Python, which is cool, doesn't help him, it just makes it look lik Monthy Python sucks when they don't, but that Buddist chick is cool
Uhhh...that's a chick?
Quote from: ButtheadQuote from: CORNHOLIOQuote from: Butthead
Uhhhhh...you suck.
yes he does, even talking about Monthy Python, which is cool, doesn't help him, it just makes it look lik Monthy Python sucks when they don't, but that Buddist chick is cool
Uhhh...that's a chick?
looks like a chick
Quote from: CORNHOLIOQuote from: ButtheadQuote from: CORNHOLIOQuote from: Butthead
Uhhhhh...you suck.
yes he does, even talking about Monthy Python, which is cool, doesn't help him, it just makes it look lik Monthy Python sucks when they don't, but that Buddist chick is cool
Uhhh...that's a chick?
looks like a chick
Do you think she'll...huhuhuh...you know?
Quote from: ButtheadQuote from: CORNHOLIOQuote from: ButtheadQuote from: CORNHOLIOQuote from: Butthead
Uhhhhh...you suck.
yes he does, even talking about Monthy Python, which is cool, doesn't help him, it just makes it look lik Monthy Python sucks when they don't, but that Buddist chick is cool
Uhhh...that's a chick?
looks like a chick
Do you think she'll...huhuhuh...you know?
do I think, uh, no I don't think so, but I bet she'll hit you, that's been happening to me a lot, the girls around here are mean, but hot, which is cool and sucks all at the same time.
You could call me a girl, but some of the females around here might be offended, simply because Im not. Im 100% Male physically. If you look at the other thread, I think it will add some more evidence to this.
~BMW
after talking to you in msn, i'm pretty sure you're pretty damnsmaculine, despite if you may resent that, which isomehow doubt.
bmw, is totally fuc king prepared for the apocalypse.
I don't think Im exactly prepared for anything. I do like eating wild plants and stuff tho. Ive read some wilderness survival books too, and I have some tracking and hunting skills, tho I don't hunt.
Personally, I don't see how that prepares me for the apocalypse.
~BMW
If it's a non-nuclear one it may.
Getting back on topic, I'd say this forum need some false sermons. I'll see what I can do about that in a few days. Hopefully I'll still like the rant I've written then.
SHUT UP, SINNERS!
THE LAWD WILL SPEAK WHEN SHE IS GOOD AND READY!