Oh, Fuck
A film by Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli
SCENE 1
A JAPANESE MAN dressed as Abraham Lincoln but wearing only boxer shorts instead of pants stands outside of a bungalow and plays a violin made of human organs and bones. The tune he plays is that one Mozart (or maybe it,Äòs Vivaldi) song that they always play in cartoons and commercials. A CRAZED MAN runs down the street dressed eccentrically, waving a trout
CRAZED MAN: Karl Marx! Karl Marx! Karl Marx! Karl Marx! Karl Marx! Karl Marx! Karl Marx!
A HIDEOUS-LOOKING BLONDE PORN STAR walks up to JAPANESE MAN, pulls out his cock, and sucks him off until his jizz is blasted all over her face
SCENE 2:
The CRAZED MAN walks down a busy street. Men in business suits with gray faces holding briefcases goose-step in unison. He pulls out a copy of Beowulf and a Super-Soaker and begins reading from it and squirting them
SCENE 3:
The UN building
UN DELEGATE: I think it,Äôs time we revised section 2B146 of volume 567A9 once and for all. Furthermore,Ķ.
Suddenly, GRENDEL appears, with a massive club, and tackles the delegate. He bites into his jugular and rips it out with his teeth. He then pulls the deceased delegate,Äôs arm out of his socket and uses it to beat the delegate next to him to death. Many delegates run in fear. He catches another one, and clubs him to death with his club. He then begins to devour his corpse, consuming all but the legless torso. He then disrobes said torso and begins fucking it in the ass.
SCENE 4:
GEORGE W. BUSH walks up to a small house in the middle of the desert with a machine gun in hand, opens the door, and opens fire, killing all of the inhabitants of the house.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Fucking goddamn motherfucking piece of shit sand-niggers! I hate goddamn sand niggers so fucking much!
He then walks into the house, smashes up the kitchen, find jewelry in the jar of flour, and pockets it. A shot of him walking away as their blood puddles on the floor.
SCENE 5: A HIPPIE is playing a bass guitar in his room while a lobster watches mesmerized. A TAX COLLECTOR comes in, hears the music, produces a hideous shriek, and his head then explodes.
SCENE 6:
A group of attractive members of both sexes sit around in an interior set. A starved boy looks in at horror as they begin gorging themselves with Hershey kisses, vomiting them up, and coating each other in toilet paper
WOMAN: God bless America
An explicit bisexual orgy rivaling most hardcore porn films in variety and graphic nature follows. They then bring out a globe of planet Earth, which they all shit, piss, jizz, and menstruate on.
SCENE 7:
ERIS, a PIRATE, a WITCH, an INDIAN, a FAIRY, a GYPSY, a COWBOY, a VAMPIRE, a HIPPIE, and a PROSTITUTE go up to Japanese Lincoln as he continues to play. ERIS punches him in the face, knocking him out
FIN
make it 1.5 hrs and pitch it
i'd hit it.
what the hell?
Best post ever! Movie of the year!
That was truly an amazing journey.
I vote Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell for Nobel Peace Prize.
I want a sequel.
Quote from: FnordiscordiaThat was truly an amazing journey.
I vote Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell for Nobel Peace Prize.
I want a sequel.
You forgot to add two
words to your
sentence there
fuckhead you are
what said.
on a serious (serious) note though, I liked this.
nutmeg induces sick nasty nastiness
bump
seems like poetry to me
Wut?
TTM's bumps are seeming more and more arbitrary.
my life feel more complete for having read this
Last time I saw this they called it "The Aristocrats"
Wow. My perception of existence has been altered by this.
Sorry, but the whole thing was too clichéd.
Quote from: Mal-Zero on August 27, 2008, 03:48:11 AM
Sorry, but the whole thing was too clichéd.
Believe it or not, Chaplain was one of our more amazing users, back in the bad old days. This was not his best work.
Oh, I believe you. I mean, the story is good, but, yeah, cliches can be done well. Maybe if he used Edmund Barton instead of Lincoln. Not only is it not an overused person, but it would have forced people to look him up, if they cared.
Quote from: Sprehhan Boli on February 28, 2009, 06:17:34 AM
Oh, I believe you. I mean, the story is good, but, yeah, cliches can be done well. Maybe if he used Edmund Barton instead of Lincoln. Not only is it not an overused person, but it would have forced people to look him up, if they cared.
Yes! So that instead of it being a tired reference to...whatever it was a reference to, it could have been an instrument of growth and knowledge!